summary: benjamin poindexter does not believe in fate. he believes in structure, routine, and predictability. but then, he meets you. his new next door neighbor.
pairing: benjamin poindexter x f!reader
content/warnings: 18+ (mdni), mentions of PTSD/OCD/schizophrenia/anxiety, medications, coping mechanisms (fairly healthyâŠfor now), obsessive behavior, canon divergent, no use of y/n
word count: 2.3k
A/N: wow. my first fanfic written and published in over 6 years!! actually insane. iâve been lurking on Tumblr recently and rediscovered the absolute goldmine of works that i had forgotten existed since like 2014 (lol). iâve read works from so many amazing authors here who reignited my love for reading and being a part of creative spaces, and in turn finally felt that desire to write again for fun <3 also introduced me to this deranged blonde man who bewitched me heart and soul and pussy fr. this is all to say apologies if this is a bit crusty, iâm still dusting off the olâ keyboard and getting back into it. iâm planning that this will be a mutli-part series that i regularly update, but full disclaimer that other responsibilities may get the best of me!! also apologies for the lack of action in this chapter, i promise x100 itâs on the way. anyways, hope you enjoy and i hope i can keep creating :-)
Benjamin L. Poindexter did not believe in fate.Â
No, he did not. Because in order for fate to inhabit this world, that would mean there would have to be something higher than man. Something that created the structure the little lives below were meant to follow. A higher being would imply the existence of God, or Yahweh, or Brahma, or whatever deity man chose to worship. And God, in turn, implied that there is a distinction between good and bad.Â
Unfortunately, nobody had ever bothered to explain the difference to Dex.Â
Other people claimed to know, like priests or teachers or politicians when they had a point to prove. They could preach and teach and debate all they wanted, but it justâŠnever made sense.Â
If good and bad were as clearly defined as everyone insisted, then somebody should have been able to explain, really explain it by now.
Nobody ever had.
SoâŠthat must have meant that there was no God. And that meant there was no higher being. And no higher being, of course, meant no fate.Â
For a long time, Dex was content with that explanation. He didnât need theology or karma or the cosmos to keep him going. What he needed was routine. Structure. Rules. Baseball, once. Mercer. Then the Army. And now, the FBI.Â
What could be more ordered than working in bureaucracy? There were procedures, badges, clearance levels, dress codes⊠It was, in theory, exactly the sort of environment a 33 year-old man with a multitude of mental health disorders should find for himself.Â
And the best part about it was that it worked.Â
The paperwork, the filings, the endless codebooks and all the cogs of a federal interagency machine churning, it kept thingsâŠquiet. Subdued, even. Yes, Dex still had his moments. Times where the federally-issued gun felt too heavy in his hand. When he would pass by a bar on his way home and overhear the crack of a bat and the rise of a commentatorâs voice from a television inside. When the aripiprazole would take a bit longer to kick in and memories of Mercerâs voice felt closer than just a fragment of his mind.Â
But the system always brought him back. Because no matter what, he knew what the next day held. Wake up, morning jog, coffee, newspaper, badge, suit, commute, work, home, exercise, shower, dinner, television, meds, sleep, repeat.Â
It was good for him. Good for who he was.Â
What he was.Â
This is all to say, that no, Benjamin Poindexter did not believe in fate because he had no need for it. It was not needed to explain, or justify, or defend.Â
He did not believe in fate.Â
Until August 9th, 2018.
8:37 PM.
Yes, Dex remembered the time. What type of man would he be if he forgot? He wouldnât. Couldnât.Â
It was hot outside that day. So hot that he had considered not taking the subway after work for how crowded and smelly and sweaty he knew it would be (he took the train anyway. Detours from routine had a tendency to create problems.). So hot that by the time he had arrived at his apartment building, perspiration had glued the fabric of his white button-down to the middle of his back. So hot that he wondered if he should turn the fan on when he got into his apartment (but what if the force was too strong and it knocked off the papers on the coffee table like it had last week? Not acceptable.).Â
Dex was so deep in heat-agitated contemplation that he nearly missed the stack of boxes outside the apartment across his. It wasnât until he put his key in the door of unit 415 that he recognized there was something behind him.Â
He turned.Â
Boxes. Cardboard. Stacked neatly against the wall, like they were waiting for their turn in line.Â
And more than that, there wasâŠmusic? Piano. Saxophone. Jazz, he thought. Something slowly flowing out of the cracked open door to apartment 416.Â
He paused, key still stuck in the doorknob.Â
A new neighbor, then.Â
No one had told him anyone was moving in. He corrected himself. No one needed to tell him, it justâŠwould have been nice. New neighbors meant new information, new routines. New personalities to deal with.Â
The old resident of 416 was a twenty-something year-old named Casey who worked somewhere in finance. JP Morgan, maybe. Dex didnât like him. Not just because he left trash in the hallway or he talked too much if they happened to ride the elevator together. It was more than that.
Casey had a complete lack of consistency. His schedule was erratic. One day he would be out the door by 7:23 AM, clad in his yuppie suit and tie, yapping on the phone while chugging an energy drink. The next day he wouldnât emerge from the apartment. Then the day after that, music and drunken laughter or yelling from his equally-as-annoying friends would blast out of the apartment from dusk til dawn.Â
So yes, maybe it was a blessing that Casey was gone, because in a way, his behavior and whatever semblance of a routine (if you could even call it that) was stressful to Dex. But he had gotten used to Casey. Change was hard.Â
Looking at the open door, the boxes on the hallway floor, Dex could feel that familiar tightness spreading across his chest.Â
No.
He turned away and forced himself into his own apartment, closing and locking the door behind him. He couldnât hear the jazz anymore. Dex closed his eyes.
Breathe in, breathe out.Â
InâŠand out.
His eyes opened. He clenched his fists, and then unclenched them. He did it again. Once more, for good measure.Â
Okay. It was fine. He was fine.Â
Change is inevitable, he reminded himself. Everything would be fine. His routine would remain. A new neighbor would not derail what time he woke up, or took the train, or how he made coffee in the morning, or what stretches he did before working out. Yes, that was all correct.Â
One more deep breath, andâŠsilence. The feeling had passed.Â
Dex nodded to himself in confirmation, and went about the rest of his evening.Â
The nightâs routine was, for the most part, unaffected. Dex changed out of the sweat-damp button-down, put the laundry in the hamper. He stretched in front of the window. The workout was the same as always. Thirty pull-ups on the bar mounted on the bathroom doorway. One hundred push-ups after. Then one hundred situps. Afterwards, he let himself sit in silence, feeling the ache in his muscles and allowed himself to catch his breath for approximately six minutes. And then he got up, showered, changed, and started dinner. Salmon in the airfryer, bag of rice in the microwave, because it was Tuesday.
It was only after dinner, in between washing dishes and before watching TV (local news first, then one episode of a sitcom rerun) that the routine altered.Â
There was a knock at the door.Â
Dex paused at the kitchen sink, sponge in one hand and plate in the other.Â
Another knock. Timid-like.Â
He turned off the faucet, put the sponge and dish down. Wiped his hands on the dish towel. Walked to the door, and slowly looked into the peephole.Â
The fisheye lens revealed a young woman, probably close to his age or a few years younger. She was holding something (a plate, maybe?), shifting back and forth on her feet. Chewing on her lip, she looked behind herself at apartment 416.Â
Unusual circumstances for a Tuesday night.Â
His years at Quantico would tell Dex he probably shouldnât open the door to strangers. Especially strangers holding an unknown object. But a woman knocking on his apartment door at night was not a typical circumstance, or at least one that the Bureau or Riveria or Lyndhurst or Fort Moore had prepared him for.
So, he unlatched the deadbolt, unlocked the knob, and opened the door.Â
It was you.Â
He blinked. You blinked back.Â
âI, umâŠâ you stopped yourself, and then smiled. âHi.â
Dex blinked again. You looked at him, smile faltering only slightly. Your gaze flicked downward briefly before returning to his face. Shifting on your feet, you craned your neck to look behind him. Were you trying toâŠlook into his apartment? Why?
âSorry, I uhâŠI didnât mean to interrupt anything, I justââ
âNo,â Dex interjected suddenly. The word left his mouth before he could stop it. His voice continued, sounding distant, like someone else was talking. âNo, youâre not⊠Youâre not interrupting anything.â
âOh! Thatâs good. Thatâs, umâŠâ you paused, then shook your head and laughed nervously. What was funny? âSorry, I justâ wait, let me just start over. I was moving all today and am just, like, totally discombobulated right now.â
You took a breath, then straightened yourself up and presented the plate in your hands. It was covered in tinfoil. You were still smiling as you shared your name.Â
âI just moved in,â you gestured behind yourself. Apartment 416. âI wanted to introduce myself to the hall, so I thought I would make some cookies, but I got caught up in all the boxes, of course, and so by the time I actually got around to the cookies and had them ready, it was like, way too late to be running up and down the hall, banging on peopleâs doors like a crazy person soâŠâÂ
You looked down at the plate again, then did a little shrug. âI figured the person right across the hall was probably the most important one to win over, soâŠhere I am, and I guess you get all the cookies to yourself!â
You laughed nervously again, and then waited, cookie platter presented.Â
Dex looked at the plate, and then back at you.Â
Silence.Â
You cleared your throat. âTheyâreâŠchocolate chip. In case you wereâŠwondering.â
Dex knew what the regular response to this should be. He watched enough television and movies to know at this point, he should take the platter, spare you the confusion as to why your new neighbor was so socially inept, thank you for the kind gesture, and introduce himself. He justâŠhis brain wasnât working, for some reason. Nobody had ever brought cookies to apartment 415 before. He didnât have the manual for this.Â
The silence was seeming to unnerve you. You continued speaking, hands tightening slightly around the covered plate.Â
âIf you donât like chocolate chip, orâ or if youâre allergic to dairy or gluten, which, God that would be so me to give a new neighbor anaphylactic shock on my first day in a new apartment, I couldââ
In the moment, Dexâs mind finally connected nerve-endings and he found his voice once again. âNo, IâI like chocolate chip. Iâm notâŠallergic.â
His hands made their way from the door to the plate. It was still warm when he took it from you. âThank you.â
You seemed more than relieved that your new neighbor was not selectively mute. A bright smile had returned to your face. âYeah, of course! I love to bake. Itâs hard to find the time to do it, especially nowadays with my work, but I actually used to want to own a cake shop when I was younger, like, I was obsessed with Cake Boss, but then I went to college andââ You stopped yourself, and let out a small laugh again. Why did you laugh so much? Your cheeks had gone pink at this point. âIâm sorry, I have the tendency to ramble a lot. Anyways, I just wanted to introduce myself. Sorry itâs so late. I promise I donât have a habit of banging on peopleâs doors at night and shoving baked goods in their face.â
âItâs okay.â
You nodded, looking a little relieved to almost be done with the encounter. You glanced down at the cookies in his hands, and then at his face again. âWellâŠI wonât keep you anymore. Iâm sure Iâll see you around!â
You turned, walked three steps to apartment 416, and looked over your shoulder at him as you opened your door. âHave a good night!â
Dex watched as you slipped into the apartment. Only once the door closed behind you did he return back into apartment 415. He put the locks back into place. Set the plate on the countertop, then peeled the tinfoil back. The plate was green, like the color of a frog. Atop it sat six chocolate chip cookies, each one nearly identical to the next. He took one, and bit into it.Â
It was good.Â
He took another bite, and then another. The cookie was gone.Â
He placed the tinfoil back onto the frog-colored plate, and gently pushed it into the middle of the counter.Â
Dex looked at the clock above the stove. It was 8:37 PM.Â
He let the remainder of the evening unfurl as it should have. He watched the evening news where the anchor droned on about ongoing city council budget disputes and a robbery in Midtown. After that, he flicked through stations until he landed on a rerun of some 90s sitcom he had already watched twelve times before.Â
Afterwards, he brushed his teeth, took his prazosin and aripiprazole, flicked off the lights in the apartment, double-checked the stove was off, triple-checked the door locks, and finally made his way into the bed.Â
As he lay in the sheets, staring at the ceiling and listening to the distant sirens that never seemed to stop in New York City, he reflected. Not on train time schedules like he usually did before he attempted sleep, or bureau mandated procedural sequences. Calm things, routine things.Â
Instead, Benjamin L. Poindexter thought about chocolate chip cookies.Â
He thought about the frog-colored plate sitting centered on his kitchen countertop.Â
He thought about you, with your pink cheeks and nervous laugh.Â
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inspired by one of the greatest songs ever aka : family tree - ethel cain
tags: descriptions of gore and blood, angst, hurt/comfort, explicit sexual content, injured!dex, handjob (m receiving), dry humping, unprotected p-in-v (pls wrap it up), praise and edging (both receiving), dex being a desperate p*rv (contractually-obligatory), dacryphilia, c0ckwarming, fluff
requested by anonymous. original request linked here! thank u eternally for requesting!!
summary: benjamin poindexter is on the run from the avtf and lands a bloody mess in the side alley of the reader's building. in a shocking stroke of luck, you are quite the good samaritan and take him in. âȘ
it was approaching midnight as you were returning to your apartment from your long shift at work. the night breeze was cool against your face as the city lights illuminated your path.
your steps slowed when a rattle came from the alley just next to your building. a gurgling cough followed, and you couldn't stop yourself from looking, intrigued when you saw a pair of legs sticking out from behind the dumpster. you approached with caution and pepper spray, but lowered it immediately upon seeing how bloodied and beaten the stranger below you was.
you figured he was in his mid-to late thirties, built like a weapon. his face was torn to shreds, oozing with every wince he made. similarly, with each breath, he was wheezing slightly. his blue uniform, that covered his entire top half except for his eyes, was stained with blood in several areas. the worst was on his right side where he was clutching himself to stem the bleeding, gritting his teeth in pain.
you knew he was dying.
so you made the split-second decision to take him into your apartment. this was a complicated affair, granted that he was approximately double your size in terms of muscle mass, so getting him off of the ground was terrifically difficult. after bending his knees, much to his chagrin, and stepping on his boots to keep him balanced, you took the stranger's outstretched hand and hoisted him to his feet. he groaned, dribbling blood and spit from his lips as he leaned most of his weight on your much-smaller frame. you were beyond thankful you had started going back to the gym as a new years' resolution.
it was truly a miracle that you got him up to your apartment without falling. you had to go back down later with a rag and wipe up the trail of blood on the floor, though.
you took the bloodied, masked man into your bathroom, switching on the overhead light to see him more clearly. when you did, your breath hitched.
"hoping for daredevil?" he bristled, deeply uncomfortable beneath your scrutiny.
your brows narrowed, confused. "what? no."
your voice was like honey. he didn't quite know what to do with this. why were you helping him?
you opened the cabinet and pulled out an extensive first-aid kit, rolling up your sleeves. "alright, we need to get those cleaned and stitched up before you bleed the fuck out. will you let me help you?"
the stranger let out a laugh. "will i let you save my life?"
"consent's important," you replied. "gotta peel that," you gestured to his entire uniform, including the leather suit with the signature bullseye on his forehead, belts to store knives and guns, "off."
a beat passed and the electrical charge of the air changed.
"i have clothes that can fit you, don't worry."
dex wasn't sure if "worry" was exactly the correct term for what he was feeling. he let out a sharp exhale, and with his unoccupied hand, removed his mask.
"oh, hi," you introduced yourself sheepishly, blushing under his intense gaze. that, and the fact that he was incredibly handsome. it was then that you realized who he was, but it wasn't going to change what you were doing. he needed help now.
"hi," dex breathed, reading that you'd recognized him, dropping the mask to the ground, immobile.
you approached him the way you would a stray animal, hands raised. "may i?"
dex nodded, yet he still appeared apprehensive of you. you started with the belts, easing them off his torso. his hazel eyes tracked every one of your movements as you unclasped the hook at the top of his uniform and began to unzip it down his muscular back. you peeled the fabric forward gently, pulling it over his unfairly broad shoulders toward you. dex hissed at the pain, having caught on a wound you hadn't seen.
"shit, i'm so sorry, there's no easy way to do thisâ"
"'s okay."
resolve churned in your pretty eyes when you looked back up at him. tenacious. he liked it.
you continued, taking dex's gloves off his large hands before you stripped the fabric further down, revealing meaty biceps and a built, wounded chest. you'd admire him if he wasn't so caked in grime and blood.
your eyes landed on the gash in his sideâto which he now held a clothâwidening in horror. "jesus christ."
your hands hovered a few inches away from his belt buckle. there was a wound on his left leg, you knew that much from his limping.
dex whispered your name and it felt intimate on his tongue. your lashes flicked up to him and he swore his heart stuttered, nodding. your hand was undoing his buckle and dex's head was spinning. he watched you religiously as you stripped his combat pants off, mindfully avoiding his wound. you'd made him kick off his boots as soon as he'd gotten into your apartment, so all he was left in were his black briefs as he loomed over you. maybe if he hadn't lost so much blood, he could've found it within himself to be embarrassed.
"need to clean you up," you said softly, gesturing to the first-aid supplies. dex agreed, not shocked when you were able to thread the needle with little-to-no difficulty. you reached for the 97% isopropyl alcohol first.
the giant gash had to be treated first, of course. you apologized sincerely for how terribly this whole ordeal was about to hurt him and dex thought that made you a good person. he slammed his hand into the wall, hissing through his teeth when you pressed the cloth soaked in alcohol against the wound. wiping the blood away from the edges of his flesh, you tried not to think about the length of the knife that could have done this.
dex clenched his torn fist as you pinched the sliced muscle together, previously-threaded needle piercing him with haste. he swore and grounded himself in the pain, teeth pulling his bottom lip between them harshly, certainly drawing more blood. he studied your beautiful face, so focused on saving his life with your furrowed brow.
the pull of the string through his skin was awful but necessary, the pain of it suddenly reminding him just how long it had been since someone had touched him like this. firm, but gracious. maybe never, he realized.
dex begins to fill with shame as his mind races. you pierce him again and he inhales sharply, giving you a quick nod to continue as he can feel himself hardening in his briefs. your warm fingers on his body feel foreign and heavenly. he's trembling when you finally finish the stitch, half-hard and strung out. you tidied your work, snipping off the excess string and wiping off any further blood.
you moved to the next incision near his left shoulder, gently washing his torso with a cloth as you did so. dex breathed heavy as he watched you through hooded eyes, aching with need. you repeated the same steps and dex lost himself in it, throbbing against the briefs that separated him from your thigh.
