I Stole Your Flour

Damian: "You bastard, do you really think-"

Jon: "Woah, woah, woah."

Jon: "You're calling him a bastard..."

Jon: [turns to the the children they just saved from a burning building] "See kids, that's what we'd call irony."

I don't like no cape au's when it comes to the Batfam, or any superhero media honestly. I think it's pointless and dilutes the character of a part of themselves that I'd consider essential.

For example, Bruce made Batman as a coping mechanism I feel like we can all agree on that; Bruce is not Bruce without Batman. You could tie this to him having such strick rules for that part of himself because it's important to him and needs to be a stable constant in his life (ie "if I cross that line I won't be able to stop." Or whatever the qoute is?) So stripping him of Batman would kind of make Bruce feel pointless to me? Yeah they're might be some good fics that can pull this off but most of the time it just feels dull you know? You need the mask to separate Brucie Wayne and Bruce, without it, all there is is a billionaire playboy with issues... lots of issues, and no where to put them.

Damian: "Kent."

Jon: "Yeah?"

Damian: "Take a bite out of that railing and I'll name my firstborn after you."

Jon:

Jon: "Fine, but only because Jonathan Wayne's got a nice ring to it."

Dick: [walks in, hearing only that.]

Dick: "Pause. What??"

Jon and Damian: [looks at each other] ?

Jon: "wAIT- No it's not-"

Damian: "We were just betting on our children!?"

Dick:

Damian:

Jon:

Dick: [dials number]

Bruce: *picks up*

Jon: [chews loudly] "Yeah, it's called genetics."

Tim: "Which one?"

Kon: "I don't know. Visa?"

Dick: ". . ."

Alfred: ". . ."

The entire Justice League: ". . ."

Superman:

Jason and Tim in unison: "This is the way."

The photo's were taken from a secruity camera in an Alleyway. They were grainy and dark but you could still make out Batman, carrying a sleeping Robin in his arms, rubbing his back soothingly as he walked to the Batmobile, setting him gently in the passenger's seat.

The first one to see it was Bruce, but he didn't say a word. Than Dick, than Stephanie... and so on

Eventually Jason, walking out of a dingy warehouse he just made a deal in, comes across a newspaper stand. He lifts the picture up to his face, unsure of if he was seeing this right. He swallowed back some emotion he didn't quite have a name for.

He remembered that night...

He was faking and he knew, that Bruce knew.

He walked home, holding the paper underneath his arm trying to ignore the memories, trying to ignore how good it felt to be held, and how much he missed that night.

Would it be considered somophilia if hypothetically Soap fell asleep on Ghost while cuddling and perhaps had... a dream while laying on top of him? And Simon maybe notices the quiet little noises Soaps making; the groans, the soft mumbles of what sounds like his name against his chest. And it might do things to him..?

Especially when Soap may or may not slightly press his pelvis deeper against Simon's thigh, possibly leaving a wet spot on his gray sweatpants. Which totally doesn't make Simon shudder as he bites back the urge to touch him.

Have I already read it online multiple times?

Yes...

Random Reporter 1: "Superman, do you have any comment on the global epidemic right now?"

Random Reporter 2: "Or the crises happening in different parts of Africa?"

Clark: "Oh I- well um? I-"

Random Reporter 6: "What is your relationship with Batman? Platonic or purely sexual?"

*starts frantically opening cabinets*

Dick: "Woah, woah, woah... it's under the sink."

Jason: "...but you know we keep the industrial kind in the batcave right?"

Dick: "Yeah, how big of a blood stain we talking?"

Steph: "What? No it's for my eyes!!!"

Jason: "What you walk in on Dick changing again or something? Cause believe me it's a sight we'd both wanna erase from our minds, hand it over."

Tim: "Amen."

Dick: "Oh shut up. What happened though?"

Kara, clenching her fists: "Okay, okay how about this one."

Clark: "Mmhm."

Kara: "Would you rather, hear me out here, would you rather brutally beat and torture Batman.

Clark: *winces slightly*

Kara: "-like I'm talking rip him apart and throw him into the sun kinda beat and torture him."

Kara: "Or, Ooor say fuck one time."

Clark, purely trolling her at this point: "Hmm?"

Kara: "WHAT IS THERE TO THINK ABOUT!??"

Clark: "I don't know it's just... hmm difficul-"