ICARUS DOLOHOV

Alexander furrowed his brow, his grip still tight on Icarus as he processed what the other male was saying. He didn’t know what exactly he meant by ‘the bond’ but his other words combined with the look on Rosaline’s face was enough for his grip to loosen slightly. “Why would you start a fight knowing it would hurt her?” He demanded, incredulously, guilt flooding him. He hadn’t been pulling his punches, not even close. The idea of Rosaline feeling that….it made him feel sick to his stomach. Before he could do any more, a hand grabbed at the collar of his school uniform and yanked him up sharply, and he winced when he was met with the furious face of the Hogwarts headmistress. She’d somehow managed to make it through the crowd with another professor, who had pulled Icarus up too. Alexander ignored the yelling about detentions and consequences, and sought out Rosaline’s face instead, mouthing ‘I’m sorry’ to her once he’d caught her eyes.

“Forgive me if the fine details of an ancient magical spell weren’t the first thing I was thinking when you were bragging about fucking my wife.” He spat, chest heaving. He let out a grunt of pain as he was pulled up, still staring daggers at Alexander as they were berated, wishing he could have gotten another solid hit in, knowing this would probably never happen again. They were both carted down to the hospital wing to get their injuries fixed, only to be told by the matron that she would only be healing anything broken, that she wouldn’t waste her magic on ‘bumps and bruises’. Icarus wasn’t overly sure the large purple bruising trailing his jaw could classify as ‘bumps and bruises’, but he didn’t fight it, knowing it was her own way of punishing them. 

He grimaced as Icarus’s fist connected with his face again. The adrenaline was there, but the longer their fight went on, the more the pain started to permeate the haze of the rush. He pressed his lips tightly together, fighting the urge to gag as he was hit with the other male’s blood, and he hastily, wiped at his face with his sleeve, trying to get the copper-y liquid off his mouth and eyelids, feeling angry all over again. He grimaced, shoving his knee down to keep the other boy pinned, before his words fully penetrated his brain and his fist paused momentarily, inches away from colliding with his face again. Stop? Why? This was only the culmination of months and months of tension finally boiling over. “Why would you –?” He spat out, voice ragged and kind of nasally from the blood still seeping steadily from his face. His nose was probably broken, he realized dimly. Before he could question the boy further, he looked up, shaking his head to get his hair out of his eyes, and he caught sight of Rosaline, staring at them with a pinched look on her face as if she’d just been in pain. He looked at her and then back down at Icarus. “I don’t –?”

He felt a small surge of triumph at the other boy’s clear disgust as Icarus struggled under his grip, trying to get a foot under him in an attempt to throw Alexander off. He could distantly hear the shrill voice of the Hogwarts Headmistress trying to make it through the crowd to them, but that worry was at the back of his mind at the moment. His eyes darted back and forth from the boy in front of him to Rosaline, all the while fear and guilt flooding him, taking the place of his adrenaline, causing him to be painfully aware of of the aching pain in his jaw and torso. “She can feel it.” He got out through gritted teeth, propping himself up on one elbow, suppressing a grunt at the pain in his chest and back. “The bond. She can feel it.” Icarus wasn’t sure if Alex knew anything about said bond but hoped regardless he’d have enough sense to stop.

     “Wow is that your professional opinion or just an arrogant one? Really I’d love for the clarification…” Orion spoke up, remembering the familiar face during the task. Icarus’ bitterness was infectious in the sense of how it flared a confident facade in the boy—his anger over him causing Orion to speak out as if that was a normal response for the youngest Carrow. “Do you have any tact or just opting it out for sheer assery?” Orion gripped his mug of tea, eyes staring back at him, letting his mind whirl with thoughts and curse words. 

Icarus rolled his eyes, taking a swig of his drink. “Apologies that hearing someone state the obvious hurts your little feelings so much. Perhaps you should try growing up and we’ll welcome you to reality.” He tilted his head a bit, facial expression schooled into one of polite nonchalance. He was used to people being overly hurt by his bluntness but it never phased him much. If they couldn’t handle the truth, that’s not on him. He adopted a faux expression of deep thought. “I’ll go with the latter.”