"fuck, i'mâ," his throat was dry, so he swallowed thickly. it didn't help.
"you'reâŠwhat?"
he wanted to cry.
"'m sorry." his hazel eyes darted down to his erection, guilty. "you're just..pretty."
"oh," you gasped, a stunning smile touching your lips. desire pooled low like lava in your abdomen, pussy soaking through your panties. grinning, you pressed a chaste kiss to his clean chest. "'s okay, honey. 's natural, it's okay."
he threw his head back and moaned wantonly, cock jumping. you finished your stitches quicker this time, cleaning him, before shifting to care for his bloodied face. the tenderness of your touch was intoxicating. dex found himself closing his eyes, slowly rocking his hips against you, sighing through his straight nose in contentment.
"ben?"
"mm?"
"gonna let me take care of that one on your leg too?"
dex groaned in response, nearly choking on air when he watched you sink to your knees in front of him. this was a simple bullet graze so you wasted no time in getting to work. you kept the same laser-focused intensity as last time, though now with a scorching heat in your cheeks under his scrutiny.
by the time you'd finished fixing dex's wounds with the proper gauze, he was whining your name, leaning on the counter for support to stand. you peered up at him from the floor, curious.
"please."
dex wasn't quite sure what he was begging for, but he could have wept in victory when you'd taken his hand and stood. something told him you knew exactly what he needed, so he followed you like the needle on a compass into your arms, into your bedroom, onto your bed, beneath you.
you giggled, planting a kiss on his lips. "'s okay, i got you. just gonna make you feel good, okay?"
he whined back into the kiss, nodding. you reached down and wrapped your delicate fingers around his girthy cock, feeling the weight of it in your hands. he twitched in your hold, moaning lowly as you began to jerk him off, squeezing his bulbous head, mixing the gathering pre-cum with your spit as lube. your cunt was sopping now, dripping your juices onto his thighs below.
you lined yourself up and sank down upon him, weeping into dex's mouth. you rocked your hipsâyou couldn't help it, you were just so needy. slowly, inch by inch, dex's thick length filled you, tip caressing the brim of you.
"f-fuck, baby," you whispered against his lips, and it had dex on fire. he was throbbing inside you, walls gripping him within an inch of his life as you gently began riding him.
dex had to think about some pretty sick shit to not cum right then and there.
after a whorish roll of your hips, dex whined. "fuck, i like that."
"yeah?" you did it again. "feels good, honey?"
he swallowed thickly, nodding uncontrollably. you leaned in, meeting his lips in a searing kiss. your fingernails left moon-shaped crescents in the slabs of his pecs, gripping him firm while you bounced up and down on his cock. dex hit deep inside you, stretching your gummy walls deliciously.
"wanna hear you, dex," you mumbled against him, moaning freely as you threw your head back. his hips' pace stuttered, slowing his movements inside you lest he finish too early.
dex planted hands the size of baseball gloves on your thighs and slowly fucked you on his cock. the new position added perfect pressure to your clit. a desperate moan fell from dex's pink, puffy lips, as he blinked up at you, dazed.
"'s warm," he groaned.
you nodded, letting out an "mhm".
dex choked on a breath, eyes flickering to where your bodies joined, wet and aching. "fuck. need this pussy, sweetheart. 's all mine, right?"
a grin lit up your radiant face. "make it yours, then."
dex chuckled for the first time in what felt like forever, in genuine joy. you kept your sinful pace, gliding up and down on his length as the tension in your core was building. he captured your lips between his in a bruising kiss as you matched each others' pace and swallowed each others' moans.
he must have read the pattern in your breathing, because dex relentlessly, steadily fucked you while you ground your sensitive clit on him.
"'m close, fuck," you whimpered.
"yeah?"
you nodded pathetically, nearly in tears from the stimulation.
"yeah, honey?" dex's voice shook as he spoke. "gonna cum all over me?"
your cheeks flamed in humiliation and a sob escaped your lips. but you couldn't stop riding him â not when it felt this good.
he barked a laugh when you nodded again. his right hand came up to rest against your cheek and you covered it with your own, interlacing your fingers.
"shit, 'm cumming, baby," you breathed.
you cried out, falling against dex's shoulder and sinking your teeth into the muscle there, avoiding any injuries. he gasped, cock twitching inside you. the pain was so erotic, dex had a hard time controlling his groans. a new wave of wetness as your cum gushed around his cock.
"mm, me too, pretty girl."
dex saw stars. he pulsed inside you, veins dragging against your sinewy walls, eyes rolling back and closing tight. his hot cum filled your perfect cunt, the excess dripping down your velvety thighs whenever dex thrusted again.
as your gasps and sighs slowed, you settled into dex's relaxing form, tucking your head under his chin as you lay on his chest. you inhaled deeply. he smelled of sweat, rain, gun oil, and a bit of fabric softener. by tracing nonsense patterns on his scarred skin, you were unknowingly putting dex's thoughts to rest and lulling him to sleep.
within minutes, he was out like a light, his arm a dead weight around your waist, snuggling you to him. with not much else to do, you smiled, planted a goodnight kiss to his chest, and readjusted to comfortably rest on his warm, large body.
a/n: hey again sexies! (dexies?) this took entirely tew long to write, but i was...como se dice "motivated" by those new ddba stils....so here we are. need this man so bad it's getting to be something insane. wow.
pls lmk your thoughts! and as always, asks and requests r opennn! :)
xoxo, b
poindextergirlâą 2026. do not feed my work into ai, repost, or translate my work. reblogs are very much appreciated! â±
Summary: Better to be a dead bird than to be a flea in a jar. C.w: Kidnapping/captivity, psychological manipulation, unhealthy attachment, violence, gun violence, blood/injury, implied murder, stalking/surveillance, panic attacks, emotional dependency, dissociation, morally disturbing behavior, toxic romance dynamics.Â
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â°â°âŻââčMasterlistâ°â°âŻââč
Clothes.
You need clothes.
Something warm.
Somethingâ
Your hand lands on it.Â
Mint green.
 The dress.Â
For a moment, everything else in the room blurs at the edgesâthe open safe, the low voices behind you.
Your fingers tighten around the fabric.
Itâs lighter than you remember.
Too light for this weather. Too thin for outside. Youâd thought that the moment you first held itâhow it wasnât meant for streets or wind or cold. Not really.
Not beyond these walls.
At least he got the color right.
Mint green.
You pull it free.
The fabric shifts softly in your hands, and just like thatâ
youâre somewhere else.
Not here.
Not this room.
Tile.
Cool, pale mint tile lining a wall, glossy under dim yellow light. You remember standing small in a room that smelled faintly of perfume and powder. Your mother in front of a mirror, fixing her lipstick, the soft click of the tube, the careful drag of color across her mouth.
Jazz drifting in from somewhere distantâmuffled through walls, through laughter that didnât belong to you.
You remember staring at the tiles.
Not her.
Not the people outside.
Just the color.
How it caught the light.
How it felt⊠calm.
Your grip on the dress tightens without you noticing.
The present slips for a second longer than it should.
Thenâ
voices.
Low.
Urgent.
Real.
They cut through the memory cleanly.
You blink.
The room snaps back into place.
The safe.
The men.
The clock ticking somewhere you canât see.
You exhaleâquiet, almost soundlessâand quickly fold the dress. The movement is sharper now. Controlled. You push it into your bag without ceremony, without letting yourself linger.
Your gaze lifts againâ
and catches.
On the jacket.
Brown leather.
Hanging where it always is.
Worn into itself with time.
Your fingers reach out before you fully think about it, brushing lightly over the surface.
The texture catches immediately beneath your skin.
Rough.
Not polished. Not preserved carefully the way expensive things usually are. The leather is softened in places from years of wear, creased deep along the sleeves and shoulders, cracked faintly near the cuffs. Sun-faded across the top where light must have hit it over and over again.
Used.
Lived in.
Real in a way almost nothing else in this apartment feels.
Your hand lingers there.
And you remember asking about it once.
One of the quieter afternoons.
No tension. No careful probing. No fear sitting between the two of you like a third person in the room.
Just curiosity.
Dex had been sitting in the living room, cleaning one of his guns while you folded laundry beside him. You remembered noticing the jacket draped over the back of the chair and asking why he kept wearing that one when he owned newer coats.
At first, he hadnât answered.
Not because he was hiding anything.
Just thinking.
Then he said, flatly, âI got it when I was in Virginia.â
Military training.
Eighteen. Nineteen. Somewhere around there.
He told you about Friday nights sometimes.
How a few of the men from his bunk would sneak off base and disappear into small roadside bars outside town. Dusty places with warped floors and old yellow lightbulbs hanging overhead.
âThe lights were dim,â he had said quietly, eyes still fixed on the gun in his hands. âNot dark. Just⊠not bright enough to see the corners properly.â
You remembered smiling faintly at that description.
Because of course that was what he noticed.
Not the music.
Not the drinking.
Not the girls.
The corners.
âThe other guys liked it there,â he continued. âGirls. Noise. Beer.â
A pause.
âI mostly watched.â
And you believed him immediately.
You could picture it too easily.
Young Dex sitting in the corner booth half-hidden in yellow light, silently studying people while everyone else laughed too loud around him.
Watching the way people leaned into conversations. The way drunk men exaggerated confidence. The way women smiled when they wanted something. The way groups formed and dissolved naturally without effort.
Observing.
Learning.
Trying to understand something everyone else seemed born already knowing.
Dex had told you he liked watching people interact.
Not because he enjoyed being with them.
Because he liked figuring them out.
âThe older guys used to wear jackets like this,â he said eventually, glancing toward the leather coat. âBiker types. Veterans.â
His fingers had paused briefly against the gun.
âThey looked bigger in them.â
Stronger.
Confident in that careless sort of way some men carried naturally.
The kind of confidence that entered a room before they did.
âSo I bought one.â
Simple as that.
You remembered looking over at him then.
âAnd did it work?â
Dex had gone quiet for a moment.
Thinking seriously about the answer.
Not performing one.
âNo.â
Plain. Certain.
No embarrassment attached to it. No shame.
Just honesty.
Then, after a beat:
âBut I liked the jacket.â
Your thumb presses lightly now into one of the worn cracks near the sleeve.
You can almost see him at nineteen standing in front of some scratched motel mirror trying the jacket on for the first time, hoping maybe confidence was something a person could wear into themselves.
Trying to become bigger than whatever hollow thing followed him everywhere.
Your fingers curl slightly around the leather.
And you thinkâ
you like the jacket too.
More than anything else here.
You pull it off the hanger.
The weight settles over your shoulders as you slip it on. Heavier than the dress. Warmer. The lining cool at first, then slowly adjusting to your skin.
It smells faintly of him.
Not strong.
Just enough.
For a secondâ
just a secondâ
you let yourself feel it.
The weight.
The familiarity.
The illusion of something steadier than what this is.
Then the voices rise again behind youâsharper this time, words you canât quite catch but urgency you can.
And the moment breaks.
Clean.
You adjust the jacket once, grounding yourself in the movement.
Then your gaze finally lands half open safely.
Half-shadowed.
Waiting.
Insideâ
the guns.
Lined up.
Cold.
Still.
Your eyes fix on them.
You hesitate.
Would you need it?
Across the room, the two men are talkingâlow voices, urgent, already planning the next move. Focused on each other. On what comes next.
Not on you.
Would you need it?
The question lingers.
Unanswered.
Dex isnât supposed to still be here.
The office has already thinned outâlights dimmed in sections, voices quieter, the end-of-day lull settling inâbut someone dropped a file on his desk ten minutes before he could leave, and now it sits open in front of him like a deliberate inconvenience.
He stares at it.
Doesnât read.
His jaw tightens.
Heâd said he would bring something back tonight.
Cake.
Nothing complicatedâjust something small, something right. Heâd pictured it already: the way youâd look up when he walked in, the shift in your expression, the way it would land.
Predictable.
Good.
Nowâ
delayed.
His fingers tap once against the desk. Stop. Start again.
Irritation builds fast in him, sharp and directionless.
He exhales through his nose and reaches for his phone.
Just a glance.
A habit now.
The camera app opens without him needing to think about it. A flick of his thumb, a practiced motionâ
The feed loads.
For a second, it doesnât register.
The shapes are wrong.
Too many.
Movement where there shouldnât be.
His eyes narrowâ
and then it clicks.
He freezes.
There are people in the apartment.
Not shadows.
Not a trick of light.
People.
Nadeem.
Recognition hits firstâimmediate, unmistakable.
Andâ
someone else.
Masked.
Dexâs body goes still in a way that looks like control but isnât.
His gaze sharpens, scanning the frame with sudden, violent precision.
Whereâ
There.
You.
On the floor.
Nadeem crouched in front of you, something in his handsâmetalâstriking, again, againâ
Your ankle.
The chain.
The safeâ
open.
Wide open.
Something in Dexâs chest tightens too fast to name.
His breath stutters, then comes back harder.
Louder.
The office around him dulls instantly, sound dropping away like someone cut the volume out of the world.
Thereâs a high, thin buzz in its place.
Building.
His grip tightens around the phone, knuckles whitening.
He watches another secondâone more hit, one more movement, the masked man shifting near the closetâ
Close to you.
Too close.
Dex stands up so abruptly his chair skids back against the floor.
The sound turns heads.
He doesnât notice.
Doesnât look.
Doesnât explain.
The phone stays in his hand, the image burned into him now, replaying faster than the screen can keep up.
Men.
In his apartment.
Touching whatâs his.
The safe open.
Youâ
leaving.
The thought hits wrong.
Not fully formed.
Just impact.
His breathing turns uneven, sharper at the edges. The buzz in his head spikes, louder now, almost drowning everything else out.
No.
No.
No.
He moves.
Fast.
Out of the office, past desks, past people who call his nameâvoices he doesnât hear, faces he doesnât see.
The hallway stretches, compresses, disappears beneath him.
There is only one point now.
One direction.
Home.
The sound of metal being hammered echoes too loudly in the room.
Nadeem draws back, breath already uneven, and brings the hammer down again against the chain wrapped tight around your ankle. The impact jolts through your leg, up your spine. You grip the length he told you to hold with the pliers, fingers shaking, trying to keep it steady.
âGodââ he exhales under his breath, frustration bleeding through. âThis thing is solid.â
Another hit. Sparks donât fly, but it feels like they should.
Across the room, the masked manâalready moving, already searchingâhas gone quiet.
Not the quiet of thinking.
The quiet of listening.
His head tilts slightly, just enough that you notice it even through the blur of everything else.
Thenâ
he stills.
ââheâs here.â
The words donât rise. They drop.
Heavy.
Certain.
Your body goes cold.
Nadeem freezes mid-motion. âWaitâwhat?â
No answer.
The masked man is already moving, fastâcrossing the room, reaching the window, glancing out only long enough to confirm something you canât see.
âFront door,â he says. âHeâs coming up.â
The hallway.
The hallway.
Your stomach drops.
Nadeem swears under his breath, panic threading into it now. âWe canât leave her like thisâheâll knowââ
âWeâre not leaving her.â
The masked manâs voice cuts through, sharp, decisive.
He gesturesâquick, preciseâtoward Nadeemâs holster.
For a second, Nadeem just stares at him.
ThenââYouâve got to be kidding meââ
âDo it.â
There isnât time to argue.
Not really.
Nadeem sucks in a breath, looks at youâjust for a secondâand something apologetic flickers there.
âCover your ears.â
You donât even have time to react.
The gunshot explodes through the room.
Itâs louder than anything youâve ever heardâtoo loud, too closeâthe sound slamming into you, tearing through your skull, leaving nothing but a high, piercing ring in its wake.
The chain jerks violently against your ankle.
It doesnât snap.
But it cracks.
A jagged fracture splitting through the metal where the bullet struck.
âHold stillâhold stillââ Nadeem mutters, already dropping the gun, grabbing the weakened chain with both hands.
He yanks.
Onceâ
twiceâ
The metal gives with a harsh, tearing sound.
It breaks.
Your breath catchesâbut you barely feel it, barely register it, because everything is moving now.
Too fast.
âGo.â
Nadeemâs hand clamps around your armânot gentle, not carefulâjust firm enough to move you.
You stumble as he pulls you up, your body lagging behind your mind, ears still ringing, balance off, vision unfocused.
The masked man is already at the window, pushing it open.
Cold air floods in.
âMove,â he snaps.
You donât remember deciding to climb.
You donât remember how your hands find the frame, how your foot clears the ledge, how your body follows.
Only that suddenlyâ
youâre outside.
Metal under your palms.
Cold biting into your skin.
The fire escape rattles under the weight of all of you, the city air sharp and loud and wrong after the suffocating quiet of the apartment.
Behind youâ
the front door slams open.
You donât see it.
But you hear it.
That soundâ
final.
Heâs here.
âGo, goââ Nadeem urges, half pulling, half guiding you up the narrow steps, your legs barely keeping pace, your thoughts scattered and lagging behind your body.
Thenâ
something whistles through the air.
Fast.
Sharp.
It slams into the railing beside you with a violent crack.
Glass shatters outward.
You flinch hard, a sound ripping out of your throat before you can stop it, instinct folding you inward as fragments scatter across the metal grating.
Another oneâ
strikes just past Nadeemâs shoulder.
Too close.
Too precise.
Not random.
Aimed.
âKeep moving!â Nadeem shouts, pushing you forward.
You donât look back.
You donât want to.
But you feel itâ
the intent behind it.
Not at you.
Around you.
Like something is being redirected.
Like youâre the reason it isnât hitting.
Your chest tightens.
They reach the window above.
The masked man forces it open with practiced ease.
âInside.â
Nadeem doesnât wait for you to complyâhe lifts, shoves, pushes you forward through the opening.
You stumble into the room beyond.
Carpet under your feet this time.
A bed.
A strangerâs space.
Wrong.
All of it wrong.
You turn just as Nadeem climbs in after you, slamming the window shut behind him.
For a secondâ
thereâs silence.
Just your breathing.
Too loud.
Too fast.
The ringing in your ears.
The world trying to settle.
The masked man steps back from the window, head angled slightly, listening again.
âFront exit,â he says to Nadeem, already moving toward the door. âYou take her. Get her to a station.â
âAnd you?â
âRoof.â
Nadeem hesitatesâjust a fractionâ
Thenâ
gunfire rips through the room.
The window behind you explodes inward.
Glass sprays across the floor, across the bed, across you.
