Idol's Haven

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Q: I tend to quickly get anxious, get angry, and go around in circles then get disappointed. I want to become an adult like Date-sama who isn’t agitated by anything and can act calmly...

A: When I’m asked “Is there that made you fret or blow your fuse?”, I answer “None” because I think it’s a waste of time. I can’t go back in time to fix what made me anxious, if anything, I’m wasting the time that passes the more I fret. As for when I get angry, it’s definitely when I act without deeply thinking about it and do stuff like say “This is okay like this” and half-heatedly prepare for something.  It’s because I can do something without panicking if I just prepare for it properly. That’s why I want to ask myself once “Am I unconsciously taking it easy?”.

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Q: I like eating delicious food and always fail in my diet... What should I do to have a strong mentality so that I would not lose to temptation?

A: Not just sweets or delicious food but also limited items and popular food, I think there are a lot of tempting food items in the world! That’s why I want you to ask “Do I really want this?” and have a suspicious mind (regarding food). And for that, you would need another self who would remain deeply doubtful (of your cravings). Even I myself have times when I feel like I’ll lose to temptation. When that time comes another me who is stoic and deeply doubtful appears. He is “Date-sama B”.

"Miyadate A: It looks delicious Miyadate B: Is that really delicious, though? Miyadate A: But “bestseller” is written on it Miyadate B: Is that really a bestseller? Do you really want to eat that? Are you really fine that all your hard work until now will become nothing? Miyadate A:  I’ll give up on eating that!!"

I’m always having that conversation inside of me (laughs).  

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Q: I always get nervous when I present at work. It ends with me not being able to show even half of my abilities. Is there a way to overcome my nervousness when I’m in front of people?

A:  I couldn’t even say my name in front of everyone at a birthday party at kindergarten that's why my teacher said my name for me. That was how much of an introverted shy boy I was when I was younger. That’s why I painfully understand the feeling of being nervous (in front of people). But nothing changed when I continued repeating the words “It’s scary” and “I’m anxious”. What’s important is that you put in the effort while heading towards your goal and properly reflect upon that effort every day.  Even if the people around you kindly say “It’s okay!” you wouldn’t be able to think that it’s okay without basis. What gives courage is always thinking “I did this much yesterday” and “I did this today”; and the time and effort you devoted to moving towards your goal.

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Q: I’m worried that I don’t have a personality because I can’t help but blend with my surroundings no matter what kind of situation. Like how Date-sama has established that he is “Sexy, Royal, and Beautiful”, what should I do to find my own personality?

A: In my case, when I consciously spent every day trying to get closer to “what I want to be” it somehow became my trait before I realized it. I think polishing your traits is important but, in the same sense that there are no two people who are the same, I also think that everyone has a trait that they have from the start that they don’t have to try hard to find. I think “blending with your surroundings” is an amazing trait that not everyone has because there are people who find it hard to do. Being able to show your different selves while meeting different people and taking in different atmospheres... Doesn’t that make you a really high-spec person?!!

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Q: I’m not good at communicating with others.  I am so scared of silence that I can’t bear but blab about unnecessary things and end up regretting it. What should I do to be like Date-sama who can break through even silence without being afraid?

A: If you’re not good at talking with your mouth, then become someone who can speak through their eyes. “Your feelings are not only conveyed through your mouth” - once you know this you would stop relying on words. Actually, my eyes are more talkative than my mouth because when our eyes meet I will make sure that I keep looking at the other person until they look away and then I am able to think “Okay, that’s my win!” (laughs).

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Q: I can’t like myself. Without being able to stop thinking “Someone like me...”, I always make myself small and do not say what I think.

A: First I want to send these words: “Who would love me if I can’t love myself?!” I also hated myself before but one day I realized something. That I was born in this world and living this way; that I am here right now is in itself something amazing. It’s already a miracle that I am alive, can walk, and can speak. Once you realize that who you are now is not something “commonplace” but is a “miracle”, does it not make you want to cherish yourself more? It’s also important to properly know yourself. If you properly face yourself without averting your gaze even when you find things you hate about yourself, then you would definitely see not only the bad things but also see the good. Wouldn’t you see how precious you are the more you study yourself?

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Q: What does Date-sama do when he hit the wall (thought) that’s called “I can’t do it no matter even if I work hard”?

 A: Unfortunately I don’t have something “I can’t do”. When I have something I can’t do now, it just means I haven’t reached that level yet. If that’s so then I should try stepping back. For example, if I can’t jump high right now, then instead of training my running I will first practice doing squats. Try seeing what you lack from an observer’s point of view. If you polish squats, the skill before doing high jumps, then even if you take the longer route you can be certain that you can jump higher than before. And just like that, if you work hard and climb each step without skipping the process, the day when you can do what you cannot do right now will surely come. I think that way that’s why I believe that “There’s nothing I can’t do if I work hard”.

