I Hate Everyone

if you were one of the unnoticed ones, i am writing this for you. i am writing this because you were too good at smiling and laughing and never letting the truth  get loose. i am writing this because you kept your grades at a point where  nobody questioned you, even  when you sat awake at night wondering why you were terrifically empty inside. i am writing it for the panic attacks nobody saw, for the eating disorder you weren’t ‘thin enough’ for. i am writing it for the scars that stayed covered, the nights of ache that went unspoken. i am writing it for the mess in your room that your mom yelled about when really  it was a symbol of how apathetic you’d become. i’m writing it for the showers you skipped and the classes where you didn’t come. the illnesses that you allowed into your system, the weary  tiredness that everyone else challenged you with: your eight hours were bliss, you should feel perfect. i am writing it for the messages you  backed down from, the cries for help that went unanswered, the jokes you made that were the truth but said with a grin. i am writing it for the moment when you were giving advice that someone would ask, “how do you know all this?” i am writing it for the plates you left unwashed, the homework that went unfinished, for the pens you snapped with no other reason than to feel the release of breaking something. i am writing it for the nights  you stayed awake and  walked somebody else to shore even while nobody saw you  didn’t know how  to swim anymore. i see you. i see you hurting.  you deserve help. you deserve to feel good. you deserve to feel better. it’s okay to show it sometimes. it’s okay to bend. it’s okay. you’re not weak for your suffering. i believe in you. you’ve already shouldered so much. let the burden down.  it’s not giving up.