Nadeem grabs you instantly, dragging you down with him.
âDownâ!â
You hit the floor hard, the air knocked from your lungs as his body shields yours.
Pain flares at your ankle, your shoulderâeverywhere at once.
Another shotâ
closerâ
louder.
You hear it this time even through the ringing.
Nadeem grunts.
Something wet hits your hand.
You look down.
Blood.
ââyouâre shot,â you choke out, your voice barely working as your hands press instinctively against his side, trying to stop it, trying to do something.
âIâm fine,â he grits out, though his face tightens, breath uneven. âIâm fine.â
The masked man is already gone from the open spaceâpressed into the side of the closet, using the wall as cover, head tilted, tracking something you canât see.
âAcross the street?â Nadeem mutters through clenched teeth.
A beat.
âNo,â the masked man says.
Quiet.
Certain.
âItâs from down stairs.â
The words land like a verdict.
Your stomach drops.
Dex.
The masked manâs head turns slightlyâtoward you.
Not your face.
Your position.
Your proximity.
He calculates.
You donât understand how you know that.
But you do.
âUse her as a shield," he says.
Nadeem stares at him. âAre you out of your mind?â
âHe wonât shoot her.â
âHow would you know that?â
âBecause he hasnât.â
Thereâs no hesitation in it.
No doubt.
Just fact.
âTrust me.â
You shake your head immediately.
âNoânoââ
Your voice comes out small. Thin. Panicked.
You donât believe that.
You donât believe him.
Nadeem looks at you.
Really looks this time.
And for a secondâyou think he might refuse.
But thenâ
his jaw tightens.
âIâm sorry,â he says quietly.
And he moves.
His arm wraps around your shoulders, pulling you up, turning you so your back presses against his chest.
You try to pull awayâinstinct, panicâbut his grip is firm, steady, holding you in place.
âStay with me,â he murmurs, low, urgent. âJustâstay with me.â
He guides you forward.
Step by step.
Toward the bedroom door.
Your feet move because they have to.
Because heâs moving you.
Because stopping isnât an option.
Your eyes liftâ
toward the shattered window.
Toward whatâs beyond.
You donât know where he is.
You donât know if he can see you.
But you feel it anywayâ
like a line drawn between you.
Taut.
Unbroken.
And as you take another step forwardâ
your breath catching, your body tremblingâ
one thought loops, over and over, louder than the ringing in your ears.
Please.
Please donât shoot.
Just a floor below, Dex steadies himself against the ledge, breath coming too fast, too sharp. The window opposite to his building becomes his mirror. Through it, he tracks the lit room upstairs. Angles. Distance. Refraction. He adjusts without thinking, the math running clean even while everything else in him fractures.
His jaw tightens. Teeth press into the inside of his cheek until it almost hurts.
Theyâve got her.
The thought doesnât arrive fully formedâit hits, over and over, a blunt repetition that crowds out everything else.
Her.
Not the tapes. Not the safe. Not Fisk.
Her.
He could burn every file, vanish every trace, let the whole operation rot if it meant keeping her exactly where she belongedâinside, safe, contained, his. The rest is noise.
But nowâ
His breathing stutters, uneven. He forces it down, tries to flatten it, but it keeps catching in his chest, hitching on the memory of her screamâsharp, startledâthe way the glass shattered inches from her. Too close. Too close.
His fingers tighten on the grip.
Heâd angled it. Calculated the deflection. A clean ricochet past Nadeemâs shoulder, past the masked manâDaredevilâforcing them to move, to exposeâ
âbut sheâd been there.
Closer than expected.
He swears under his breath, a low, bitten thing.
He didnât hit her. He knows he didnât. He would know.
Stillâ
the image lingers. The possibility.
It claws.
He inhales sharply, steadies the line again. Through the scope, the room is momentarily emptyâno clear target. Theyâve dropped low. Smart. Predictable.
A flicker of movement.
Shadow.
Dex shifts, abandoning the scope for the handgunâcloser angle, faster response. His posture tightens, focus narrowing into a single, razor line.
Thenâ
he sees her.
First.
Always her.
Youâre pulled upright into frame, half-stumbling, breath uneven, fear written across every line of you. For a split second something in his chest stuttersâhaltsâlike the world misfires around that single image.
You lookâ
wrong.
Too far.
Too frightened.
And then he sees itâ
the arm around your shoulders.
Nadeem.
Dexâs expression hardens, something sharp and immediate slicing through the noise.
Using her as a shield.
Of course he is.
Smart.
Cowardly.
Dexâs jaw tightens.
The line is there.
It always is.
Angle.
Distance.
Wind.
Movement.
Obstruction.
He calculates automatically, instinctively, the way other people breathe without thinking about it. Your body blocks most of Nadeemâs center mass, but not entirely. Thereâs enough visible. A shoulder. Part of the neck. A narrow opening beneath your arm.
A shot exists.
There is always a shot.
His finger settles against the trigger.
The buzzing in his head sharpens into focus.
One bullet.
Thatâs all.
Nadeem drops first.
And if the round passes through youâ
His breathing catches once.
No.
Not ideal.
But workable.
Necessary.
Pragmatic.
If you die here, then everything stops here too.
No witness.
No testimony.
No courtroom.
No Fisk complications.
No exposure.
The FBI keeps believing what Fisk wants them to believe. Dex goes back to work. Back to structure. Back to rules and schedules and clear expectations. Fisk remains pleased with him. Reward follows performance. Order restores itself.
Simple.
Clean.
His finger begins to tighten.
He has made harder shots.
Crueler ones.
He has killed people for less.
The scope stays perfectly still.
But something underneath itâ
something inside himâ
doesnât.
Because then he sees your face clearly.
Not just your body.
You.
Your panic is obvious even from this distance. Your mouth trembling around uneven breaths. Your eyes darting frantically toward the dark street like prey searching for where the predator waits.
Alive.
Warm.
Real.
And suddenly his mind betrays him.
Not with doubtâ
with memory.
Your laughter filling the apartment while music played too loudly through the radio.
Your fingers combing through his hair half-asleep.
The feeling of your body curling instinctively toward his in bed.
His star.
His.
The pressure in his finger falters.
Because if he pulls the trigger nowâ
if the bullet tears through both of youâ
then all of that disappears with you.
Gone.
Not temporarily.
Forever.
No more mornings with sunlight caught in your hair.
No more quiet afternoons.
No more warmth beside him in bed.
No more you looking at him like there was still something human left worth trying to save.
The realization hits harder than he expects.
Hard enough to hurt.
His jaw clenches violently.
This is wrong.
Objectively wrong.
Emotion interfering with function.
Attachment disrupting judgment.
He knows that.
He knows it with terrifying clarity.
And stillâ
he cannot make his hand move.
Your eyes lift suddenly.
Toward the window.
Toward him.
And for one impossible second, it feels like youâre looking directly through the scope and into him.
Your lips part.
A tiny movement.
Barely there.
But Dex reads it anyway.
The same way he reads trajectories.
The same way he reads weakness.
Please.
Or maybeâ
Donât.
His breath catches sharply.
The trigger stops beneath his finger.
Not because the shot disappeared.
Because his will to take it did.
Yet his grip tightens again, reflexively, trying to force the shot back into placeâ
but the moment is gone.
Nadeem moves.
Dragging you backward.
Out of the line.
Out of the frame.
Out of his sight.
Dex doesnât fire.
He canât.
The doorway swallows you.
Empty.
Gone.
For a second, he just stands there, gun still raised, staring into the absence like it might correct itself if he waits long enough.
It doesnât.
ââfuck.â
The word tears out of him, raw, stripped of control, echoing sharp against the concrete.
His arm drops, then lifts again uselessly, like he might still salvage something from nothing.
They took her.
The thought returns, louder now, angrier.
Took her.
Not saved.
Not rescued.
Took.
His breathing turns jagged again, chest rising too fast, too shallow. His focus fractures and then snaps back into something harderâcolder.
Directed.
Daredevil.
Of course.
This is his doing.
This interference. This disruption. Thisâ
theft.
Dexâs jaw sets, eyes narrowing as he tracks the building, recalculating, reorienting, already moving past the moment even as it still burns under his skin.
Someone doesnât get to take whatâs hisâ
and walk away from it.
Not without consequence.
He exhales once, sharp and controlled this time.
Then moves.
Because this isnât over.
Not even close.
You and Nadeem donât make it far down the stairs before the sound hitsâ
boots.
Heavy. Fast. Coming up.
Nadeem hears it first. You feel it in the way his body tightens against yours, the sudden alertness cutting through the haze of pain.
ââwait.â
His hand catches your arm again, sharper this time, pulling you off course.
Before you can askâ
heâs dragging you sideways, into the narrow recess beneath the stairwell. A shallow pocket of shadow where the concrete juts just enough to hide two bodies if they donât breathe too loud.
You barely have time to steady yourself before he presses you backâ
close.
Too close.
His chest against yours.
His arm braced above your shoulder to keep his weight from collapsing fully into you.
âStay still,â he breathes.
You do.
You donât think you could move if you tried.
The footsteps grow louderâcloserâechoing up the stairwell in sharp, overlapping bursts. Voices follow. Urgent. Coordinated. Police.
You shrink instinctively, your back flattening against the cold wall, your breath caught somewhere too high in your chest.
Nadeemâs heart is racing.
You can feel it through himâfast, uneven, pounding hard enough it almost feels like itâs inside your own ribcage. His breathing isnât much better. Each inhale shallow. Controlled. Forced.
Thereâs a smell, too.
Metallic.
Thick.
Your eyes dropâ
and you see it.
Blood.
Darkening your shirt where itâs soaked through from his side. Spreading slowly, unevenly, the fabric clinging where itâs wet.
Your stomach tightens.
You look back up at him.
His face is drawn tight, jaw clenched, eyes squeezed shut for just a second too long as another wave of pain hits.
He exhalesâshaky this time. It slips out before he can stop it.
The footsteps pass.
One set. Then another. Then more.
No one looks your way.
No one sees you.
It takes longer than it should for the sound to fade. Every second stretched thin with the fear that someone will turn. That someone will stop.
They donât.
Eventuallyâ
silence returns.
Not quiet. Not really.
But empty enough.
Nadeemâs arm falters slightly where it braces against the wall.
You catch it.
âHereââ your voice comes out softer than you expect, but steadier. âTakeâtake my shoulder.â
He shakes his head immediately. âNo, Iâmâ Iâm fine.â
You donât let him.
âNo,â you insist, quieter but firmer now. âPlease. I canâtâjustâplease.â
Thereâs no time to argue.
And maybe he knows that.
Or maybe he just canât hold himself up much longer.
Either wayâ
he relents.
Slowly.
Carefully.
You guide his arm over your shoulder, adjusting your stance so you can take some of his weight. He leans into it just enough to stay upright, his breath hitching as he shifts.
âOkay,â he mutters. âOkay.â
Together, you step out from the shadow.
The stairwell feels different nowâtoo open, too exposedâbut you donât stop.
Down one step.
Then another.
Each movement is slower than it should be. Measured. Careful. You can feel how much effort it takes him just to keep pace, his weight heavier with every step, his grip tightening reflexively when the pain spikes.
You donât say anything.
You just keep moving.
Down.
Down.
Untilâ
finallyâ
the door.
You push through it together.
The cold hits immediately.
Sharp. Biting. The kind of cold that fills your lungs too fast and makes everything feel too real all at once.
The street is quieter than it should be. Wind cutting through the space between buildings, carrying distant noise that doesnât reach you fully.
You adjust your grip on him.
âDid youâdid you bring a car?â you ask, breath visible in the air.
âYeah,â he manages, already fumbling at his pocket.
His hands shake as he pulls out the keys, lifting them just enough to point.
âThereâgrayâNissan.â
You follow the direction, spotting it across the street.
It feels too far.
You donât say that.
You just move.
Half-walking, half-dragging him across the pavement, your arm tight around his waist now as his weight leans heavier into you. His steps falter more than once, catching unevenly, but you donât let him fall.
âAlmost there,â you murmur, more for yourself than him.
You reach the car.
You get the door open.
Getting him inside is harder.
You have to guide him down, steady him as he lowers into the passenger seat, his breath breaking on the movement.
Then youâre around the other sideâhands shaking now, heart still racingâas you climb into the driverâs seat and slam the door shut.
For a secondâ
you both just sit there.
Breathing.
Too loud.
Too fast.
Then you move.
Key in. Turn.
The engine stuttersâthen catches.
âWe have to go to the hospital,â you say immediately, already gripping the wheel, eyes flicking toward him. âYouâre bleeding too muchââ
âNo.â
The word is rough, but immediate.
You turn to him.
Heâs already shaking his head, one hand pressing hard against his side.
âNoâwe go to the station.â
âWhat? No, youââ
âYou need to be processed,â he cuts in, voice tightening through the pain. âWitness protection. We get you in, we get you securedâFisk canât reach you there. Dex canât reach you there.â
That stops you.
Just enough.
Because itâs true.
You know it is.
He sees it in your face.
Presses on.
âYouâre safer there than anywhere else right now.â
Your grip tightens on the wheel.
Your eyes dropâjust for a second.
Then you ask it.
Quietly.
ââŠdo I have to testify?â
Nadeem exhales slowly, like he already knows what that question means.
âYes,â he says. Not unkind. Not hesitant. Just honest. âYouâre a direct witness. You might be the only one who can tie him to this.â
Your throat tightens.
âHeâll be in custody,â Nadeem adds, softer now, trying to reassure you. âYouâll be protected. You wonât be alone up there.â
But thatâs not what youâre thinking about.
Not really.
You see it anyway.
Clearer than anything else.
A courtroom.
Dex in restraints.
Hands cuffed.
Orange against pale skin.
His eyesâ
on you.
Not blank.
Not distant.
Something sharper.
Something worse.
You donât know which would be harder to face.
Anger.
Orâ
something like hurt.
Your fingers press tighter into the steering wheel.
You donât answer.
Because you donât know how to.
Because you already knowâ
you wonât be able to stand there and take it.
Not from him.
Not like that.
The engine hums under your hands.
The road stretches ahead.
And for the first time since you got outâ
you hesitate.
The station comes into view almost too suddenly.
You donât remember the last few turns. The traffic lights. The roads between.
Justâ
this.
Fluorescent light spilling out onto the street. The low, constant hum of voices and movement behind glass doors. Safety, in its most official form.
You pull the car up too fast, braking harder than you mean to. The engine idles, uneven beneath your hands.
For a moment, you donât move.
Then you turn.
Nadeem looks worse.
Paler than beforeâskin drawn tight, lips losing color, his head tipped slightly back against the seat like itâs the only thing keeping him upright. His hand is still pressed to his side, but the pressureâs slipping. You can see it in the way his fingers tremble.
âHey,â you say, quieter now. Careful. âWeâre here.â
His eyes openâslow, unfocused at firstâthen settle on you.
Relief flickers there.
Faint. Fragile.
âIâll go get them,â you tell him. âOkay? Iâllâjust stay here. Iâll get help.â
He nods.
Barely.
âGo,â he mutters, jaw tightening as another wave of pain hits. âGo.â
You hesitateâjust for a second.
Then you push the door open and step out.
The cold hits again, sharper this time, cutting straight through the adrenaline thatâs been carrying you this far. The station doors feel farther away than they should.
You take a step.
Then another.
Your heartbeat is still too fast. Your hands still shaking.
Insideâ
there will be questions.
Statements.
Names.
His name.
Your grip tightens slightly at your sides.
You keep walking.
By the time the officers come out, itâs fast. Too fast for how slow everything else suddenly feels.
Three of them.
Moving with purpose, voices already raisedâ
âSir, can you hear me?â
âStay with usâdonât move.â
âLetâs get him outâeasyâeasyââ
They crowd the passenger side, pulling the door open, hands steady but urgent as they assess the damage. Blood. Too much of it.
âYouâre safe now,â one of them says firmly, already reaching for Nadeemâs arm. âWeâve got you.â
Nadeem tries to focus.
The world around him tilts, blurs at the edges.
But something pushes through it.
Sharp.
Immediate.
âThe girlââ His voice comes out strained, uneven. âWhereâsâthe girl?â
The officers pauseâjust enough to glance at each other.
âWhat girl?â one asks, distracted, still working to keep him conscious.
âThe oneâsheââ Nadeem swallows hard, fighting to stay present. âShe calledâshe was justââ
His eyes drag toward the driverâs side.
Empty.
The space where you were.
Gone.
The officers follow his gaze, looking around the street, scanning the immediate area.
Thereâs no one.
ââŠSir,â one of them says carefully, confusion creeping in. âThereâs no one here.â
âNoâno, she wasââ Nadeem tries to push himself up, a sharp breath tearing out of him as pain flares through his side. His hand slips, pressing harder instinctively.
âShe was just here,â another officer mutters, stepping back slightly, checking the perimeter. âDid she go inside?â
âWhy is she important?â a third asks, glancing back at him.
Nadeem tries to answer.
He tries to explainâ
but the words donât come out right. They tangle, break apart, lost somewhere between pain and exhaustion and the sheer effort it takes to stay conscious.
âSheâsheâsââ His voice falters.
Critical.
Key.
Evidence.
He knows what she is to the case.
But thatâs not the word sitting at the front of his mind.
Not the one that matters.
âSheââ he tries again, weaker now.
Nothing.
His strength gives out before the sentence does.
âAlright, thatâs enough,â one of the officers says, firm but not unkind. âWeâve got you. Letâs move.â
They donât wait for more.
Carefully, they start pulling him from the car, one arm slung over a shoulder, another steadying his weight. He doesnât fight itânot really.
He canât.
His head turns once more toward the street.
Searching.
Even as his vision dims at the edges.
Nothing.
No sign of you.
âânoâŠâ he breathes, barely audible now.
But the moment passes.
And then heâs moving.
Inside the station.
Carried forward by hands that donât know what just slipped through themâ
and how much it matters.
Cold air cuts across your face like something alive.
It stings your eyes, dries your lips, steals the breath from your chest faster than you can pull it back in. Everything around you is motionâlights smearing into long streaks, passing cars dissolving into noise, footsteps that donât feel like your own hitting pavement again and again and again.
Youâre running.
You donât remember when you started.
Only that you didnât stop.
Your feet acheâbare against the rough concrete, each step a sharp, grounding pain that barely registers over the rest. Your lungs burn. Your throat feels raw, like youâve been breathing through something too thin to hold you together.
