Memories like Ashes and Stars

Things are making sense for the first time. You are starting to understand why you felt so obsessed with them. Why you kept going back despite of thousands of lie they told you, ditched you in thousands way. And why the highs felt euphoric and silence felt unbearable.

I loved embarrassingly hard. I tried as harder as a person can. But I did so silently. I drenched in the rain of desire thinking of her dancing with me. I cherished her angel wings so that she can save my soul, inhale my pain and regenerate me from a pit of ash.

“She is a friend of mind. She gather me, man. The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order. It’s good, you know, when you got a woman who is a friend of your mind

I was observing her when she was eating. She looked more like a butterfly and I thought, at any time her wings would come out and hurl her through the air. I felt Oxygen level dropping around and kept my eyes away. It was a calm and quiet place. I didn’t visit that place earlier but just hop in to check out. She has great taste of food as far I know and always finish with a soft drink. I remembered once she took a sip of Cola and immediately finished with her lunch. I asked why? And she shrugged “I always finish with it and after Cola no more eating”. So I told her not to touch that Cola just now. From the beginning I felt that she was upset and couldn’t concentrate as she had a mishap with her more than friend (in her words). So I prefer to keep quiet, prefer not to tell what I felt and also prefer not to ask what she was feeling. Sometimes later she noticed me and asked “What??”. She can predict me and can read me quite comfortably. I didn’t know what was that and how she could do it but only knew that was something she is capable of and that was trekking me towards her soul. 

Later she asked me why I stared at her for few second and then I blinked my eyes and concentrated on the roads that evening. I couldn’t answer, all I said “NOTHING”. Although I was careful and tried not to be noticed by her anyway. But that’s her, she processes each and every bliss that passes through us and somehow she has microscopic tenderness about Me. I know that’s what she is built up with and me is not the exception of her regular behavior. Though that day I felt obsession to the moment when her hair came across her face and she restored it at ease with a deep blank look ahead. And I decided to keep my lips silent, to keep my heart calm and kept going with the word NOTHING. 

We live in moments, not in memory. That’s how we evolve

I fall in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, then all at once