When the news about the young girl’s death began to spread in the castle, she wasn’t expected everyone to remain aloof and pretend that nothing has happened. Considering how the discovery of her body was enough to set madness to the entire school, her death must’ve been another hit to everyone, especially the ones that know her personally. Lyanna went quiet over the exchange of words happening in her table, before her eyes linger on the person in front of her. A hint of purplish marks was peeking from his collar, which she manages to catch before he finally covered it from her view.

“–Well, she’s the first, wasn’t she? Of course, the chance she woke up was keeping our hope alive about the chance of the other missing students’ survival..”

“Or the fact that she is dead only solidifies the possibility that those other kids are too.” He splayed his hands out, shrugging. “Hope be damned when it clouds reality.” He knew well what he was saying was insensitive but figured someone had to be the voice of reason, regardless if that reason harsh. It wasn’t as if he wanted them to be dead, but the likelihood that they were was not something he could ignore. "Everyone around here seems overly optimistic about this whole situation.” He ran a hand lazilly through his hair. “Optimism won’t do anyone any good.”

Rosaline stayed silent for a long moment. In their childhood, she had never spent much time with Icarus’ family. Generally he took to visiting her. However, she had met his father on occasion and could attest that he was a rather terrifying man. She finally looked over to him, watching his profile as he spoke. This odd moment of vulnerability, a crack in his careful facade was what had Rosaline turning her thoughts, perhaps the boy she knew was in there somewhere. Rosa. He had not called her that in years. It was always a carefully level Rosaline. She scooted a bit closer to the other. “Just because things happened doesn’t mean you have to stop feeling.” She said quietly before hesitantly reaching out and placing her hand over his, guiding it up to place it on the animal in front of them. “Empathy…” She muttered, more to herself. Perhaps the boy she knew was in there somewhere and she would find him.

Icarus avoided eye contact at her words. He couldn’t let himself feel and he didn’t know how to make her understand that. He had long ago taken all of his vital emotions; empathy, caring, pity, and locked them up, storing them away for his own sanity. If he allowed himself to feel those things, emotions needed to make someone human, he was also allowing himself to feel everything else too; guilt, anger, bitterness, and he hadn’t figured out how to deal with those things just yet. He first had to stay alive, and to do so, he had to do what he had to do. However with Rosaline, this locked boxed seemed to spring open despite itself. Which was a large portion of why he both feared and needed her. She wouldn’t let him get away with escaping. They were silent for a long while, hands both patting the Hippogriff before he spoke. “I’m sorry.” He said almost quiet enough for her not to hear.

Alexander didn’t even have time to respond to Icarus’s earlier jab when the other male finally lost his temper, sending dishes scattering everywhere. A tiny part of him felt bad for everyone trying to just finish their meals but that part of him was drowned out by the part of him that was screaming finally. Pain burst through him as Icarus’s boot collided with his face, and yeah it hurt like a bitch, but the adrenaline rush did nothing but fuel him and he couldn’t help but shoot the other male a bloody grin as he hit the floor, his head getting knocked back against the marble floor. He was really glad his aunt didn’t get wizarding news delivered to her…he’d hate for her to hear about this, and if the whispers around them were any indication…their fight wasn’t exactly going to fly under the radar. Before Icarus could hit him again, he jammed his knee up, ramming him in the chest, and then he swung up, hitting him in the jaw with his fist, before he managed to kick the other off of him, their positions reversed. He spat some blood out of his mouth onto the floor next to him, taking another swing at Icarus’s face. “Hit me all you want, it won’t change a thing,” he spat.

He had wanted to hit Alexander for years, enduring everyday living around him since they were young. They had never gotten around to learning to be civil with one another and the events that had transpired the last few months had only heightened their hatred. Icarus grunted as pain shot through his torso and jaw. He was left winded by the other’s blow, gasping a moment for air. It seemed to only to sharpen his vision, give him more motive to sink fists into any part of the other he could reach. “Maybe not, but breaking your fucking jaw will make me feel better.” He got out through clenched teeth before the other’s fist connected with his face, causing blood to flood is mouth. He subsequently spat it in Alexander’s face. Icarus was moving to dodge any other blows when out of the corner of his eye he saw Rosaline, doubled over a bit, hand to her face and he suddenly remembered their bond. She could feel it. “STop!” He choked out, hands moving to push the other from him. 

