Open Your Mind Before Your Mouth

Dudes in 18th century would b like “if u don’t respond to my marriage proposal by next winter I’m going to enlist in the war and die .”

Me trynna jerk off: thinks about having super powers* Me @ myself: this isn’t sexy man, focus

I know for a fact I’ve told this story on here before but I’ll never get over the time when I was working retail and I was cashing out some lady so I asked “cash, debit or credit how are you paying, ma’am?” And she said “that’s none of your business.” And demanded to speak to my manager about my invasive question

Painfully average looking with a great sense of humor and always down to get drunk

if you firmly believe cowboy cats would say meowdy hit that mf reblog

IT’S HIGH MEWN.

This meown ain’t big enough for the both of us, pardnya

Stinky