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Q: I can’t help but feel brokenhearted and think “I can’t do this anymore” when something unpleasant happens. I quickly give up on my dreams and goals, but I want to fix this trait!

A: If you hurry while walking, you get angry and say “What the hell?!” when you trip a little. All you can see are your flaws and faults. And that is why when my heart is about to break or when I’m about to give up, I stop for a while and confirm what I feel. And if my motivation still doesn’t go up after doing that, I try thinking about it from a different direction (t/n: the word he used was vector). For example, I am able to make the people around me happy even if my dream hasn’t come true. Then, for now, I will make everyone happy while unhurriedly moving toward my dream. Using just your dreams and goals as compasses (t/n:  again, he used the word vector) will make you think “I can’t do it” or “I’m not improving” and make you impatient.  If you look at yourself from various perspectives (t/n: again, he used the word vector), you will see a different good trait that you have now. Sometimes that realization changes to motivation, and it’s alright to walk slowly at your own pace.

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Q: I want to confess my feelings to the person I like but I’m scared and can’t quite do it. Won’t Date-sama please give me the push I need through your words?

A: Before giving you the push you need... “Is it really fine like that?” If you really like that person then you would have already said how you feel before you consulted with me.

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Q: I am not good with complimenting myself. Date-sama, how do you compliment yourself?

A:  I rarely compliment myself. That’s because I would feel satisfied when I get complimented. Whenever I accomplish something I prefer that I give myself a reward, like clothes or bags or shoes, instead of complimenting myself because I can think “I still have more I can do” and “I can do better” if I do that. And then I can think “I can work harder for the next reward!!” and push myself forward.

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Q: I always brood over my error at work and mistakes in interaction with others. How can I get better at mentally switching gears?

A: Imagine someone who crams all their worries and failures in a big bag and walks with that bag for countless hours. They spend countless hours even if that distance can be walked in an hour. That is how you are right now. If you imagine that someone as yourself then you would realize it: “I want to let go of this immediately”.

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Q: I often spend the whole day sluggishly without turning on my engine (t/n: getting motivated). If there is a Date-sama style of “turning on an engine” then I would love to learn about it.

A: The engine will stop someday if you keep on forcing it to turn on. That’s why I don’t forcibly turn on my switch on days I don’t feel motivated. I think it is fine to have a day when you just let your switch stay on the “off” side.

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Q: Between “I’m good at it but I don’t want to do it” and “I’m bad at it but I want to do it”, which does Date-sama prefer?

A: It’s definitely “I’m bad at it but I want to do it”. I can feel the energy of still wanting to do something despite being bad at it, isn’t that very valuable for the heart?

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Q: I am an amateur and bad at cooking. What kind of dish should I start with to be able to be good at cooking like Date-sama?

A: The first time I cooked was when I helped my mother. If you ask me why it was fun for me, it was because I cut the ingredients. More than cooking, being beside my mother the whole time I was cutting the ingredients was memorable to me. That’s why how about starting by cutting ingredients first?

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Q: Ever since I’ve become a corporate person, I’ve been spending the days just going to work and coming home and then going to work again. What should I do to add color to my gray-colored every day?

A: How about adding “Miyadate Ryota” to your life? I think it would be quite fun.

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Q: I’m indecisive. I always overthink when I buy ice cream... If Date-sama decides for me, I will eat that one flavor for the rest of my life!!

A: Wouldn’t it be boring if I decide on one flavor? Then it would be good if you buy a different flavor each time you go for ice cream. That would be 7 flavors in a week and 30 flavors in a month. I think it would make your life more enjoyable if you get to know different flavors.

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Q: I’m indecisive. I always hesitate when I’m at the convenience store so please tell me the best ingredient for onigiri!

A: If it’s onigiri then it’s kombu/ kelp (decisively). I like it. It’s delicious no matter how many times I eat it (laughs).

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Q: I want to be like Date-sama who is overflowing with elegance!

A: When I’m asked “Where does grace dwell?”, I’d answer “a person’s back”.  People hunch their backs when they feel down, and stand straight when they feel confident. It’s exactly because I am in a place where I can express myself that I want to constantly stand straight and be elegant.

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Q: Date-sama is the ideal gentleman that I can’t see anyone else. What should I do?

A: Miyadate Ryota, he really is a sinful man.

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Q: I am very stressed. Please tell me your recommended way to refresh!

A: Soak in the bathtub and then take 3 deep breaths. Please try it. It’s like you’re breathing in a different air and you’d feel your own breathing change.

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