Stillâ
you run.
Past corners you donât see. Past people who blur into shapes. Past the station. Past the place that was supposed to be safe.
Your body keeps moving long after your mind stops keeping track of why.
Untilâ
you canât.
Your legs falter.
You turnâtoo quickly, too blindlyâinto the first narrow space you find.
An alley.
Dark. Close. Quiet in a way the street wasnât.
You stumble to the wall and press your back against it, your body folding in on itself as your breath comes in sharp, broken pulls. Your hands brace against your thighs, then slide up, gripping your arms like you need something to hold you in place.
You canâtâ
you canât breathe right.
Your chest rises too fast, falls too shallow.
You squeeze your eyes shut.
You canât face him.
The thought comes through everything elseâclearer than the noise, sharper than the cold.
You canât face Dex.
Not after this.
Not after leaving.
Not after running.
Your stomach twists, something heavy and sick curling low and deep.
You donât want to think about what his face would look like.
What his eyes would be.
Anger.
Or worseâ
something quieter.
You shake your head, like you can push it out.
âI canât,â you whisper, breath hitching. âI canâtâŠâ
Your voice sounds small. Lost in the space around you.
You slide down the wall slightly, your back dragging against rough brick until your knees bend just enough to take some of your weight. Your fingers dig into your sleeves, trying to find warmth that isnât there.
You donât want any of it.
Not the police.
Not the station.
Not the questions.
Not the courtroom.
Not justice.
The word feels distant. Hollow.
Like it belongs to someone else.
You donât care about any of that.
You donât care about proving anything.
About fixing anything.
About bringing anything down.
You justâ
want to feel safe.
The thought hits harder than anything else.
Simple.
Almost childish.
Safe.
Your throat tightens.
Home.
The word comes quieter.
Softer.
You want to go home.
Not that apartment.
Not that place.
Home.
Your dadâs voice flickers somewhere in your memoryâfaint, warm, steady in a way nothing else has been.
The smell of food.
Green pasta.
Too much garlic, the way he always made it.
You swallow hard, your vision blurring againâbut not from the cold this time.
âI want to go home,â you whisper, barely audible.
Your hands press harder against your arms, like you can hold yourself together long enough to make it real.
Thenâ
a thought cuts through.
Sharp.
Sudden.
State hospital.
Your eyes open.
Heâs there.
He should be there.
Injured. But alive.
They said alive.
Your breath stuttersâbut steadies, just a little.
Thatâs where you go.
Thatâsâ
home, for now.
You push yourself off the wall, your legs unsteady but moving.
âIâm going home,â you murmur, more certain this time. âI need to go home.â
The alley doesnât answer.
The cold doesnât ease.
But you step forward anyway.
And this timeâ
you know where youâre going.
AN: Funfact Nadeem is actually my 3rd favorite character from S3 of daredevil. First is kingpin, second is Dex and third is Ray Nadeem. If you question my sanity for placing Kingpin as my favorite, you are right to do so. He pulls the best laugh out of me while I was watching S3. When I was a boy...I was 12.
Summary: Better to be a dead bird than to be a flea in a jar.
Â
C.w: Kidnapping/captivity, psychological manipulation, unhealthy attachment, violence, gun violence, blood/injury, implied murder, stalking/surveillance, panic attacks, emotional dependency, dissociation, morally disturbing behavior, toxic romance dynamics.Â
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You rip the headphones offâ
not out of thought, but instinct.
The tape keeps running for half a second longer, the faint mechanical whir bleeding into the room before you fumble and stop it. Your hands are already movingâtoo fast, too clumsyâas if the sound itself might hurt you.
You sit thereâ
staring at nothing.
Your hands tremble slightly where they rest in your lap.
He was a child.
A child.
And in his voice there wasâ
nothing.
No guilt.
No hesitation.
No confusion.
Just⊠clarity.
Like he wasnât confessing.
Like he was explaining something simple. Something practical. Something that had worked exactly the way it was supposed to.
Your fingers curl faintly against your knees.
You try to place itâtry to make it fit into something you understand. A mistake. A moment. A child not knowing better.
But it doesnât feel like that.
It doesnât feel like anything went wrong in the moment.
It feels like something was already⊠missing.
And that thoughtâ
thatâs what unsettles you.
Not him.
Not fully.
The absence.
You swallow, your throat tight.
Because beneath the horrors of what he said, thereâs something else, quieter, more difficult to face.
He was a child.
Where was anyone?
Where was someone to stop itâ
to correct itâ
to hold it before it became this?
Your brows knit slightly.
A question forms without permission.
If someone had loved him differentlyâ
enoughâ
would this have⊠changed?
Thenâ
a noise.
Faint.
Metal against metal.
You freeze.
It comes again.
Not from inside the apartment.
Outside.
The fire escape.
Your head snaps toward the window, breath catching somewhere high in your chest. The sound is unmistakable nowâthe subtle rattle of weight shifting against iron, a measured climb, deliberate and familiar in a way that makes your stomach drop.
Heâs back.
You move.
Everything happens at once.
The headphones are yanked off completely, tossed aside without care. Your fingers fumble with the cassette player, but you donât even think to stop or eject the tape this timeâyou just grab the entire thing, tape still spinning inside, and shove it straight back into the shoebox.
The plastic cases clatter softly as you force them down, stacking them unevenly, the neat order ruined in seconds.
âShitââ
Your voice barely leaves your throat.
The shoebox goes back into the safe, pushed too far, hitting the back wall with a dull thud. Your hands shake as you reach for the next thingâyour bag.
Still sitting there.
Open.
Too visible.
You grab it, zip it halfwayâno timeâand cram it into the safe on top of everything else. It barely fits now, edges catching against metal, but you force it in anyway, pressing until it disappears into shadow.
The rattling outside grows louder.
Closer.
You shut the safe with more force than you should. Making a grating sound of metal against metal that had you regretting, immediately after the safe shuts.
But you have no time.
Your eyes flick across the roomâ
and land on it.
The yellow file.
Still in the middle of the floor.
Your stomach drops.
âFuckââ
You lunge for it, fingers catching the edge, crumpling the paper slightly as you snatch it up. For a second, you almost just hold itâfrozen between choicesâbut the sound at the window snaps you forward again.
Move.
Now.
You rush toward the bedroom doorway, the chain at your ankle dragging with a sharp metallic scrape against the floor, stopping you just short of the hall. You donât fight itâyou know the limit by now.
You drop low instead, extending your arm as far as it will go, leaning your weight forward until it strains through your shoulder.
The front door is just across the small stretch of hallway.
Too far.
Almost.
You push the file forward, letting it slide from your fingers. It skids across the floorâtoo slow at first, catching slightly against the wood grainâ
âCome onââ
You grab the edge again with your fingertips, stretching further, forcing your body past whatâs comfortable, and shove it one last time.
It glides.
Stops.
Right where it should be.
Near the front door.
Like it was never moved.
Like no one touched it.
The sound at the windowâ
closer.
The latch.
You pull back immediately, retreating into the corner of the bedroom, heart hammering so hard it feels loud enough to give you away. Your hands hover uselessly for a second, unsure what to fix nextâwhatâs out of place, what heâll notice.
Everything feels wrong.
Everything feels obvious.
The closet isnât fully closed.
The room smells like panic.
You can still feel the ghost of the tape in your ears.
The window creaks.
You turnâ
just in time to see the shadow shift against the glass.
And thenâ
it opens.
Morning comes softly.
Light filters through the slats of the shutters in thin, pale stripsâgold laid carefully across the room, across the bed, across you.
Dex is already awake.
He always is.
He doesnât use an alarm anymore. Doesnât need one. His body pulls him out of sleep early, like itâs bracing for something before the day even begins.
For the longest time, the first thing he used to see was the ceiling.
Blank.
Flat.
Nothing.
Nowâ
itâs you.
Always you.
His gaze settles on your face with a kind of stillness that borders on reverence. Like if he looks too quickly, too carelessly, you might not be there.
Like you could disappear if he doesnât anchor you with his eyes first.
Slowly, carefully, his hand lifts.
He doesnât rush it.
His fingers hover for a moment before they touch youâlight, almost hesitantâas if heâs testing something fragile.
Real.
His knuckles brush along the curve of your cheek.
Warm.
You donât move.
Still asleep.
His touch shifts, softer now, tracing the line of your jaw, the edge of your face like heâs memorizing it again. Like it could change if he doesnât keep track.
Sometimes, he tells himself itâs just to be sure.
That youâre still here.
That thisâwhatever this isâhasnât gone.
His fingers slide upward, combing lightly through your hair. A slow motion, careful not to pull, not to wake you. Just to feel it.
To feel you.
You shift slightly in your sleep.
A small reactionâyour face tightening, just for a second.
A faint scrunch.
Dex stills.
Thenâsomething in his chest loosens.
Adorable.
The word comes without effort. Not analyzed. Not constructed.
Just⊠there.
His hand moves again.
He takes one of your hands gently, lifting it just enough to bring it closer. His lips press, soft and deliberate, against your knucklesâone by one.
Measured.
Precise.
Like heâs following something heâs learned, something he knows is right.
But slower.
More careful than imitation alone.
Up your wrist.
Along your forearm.
He feels the faint texture of your skin, the softness, the warmth. His mouth follows the path his hand has already traced, mapping you in a way that makes sense to him.
Up.
To your shoulder.
Your collarbone.
There, he pauses.
Watches you.
Your breathing shiftsâjust slightly.
A sign.
He recognizes it immediately.
That edge where sleep starts to break.
Dex pulls back.
Not abruptly.
Not in retreat.
Just enough.
He doesnât push further.
He knows better than that.
Knows the boundary even if he doesnât understand it.
So he settles beside you again, close enough that he can still feel your presence, still anchor himself to it.
The warmth in his chest lingers.
Quiet.
Contained.
Enough.
His gaze driftsâbriefly, but not without purposeâtoward the closet.
The door isnât fully shut.
Just slightly ajar.
Thatâs all it takes.
His eyes narrow, just a fraction.
The safe.
The file.
The tapes.
He noticed.
Of course he did.
The creases in the yellow file that shouldnât be there. Subtle, but wrong. The edges bent where they shouldnât be when he pick it up last night
And the tapes.
Out of order.
Not by labelâthose donât matter.
By memory.
He knows where each one belongs. Knows without checking.
Last night, when you were asleep, he confirmed it from a gut feeling.
One still left in the player.
Not rewound.
Not returned.
You didnât finish it.
You didnât put it back.
You panicked.
Dexâs jaw shifts slightly.
Not anger.
Not quite.
Something more focused than that.
Measured.
You saw something.
Enough to move things.
Enough to touch whatâs his.
And stillâ
you stayed.
He replays it.
The way you looked at him.
The way you held him.
The way you stepped into the shower without pulling away.
If you wanted to leaveâ
you would have tried.
If you wanted to hurt himâ
you had the means.
The gun.
The door.
Time.
You didnât use any of it.
So it means something.
It has to.
His chest tightensânot painfully, but with a kind of certainty that settles deep.
You know.
At least part of it.
And youâre still here.
Thatâs enough.
More than enough.
The thought anchors itself quickly, cleanly:
You love him.
Not the way other people define it.
Not the way itâs supposed to look.
But enough to stay.
Enough to accept.
Enough to choose him.
Dex exhales slowly.
The decision forms just as quietly.
Heâll change the safe code.
Not as punishment.
As precaution.
Youâll notice.
Youâll react.
Maybe pull away. Maybe resist.
Maybe look at him differently.
Thatâs fine.
He can manage that.
He can adjust.
But most importantly, you wonât leave.
You didnât last night.
You wonât now.
Beside him, you shift againâthis time more noticeably.
The light has moved.
One of the thin strips falls across your face.
Your brow tightens slightly in your sleep.
Dex notices immediately.
His body shifts closer without thought, angling himself just enough to block the light from reaching you.
The change is instant.
Your face relaxes again.
Your breathing evens out.
Dex watches it happen.
Watches the effect.
A small, quiet satisfaction settles in his chest.
He lifts his hand once more, brushing the back of his knuckles lightly against your cheek.
Gentler this time.
Certain.
âMy love,â he murmurs, barely audible.
The words arenât performative.
They arenât practiced.
Theyâre⊠owned.
Held close.
His.
You.
Afternoon light spills through the apartment in long, pale stripsâcaught between the slats of the shutters, stretched thin across the floor, the couch, your legs where they tangle with his.
The radio hums somewhere in the background, low and indistinct. Something about a documentaryâvoices talking in calm, measured tones. Heâs not listening. He hasnât been for a while.
His laptop rests open on his thigh, something paused on the screen.
Unimportant.
Because youâre here.
Youâre stretched along the other end of the couch, book in hand, brow faintly furrowed in concentration. Your fingers hold the page lightly, like youâre not even aware of the grip. Every now and then your lips moveâsilent, reading a line twice.
He watches that.
The small movements.
The patterns.
Heâs learned them.
âYou know I got you a present?â
The words leave him suddenly. Not planned. Just⊠there.
You glance up over the edge of your book, eyes narrowing slightly in curiosity.
âNo, I donât know,â you say.
Your voice still carries that soft edge of distraction, like part of you is still in the page.
He closes the laptop immediately.
Sets it aside on the coffee table without looking.
All of his attention shiftsâclean, complete.
âWell,â he says, a hint of something almost pleased threading through his tone, âthe surprise is⊠surprisingly⊠in a blue bag in the closet.â
You blink at him.
Brows lifting.
âAre you serious?â
Thereâs a pauseâbrief, but he feels it. Measures it. Waits.
âCome on,â he adds, leaning forward slightly. âGo check it out yourself.â
You hesitate.
Just a second.
Your fingers tighten on the book.
âSeriously? While Iâm reading?â
He reaches out and gives your thigh a light, quick slapânot hard, just enough to interrupt the moment.
âYou can read later,â he says. âGo.â
The contact lingers in his mind even after his hand pulls back.
You huff softlyâmore habit than annoyance.
âHmm. Okay.â
You set the book down beside his laptop and untangle yourself from him, your leg slipping free from his. The absence is immediate.
Not painful.
Just⊠noticeable.
He watches you walk toward the bedroom.
Listens to the quiet shift of your steps, the door opening, closingâ
Thenâ
a gasp.
Sharp.
Real.
His mouth curves before he can stop it.
A second later, youâre back.
Holding the dress.
Mint green.
Floral.
Bell sleeves falling soft from your arms, the fabric catching the light as you move. Itâs not extravagant. Not complicated. But it fits somethingâsomething he recognized the moment he saw it.
You.
âDexâno way.â
Your voice is brighter now. Clearer. Entirely present.
He leans back slightly, watching you with open satisfaction.
âI saw it on the way back,â he says. âIt reminded me of you. I heard your favorite color is mint green.â
âIt is,â you say immediately, already smiling wider. âIt is.â
Good.
Thatâs good.
It fits.
âIâm going to try it onâwait.â
You donât even let him respond.
Youâre already turning, already moving back toward the bedroom, the dress gathered in your hands like something fragile and exciting.
The door closes again.
Dex exhales softly through his nose.
A quiet, contained sound.
His gaze lingers on the door for a moment longer than necessary.
Then dropsâto where you had been sitting. The indentation in the couch. The book, slightly open. The faint warmth still left behind.
He shifts slightly, leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees.
Waiting.
A few minutes pass.
Then the door opens.
And you step out.
Wearing it.
The dress falls just to your knees, the sleeves brushing your arms as you move. The color sits against your skin exactly the way he expectedâsoft, clean, unmistakable.
Right.
âYou lookâŠâ he starts, then stops.
Adjusts.
ââŠamazing.â
You hesitate at the edge of the room, biting your bottom lip slightly.
There it is.
That movement.
Heâs noticed it beforeâhow you do that when youâre uncertain, when youâre waiting for confirmation. The way the corners of your lips hold a different shade because of it.
âYou think?â you ask.
Thereâs something careful in it.
Something that waits.
âNo,â he says immediately, more certain now. âNot âI think.â I know.â
A small beat.
âIt suits you.â
Your smile widens, but it softens tooâless sharp, more real.
âYou sure it doesnât wash me out a bit?â
He shakes his head once.
âNot at all.â
Another pause.
âItâs⊠perfect.â
The word settles.
You move toward him then, closing the distance between you and the couch. Your hand lifts slightly, reachingâaiming for his.
He responds without thinking.
His hand comes up to meet yours.
The space between them closesâ
Almostâ
And then you stop.
Pull back.
âWait,â you say suddenly. âI have an idea.â
His hand lingers in the air for half a second before lowering slowly.
A flicker of somethingâconfusion, brief and sharpâpasses through him.
But he doesnât question it.
Youâre already moving again, crossing the room to the radio. You crouch slightly, fingers turning the dial, adjusting the frequency. Static crackles, then shifts, then settles into something else.
Music, maybe.
Something softer.
He watches you.
The way your focus narrows. The way your tongue presses briefly against the inside of your cheek as you concentrate. The way your lips part slightlyâthen press together as you fine-tune the sound.
You bite your lip again.
There.
Again.
He catalogs it without thinking.
When you finally look up, thereâs something bright in your expression. Anticipation. A kind of quiet excitement, like youâre about to show him something he doesnât know yet.
He likes that.
That look.
The one that belongs to him now.
Your eyes catch the light.
Your smile shiftsâwider, softer, open.
And for a momentâ
just a momentâ
everything feels aligned.
Correct.
Like something finally fits the way itâs supposed to.
Dex leans back into the couch slightly, watching you, his gaze steady.
That smileâ
it could light the entire city.
Heâs sure of it.
And more than thatâ
itâs his.
The station catches.
Music floods inâclearer, louder, something with rhythm. Something that moves.
You brighten instantly.
There it is.
That shift.
He feels it before he understands it.
âOh,â you say, almost to yourself, then louder, turning halfway toward him, âtheyâre playing the same song they played yesterday.â
You set the radio down, but your attention stays with it for a second, like youâre still listening through your whole body.
Then you move toward him.
âI think itâs calledâŠâ you start, thinking as you approach, ââŠLove My Way? By Psychedelic⊠something.â You shake your head lightly, smiling at yourself. âI donât get the last part, but Iâm sure itâs that.â
You stop a few feet in front of him.
And thenâ
you donât come any closer.
Instead, you sway.
Just slightly at first. A shift of weight from one foot to the other. Your dress follows the movement, the soft fabric catching the light from the window. Mint green. He chose that. He was right.