Alexander’s mouth twisted, but he shook his head. He didn’t need to know everything. He knew Icarus, and Icarus was a jerk. “I never said she hated you. I just said she doesn’t like you. It’s different. Just because she could see the good in a dementor doesn’t change the nature of them. Like I said before, she’s too good for you, even if she tries her hardest to see something worthwhile in you that doesn’t exist.” He was about to pick up his goblet and take a drink, but then Icarus’s next words made the rage flare up within him so strongly the goblet shattered, sending shards of glass across the table as Alex dug his fingers into the table to keep himself from throwing himself across the table to strangle the other male. “We both know I’m not a squib, Dolohov, and you can call me stupid all you want but it won’t change the fact that your wife is in my bed most nights, not yours.”

“Nor does it change the fact that she may think said dementor is more worthy then say.... an idiotic ghoul with bright red hair.” Again, Icarus smiled politely. He found silently agreeing with the other. Rosaline was too good for him. Icarus was more than fully aware that she deserved someone better. Someone who didn’t have to be emotionally rehabilitated. Someone who wasn’t knee deep in beginning the next Wizarding War. But none of that mattered. They were bound, they were married, and the only thing that could change that was the death of one of them. He watched amused, as the other’s goblet shattered, causing a large pocket of people around them to turn their heads in their direction, including Rosaline, who had turned full around. Their eye contact had distracted him, eyes trained on her when the other’s words reached his ears. He didn’t even think, he swept an arm across the table, knocking dishes out of his way before climbing atop it and kicking the other square in the face watching him fall to the floor before jumping down after him, knees on either side of his torso, grabbing the other by the collar and landing a forceful punch to his jaw, fueled by all the rage he kept in for the duration of the conversation, fueled by all the jealousy and longtime hatred he felt for Alexander.

Alexander couldn’t help the smile that flickered across his face and he shrugged, returning to his meal, aiming for nonchalant as he spoke. “I don’t know why you think that’s going to bother me. I’d be embarrassed if I were you, seeing as you’ve known her for 12 years and she still can’t stand you,” he said lightly. He didn’t feel like he even had to bother to mention the fact that it was his bed she sometimes snuck into and not the other boy’s. He was certain the fact was already bothering Icarus enough that he didn’t feel the need to rub it in. “It’s been so long now that if she changed her mind I’d be worried you’d Imperiused her…or she had Stuckhold syndrome or something.” He looked back up at Icarus, and met his eyes, not even blinking as their gazes locked. “I don’t. Believe you, I mean. But I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt for her sake, not yours. I can be cordial, if I have to.”

Interestingly, the other’s jab at him didn’t make Icarus flare with anger but instead it made his eyebrows raise slightly, smirk growing a bit. “Ah, I guess she hasn’t told you everything, has she?” He tilted his head slightly to one side. Of course she hadn’t, why would she delved into their past? As he continued to speak, Icarus’ eyebrows only seemed to raise higher, smirk turning more. “I see. You think she hates me? You and I both know she isn’t capable of hate. She finds the good in everything.” Icarus’ eyes narrowed a bit. “Besides, I haven’t taken her against her will, so Stockholm Syndrome wouldn’t apply.” He raised a finger, placing an elbow on the table. “Quick question, do they teach squibs to read on farms or are you just particularly stupid?” He adopted the facial expression of someone with a simple, polite inquiry, lacing his fingers and placing his chin atop them. 

he looks up from the book he was reading, interest piqued due to the others’ statement.  “ indeed? ” he states, eyeing the other male – a familiar face but he couldn’t quite recall who. xander hums, closing his book and laying his hands on the table before him. 

“ – but i’d hate to disagree with that. ”

Icarus took another swig of his Pumpkin Juice, shrugging. “Did they not announce that they were sending her off to that hospital to die in peace? And yet, everyone around here is acting as if the girl suddenly dropped dead.” He rolled his eyes. “Ridiculous.”

