she's fine.

solo ;; detail your parent’s initial and current thoughts on your career choice.

“are you sure this is what you want to do?”

eleanor remembers those words clear as day out of her father’s mouth when she told him about her offer from kjh global creative. he was in his office, book open, eyes not even bothering to leave the page as she told him that she had auditioned for an entertainment company in south korea. she was used to this lack of interest, it had started at a young age and no doubt ellie had contributed to it. he probably thought this was just another ploy for attention. maybe it was.

it had been nearly six years now and the words still stuck with her. it wasn’t something she talked about with others. they didn’t need to know about her family; no doubt they’d think her complaints were childish. she knew people with far worse families than her own. with parents that were no longer around, or parents who had cast them aside solely because of their career. they didn’t want to hear the gripes of the sad american girl whose parents didn’t call her often enough.

“how’s mom and dad?” she asked her brother through the phone, not looking at the screen as the two facetimed. instead, she chose to focus on the chipping nail polish on her fingers, making it worse so that no doubt their stylist would scold her later.

“same old same old.” that didn’t surprise eleanor. her parents had perfected their routine even before her and her siblings were born. they were unmoving, stuck in tradition.

“they watched your last music video you know. the spanish one.” this, though, caused ellie to look up.

“they did?”

no part of her ever expected her parents to be genuinely interested in her career. her rapping was a side of her she had never actually shown to them. it wasn’t impressive like her brother, the psychologist and perfect korean sons. or her younger siblings who seemed to gain academic accolades one after another. they hadn’t been interested when she started. rather, they seemed annoyed. but she had gone anyways, determined to prove herself. and here she was, successful. but they had never called to congratulate her, never flown out on holiday to see her.

“of course they did. they’ve seen them all, even your solo stuff.”

wasn’t it normal to be proud of your kids? to brag about them to your friends? what would she have to do to be that kid? did she even want to be that kid anymore?

“that seems hard to believe. they’ve never said anything to me.”

this earned a sigh and an eye roll from her brother.

“you’re just like them, you know. stubborn, trying to hide your emotions. since when have we ever been that talkative family? why do you think they would start now, just because you’re feeling insecure?”

her face softens and she looks away from the camera. he’s right. her brother is always right, another flaw of his if you ask eleanor. but for her, it’s easier to play the victim. she won’t believe they’re proud of her until one of them says it. but she’s tired of waiting for their approval. and certainly tired of being compared to her parents. she’s nothing like them, she’d never be like them.

“i have to go. i’ll talk to you later.”

late to the game, but it’s jay back again with the return of miss ellie! main rapper and vocal of jawbreaker, not much has changed about her except i aged her down a year to fit with her group now being a younger group. her profile is all updated and i put together some plots i’m v excited about. if you’re interested in plotting, i’d loooove to get some stuff going for this girl, so like this post and i’ll reach out to you! more info about my girl under the cut.