The music fills the space between you.
Thereâs an army on the dance floorItâs a fashion with a gun, My loveâ
You move more fully now, letting the rhythm take you. Not precise. Not practiced. Just⊠natural. Your arms lift a little, your shoulders loosen, your hips follow the beat like itâs something youâve always known.
In a room without a doorâ
A kiss is not enough in
He doesnât hear the song the way you do.
Not really.
He hears structure. Tempo. Repetition.
But youâ
you make it something else.
You smile.
And that changes everything.
His mouth curves without permission. Small at first. Then more.
He claps once, then againâtentative, then finding the beat, matching it. Matching you.
You turn, the skirt of your dress flaring slightly with the motion. The bell sleeves shift with your arms. He notices all of it. The way the fabric moves. The way your hair follows half a second behind you.
Youâre laughing.
He mirrors it before he realizes heâs doing it.
Love my way, itâs a new roadâ
âYou know the lyrics already?â he asks, the question slipping out between beats.
You donât answer.
You just come closer.
Close enough now that he can see the flush in your cheeks, the brightness in your eyes. You reach for him without hesitation, your hands finding his, your fingers curling around his like itâs already decided.
You pull.
He lets himself be pulled.
Heâs on his feet before he fully processes it.
âI donâtââ he starts, a reflex more than a thought. âI donât really dance.â
âItâs okay,â you say immediately, like the answer was obvious. âJust feel the music.â
Feel.
He doesnât know what that means.
But you do.
So he watches you.
You guide himâsubtle at first. A shift of your hands. A step backward, drawing him forward. Your body sets the pace, and he follows, slightly off, slightly delayed.
He adjusts.
Watches.
Corrects.
Matches.
Love my way, itâs a new road. I follow where my mind goesâ
You sing along, your voice light, a little breathless with movement. Not perfect. Not polished.
Real.
He studies the timing of your steps. The way your weight shifts. The rhythm in your shoulders, your arms. He mirrors it piece by piece, assembling it until it fits.
Until it aligns.
And thenâ
something settles.
The movement becomes easier. Smoother. Less thought, more response. Not instinctâhe doesnât have thatâbut something close enough.
You laugh again, spinning once, and he follows the motion, his grip tightening just slightly as he turns you back toward him.
Not to control.
To keep.
Your hands donât leave his.
Love my way, itâs a new roadâ I follow where my mind goesâ
Youâre closer now.
Your steps begin to match his as much as heâs matching yours. The space between you narrows until itâs almost gone. The music fills the room, but it feels like itâs coming from somewhere else entirelyâsomewhere smaller, contained between the two of you.
Your laughter overlaps with his.
Your voice with his breath.
Your movement with his movement.
It aligns.
It works.
And for a momentâ
itâs quiet in his head.
No noise. No static. No sharp edges pressing in.
Just this.
You.
Your hands in his.
Your smileâbright enough to fill the whole room, bright enough to feel like it could light something much larger.
He focuses on that.
On you.
On the way your happiness looks, and sounds, and moves.
He matches it.
Holds onto it.
Builds himself around it.
And in that momentâ
he decides, without needing to say it, without needing to understand it
that he likes this.
That he likes this because of you.
That whatever this isâ
he wants it to stay.
Evening settles into the apartment quietly.
Not all at once.
The light simply thins little by little until the windows turn dark blue instead of gold, until the shadows in the living room stretch long enough to swallow the furniture whole.
By the time you notice it, sunset is already gone.
You glance toward the window instinctively.
Itâs probably past seven.
Dex should be home soon.
The thought comes automatically now, worn smooth from repetition.
Youâve been telling yourself the same thing for days.
Not now. Heâll be home soon.
Iâll leave later.
Tomorrow maybe.
When it feels right.
When Iâm ready.
Your gaze drifts toward the closet.
Toward the safe hidden behind hanging clothes and folded jackets.
218.
You still remember the number perfectly.
You think you always will.
You could open it right now if you wanted to. Take your things. Wait for the right moment. Leave before he comes home.
You know that.
Thatâs the problem.
Because the truth isâit was never really the chain keeping you here.
Not after the safe.
Not after you realized escape was possible.
Your fingers tighten slightly around the edge of the bathroom sink.
You stay because part of you keeps thinking maybe a little more time would change something.
Maybe if someone had loved your mother enoughâ
properly enoughâ
she would have stayed.
Maybe if someone had seen her clearly before the illness hollowed her out from the inside, things could have become different.
Your mother had still been capable of beautiful things.
You remember that.
The way she painted her nails while humming softly under her breath. The way she danced around the kitchen barefoot when jazz records played late at night. The way she once turned scraps of fabric into your Halloween costume by hand because she said store-bought things had âno soul.â
Borderline Personality Disorder had not erased her humanity.
It had not erased her softness.
It had only made everything hurt louder.
And Dexâ
Dex is not soft.
Not naturally.
But sometimesâ
sometimes you catch glimpses of something that almost could be.
The way he watches your face when you speak, like heâs trying to memorize how emotions work through you. The way he traces your fingers absentmindedly when he thinks youâre asleep. The way he buys you things simply because they reminded him of you.
Crooked attempts.
Imperfect things.
But attempts nonetheless.
And some foolish, aching part of you keeps wondering:
if someone stays long enoughâ
loves carefully enoughâ
could a person like him become better?
Could he learn?
Could he become something gentler?
Or is that just another version of the same mistake your mother made people believe about her?
You exhale slowly.
The apartment beyond the bedroom remains dark and silent.
Your chain wonât let you reach the lights outside the room.
Youâve tested it before.
So you stay where the light reaches.
Where things feel smaller.
Contained.
And beneath all of thatâ
beneath the guilt and the hope and the confusionâ
there is another truth you try not to touch too directly.
You are afraid to leave him.
Not because of what waits outside these walls.
But because of what might follow after you do.
The bathroom mirror is slightly fogged from the tap.
You lean in, brushing your teeth, movements slow, absent. Foam gathering at the corners of your mouth, your gaze unfocused as it drifts somewhere past your own reflection.
Routine.
Something to do with your hands.
Something to fill the space.
A sound cuts through it.
Metal.
Softâbut distinct.
The faint scrape of something shifting where it shouldnât.
You pause.
Toothbrush still in your mouth.
You listen.
Another soundâquieter this time. Subtle. Controlled.
The bedroom window.
Opening.
Your first thought comes easily.
Dex.
Relief follows it before you even question it.
Heâs early.
Or maybe just⊠quiet tonight.
You rinse quickly, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, already moving toward the doorway.
âDexââ
The word dies before it fully forms.
Someone is standing by the window.
Not Dex.
A manâtall, stillâhalf his face covered. A mask drawn over his eyes, the lower half of his face exposed. Dark. Unfamiliar.
Wrong.
For a split second, neither of you move.
You donât need to see his whole face to knowâ
heâs just as startled as you are.
Your body reacts before your mind catches up.
You turnâ
fastâ
back toward the bathroom.
A place to hide. To close a door. To put somethingâanythingâbetween you and him.
You donât make it.
He moves quicker.
A hand catches your armâthen your back meets the wall a second later.
The impact isnât hardâbut itâs sudden enough to knock the air from your lungs.
His other hand comes up immediately.
Over your mouth.
Firm.
Not crushingâjust enough to stop the sound before it can fully form.
Your breath jerks against his palm, a muffled cry swallowed there.
ââwait.â
Low. Close. Right by your ear.
Not harsh.
Urgent.
âListen to me. Iâm not here to hurt you.â
You struggle anyway.
Instinct.
Your hands push at him, your body twisting, trying to break freeâbut his hold adjusts with you, controlled, deliberate. He shifts his weight just enough to keep you in place without pressing harder than he needs to.
Thereâs restraint in it.
Precision.
He isnât trying to overpower youâ
just contain the moment.
âIâm going to let go,â he says, voice still steady, measured despite the tension in your body. âBut you have to stay quiet. Okay?â
Your breathing is uneven against his hand. Too fast. Too shallow.
Your eyes liftâmeeting what you can see of his face.
The lower half.
The line of his mouth.
Thereâs no smile.
No anger.
Just focus.
Waiting.
âOkay?â he repeats, quieter this time.
A beat.
Your body stillsâjust enough.
You nod.
Small.
Uncertain.
He removes his hand immediately.
No hesitation.
Like he meant it.
You suck in air the second you can, stumbling back a step as soon as his grip loosens, putting space between you. Your hand comes up instinctively to your mouth, then to your arm where he held youâas if checking that youâre still there. Still in control of yourself.
âI wonât hurt you,â he says again.
Softer now.
You take another step back.
The chain drags.
A sharp, unmistakable sound against hardwood.
Metal pulling taut around your ankle.
His head turns slightly.
Not toward your face.
Down.
He hears it.
Processes it.
Understands.
Something in his posture shiftsâsubtle, but immediate. The stillness sharpens. Tightens.
Not toward you.
Past you.
Angerâquiet, controlledâsettling into place.
A knock cuts through the apartment.
Sharp. Sudden. Too loud for the quiet thatâs been sitting there all evening.
You flinch.
âIs everything alright?â
A manâs voice. Muffled through the doorâbut close.
The masked man goes still for half a second.
Then he moves.
Fast.
He crosses the apartment in a few strides, every step controlled, and reaches the door. His hand hovers just briefly over the handleâas if listeningâthen he pulls it open.
The man on the other side is already leaning in.
Alert. Tense. Like he expected something to be wrong.
âWhatââ
His gaze flicks past the masked man, trying to read the space beyond him.
âThereâs a woman in here,â the masked man says quickly, low but urgent. âSheâs chained.â
A beat.
âWhat?â
Itâs not disbelief.
Itâs shock catching up to understanding.
The man pushes past him without waitingâone hand brushing the door wider as he steps inside. His eyes scan the apartment quickly, trained, methodicalâtaking in the dark living room, the closed-in space.
Then the masked man gestures toward the bedroom.
A slight tilt of his head.
Thatâs enough.
The man moves immediately, pace quickening as he crosses the threshold into the bedroomâ
âand stops.
For a second.
Just a second.
Because now he sees you.
Really sees you.
Standing there, too still, shoulders tight, eyes wideânot quite trusting, not quite running.
Shaken.
And then his gaze drops.
Down.
To your ankle.
To the chain.
The metal cuff sits tight around your skinâtoo tight to be new. Thereâs a faint discoloration there, a subtle bruising that wraps just beneath the edge of it. Not fresh. Not accidental.
Worn.
Used.
His expression changes.
Not dramatically.
But enough.
âHeyâhey,â he says immediately, voice lowering, hands coming up slightly in front of him. Not reaching. Not grabbing. Just⊠open. Careful. âItâs okay. Weâre not here to hurt you.â
He slows as he steps closerâdeliberate, giving you space even as he approaches.
âMy name is Agent Ray Nadeem,â he adds, tone steady, grounding. âFBI.â
The name lands.
Recognition flickers before you can stop it.
âYouâre⊠youâre Dexâs partner.â
It comes out quieter than you expect.
He pausesâjust for a fraction of a second.
Then nods. âYeah. I am.â
Something in your chest tightens.
Relief tries to surfaceâbut it doesnât come clean. It catches on something. Hesitation. Doubt. Everything youâve lived in these past days pressing back against it.
Stillâ
itâs something.
âPlease,â you say, your voice unsteady despite yourself. âIâ I needââ
You swallow, forcing the words out.
âI need to get out of here.â
You donât say kidnapped immediately.
Not like before.
The word sticks differently now.
But he understands anyway.
His expression softensânot pitying, but firm. Assured.
âOkay,â he says, nodding once, like heâs locking onto a plan. âOkay. Weâre going to get you somewhere safe. Alright? Youâre okay now.â
He crouches carefully in front of you, his attention shifting fully to the cuff around your ankle. He doesnât touch it right awayâjust looks. Studies it.
His jaw tightens.
âThis isââ he mutters under his breath, more to himself than to you. âThis isnâtââ
He leans in closer, finally reaching out, fingers hovering just beside the metal.
Solid.
Heavy.
Locked clean.
Not improvised.
Not temporary.
ââŠwe need backup,â he says, already reaching into his jacket, pulling his phone free.
âNo.â
The word cuts in from behind him.
Firm.
Controlled.
The masked man has stepped closer again, his attention flicking between the door, the window, the spaceâalways listening.
âWe donât have time,â he continues, quieter now, but sharper. âHeâs not here, but he will be.â
Nadeem frowns, glancing up at him. âIf we call this inâthis is exactly what weâre supposed to do.â
âAnd you know how that plays out,â the masked man replies immediately.
A beat.
âHeâs FBI,â he adds, voice dropping lower. âThis gets reported wrong, it turns on you. On her. On all of this.â
Nadeemâs hand pauses, phone half-raised.
You can see it happening in his face.
The shift.
Procedure⊠against reality.
His grip tightens slightly around the phone.
ââŠthey could bury this,â the masked man presses, quieter still. âOr twist it. You know they could.â
Silence stretches for a second too long.
Nadeem exhales through his nose.
His gaze flicks back to youâdown to the cuff, the bruising, the way youâre standing like you donât quite believe any of this yet.
Then back to the phone.
Slowlyâ
he lowers it.
Not comfortable.
Not confident.
But decided.
ââŠokay,â he says under his breath.
Then, a little louder, more certainââOkay.â
He slips the phone back into his pocket and pushes himself to his feet again.
âIâm going to find something,â he says, already turning, scanning the room. âThere has to be tools here. Something we can use.â
He glances back at you brieflyâsomething apologetic flickering there.
âWeâll get it off,â he adds. âJustâstay with us, alright?â
You nod.
Small.
Automatic.
He moves out toward the kitchen, opening cabinets, drawersâquicker now, but still controlled. Focused.
Searching.
The masked manâs head turns slightly.
Not toward you.
Toward the closet.
Heâs already moving before you realize itâcrossing the room with that same quiet precision, like heâs following something you canât see.
âThe suit,â he says. âItâs here.â
From the kitchen, Agent Nadeem pauses mid-search.
âHow are you so sure?â he calls back, a faint edge of disbelief in his voice.
A beat.
âI can smell it.â
Thereâs a moment of silence.
Then Nadeem reappears in the doorway, a pair of pliers in one hand, a hammer in the other.
âYou can smell the suit?â he repeats, brows pulling together as he steps back into the room.
The tools catch your eye.
Metal.
Heavy.
Your body stills without meaning to.
A small, instinctive freezeâsubtle enough that he doesnât notice, too focused on the masked man already pushing past hanging clothes in the closet.
Fabric shifts on the rail.
Hangers scrape softly.
Thenâ
The safe.
Your breath catches.
Your lips partâjust slightly.
The number sits there, ready.
218.
You could say it.
You could end this faster.
Your throat tightens.
And you donât.
Something holds you backâthin, irrational, stubborn.
The masked man doesnât ask.
He crouches in front of the safe, fingers already moving along the dial, head tilted just slightlyâas if listening.
Behind him, Nadeem exhales.
âYou can crack safes too?â he mutters, half under his breath.
âNot if you keep talking,â the masked man replies flatly.
That shuts him up.
Nadeem shifts his focus back to you instead, crouching near your ankle again. The tools in his hand lower as he studies the chain more closely.
âHey,â he says, quieter now. âIâm going to try to get this off, okay? Just⊠stay still. I wonât hurt you.â
His tone is careful.
Measured.
Trying.
You nod again.
Small.
Your attention flickers back to the closet.
To the safe.
To the man working it.
The dial turns.
Slow.
Precise.
A pauseâ
Thenâ
click.
The sound is soft.
But it cuts through everything.
The door opens.
The masked man stills.
ââŠitâs gone.â
Nadeem looks up immediately. âWhat do you mean, itâs gone?â
âThe suit,â he says, already reaching inside, checking again like the answer might change. âHe had it here.â
Another pause.
âItâs not here now.â
You donât say anything.
You know why.
Dex never keeps it there long.
After he uses it, it disappears somewhere elseârepairs, maintenance, something you were never allowed to see or know about.
But you donât tell them that.
Your silence folds into the room unnoticed.
The masked manâs hand moves again inside the safeâthis time slower.
He pulls something out first.
Your bag.
Your breath stutters.
He tosses the bag toward you without looking.
âPack what you need,â he says. âWeâre leaving soon.â
The bag lands near your feet.
You flinch at the sound more than the motion.
For a second, you just stare at it.
Thenâslowlyâyou reach down and take it.
The masked man shifts back toward the closet, still searching. Still working.
And thatâs when Nadeem speaks again.
Low. Tight.
Not to you.
To him.
âSo what weâve got right now,â he says, exhaling through his nose, âis a psychotic FBI agent whoâs been keeping a woman chained in his apartment.â
A beat.
âThatâs it.â
The words hang there.
Heavy.
Not enough.
Not what he wants.
He drags a hand over his jaw, frustrated now in a quieter way. Controlled, but strained.
âNo connection to the Bulletin attack,â he continues. âNothing tying him to Fiskâs hit list. Nothing that proves heâs Daredevilâif thatâs even what he is.â
Your body stills at the name.
Bulletin.
Attack.
Fisk.
It takes a moment for your mind to stitch it together.
Thenâ
Dex.
Your throat tightens.
Dex⊠attacking the Bulletin?
The idea doesnât sit right at first.
It doesnât fit the version of him youâve been holding onto in pieces.
But the words are already in the room.
Real.
Unavoidable.
The masked man doesnât look back.
Heâs already moving again, pulling the shoebox closer, rifling through it with sharper intent now.
âWeâve got her,â he says simply.
Like that changes the equation.
His head tilts slightly toward youâjust enough to acknowledge your presence without softening it.
âSheâs proof,â he continues. âLiving, breathing proof that heâs been impersonating Daredevil.â
Your stomach drops.
Impersonating.
Not Daredevil.
Not what you thought.
Something worse. Something deliberate.
Your fingers tighten around your bag strap without you noticing.
Around you, the apartment feels different now.
Smaller.
Colder.
Nadeem finally looks at you properly.
Not as someone to rescue.
Not just as a victim.
But as something heavier than that.
Something useful.
Something that carries weight beyond you.
His expression shiftsâjust slightly.
Recognition of what you represent.
Evidence.
A key.
You feel it then.
The shift in how the room holds you.
The way your silence now means something different to them than it did a minute ago.
The masked man turns back to the safe.
âStill need more,â he mutters.
His hand moves inside again.
Thenâ
he freezes.
