Cyan (he/him or they/them). Always here for family stories. Actually a penguin blog in disguise. Sidebar gif by the amazing @bikatniss.
One Piece sideblog: @oceanofstardust.
It’s already 2026, so I thought I might look back and create a wrap-up post for the writing I did last year!
In total, I published 27.9k words last year, spread over 8 fics, all for the Alex Rider fandom. It wasn't the best year for writing, unfortunately, but I still managed to post some fics I'm proud of, and I did actually write a fair bit that didn't get posted (but hopefully will in the future).
As always, thanks so much to everyone who took the time to read and leave kudos and comment on my fics, it always makes my day <3
Yassen & Alex
Drinking Lessons (T, 4.8k) - Devil!verse fic where Yassen teaches 16-year-old Alex a lesson about alcohol.
After Alex drinks a bit too much at a New Year's Eve party, Yassen decides to get Alex drunk to teach him about his limits.
Domesticated (T, 8.1k) - Hurt/comfort fic where Yassen takes care of a concussed Alex and his cats.
Alex wakes up with a pounding headache to find that not only is Yassen Gregorovich apparently alive, but he is sitting in Alex’s armchair with a purring cat in his lap, quietly reading a book. It's a lot to take in.
Written for the Spyfest 2025 Gift Exchange.
Yassen/Alex
The Benefits of Friendship (E, 1.2k) - 3x06 AU where Yassen gives Alex a handjob, with implied past John/Yassen.
Set during episode 3x06. Alex and Yassen have to share the only bed in the safe house. When Alex struggles to sleep, Yassen decides to lend a hand.
The Rooftop Revisited (E, 1.1k) - Movieverse yalex PWP.
Another rooftop, another conversation.
"This doesn't change anything," Alex insisted as he let Yassen push him against the wall, already fumbling with Yassen's belt.
Yassen sounded almost amused. "As you say."
The Affair at the Wedding (E, 3.9k) - Post-S3 Yalex where Alex tries to hide he's been drugged with an aphrodisiac.
It’s just Alex’s luck that the next time he sees Yassen after Invisible Sword, he ends up hurt, stuck in a storage cupboard with Yassen, and fighting the effects of a rather potent aphrodisiac.
Exchange treat for @proodence for Spyfest After Dark 2025.
Miscellaneous
Death in Paradise (John & Alex, T, 2.2k) - Ark Angel AU where Alex is saved his father.
A slight change in timing means there is no Tamara Knight to rescue Alex from the Mary Belle. Trapped twenty-two metres below the surface and with his air supply running out, Alex finds himself saved instead by a man who's supposed to be long dead: John Rider.
like ashes in your mouth (Ash & Alex, T, 2.7k) - Snakehead told through Ash's POV.
There are times, during that final mission, when he considers killing the boy in his sleep. It would be a kinder thing to do than this, the way Ash lies to his face while leading Alex to his grave.
Ash's POV on his deception of Alex during the Snakehead mission.
Game Over (Alex, T, 3.9k) - Whump mission fic where Alex gets used as a dartboard before he manages to escape.
When Alex is caught on a mission, the guards come up with a cruel game to torment him. Not for the first time, Alex finds himself hurt and tied up, and with no one to rely on but himself.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Just had to talk a friend down from a two cakes crisis. Her cakes - meaning her fic - are absolutely fine, but she felt a little down and checked out the rest of the dessert table. She got caught up in the whole comparison thing. "Oh man, this fic is way better than mine 😞."
And hoo boy, have I ever been there. When I was writing prolifically, I just wouldn't read. I couldn't because I knew I'd go into that fic measuring mindset and declare myself the loser, have to step away from the keyboard and stare out the window a while. And if I had an exchange deadline? Absolute worst timing.
Not everyone goes through that of course, but it's more common than you think, even with so-called established writers. I've seen people delete wips or even their whole account over that burden of doubt. So here are some possible tips to crawl out from under that burden:
Table it. You're done for the day. You've been staring at that cursor for too long. You have no perspective on your work anymore. Go do something else: play with your dog/cat/fish, go for a walk, eat something, go to bed if it's late.
Re-engage with the source material. Watch an episode, read a chapter, listen to that podcast, whatever it is. Find that voice in your head that sings in harmony with the source.
Read positive comments left on your previous work. Trust what they've told you. Because the liar here is your doubt, not your readers.
Hit up that friend you trust and ask them to tell you your strengths. Even if you don't believe it right now, you have strengths as a writer. Maybe it's worldbuilding, maybe it's dialogue; your friend will give you concrete examples. You don't need a beta right now, that will come later.
