I found a funny textpost

the impulse to hide what I'm doing at my computer still sits so deep even tho I'm literally never looking at anything objectionable , the door will open and I'll hurry to close the page like oh fuck no one can know I'm looking at the Wikipedia page for the Balkans

my cat can instinctively tell when I’m upset about something and she will come in and bite my toes to make me feel worse 🥺 what a little empath

she’s like “oh I’ll give you something to cry about” 😈 *chomp*

Don’t look at things you know will make you angry. Don’t read the comment sections. Don’t look at the blogs of people who add dumb comments to posts to confirm that they’re dumb all the time. Don’t read old conversations you had with people you don’t talk to anymore. Go look at pictures of kittens or something instead. Protect yourself from negativity in every way you can.

Ancient Greek guy talking to Ancient Greek artist: so what kind of art do you do? Ancient Greek artist: handsome muscle boys Ancient Greek guy: nice, love that

the inherent eroticism of wearing a dagger strapped to your upper thigh

[me drawing 7s with a little line through them to impress girls in the library]: hmm. what? yes, i always draw 7s like this. it’s normal for me.

me? I’m a simply guy, I see a pigeon with even the slightest difference in color or pattern than the average pigeon, and I say “wow look at that pigeon!” it’s just who I am

me? I’m a simply guy, I see a pigeon with even the slightest difference in color or pattern than the average pigeon, and I say “wow look at that pigeon!” it’s just who I am

well maybe if adoption was more accessible to single parents and lesbian couples, witches wouldn’t have to go haggling for people’s firstborns

*Historian voice* in a monarchy with a small central government and little to no welfare provisions for its predominantly rural population, witches resignedly became both social service and foster parents; confiscating children from parents willing to barter them away for a prince, or a particularly interesting lettuce. In this essay I will

particularly interesting lettuce