A pause.
Then pulls something else out.
A shoe box.
Wood and cardboard, worn at the edges like itâs been handled too many times for something meant to stay hidden.
The masked man takes a few steps back and opens it without ceremony.
Insideâ
a cassette player.
Tapes.
Neatly stacked. Labeled.
Nadeem straightens, shifting away from your ankle for now, drawn toward what the masked man has found.
âWhat are those?â he asks, nodding toward the box.
The masked man doesnât answer.
He opens it.
Pulls out a tape.
Slides it into the cassette player.
Presses play.
The soft hiss of static fills the room.
You donât stay to listen.
You already know.
You grab your bag and move toward the closet instead, your steps quick but quiet, your mind racing ahead of your body.
Part 3 here<<<<<<<<<<<
AN: Recently I watched Bones and All and Call me by your name for inspo and guys. I can't tell you how much I am in love with those two films. To show my love for Luca Guadagnino, I added Love my Way in this chapter. If you've watched Call me by your Name. I think you would be able to spot the easter egg.
Summary: Better to be a dead bird than to be a flea in a jar.Â
C.w: Kidnapping/captivity, psychological manipulation, unhealthy attachment, violence, gun violence, blood/injury, implied murder, stalking/surveillance, panic attacks, emotional dependency, dissociation, morally disturbing behavior, toxic romance dynamics.Â
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The window gives with a sharp crack.
Dex is already moving before the sound settlesâone hand braced against the frame, the other dragging himself through, boots landing hard against the floor. The glass rattles behind him. He doesnât look back.
Red.
Everything is still red.
The mask comes off in a rough motion, dragged up and over, catching briefly before he yanks it free. Air hits his faceâcool, sharpâbut it doesnât clear anything. His vision still pulses wrong. Too narrow. Too loud.
Karen Page.
Still out there.
The thought snaps through him again, jagged.
It was supposed to be simple.
Locate. Confirm. Execute.
Done.
Insteadâ
interference.
Obstacles.
Noise where there shouldnât have been any.
Now sheâs gone.
His jaw tightens.
Fisk is going toâ
No.
Donât think about that.
Not yet.
His hand hits the bedside table, the mask droppingâno, thrownâonto it. It skids, knocks into a stack of books. They tip. Slide. Fall.
The sound grates.
Too much.
Too many things out of place.
âFuckââ
His arm sweeps across the surface without thinking. Books, glass, anything thereâgone. It clatters to the floor in a scatter that feels too slow, too loud, too controlled for whatâs inside his chest.
He needsâ
Something to break.
Something to stop the pressure building behind his ribs.
His fingers flex, tightening, loosening. Not enough. Not enough.
Needâ
âDex?â
It cuts through everything.
Not loud.
Not sharp.
But precise.
His head turns immediately.
Sheâs thereâstanding in the corner of the room, still, small in a way that doesnât match what he knows she is. Her eyes are wide, fixed on him. Taking him in.
For a second, he just looks.
Breath still uneven. Shoulders tight.
Thenâ
he moves.
Fast.
Crossing the space in a few strides, closing the distance before anything else can get in the way. His hands find herâarms, shouldersâpulling her in, hard, immediate, like locking something into place.
She makes a small soundâair leaving her lungsâbut he doesnât loosen his grip.
He canât.
His arms wrap around her, pulling her flush against him, anchoring. Holding.
There.
There.
The noise in his head doesnât stopâbut it shifts. Dulls at the edges. The sharpness pulling inward, focusing instead of scattering.
His breath comes out rough against her shoulder.
Closer.
He needs her closer.
His grip tightens without meaning to.
Sheâs still for a second.
Thenâslowlyâher hands come up. Hesitant. Light at first, touching his back like sheâs testing something fragile.
Then settling.
A small, repetitive motion.
Not precise. Not practiced.
But enough.
It works.
The pressure inside his chest eases, increment by increment, like something finally locking into alignment.
He breathes.
In.
Out.
Again.
Time stretches.
He doesnât count it. Doesnât need to.
Just stays there, holding her, until the edge inside him dulls into something he can contain.
When he pulls back, itâs gradual.
Reluctant.
His hands donât leave her shoulders. They stay there, fingers pressing just enough to keep contact, to make sure sheâs still there, still real.
Her gaze drops almost immediately.
Not meeting his.
Her hands rest against his armsâlight. Not pushing. Not pulling.
He doesnât read into it.
Not now, not like this.
His focus shifts.
Down.
Her shirt.
Thereâs blood on it.
Blood from his suit.
Dark against the fabric.
He notices it before anything else fully settlesâthe smear of red across your shirt, the way it isnât contained, the way itâs out of place. Some of it higher, near her collar.Â
Her neck.
His breath is still uneven, the noise still echoing in his head, but thisâthis pulls it into focus.
A detail.
A problem.
His gaze locks.
Thereâs a brief, sharp flicker of somethingâirritation, miscalculation. He didnât account for that. It wasnât supposed to transfer. Itâs sloppy.
His hand lifts.
Automatic.
Thumb angling toward your skin to wipe it clean, to correct it, to fix whatâs wrongâ
and then it stops.
Midway.
Not hesitation.
Adjustment.
Something clicks.
Heâs seen this before.
Not exactly this. Not blood like this, not like tonightâbut the shape of it. The sequence. A man noticing something on a womanâs skin. The shift that follows. The correction. The way the moment turns into something softer. Controlled. Close.
This is what comes next.
His fingers hover for a fraction longer before lowering, the action redirectedânot abandoned, just⊠replaced.
A breath leaves him. It almost sounds like a laugh, but it isnât. Itâs too thin, too deliberate.
âGuessâŠâ he says, voice rough, and he works to smooth it, to place it correctly, to match what he remembers, âwe have to take a shower together now.â
It fits.
The line fits the situation.
The transition makes sense.
He watches her closely after he says itâwaiting, not for emotion, but for confirmation. For alignment. For the response that tells him he chose correctly.
She looks at him.
Thereâs a beatâjust long enough to register, not long enough to disrupt.
Thenâ
âOkay.â
The answer settles something in his chest.
Not relief.
Resolution.
He nods once, small, contained. Thatâs enough. The moment has direction again. Structure.
He turns immediately, already moving, already stepping into the next part of it.
âIâll get the water ready.â
His voice is steadier now. Even. Functional.
The bathroom light hums faintly as he turns the tap, adjusting the temperature with careful precision. Too hot and it burns. Too cold and it shocks. Thereâs a correct range. Thereâs always a correct range.
Behind himâ
You didnât follow immediately.
Your fingers curl slightly at your side.
You stand there, still in the middle of the room, and your gaze driftsâslow, carefulânot towards the mess on the floor, not the scattered books or the broken lamp. Not to the cracked candy bowl he bought for you a few days ago. No..
But towards the hallway.
Toward the front door.
Where, just minutes ago, you slid the yellow file back into place.
Exactly where it had been.
Exactly how it had been.
You think.
Your chest tightens, just a little.
Was it angled the same way?
Was it too straight?
Would he notice?
Would heâ
âHey.â
His voice cuts through from the bathroom.
âThe waterâs ready.â
You blink.
The moment snaps shut.
Your face settles back into something neutral before you move.
You step toward the bathroom, pushing the door open wider as you enter.
Steam is already starting to gather, thin against the mirror.
Heâs standing near the tub, back turned, adjusting the temperature.
You stop just inside the doorway.
Thereâs a brief pause.
Then, evenlyâ
âYou have to take off my ankle cuff.â
He stills.
Just for a second.
Thenâ
âOh.â
Like he genuinely hadnât thought of it.
âRight.â
His tone is almost absent.
Casual.
Like itâs nothing.
Like itâs always been nothing.
He turns toward you, already reaching for you, already closing the distance againâas if this, too, is just part of the routine.
As if nothing has changed.
As if everything is exactly where it should be.
For nowâ
You let him believe it.Â
When you step into the bathroom, the first thing that hits you is the heat.
Steam already clings to the air, softening the edges of everythingâmirror, tile, light. The shower is running.
Full.
Constant.
Dex is already inside.
You canât see him clearly at first. Only the vague outline behind the fogged curtain, water streaming down in heavy, unbroken lines. A shadow made of movement.
In the corner of the bathroom, his suit lies discarded in a wet, crumpled heap. Dark fabric. Heavy. Wrong in a space thatâs suddenly too soft, too domestic.
Your gaze catches on it briefly.
Then drifts.
To the curtain.
To the faint, scattered droplets of red clinging to the plastic surface.
Not much.
But enough.
Your thoughts tighten immediately around it.
Mustâve gotten there when he was washing it off.
You look away.
You donât want to see it.
Not red.
Not tonight.
Not after the yellow file.
You move without thinking about it too long.
Clothes come off one piece at a time, falling quietly to the floor. Fabric against tile. Soft, final sounds that disappear under the steady noise of water.
Until thereâs nothing left but you.
Bare.
Still.
The cold air raises goosebumps along your skin almost immediately.
Your fingers hover for a second near the light switch.
Then flip it.
The bathroom goes dark.
For a fraction of a second, the only sound is the waterâ
and then it changes.
A pause.
A shift.
Dex stops moving.
Not fully visible, but you hear it in the way the water pattern breaks for half a beat, like his body has gone still under it.
âSomething wrong?â he asks.
His voice is muted through the curtain. Controlled, but cautious.
You hesitate just long enough to register the question.
Thenâ
âNo,â you say quietly. âThe light was bothering me.â
A beat.
Then a small sound of acknowledgment.
A nod, even if you canât see it.
âOkay.â
You step closer.
The curtain rustles slightly as you reach for it.
Then you pull it aside.
Cold air meets steam.
And you step in.
The space is tighter than you expect.
Water hits your skin immediatelyâwarm, constant, grounding in a way that almost feels like pressure instead of comfort.
For a moment, neither of you speak.
Just the sound of water and breath.
Dex is facing slightly away at first, shoulders tense under the stream. Then he shifts just enough to register your presence fully.
âYou okay?â he asks again, quieter this time.
âIâm fine,â you murmur.
Your hand lifts before you fully decide where itâs going.
It lands on his back.
Between his shoulder blades.
He stiffens instantly.
A sharp inhale pulls through him.
Not from surprise.
From recognition.
Pain.
You feel it under your palm before he even says anythingâthe way his body reacts around something already injured.
The memory hits him faster than words.
The fall.
The impact.
The landing.
His breath catches.
ââsorry,â he says quickly, like it matters to correct something. Like he needs to reset the moment. âThat Iâm late today. Field work ran longer than I thought.â
Itâs not just an explanation.
Itâs an attempt.
To close distance.
To fix the shift he feels but doesnât fully understand.
âItâs alright,â you say.
Flat. Soft. No resistance.
Your fingers move again.
Down his spine.
Slow.
Tracing muscle, bone, the subtle tension held beneath skin. When you press a little harder at a certain point, he flinchesâsmall, involuntary.
A sound slips out of him.
Not words.
Just reaction.
His hands brace against the tile wall without him fully deciding to. A grounding instinct. Fingers spread. Shoulders tight.
âY/Nââ
Your hand doesnât stop.
Instead, your voice cuts in first.
âDo you ever think about your family?âÂ
The question lands differently here.
In the steam.
In the dark.
Dex goes still.
Not dramatically.
Just enough that the change is noticeable.
ââŠnot really.âÂ
You trace upward slowly, following the line of his spine, deliberateâmeasuredâuntil your fingers reach the nape of his neck.
He shudders.
A small, involuntary reaction.
You feel it.
âI think about mine all the time,â you murmur.
Your fingers press lightly against a bruise forming near his shoulder. Not enough to break him. Enough for him to feel it.
Your thumb presses lightly into the space between his neck and shoulderâright where the bruise is beginning to form.
Not enough to injure.
Just enough to register.
His breath tightens.
âBut mostly my dad.â
Another press.
Subtle.
Controlled.
âHeâs all I have.â
Dex swallows.
The movement is visible even from behind.
You continue before he can respond.
âHe was all I had after my momâŠ.died.â
Your fingers drift lower, then return again to that same sore pointâtesting the reaction, holding it just a second longer.
âHeâs really all I have left.â
That does it.
Dex freezes.
Not in panic.
Not in guilt.
In absence.
Like the script doesnât load.
The silence stretches just long enough to mean something.
And in that spaceâ
someone watching might fill it in wrong.
Dex finally speaks.
ââŠIâm sorry.â
The words come out slower this time.
Placed carefully.
âIâm sorry to hear that.â
A pause.
Then, like heâs completing something he knows should be there.
âThat must have been hard.â
Another beat.
ââŠreally hard.â
Behind him, you let out the smallest breath.
Not relief.
Not quite frustration either.
Something quieter.
More final.
âItâs fine,â you say.
Too easily.
âDeathâs like that, isnât it?â
Your hand slides down his back, trailing over muscle and heat, until your fingers reach his ribsâwhere another bruise is forming.
You press.
His breath hitches.
Sharp.
Contained.
âIt just shows up one day,â you continue softly, like youâre talking about the weather. âAt your door.â
A little more pressure.
âDoesnât ask.â
Dexâs grip tightens against the tile.
âJust takes.â
Your hand moves again.
Lower.
To his hip.
You find it without lookingâthe place where the impact must have settled deepest, where the bruise is still forming beneath the skinâand press your thumb in.
Slow.
Deliberate.
Dexâs entire body tightens around it.
A sharp intake of breath cuts through the steady sound of water. His fingers splay harder against the tile, joints locking, tendons standing out along the back of his hand as he braces himself upright.
He doesnât pull away.
Doesnât stop you.
His head dips forward a fraction instead, jaw clenching, like heâs choosing to hold still through itâlike the sensation is something he needs to endure, or maybe something heâs trying to understand.
A strained sound slips out of him despite that effort. Low. Contained. Not quite a groanâsomething caught between restraint and release.
You donât ease up.
âMy dad used to call me,â you say.
Even.
Measured.
âIn the evenings.â
Your thumb presses againâfirmer this time, grinding slightly into the bruise.
Dex exhales through his teeth. His shoulders tense, then hold there, rigid under the stream of water.
âRight after work.â
Another press.
His breath stuttersâloses rhythm for a second before he forces it back under control, like heâs trying to match it to something steady.
You continue.
âSome days I didnât pick up.â
That catches him.
âWhy not?â
The question comes too quickly.
Too clean.
Too practical.
It slices straight through the space youâre building.
You donât answer.
Not immediately.
Your hand drifts again, slow, deliberate, never fully leaving himâtracing the edge of the injury like youâre mapping it, like youâre deciding how much more he can take.
He waits.
You can feel it in the way his body holdsâsuspended, expectant.
You let him stay there.
Thenâ
âDo you think he still calls?â
Your voice lowers.
Softer now.
Almost thoughtful.
âWould he still be there⊠on the other end?â
A pause.
âWondering where his daughter is?â
Dex doesnât move.
Doesnât turn.
But under your hand, something shiftsânot physically, but in the tension heâs holding. Like his body is trying to keep still while something in him scrambles.
You can feel the effort of it.
Not feeling.
Constructing.
âI donât think he would keep calling,â he says finally.
Carefully.
Measured.
âNot if thereâs no response.â
A beat.
âPeople stop after a while.â
It lands.
Clean.
Logical.
Wrong.
Your hand stills against him.
For a moment, you say nothing.
Thenâ
you pull away.
The absence is immediate.
Where your hand had beenâpressure, heat, something to focus onâthereâs nothing now. Just water. Just air.
Dex feels it before he understands it.
His back shiftsâalmost unconsciously at first, like his body is trying to lean into something that isnât there anymore. His shoulders draw back a fraction, then forward again, searching for that point of contact you just took with you.
Even after the pain.
Especially after the pain.
He misses it.
His fingers flex against the tile, grip tightening, then loosening as if heâs recalibrating. His breath changesâshallower for a second, like something has been interrupted mid-pattern.
He turns slightly, not fullyâjust enough that he might catch you through the steam.
âWhatââ
The word doesnât finish.
He doesnât know how to finish it.
You step forward before he can try again.
Close the distance.
And wrap your arms around him.
Sudden.
Soft.
But not careless.
You press into him fully this timeâyour body fitting against his, arms tightening around his torso with a firmness that almost contradicts the gentleness of the movement. Your cheek finds his chest, just beneath the steady fall of water, where the heat of him is strongest.
You hold him like youâre anchoring yourself.
Or like youâre memorizing the shape of him.
Dex goes rigid for half a second.
The shift is immediateâhis body caught between reacting and recalculating.
Thenâ
he returns it.
His arms come around you, slower but firm, pulling you in, pressing you closer as if closing that last bit of space matters more than anything else.
Not questioning.
Not understanding.
Just⊠holding.
Because thisâ
this he recognizes.
This fits.
His grip settles, solid, almost grounding, one hand pressing flat against your back, the other tightening just slightly at your side as if to make sure you stay where you are.
You donât loosen your hold.
If anything, your arms tighten a fraction moreâsubtle, but deliberate.
Like youâre allowing yourself this once.
Like you know something he doesnât.
You press your face more firmly against his chest, listening.
His heartbeat.
Fast.
Steady.
Real.
It fills the space between you.
And inside your headâ
quietly, without voiceâ
the decision settles.
Soon.
You will have to leave soon.
A few hours earlierâ
The yellow file sits in your hands like it weighs more than paper should.
Your fingers tighten around it without meaning to. The edge crinkles softly beneath your grip, the sound small but sharp in the quiet of the room.
You donât open it.
Not at first.
It isnât yours.
It wasnât meant for you.
You know that.
You should put it back. Slide it under the door again. Pretend you never saw it. Pretend it never came.
Yet.
Your thumb presses against the flap.
Thenâ
you open it.
The seal isnât even sealed. Just tucked in, careless. Easy.
Too easy.
You slip your fingers inside and pull.
A thin stack of papers comes freeâand with them, a scatter of photographs slips loose, sliding from between the pages and dropping onto the floor.
The sound is soft.
But it lands wrong.
You flinch anyway.
For a second, you just stare at them where theyâve fallen.
Then you kneel.
Your knees press against the hardwood, cold even through the thin fabric of your pants, as you reach for the nearest photo.
You turn it over.
A man.
Mid-step. Caught in motion, like he didnât know the picture was being taken. One hand half-raised, mouth open as if heâd been speaking to someone just out of frame.
You frown.
You donât recognize him.
Another photo.
