six visited me this weekend and we had a really lovely time. they have been very patient in hearing a lot about gideon while i recovered from that breakup, and (especially after overhearing a very circular argument i had with her on facetime), have not been a huge fan. it did not help that one of my neighbors called six “gideon” when they saw us coming in one day (they do not look alike!!! they just both wear hats and are masc!!!)
but i was having a picnic for my birthday yesterday and i invited them both, which was the first time they’ve spent time in each other’s presence since gideon crashed the fuck out about me kissing six at a party months ago.
me: just so you know, six will be at the picnic until 3:30
gideon: i thought they moved away
they were both admirably chill about it, though. gideon read my tarot cards and six looked on with interest, and even though they later disagreed with her interpretation in a text, they also told me that it was interesting and informative to see me interact with gideon in person, and that she clearly cares for me a lot. “i love you and when you love other people i think that means i love them a little bit too,” they said.
i told gideon this later and i think it soothed some of her worries about six. she wanted to know if the fact that i dated them so quickly after her meant that i never loved her, and i told her no, not at all.
then she told me she’s been dating the very pretty goth femme i saw her with at a party this weekend. surprisingly, i wanted to hear all about it. this girl is drop-dead gorgeous, very chill energy, feels strongly about femmes being protectors. she’s very into video games, something gideon loves that i could never connect with her on. they like the same tv shows and music. this girl is trying to be a professional musician; she has a manager and an agent and a spotify profile. she works in perfume for her day job. they have similar upbringings and trauma. and she’s very very into gideon; when gideon mentioned she might have to move states, this girl was like, “i’ll get on a plane.”
so far, the only thing they don’t have in common is that this girl is not especially experienced in kink. she’s interested in gideon’s knives and understands that she’s a switch, but she’s never dommed anyone. gideon told me “i’m scared i’ll never find the type of dynamic you and i had. i’m scared i’ll never feel safe with her like i felt with you.”
and i mean i don’t know if this girl can do it but i feel certain she will at least try. the sex is apparently great aside from that, and she was very down, hypothetically, for the Gideon Experience(tm). gideon said “i’m scared to let her try. i belonged to you for real, and it was really hard to lose that. i don’t know how many more belongings i have in me.”
and i told her that’s the whole point of life. to risk it all, over and over. you should risk it a little with this girl, i said. even if it doesn’t work out—i mean, you will find it again. it took you only a few months to get with a girl who looks like the hex girls and is hotter and more goth than me. gideon laughed and said you guys are equally hot, and i said don’t lie. and we hugged and she cried.
i’m really proud of her. and of six, and of me. i’m so lucky to be so loved.
