TitleofBlog

Quick shout out to the Down syndrome kid from my after-school program back when I was in grade school. Like yea he had the usual issues but he was a sweetheart and quite funny; and one day both his parents showed up at the same time to pick him up and I had the experience of meeting a family of genetically disabled people that had jobs and a home and a kid in school and it was a profoundly normalizing experience for me like I couldn’t take eugenicists seriously after that because like “no they totally can have whole entire meaningful lives with marriage and children and work and hobbies have you not met Dennis??” Anyway quick shout out to Dennis you were a real one

it’s 2014 it’s time we moved on as a nation and stop reblogging this

every person who reblogs this in 2015 is gonna get their ass kicked by yours truly

World Heritage Post

you know people make fun of ned for claiming that 3 year old rickon is too old to be scared of direwolves, but I bet he was even worse with baby jon. I mean at least the other kids had catelyn to balance his parenting out, but jon only ever had ned for emotional support. like imagine newborn jon crying because he’s hungry or tired or something, and ned just picks him up, looks him straight in the eye, and imparts one of his classic Starkisms™ to him like 😐 “you’re too old for this now, jon. no more tears. we’re not in dorne anymore. you are a child of the north, and in the winter your tears will freeze on your cheeks and explode in your eyeballs and kill you violently. end this mummer’s farce while you still can.” and then eight-week-old jon immediately shuts the fuck up and never cries again (ned gives him a little forehead kiss as a reward). anyway this is why jon is Like That.

dump his ass. move to a walkable city. start hormones. get into fiber crafts. dye your hair weird. grow an herb garden. foster a distrustful cat. take a welding class. invite your friends over for tea and cake. get way too into obscure media. explore a new cuisine. lie to the police. protest in the streets. life has so many possibilities don't it?

make out with a frenemy. buy noise cancelling headphones. wear office inappropriate attire. quit a toxic workplace. improve your apartment. start a dog walking sidegig. get on first name basis with your local librarians. bully politicians at town hall meetings. get an unexpected piercing. cultivate farmer's market connections. trade recipes with a gossipy old neighbor. unionize your apartment complex. move to the countryside. let a friend take you larping. keep a sword on your mantleplace

get a tattoo on your 40th birthday. be tempted to buy a loom. do a charity drag show. sue your landlord. buy a really nice kitchen appliance. volunteer at an anarchist soup kitchen. rediscover a tv show you watched when you were 8. spam your state senators. shop at asian grocery stores. do cosplay. buy trans flags in bulk and mount them along the highway. go viral for unexpected reasons. move in with your best friend. make lemoncello with leftover lemon rinds. run for school board membership. explore pegging.

update: i'm delighted to report this post has been responsible for at least one person dumping his ass

update: three four people

in modern asoiaf wex is theon’s 12 year old algebra tutor (child genius and teenage dirtbag buddy comedy duo situation) who theon enlists to do the accounting for his business (selling vapes filled with water to kids in the park for 50 bucks each) until lysa finds out he sold robin an ‘e-cigarette’ and calls the police. wex lies to the cops for theon (who’s now temporarily blinded after lysa maced him) so theon is forever in this seventh grader’s debt but the only thing wex asks for is a date with asha because he knows it’ll piss theon off sooooo bad. asha thinks it’s the funniest thing in the world also she hates theon so she and qarl take wex out for ice cream while theon vents in his journal (robb said his therapist recommends it to blow off steam) until he gets bored and punches a hole through the wall next to a neat row of other punched holes covered by posters of half naked men covered by pictures of half naked women. their business is failing btw bran keeps stealing the pre-janked vapes from theon’s bag so he can give them to jojen (neither of them vape they just like to have them) and theon is convinced that the police are watching him and taking his vapes before he can sell them so that the government can force him to get a job because ramsay (lab partner in biology who always smells like pepperoni and b/o) told him about area 51 and now theon’s really scared of the fbi monitoring him and busting up his fake vape business and putting him away for life in one of those freaky facilities ramsay won’t shut up about where they torture you and probe you probably (he tries not to think about the probing because it makes his stomach feel weird). ok good night i loveyou

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

Asoiaf modern au where Melisandre is an etsy witch and Stannis is her favorite customer. He buys hexes from her nearly every day (mainly trying to curse Renly forever) and then brings Selyse into it. Melisandre convinces Selyse to stop vaccinating Shireen and that she will simply cure all of her illnesses with moon water jars.

Iron Islander voice: Theon you [19 syllable dolphin noise slur] I see you came back WOKE and GAY and a WOMAN from us leaving you as a child prisoner to the guy with an 8 foot sword that makes you drag it around to executions in front of his screaming faced tree gods as a daily reminder that he can and will kill you (a child) just like he killed the rest of your family (some of which were also children). Did you have fun polishing his sword? I’ll bet. Did you write this letter yourself? Knowing there’s a one person literacy limit? Should we call you Theon the Reader, you reading fuck? And standing here in a jean jacket you bought yourself, may as well be sucking dick at old navy. You know who’s NOT woke or gay or a woman? Your sister Asha. Why can’t you be less gay and woke and a woman, like Asha? I bet she could run a democratic election because you know what isn’t gay Theon? Democracy

"unbecoming" is such a great word. bro that shit was so rude you no longer Are