professional idiot

OH MY GOD

Everyone

It is now an audio post and this is the best thing ever <3

‘It’s Hard Being Away From You All,’ Says Donald Trump While Spreading Bird Feed Around Rooftop Pigeon Coop

Appearing relaxed and in high spirits as he sprinkled handfuls of bird feed around his rooftop coop, Donald Trump reportedly told his flock of domesticated pigeons Monday that it has been hard spending so much time away from them during his presidential campaign.

According to sources, the presumptive GOP nominee spread the mixture of seed and grain in a careful, even manner through the hand-built pigeon shelter that sits atop Trump Tower, gently assuring the birds he has not forgotten them and has greatly missed their usual time together.

He was then seen opening a single cage, taking out one of his many beloved pigeons, and cupping it in his hands as he tenderly stroked its feathers.

“Who’s hungry?” the billionaire real estate investor said as he pulled on a pair of old gardening gloves and grabbed generous helpings of feed from the pockets of a tattered denim coat. “Sorry I was gone so long, my loves. I hope you didn’t get too lonely.”

“I’ve been thinking about you,” he added with a smile.