A woman this time. Sitting at a table. Her head tipped slightly toward someone across from her, a faint smile caught at the edge of her mouth. A glass in her hand. A plate in front of her.
Dinner.
Normal.
You pick up another.
And another.
Different people.
Different places.
All of them unaware.
All of them⊠living.
A crease forms between your brows.
You donât understand.
Not yet.
Your hand reaches for the papers.
You shouldnâtâ
You already have.
You pull one free.
Your eyes scan itâ
and then stop.
Names.
Rows of them.
Structured.
Categorized.
Your gaze flicks down.
Affiliations. Positions. Notes.
Agent. State police. Attorney.
Family member.
Your breath catches.
You flip to the next page.
More names.
More details.
A pattern begins to formâquiet, clinical, undeniable.
These arenât random.
These are people tied to something.
Working against something.
Againstâ
Your stomach tightens.
You donât want to say it.
You donât need to.
Another page.
This one is different.
Less information.
More⊠instruction.
Your eyes move across it before you could stop yourself.
Your hand tightens around the paper.
The words donât change.
They donât soften.
Like someone wrote down groceries.
Like it is normal to instruct someoneâs death.
Like this is⊠routine.
Your breathing slows.
Not calmer.
Thinner.
You flip back.
Faster now.
Your eyes scan the earlier pages againâmore carefully this time.
And then you see it.
Next to some of the names.
A single word.
Typed.
Neat.
Unemotional.
Terminated.
Your gaze lingers on it.
The word feels wrong in your head.
Detached.
Clean.
Your throat tightens.
Your fingers tremble slightly where they hold the page.
You look down at the photos scattered across the floor.
At the man mid-sentence.
At the woman at dinner.
At anotherâsomeone walking out of a building, keys still in hand.
They werenât looking.
They didnât know.
You reach for one more photo.
Your fingers hesitate before turning it over.
A woman.
Seated at a table.
The angle is distant. Taken from somewhere across the room.
Sheâs laughing.
Thereâs a child beside herâsmall, leaning into her arm, holding something up for her to see.
Another figure across from them.
A family.
The moment is frozen in that frameâwarm, ordinary, alive.
Your grip tightens.
On the back of the photoâ
a name.
Your stomach drops.
âNoââ
It slips out under your breath.
Barely a sound.
You shake your head once.
Then again.
You canâtâ
You canât keep looking.
Your hands move quickly now, clumsy in their urgency as you gather the papers, shoving them back into the file without order, without care. The photos followâsome bent slightly at the corners as you push them in, forcing the flap closed like that might undo what youâve already seen.
Your chest rises too fast.
Too shallow.
âI canât⊠I canâtââ
Your voice doesnât finish.
Your eyes dart toward the door.
The room feels smaller.
Tighter.
Wrong.
You push yourself to your feet too quickly, the motion unsteady as your balance catches half a second too late.
You have to get out.
You have toâ
Tell someone.
Do something.
This isnâtâ
This isnât something you should stay in.
Your gaze snaps to the closet.
The safe.
Your breath stutters.
You move.
Fast.
The door swings open harder than you intend, the hinge giving a soft protest as you drop to your knees in front of the safe.
Your hands fumble for the folded paper tucked in the corner.
You find it.
The pen.
The numbers.
Thatâs where you stopped.
You stare at it for half a secondâ
then move.
The dial turns under your fingersâtoo fast at first, slipping slightly before you correct it.
Nothing.
Your movements grow sharper.
Faster.
Less precise.
Your breath is loud in your ears now, uneven, breaking between numbers as you push through them.
Beforeâ
this had been a thought.
An option.
Something distant.
Nowâ
itâs urgency.
Nowâ
it matters.
Because thisâ
this isnât a mistake.
This isnât a misunderstanding.
This is what he does.
This is what he is.
Your hand tightens on the dial.
If he can do thisâ
if he can look at a list like thatâ
if he can see a woman sitting with her child and reduce it to a line on a pageâ
thenâ
Your breath catches.
He wonât hesitate.
Not with you.
Not whenâ
Not ifâ
When you becomeâ
inconvenient.
Your fingers slip slightly.
You steady them.
Keep going.
The numbers blur.
But you donât stop.
You canât.
Not anymore.
Because whatever you thought this wasâ
whatever you let yourself believeâ
it isnât safety.
It isnât connection.
It isnâtâ
anything you can survive.
Your hand tremblesâbut the movement doesnât slow.
If he can kill themâ
like thatâ
Then he can kill you.
Just as easily.
Just as clean.
Just asâ
finished.
You swallow hard.
Keep turning.
And for the first time since the file touched your handsâ
you stop thinking about staying.
Nowâ
youâre trying to leave.
Time loses its shape somewhere between numbers.
You donât know how long youâve been hereâkneeling on the closet floor, shoulder pressed to the wall, fingers turning and turning and turning.
Somewhere out there, the clock is ticking to pass ten.
Your stomach aches faintly.
Hunger.
You ignore it.
It doesnât matter.
Not now.
Your fingers ache worse.
The pads of them feel raw from the constant motion, from gripping the dial too tightly, from slipping and correcting and starting again.
You donât stop.
You canât.
You stare at the paper in your lap.
153 is crossed out.
Everything after itâmessy. Rushed. Numbers bleeding into one another.
You swallow.
Turn the dial.
Your breath catches slightly.
One more.
You donât expect anything.
Not really.
Your fingers move out of habit more than hope as you align the number andâ
click.
You freeze.
Completely.
The sound is small.
Quiet.
But it splits through everything.
You donât move.
Your hand stays on the dial like you imagined it.
Like if you breathe too hard itâll undo itself.
ââŠwaitââ
It comes out under your breath.
Barely there.
You try the handle.
It gives.
Just like that.
The safe door opens.
For a second, you just stare at it.
Open.
Actually open.
Your heart slams hard against your ribsâtoo fast, too suddenâlike your body is only just catching up.
You move.
Fast.
Too fast.
Your hands reach inside, searching blindly before your eyes can even focusâ
and then you see it.
Your bag.
Your shoulder bag.
Right there.
You grab it immediately, pulling it out like it might disappear if you hesitate. The zipper catches for half a second before you drag it openâ
Everything is inside.
Your keys.
Your wallet.
Your water bottle.
Your cracked mirrorâ
You donât care.
You dig deeperâ
Your phone.
Your breath stops.
ââoh my godââ
You grab it, hands shaking now as you press the power button.
The screen flickers.
Slow.
Too slow.
Come on.
Come onâ
It lights up.
1%.
âShit.â
The word slips out, sharp and breathless.
Your mind races.
Police.
You should call the police.
You shouldâ
You freeze.
Dex is an FBI agent.
The thought cuts through everything.
Cold.
Wrong.
Heâll know.
Heâll twist it.
Heâllâ
You donât trust it.
You donât trust any of it.
Your thumb moves anyway, opening your contacts.
Scrolling.
Too fast.
Names blur.
You stop.
Dad.
You press it immediately.
The phone rings.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
âCome onâcome on dad, pleaseââ
Your voice is already breaking.
Four.
Five.
Nothing.
No answer.
âNoâno, noâpleaseââ
Your chest tightens, breath coming too fast now as panic starts to crawl up your throat.
Pick up.
Pick up.
Pick upâ
It doesnât.
The call ends.
Silence.
Your hand trembles.
You stare at the screen like it betrayed you.
âPleaseâŠâ
It doesnât change anything.
You scroll again.
You donât even know what youâre looking for anymoreâ
And thenâ
Juli.
Missed calls.
More than one.
Your breath catches.
âSheââ
She tried.
She remembers.
You press call.
Immediately.
The dial tone hums in your ear and your free hand comes up to your mouth without thinking.
âPlease, please, pleaseââ
The words tumble out under your breath, frantic, uneven.
It rings.
Once.
Twiceâ
âHello?â
Your eyes squeeze shut.
âJuliââ
Your voice cracks on her name.
ââoh my godâJuliââ
âY/N?âwaitâoh my god, are you okay? Where are you?ââ
The sound of her voiceâ
real, alive, not himâ
hits you all at once.
Your throat tightens painfully.
âIâno, Iâmââ
Your words stumble, breath catching as something in your chest finally breaks loose.
Youâre so close.
Youâre soâ
âMy dadââ
The thought slams into you mid-sentence.
âMy dadâJoshua Weaversâheâs a reporter at the New York Bulletinâheâheâs okay, right? Is heâ?â
Thereâs a pause on the line.
Short.
But it feels long.
âIâI heard there were casualties,â Juli says quickly. âSome of the reporters got hurtâtheyâre at State Hospital, I thinkâI donât know how bad, butâhe might be thereâwait, where are you? Youâre reported missingââ
Relief and fear collide in your chest so hard it almost makes you dizzy.
Heâs alive.
Heâsâ
âIâmâyes, I am, Iâm kidnappedââ
The word feels unreal even as you say it.
ââby DexâBenjamin Poindexterââ
Silence.
It drops suddenly.
Heavy.
Too heavy.
âJuli?â
Nothing.
Your stomach twists.
âWhy arenât youââ
You glance down.
The screen goes black.
âNoââ
You press the button again.
Nothing.
âNoâno, no, noââ
Dead.
Your breath stutters.
âFuckââ
Youâre already moving.
Too fast.
Too frantic.
You push yourself up, scanning the room like something might appear if you just look hard enough.
Charger.
There has to be a charger.
You rush to the bedside table, hands grabbing the handle of the drawer and pullingâ
It doesnât open.
You blink.
Try again.
Harder.
Nothing.
Locked.
âShitââ
You yank it again.
Nothing.
âCome onââ
You pull harder, the wood rattling slightly but not giving.
âCome on!â
Frustration spikes sharp and hot and you kick the drawerâ
Pain shoots up your foot instantly.
ââahâ!â
You stumble back, dropping down hard onto the floor, clutching your toes as the ache pulses through you.
âFuckââ
Your voice cracks.
The room feels too small again.
Too tight.
Too late.
I was so close.
You press your forehead to your arm, shoulders shaking as the tears hit all at once.
Not quiet.
Not controlled.
Ugly.
Raw.
You were so close.
She heard youâ
Did she hear you?
Did she understand?
Did sheâ
âWhy didnât I justââ
Your thoughts tangle, unraveling mid-sentence.
Why didnât you call the police?
Why didnât youâ
You donât even know.
Your chest heaves.
Your hands shake.
Everything feels wrong again.
Too fast.
Too much.
You drag in a breath that doesnât help.
Another.
Still not enough.
And thenâ
your gaze shifts.
Back to the closet.
The safe.
Still open.
Waiting.
You stare at it through blurred vision.
Your grip on your foot loosens slowly.
ââŠfine.â
Your voice is hoarse.
Unsteady.
But quieter now.
Colder.
You push yourself up.
Wipe at your face with the back of your hand.
If the outside wonât come to youâ
Then you dig deeper.
Into him.
Into this.
Into whatever else heâs hidden.
The safe hangs open in front of you.
For a moment, you just stare into itâlike it might close again if you move too fast. Like this is something temporary. Something borrowed.
Then your hand reaches in.
Cold metal meets your fingers.
You pull it out slowly.
A gun.
Heavier than you expected.
Your grip adjusts instinctively, fingers tightening around it as if that might make it feel more natural in your hand. It doesnât. The weight drags at your wrist, unfamiliar, wrong.
You donât know if itâs loaded.
You donât check.
You just⊠hold it.
Your thumb brushes along the side. The shape of it. The reality of it.
Your mind flickersâ
If Iâ
The thought forms too quickly.
Too clean.
If I just wait. If he comes in. If Iâ
You swallow.
Your hand lowers slightly.
No.
The word comes just as fast.
I canât.
Not because you donât understand what it would solve.
But becauseâ
I donât want to be that.
Your fingers loosen.
You place the gun back inside the safe.
Carefully.
Like it might react if you donât.
Your eyes linger for half a secondâ
then shift.
Thereâs more inside.
A shoebox.
Worn at the edges. Out of place among the metal and the weaponry.
You pull it out and set it in your lap, lowering yourself to the floor without thinking.
The lid lifts easily.
Insideâ
cassette tapes.
Stacked.
Labeled.
Neatly.
A small player sits tucked beside them.Â
Your fingers hover over the tapes, brushing lightly against the plastic cases.
 Some labels make sense.Â
Dates. Times. Others donât.Â
Just fragments of words. Notes that mean nothing without context.Â
Your gaze settles on one.Â
First Recording.Â
Your thumb presses along the edge of the case. You hesitate.
This isnât yours.
None of this is.
Butâ
youâre already here.
Already past the point of turning back.
You slide the tape out, the plastic catching slightly before giving, and slot it into the player. The mechanism accepts it with a soft, final click.
Too easy.
You pull the headphones over your ears.
Thenâ
you press play.
A soft hiss fills your ears.
Static.
Low. Constant.
Thenâ
a voice.
Warm.
Measured.
Professional.
âHello, Benjamin. Itâs nice to meet you. Iâm Doctor Mercer.â
The sound feels⊠close. Too close. Like youâre sitting in the room with them.
Thereâs a pause.
Fabric shifting. A chair, maybe.
Thenâ
another voice.
Smaller.
Clear.
Flat in a way that doesnât belong to a child.
âDex. My name is Dex.â
No hesitation.
No softness.
Just correction.
A beat.
Doctor Mercer again, gentle, accommodating.
âOhâmy mistake. Dex, then. Thatâs a good name. It makes you very distinct.â
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Summary: Fighting my way up to your tongue so I could die up on it. And show you what it really means to need somebody. Beyond their body.
Cw : kidnapping / confinement, control & coercion, violence (including choking), sexual themes & blurred consent, psychological dependency, self-destructive behavior, internalized shameÂ
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A faint shift passes over your faceâsubtle, but there. Softer, maybe. Or just⊠further away.
âHe would tell me about my mom,â you continue. âBack when they were in art school together.â
Your lips press together briefly.
âThings I didnât know. Small things.â A quiet breath. âThe way she used to be. The places she liked. What she was like before me.â
Your fingers pause mid-motion.
âI liked that,â you admit.
A beat.
âMore than the sex.â
The water settles around your hands again.
You donât look at Dex when you say it.
You donât need to.
Thereâs a stretch of quiet before you move on, your tone shiftingâlighter now, almost like youâre stepping away from something before it gets too close.
âTurns out he wasnât divorced,â you say.
A faint, breathless soundâalmost a laugh, but not quite.
âJust⊠in a very complicated relationship.â
Your fingers dip slightly beneath the surface this time, the water closing over them.
âOne day,â you continue, âhis wife showed up.â
You say it like youâre introducing a detail in a story youâve told before.
Not important.
Just⊠what happened next.
âShe didnât say much at first,â you go on, gaze unfocused now, fixed somewhere in the water but not really seeing it. âJust looked at me. Then at him.â
A small pause.
âThen she grabbed me.â
Your hand lifts unconsciously, brushing lightly along your own arm as if remembering the motion rather than the feeling.
âBy the hair,â you add, almost helpfully. âWhichâhonestlyâI didnât even realize people actually do outside of movies.â
A quiet, self-deprecating breath escapes you.
âShe dragged me out into the hallway and down the stairs like sheâs announcing a harlot.â
Your tone doesnât change.
Still even.
Still distant.
âI remember thinking I should probably say something,â you admit. âBut I didnât really know what to say.â
A faint tilt of your head, like youâre still puzzling it out.
âShe was yelling. At me. At him. I think mostly at him.â A pause. âBut I was the one she had.â
Your fingers press lightly against the edge of the tub now.
Groundingâbut not quite.
âI think she hit me a few times,â you continue, almost thoughtfully. âOr maybe more than a few. Itâs a little blurry.â
A small shrug of one shoulder.
âI remember the stairs more than anything.â
Another quiet breath.
âThey got black and white checker tiles. I remember that.â
After a moment, you added.
âI think I loosened a tooth,â
A faint, crooked smile tugs at your lips.
âOr maybe it fell out later. I donât remember exactly from how much blood I was spilling on those dam checker floor boards.â
You exhale softly through your nose.
âItâs kind of⊠embarrassing, when you think about it.â
The smile lingers just slightlyâself-directed, dismissive.
Like itâs easier to laugh at it than to sit with what it actually was.
Dexâs reaction is immediate.
His jaw tightens.
Hard.
The muscles shift visibly under his skin, his posture changingânot relaxed anymore.
Focused.
âWho was he?â he asks.
You look at him then.
Really look.
At the way his eyes have darkened slightly in the dim light, the way something in him has narrowed, honed itself into something pointed.
You know that look.
Youâve seen it before.
You remember the name.
Clearly.
But you donât say it.
Instead, you smileâsmall, easy.
âI donât remember,â you say.
A lie.
Obvious.
Dex studies you.
Silent.
Assessing.
Thenâ
his hands find you again.
Not tentative.
Not questioning.
They close around you with quiet certainty, pulling you inânot upright this time, not held against himâbut down, repositioning you across him like something that belongs in his space.
Your body shifts with the movement, the bathwater sloshing softly against porcelain as he guides you.
Sideways.
Your hip settles against his thigh, your legs folding slightly to fit within the narrow curve of the tub. One of his arms comes around your waist, anchoring you there; the other slides higher, bracing across your back, holding you in place without pressing you flat.
You end up half-draped across him.
Your cheek finds his chest almost naturally.
Warm.
Damp.
Solid beneath your skin.
You let yourself rest there.
The water settles.
And thenâ
you hear it.
His heartbeat.
Not slow.
Not calm.
It thuds beneath your earâsteady, but too strong, too present. Like something held in place rather than eased into it.
Alive.
Grounding.
His arm tightens slightly around you.
Like he needs to make sure youâre still there.
âIâd do anything for you,â he says.
His voice is low, closeâfelt more than heard, vibrating faintly through his chest where your cheek rests.
Thereâs no softness in it.
No attempt to make it sound like comfort.
Itâs not a promise meant to soothe.
Itâs a statement. Plain. Certain.
âIf you wanted something,â he continues, quieter now, like heâs choosing the words as he goes, âIâd make it happen.â
His hand shifts slightly at your side, fingers pressing inânot painful, just enough to remind you of their presence.
âI donât care what it is.â
A small pause.
Thenâ
âI can kill for you.â
The words donât rise.
They donât drop.
They land exactly where they are.
âI can take things. Make things happen. I can hurt people.â
Another breath.
Measured.
âI can do whatever needs to be done.â
His arm tightens again, more noticeably this time.