Alexander couldn’t help but look back to see what had caught Icarus’s attention, smiling when he caught sight of Rosaline’s familiar head of hair. He turned back to the other boy, and shrugged. “It’s not like you’ve got room to talk. Your neck looks like you lost a fight with a vampire. Besides, it’s not my fault Rosaline would rather be in my arms than yours,” he said, shooting Icarus an overly sunny smile out of sheer spite, knowing that he would be hitting a sore spot. He tightened his grip on his fork, trying to fight the urge to stick it into Icarus’s eye. He was right, as much as it pained Alexander to admit it, even internally. To the world around them, Rosaline was a Dolohov now, with all the baggage that entailed. Instead he narrowed his eyes. “Well then you better make all the right moves, Dolohov, because we both know she’s too good for you, and if you hurt her I will bury your body somewhere that neither she, nor your absolutely despicable parents will ever find it.”

Icarus’ clenched fists were pressed firmly to the bench on either side of him, his fingernails digging half crescents into his palms. He was acutely aware of the students packed into the Hall around them, of the professors in a row at the front, gazing looking down upon them all. The other was right of course. Icarus had no right to be upset, that Rosaline was her own person, was allowed to do as she pleased, but that fact didn’t stop the hot burn of jealousy across his chest anytime the two of them were together. And it certainly didn’t stop him wanting to connect his fist with the other’s face. Instead, he adopted a strained smile on his face. “We’ll see how long that lasts. You’ve known her for five months, I’ve known her for twelve years. Don’t go getting too confident, now.” He again gave him an unimpressed once over. “You have no reason for it.”  Icarus’ eyes narrowed yet again as Alexander spoke. He leaned in a bit. “I don’t need to be told that by the likes of you. Believe it or not, I have no intention of harming her.”

A sad smile made it’s way onto her face at the memory he spoke of. It had been slightly like this. That summer was abnormally cold, the wind bit at their skin as they sat outside together with the dog they had picked out together, a Labrador named Labyrinth. The memory always made her sad. They usually spent summers at her home in Bulgaria, and it was his last day before heading off to Koldovstoretz. She had cried, a year away from going to Durmstrang. “That year before I went off to school was…. well I cried a lot. Missed you like crazy.” She said softly, looking over at him. “You have. You’re not my Icarus anymore. You’re someone totally different, someone I don’t know.” She looked at him meaningfully in the eye for a moment before speaking again. “What happened to you?”

Icarus had never thought about it before, but it seemed like the realization had just run him over. Why it had been so easy for him to slip so comfortably into feelings for her. She hadn’t changed. Not one bit. Rosaline was still the girl who refused to climb trees because she didn’t want to hurt them, the girl who put spiders outside instead of crushing them. She hadn’t changed since they were kids, and he still knew her.  But she didn’t know him. He had been turned into someone dark, someone mean, a stranger in her eyes. He carded fingers through his hair, tugging a bit on it. “I grew up Rosa. I- things happened. A lot of things and I couldn’t remain twelve and bright eyed anymore. I had to grow up.”  He said it almost imploringly, silently asking her to understand, to accept him, but he knew well she couldn’t accept him like this. 

Alexander’s fingers tightened around his cutlery, his knuckles turning white. Usually he could ignore the squib insults, but from Icarus they made him furious, especially knowing full well that they were both aware that he was nothing of the sort. His mouth curled, but he kept his voice steady when he answered. “I don’t need to sabotage your chances of entertaining. You do that well enough on your own every time you open your mouth and everyone realizes nothing worthwhile ever comes out of it.” When Icarus’s hand froze, not moving, Alexander tilted his head up to meet his eyes, daring him to try something. He couldn’t help it, part of him wished Icarus would so that he’d have a reason to rip into him with magic or with his fists, he didn’t particularly care which method he used. He leaned forward slightly, raising an eyebrow. “What if I am? What exactly are you going to do about it? And it doesn’t matter how old the ring on her finger is, or what her last name is, Rosaline will never be one of you. Not in spirit.”