You're not alone. This is a community. Even if it's a rarepair or gen fic in a niche fandom - and especially then! - someone will be so happy that you brought that cake to the table.
Incredibly violent take of mine but I actually don’t think you need to relate to a story in any way to enjoy it. You can enjoy a story even if you can’t point at a character and insert some aspect of your personality or identity into them. In fact I would argue the need for a character like that to be present in every single story you experience is a sign of stunted growth.
"I'm lying to you but this sentence is technically the truth without context" is such a good trope. Like yes the way that I am spinning these words forms a lie but if you squint I'm actually not lying.
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Rereading some of Snakehead and I honestly do still find Ash such a compelling character. He's so tortured, both physically suffering from chronic pain from his old injuries and emotionally at being confronted by Alex as a reminder of all his past sins. And with the reveal of his betrayal/deception, all his scenes with Alex are fascinating to reread and try to figure out what he was thinking. How after Alex gets taken to the boxing game and he takes hours to get home, he finds Ash pacing and 'worried sick' and Ash exclaims 'I can't believe I let them do that to you' and like yeah, that's the character right there. That quote is basically Ash in the entire book, because while he does make a few attempts to warn Alex off and get him to abandon the mission, in the end he is agreeing to let Alex come with him knowing full well that it will likely lead to his death. He knows he works for Scorpia, he knows they want Alex dead, it's just a matter of time until they grow tired of playing with him and pull the trigger (or worse, make Ash do it). No wonder Ash was in such a state when Alex didn't return from the boxing right away, he would have every reason to think Alex may have been killed. And gosh, the way he tells Alex something about John afterwards, like he's rewarding Alex with the information he wants so badly and that Ash has been holding back so far... And just, Alex being there only to find information about his parents and Ash being so reluctant to talk, and so much of a disappointment to Alex as a godfather. And Alex after meeting with MI6 and having Ash say he should leave the gadgets pushing back on it and starting to hold things back from Ash, which ends up saving his life in the end because Ash sabotages every gadget he knows about. Gosh, it's just such a fascinating story and even more compelling going back to it after knowing the reveal. Ash knew all along! He looked tortured and guilty because he killed John and Helen and now he's leading Alex to his death and it's all there when you know!
Anyway I couldn't stop thinking about this after my last reread either so I ended up writing fic about Ash's pov during Snakehead:
like ashes in your mouth (Alex & Ash, T, 2.7k)
There are times, during that final mission, when he considers killing the boy in his sleep. It would be a kinder thing to do than this, the way Ash lies to his face while leading Alex to his grave.
Ash's POV on his deception of Alex during the Snakehead mission.
Rereading some of Snakehead and I honestly do still find Ash such a compelling character. He's so tortured, both physically suffering from chronic pain from his old injuries and emotionally at being confronted by Alex as a reminder of all his past sins. And with the reveal of his betrayal/deception, all his scenes with Alex are fascinating to reread and try to figure out what he was thinking. How after Alex gets taken to the boxing game and he takes hours to get home, he finds Ash pacing and 'worried sick' and Ash exclaims 'I can't believe I let them do that to you' and like yeah, that's the character right there. That quote is basically Ash in the entire book, because while he does make a few attempts to warn Alex off and get him to abandon the mission, in the end he is agreeing to let Alex come with him knowing full well that it will likely lead to his death. He knows he works for Scorpia, he knows they want Alex dead, it's just a matter of time until they grow tired of playing with him and pull the trigger (or worse, make Ash do it). No wonder Ash was in such a state when Alex didn't return from the boxing right away, he would have every reason to think Alex may have been killed. And gosh, the way he tells Alex something about John afterwards, like he's rewarding Alex with the information he wants so badly and that Ash has been holding back so far... And just, Alex being there only to find information about his parents and Ash being so reluctant to talk, and so much of a disappointment to Alex as a godfather. And Alex after meeting with MI6 and having Ash say he should leave the gadgets pushing back on it and starting to hold things back from Ash, which ends up saving his life in the end because Ash sabotages every gadget he knows about. Gosh, it's just such a fascinating story and even more compelling going back to it after knowing the reveal. Ash knew all along! He looked tortured and guilty because he killed John and Helen and now he's leading Alex to his death and it's all there when you know!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
it's always a fun challenge to give characters traits that you don't have or write them being into things you wouldn't touch with a ten-feet pole. Really teaches you to see things from a different perspective. To take your own preferences out of the equation. For example sometimes I write characters who like eating fish.
Having said this I simply cannot bear writing characters who hate maths. There are already too many characters out there who act like they've been tortured by being forced to do calculus, I'm not writing more :((