The other’s reaction made Icarus’ grin widen a bit, feeling some triumph that his words had struck some chord with the other. “Nothing worthwhile has to come out of my mouth for me to use it properly if you know what I mean.” He tilted his head slightly. “Not that you would.” He leaned forward a bit, stage whispering in a patronizing way. Icarus’ gaze shifted a moment a few tables behind them, landing on the back of Rosaline’s head, eyed darkening as they flicked back to Alexander. “Or perhaps you do.” Icarus took a deep breath, willing himself not to draw his wand, or break the other male’s nose. Merlin knew he’s wanted nothing more for the past few years. The urge only strengthening in the past months as Icarus’ wife had clung to him. He scoffed, sitting back a bit. “She has to live the rest of her life with me whether she or I or you like it or not. Spirit doesn’t matter. As far as everyone else is concerned she is a Dolohov.” His voice got lower now. “And if we go down, if I do, so does she. You can’t separate us anymore. It’s a package deal these days, so If I were you, I’d stop blabbing about things you know jack shit about .” 

Alexander rolled his eyes, going back to poking at his food, irritation flaring in his chest. He bit into his chicken to keep himself from saying something vulgar, despite how much he wanted to, knowing there were first and second year Hogwarts students seated at their table too. Once he’d swallowed, he instead pushed a plate of desserts over to Icarus. “You should have a lemon tart,” he said, evenly. “They’re bitter, just like you.” The tapping of the other male’s ring against the table was starting to get on his nerves, and it took everything in him not to reach out and force him to keep his hands still. Instead he shrugged, looking down. “Well I suppose she’s lucky in a way. At least now she doesn’t have to watch your family take her sister hostage.”

Icarus kept his gaze steadily on the boy before him, swatting one hand to casually knock the plate to the side, causing the person next to him to jump slightly. “No thanks, I don’t accept food from squibs who spend their free time around farm animals. Could catch a disease.” The shit-eating-grin was still stretching his face, as he tilted his head to one side. “And we can’t have that with all the people I have to entertain.” His gaze shifted around them for a moment, his ring tapping stopping abruptly, his gaze flashing red. He stared at Alexander for a long moment, considering two extremes. His immedient desire was to hex the boy directly in the chest, but he wasn’t sure that would go over too well in such a public place. His hands tightened into fists. knuckles turning white. “Are you accusing me and my family of something, Petrov. A family that includes your ‘friend’?” He said in a low voice, an eyebrow raised, fingers air quoting around the word ‘friend’, a clear insinuation.

Rosaline fingers picked at the blades of grass peaking through the melting snow. She smiled softly at the memory, was surprised that he recalled such a small thing. They must of been about seven and nine when her mother had announced that she would be planting ‘roses for her Rosa’. It had made Icarus giggle. It was hard to connect that young boy to the one that sat next to her now. So hard she almost forgot that she had grown up with him. “You used to put bandaids on my fingers.” She mused, mostly to herself, looking down at her hands as she returned them to petting the hippogriff.

 From the age of six to eleven he had been attached at the hip to Rosaline, but he had been a child. Of course they had seen each other a couple times a year after that, but it seemed that after they went their separate ways to different schools, things had changed. “This reminds me of the summer when I left.” He remarked, quietly. It was an odd thing to say sitting in snow, bundled with jackets, but he couldn’t help but feel that the nostalgia around them was similar.  His gaze had returned briefly to her face, trailing to watch her fingers thread through dark feathers. “You haven’t changed at all.” He voiced the thought aloud, more as a realization than a statement.

Alexander looked up from where he’d been poking at a pile of mashed potatoes on his plate, meeting Icarus’s eyes. He took in the other male’s appearance, his eyes lingering at the marks on his neck, before his words truly registered and he made a face. “Charming as usual, Icarus. You should probably let her body get cold first before you start making insensitive comments about a girl that a lot of people here probably cared about.” Sure, Alexander hadn’t known Marian, but that didn’t make what had happened to her any easier to swallow. “For all we know, it could have just as easily been Vadym…or heaven forbid, Ana.”

Icarus couldn’t help but narrow his eyes at the other, expression becoming cold as he saw who spoke to him. “In my way as usual, Alexander.” He adopted a sickly smile that in no way reached his eyes. Despite being able to keep expression mostly under control, he had begun tapping his ring, annoyed, against the table, the sound muffled slightly by a newspaper. Though the conversation had a different topic entirely, Icarus couldn’t help but think about the recent incident in the hospital wing. The thought made his eyes narrow farther. “A lot of people’ does not translate to ‘me’, now does it? I have no obligation to be sensitive to random people’s feelings.” He licked his lips, ring tapping  a bit faster. “Wouldn’t that just be a tragedy.”