Not enough to hurt.
Enough to hold.
âFor you,â he adds.
A beat.
âIf thatâs what you want.â
Your cheek stays pressed to him.
You donât move.
You just listen.
His heartbeat doesnât slow.
âIf it meant youâd stay,â he says thenâquieter, but sharper in a way the rest wasnât. âIf thatâs what it takesâthen thatâs what Iâll do.â
There it is.
Not hidden.
Not dressed up.
Just laid out, plain and immovable.
âIâll give you whatever you ask for,â he finishes. âAnything.â
A small pause.
His grip doesnât loosen.
âJust donât leave.â
Silence follows.
The water laps faintly at the sides of the tub.
Your fingers rest lightly against his skin, unmoving.
You donât answer.
You just listen.
To the rhythm under your ear.
To the way it grounds the moment into something almostâ
normal.
Almost safe.
Almostâ
like being held by someone who knows how to love,
even if this isnât quite that.
Slowly, you lean back.
Just enough to look up at him.
His face is half-shadowed, the warm strip of light catching along the edge of his cheek, softening the sharpness there, painting him in something almost gentle.
For a secondâ
he looks like someone you remember.
Someone simpler.
Someone safe.
Your hand lifts.
Resting against his face.
Your fingers are wet, cool against the warmth of his skin, brushing lightly along the line of his jaw, over the faint roughness there.
He doesnât pull away.
He doesnât move.
He just watches you.
Wide green eyed.
Still.
You lean in.
Slowly this time.
No urgency.
No force.
Justâ
choice.
Your lips brush his.
Soft.
Careful.
A different kind of contact.
Not searching.
Not taking.
Just⊠offering.
You linger there for a secondâ
just long enough for it to exist.
Then pull back slightly, your forehead almost touching his.
And somewhere, quietly, without saying itâ
you hope.
That if you hold it like thisâ
soft enoughâ
gentle enoughâ
long enoughâ
it might turn into something real.
153
The number sits at the bottom of the page, carved in shallow, uneven strokes into a scrap of paper torn from the back of a book. The edges are soft now, worn from being folded, unfolded, handled too many times.
Every number above it is crossed out.
One after another.
Neat at first.
Then messier.
Then desperate.
153 is the last one.
It hasnât been crossed out.
It hasnât been touched in days.
The paper rests where you left itâtucked into the corner of the closet, half-hidden beneath a shift in the floorboard that doesnât quite sit right anymore. The safe is still there too, quiet and patient behind hanging fabric, its dial untouched.
You had stopped.
Not because you ran out of numbers.
Not because you gave up.
Justâ
stopped.
Days donât feel like days anymore.
They blur.
Mornings into evenings. Evenings into something softer, slower, heavier. Time shaped around himâwhen he leaves, when he returns, when he looks at you, when he doesnât.
Heâs changed.
Not in a way you can name cleanly.
Not kinder.
Not safer.
Justâ
closer.
More present.
No.
Thatâs not right.
More attached.
It shows in the way his hands linger now. The way he watches youânot distantly, not curiously, but like something that has already been decided. Like youâve been placed somewhere in his mind and heâs no longer trying to figure out where.
And youâ
You donât know what to do with that.
Because a part of you knows exactly what this is.
It isnât love.
It doesnât behave like love.
It doesnât soften anything.
It sharpens.
It consumes.
It takes and takes until thereâs nothing left to giveâand still asks for more.
And when it burns outâ
you already know how it ends.
Thereâs no future in this.
No version of it that lasts.
No version of you that walks out of it whole.
You know that.
You do.
Butâ
another part of you lingers there anyway.
Quieter.
More dangerous.
What if this is it?
Not love as itâs supposed to be.
But love as it exists for you.
Because youâve never felt anything like this before.
Not with anyone.
Not the people who were too goodâtoo careful, too gentle, like they were afraid of pressing too hard.
Not the ones who never stayed long enough to matter.
But himâ
He doesnât hesitate.
He doesnât hold back.
He doesnât soften himself to fit you.
He takes.
He pulls.
He reaches into something inside you and makes space for himself there whether youâre ready or not.
Something that feels like it might destroy you if you let it go too far.
Because at least thatâ
means something.
At least that reaches you.
At least that feels real.
The light outside had already fadedâslowly at first, then all at onceâleaving the windows dark, the glass reflecting only the dim interior back at itself. The last of the sunset had slipped away minutes ago, and with it, whatever thin comfort routine used to bring.
He shouldâve been back by now.
Heâs usually early.
Or at least on time.
Never this late.
You had noticed it without meaning to.
The way the clock kept moving.
The way the silence stretched.
The way your attention kept drifting toward the door, waiting for the familiar sound of the lock turning.
It hadnât come.
And thenâ
the knock.
Your body freezes before your mind catches up.
The sound doesnât belong here.
It doesnât fit into anything you know.
Dex doesnât knock.
The realization lands instantly.
Too fast.
Too loud.
Your breath stills.
You donât move.
Not toward the door.
Not away from it.
Justâ
still.
The chain at your ankle lies slack against the floor, its length drawn tight enough that you already knowâyou wouldnât make it past the bedroom doorway even if you tried.
Another knock.
Louder this time.
Patient.
Measured.
Your heart starts to climb.
Should you say something?
Should you scream?
Say itâsay it now, before whoever it is leavesâ
Help me.
Iâm here.
Iâm not supposed to be here.
But the thought twists before it can settle.
What if itâs him?
What if itâs a test?
What if heâs waiting to see what youâll do?
The words die in your throat before they can form.
Silence stretches.
Thenâ
a voice.
âHello, Mr. Poindexter.â
Male.
Calm.
Professional.
Too calm.
âIâm Felix Manning. I believe Mr. Fisk already mentioned of my arrival.â
The name lands wrong.
Fisk.
Something in your chest tightens.
You donât breathe.
You donât move.
You donât exist.
âI was hoping you might come down to the hotel,â the man continues, tone even, unhurried. âMr. Fisk would prefer to speak with you in person inâŠsome matters.â
A pause.
âBut I understand if that isnât possible.â
Your fingers curl slightly at your sides.
âStill,â he adds, âhe would appreciate it if you could review the contents of this file at your convenience.â
Another brief silence.
âGood day.â
You stay exactly where you are.
Listening.
Waiting.
Thenâ
a soft sound.
Paper against wood.
Something sliding.
A yellow envelope rests just inside the front door, pushed beneath it, its corner bent slightly where it caught on the threshold.
Too far.
You stand at the edge of the bedroom doorway, the chain at your ankle stretched to its limit, a thin line of metal pulled taut across the floor. It stops you exactly where it always doesâjust short of anything that matters.Â
The sound of footsteps disappearing down the hallway comes shortly after and thenâ
The apartment is quiet again.
Too quiet.
The kind that presses in on your ears until every small sound feels louder than it should be.
You keep looking at the door.
Half-expecting it to open.
Half-expecting the lock to turn.
It doesnât.
The envelope doesnât move.
It just sits thereâyellow against the darker wood, flat, unassuming, like it hasnât already changed something just by being here.
You shouldnât touch it.
You know that.
You donât know who that man really is.
You donât know what âFiskâ means.
You donât know whatâs inside.
Butâ
you need to know.
The thought doesnât feel like a choice.
It feels like pressure.
You turn abruptly, the chain scraping faintly behind you as you move back toward the closet. Your hands are already reaching before youâve decided what youâre looking forâpushing aside hanging clothes, fingers brushing against fabric, wood, empty space.
Something long.
Something you can use.
Your hand catches on it.
You pull it free.
A broom.
Old. Light. Forgotten in the corner.
Of course, he has a vacuum now.
You grip it tighter than you need to and turn back quickly, the chain dragging behind you as you return to the edge of its reach.
You hesitate.
Just for a second.
Listening.
Nothing.
No footsteps in the hallway.
No key at the door.
Satisfied, you let out a sharp breath.
You could only hope Dex comes back home later than he already is for what you are about to do next.Â
You walk to the doorway of the bedroom, until the chains tighten, until the cuffs bite your skin.
Only then, you lower yourself to the floor.
Slowly.
Knees first.
Then your hands.
Then furtherâuntil youâre stretched out on your stomach, the cold of the floor seeping through your clothes, grounding, uncomfortable.
Real.
You extend the broom.
The handle wobbles slightly in your grip, the bristles just barely reaching past the dinning table.
Not enough.
You stretch further.
The chain shifts.
A faint metallic drag.
Too loud.
You freeze.
Your heart jumps into your throat.
Listen.
Nothing.
Still nothing.
You swallow.
Try again.
You angle the broom lower, pressing the bristles flat against the floor, inching it forward, forwardâ
There.
The edge of the envelope.
You hook it.
Too fast.
It slips.
Slides sideways a bit.
Further away.
âShitââ you whisper, the word catching in your throat before it fully forms.
Your fingers tighten around the handle.
You donât move.
You wait.
Counting seconds you donât trust.
No sound.
No movement.
No one coming.
Not yet.
You adjust your grip.
Slower this time.
Careful.
You push the broom forward again, gentler now, guiding the bristles under the edge instead of catching it. You angle your wrist, trying to keep it steady despite the way your arm is starting to strain.
You pull.
A fraction.
It moves.
Your breath catches.
Again.
Slow.
Controlled.
The envelope drags across the floor with a soft, papery sound that feels deafening in the quiet.
You pause.
Listen.
Still nothing.
Your shoulder aches now from the stretch, your arm extended further than it wants to go, muscles tightening with the effort. The chain pulls slightly at your ankle as you shift, a reminder of exactly how far youâre allowed to reach.
Not far enough.
Almost.
You inch the envelope closer.
Closer.
It turns slightly, the corner catching against the grain of the woodâ
No.
No, noâ
You adjust again, nudging it, correcting the angle, guiding instead of pulling.
Careful.
Carefulâ
It slides free.
Closer now.
Close enough that your fingers twitch with the urge to grab it, even though itâs still just out of reach.
One more pull.
Just oneâ
You hook the edge again and draw it inâ
Close.
Closeâ
Now.
You drop the broom.
Your hand shoots forward, fingers stretching past whatâs comfortable, past what feels stableâ
You catch it.
Your grip closes around the paper.
You pull it in quickly, dragging it across the floor toward you in one sharp motion.
The sound is louder this time.
The envelope clutched in your hand.
Your breath leaves you in a slow, shaky exhale.
You push yourself up slightly, sitting back just enough to look at what youâre holding.
Yellow.
Sealed.
Real.
The envelope rests in your hands.
Light.
Too light.
Like whatever is inside couldnât possibly carry the weight youâre giving it.
But it does.
You can feel it.
In the way your fingers donât move.
In the way your breath wonât settle.
In the way something inside you is already pulling backâ
hesitating.
Because you know.
You know, in that quiet, instinctive way that doesnât need proofâ
that whatever is insideâ
will change something.
Not out there.
Not in him.
In you.
Your grip tightens slightly, the paper crinkling under your fingers.
For a momentâ
you think about putting it back.
Sliding it across the floor.
Pretending you never touched it.
Letting things stay the way they are.
Letting thisâ
whatever this is between you and Dexâ
To keep existing.
Uninterrupted.
Unexamined.
Yours.
Your thumb brushes the edge of the seal.
Stops.
Because opening it meansâ
you donât get to go back.
And for the first time since it arrivedâ
the thought isnât whatâs inside?
Itâsâ
Do I truly want to know Dexâs world?
A.N : I want to say this firstâif anyone felt disturbed by the intimacy scene between Dex and OC!Reader, I understand, and I want to formally apologize. I also want to apologize for the smut part, Iâm not someone who writes traditional smut, so instead of focusing on physical detail, I focused on Readerâs internal state in that moment. And yes⊠the scene is meant to feel uncomfortable, even violent. That was intentional.
I also donât want it to come across as violence for the sake of shock. There is a reason behind it.
As you may have noticed, OC!Reader is not meant to be a perfect or âpureâ character. She is deeply flawed, shaped in part by growing up around someone with BPDâher mother. While this hasnât been fully explored yet (I donât want to spoil much for the coming chapter but this will be explored more in Log:5), it affects how she understands love, closeness, and her own worth. She craves emotional connection, but at the same time, she doesnât believe she deserves anything gentle or good. That contradiction is important to her character.
So in the intimacy scene, Reader isnât seeking pleasure in a typical sense. She accepts the pain because, in her mind, that is the only kind of intimacy she is allowed to have. The absence of softness reflects how she sees herselfâundeserving of tenderness.
Dex, on the other hand, is not hurting her out of cruelty or sadistic enjoyment. He doesnât operate through empathy in a conventional way. He processes things through patternsâcause and effect, reaction and response. When he sees Reader reacting and not stopping him, he interprets that as confirmation that what heâs doing is âworking.â To him, intensity becomes a substitute for connection.
The scene is really about misalignment.
Reader believes she understands Dex.
Dex believes he understands Reader.
But they donât.
Dex doesnât recognize her discomfort.
Reader doesnât realize that Dex is trying, in his own way, to connect with herâbecause he thinks she is the first person who might understand him.
So what happens between them isnât mutual intimacy. Itâs two different needs colliding in the same space.
On the surface, yesâitâs a sex scene. But underneath that, itâs something much more disconnected. A moment that should be mutual and vulnerable instead becomes something fractured, driven by misunderstanding.
Itâs not meant to be romanticized. What they have isnât really loveâitâs something distorted, something that looks like love but isnât.
And in terms of Dexâs characterizationâthis is just my interpretation, and I could be wrongâbut I donât think he would approach intimacy in a conventional or emotionally grounded way. Even earlier, when Reader wears the lingerie, his lack of reaction isnât about attraction. He simply doesnât process the situation as sexual. To him, itâs a taskâhelping her âunderstandâ something.
Even the kiss in the kitchen isnât romantic. Itâs impulsive. It comes from a moment where something finally âclicksâ for himâwhere what Reader says feels like the closest thing to understanding heâs ever experienced. The action isnât emotional in a typical sense; itâs more like a sudden release of built-up cognitive tension.
So overall, the scene is meant to feel uncomfortable, misaligned, and unresolvedâbecause thatâs what their relationship is at this point.
Thank you for the read and till next time peace âïžđ)
Summary: Things keep going missing at your apartment and the fear never goes away, and the handsome man at the diner? Turns out heâs much more closer to the problem than you realize.
Wc: 5.3k
Warnings: blood and violence, detailed accounts of anxiety and paranoia, stalking, obsession, smut,dryhumping, oral (f!receiving) piv sex,
You were in a predicament.
You could feel something was wrong. The fear was coiling up deep in your tummy, snapping in loose circles to form that familiar feeling of âsomething is happeningâ every time you stepped outside and no matter how many paranoid trips you took to the nearest pharmacy round your shitty apartment block to get another prescription of sertraline, no matter how many times you looked over your shoulder to find something, anything , to find the cause of your worries, you couldnât ever seem to pinpoint exactly what it was.
The fear followed you to the laundromat, to the bus stop where you kept counting faces to stop yourself from scratching the skin off your thumb. But your hands tangled themselves together in a sweaty mess of limbs no matter how much you tried.
Nothing ever happened.
That was the worst part.
Nobody waited outside your apartment door with a machete in their hand.
Nobody chased you with a chainsaw after you came home from your work at the diner during after-hours.
But the pressure in your stomach continued to build with no clear shape to attach the building anxiety to.
but you had an inkling.
ââââââââââââ
However, your little panic attacks didnât stop your boss from snapping at you when your hands shook scrubbing the grimy plates at your job at the local diner. You didnât have any meaningful acquaintances in Hellâs Kitchen in the five years you had resided here- more like you didnât bother to make any - there was your shitty situationship you only went to for a cheap fuck on especially lonely nights, then your old neighbor who gave you basket full of goods because âa young woman like you shouldnât be starving herselfâ, and then the only coworker you could tolerate , Tyra.
Youâd arrived in Hellâs Kitchen with a dream and a penny. Anything to get away from your shitty life back in the broken down rural west. Despite all the negative sides, Hellâs Kitchen had now embedded itâs monochromatic early mornings and vigilantes causing mayhem across the city in you, you would even go as far as to say youâd grown quite fond of it, and you wouldnât have it any other way.
Youâd spent more and more time at the diner, covering your co-workerâs shifts without mouthing back when they wanted to clock out early, all without asking for recompense. Anything was better than being stuck in your apartment with the anxiety now skyrocketing off your chest, and somehow being in a public space gave you the fake illusion of safety, an imaginary reprieve from a predator you werenât privy to.
Over the years, youâd come to recognize a few customers as regulars. Knew their orders etched into the backs of your palm. There was the lady with sparse grey hair covering the side of her head- she always sat near the stall which faced the sun- she always ordered bitter espresso with cold oat milk, no added sugar. Then there were the mother and daughter duo with the same order of pancakes, topped with fruit and dollops of cream, and enough syrup to land somebody a permanent seat in the hospital for a chronic disease.
And then there was the new customer. The one who made a deep cloud of uncertainty settle into your stomach; whether to run from him, or climb into his lap and whisper to him all the ways youâd wanted to shut his stupid, handsome mouth.
Benjamin Pointdexter, he called himself.
Dex for short.
Heâd been frequenting the diner for the past few months. All the same order- a stupid banana milkshake with a thick cherry sitting on top of the heavy cream.
âYou donât look like the type of person to order a diabetic fraudâ, youâd mouthed to him.
You shouldâve kept your mouth shut.
Shouldâve kept your head down and eyes to the counter, shoudlâve never allowed the devil to willingly walk into your headspace and engulf you with his musky scent of pinewood and leather, and something else so heady you couldnât describe it in any other way except that it was just so him.
He smiled a little at that.
âthereâs a lot of things you dont know about meâ.
A typical response youâd get from somebody who wore gloves even despite the blazing heat of Hellâs Kitchen.
Heâd kept his eyes on you the entire time he drank his order. You appreciated the ogling from this undeniably handsome stranger, but really, could he be anymore blunt in his staring? It was starting to get uncomfortable.
And this routine continued to occur. He would sit in the same seat right next to the cashiers counter, somewhere he could stare at you without explaining himself and make small talk.
You appreciated it, really.
And when the fear started numbing you, dragging you down to the depths of its icy shores, to a place where you bled color but it sank to the bottom and never revealed at the surface, you find him an anchor in the quiet stillness of the endless ocean - as meaning evaporated. And your trust in what was real became impossible.
Your therapist told you you were being paranoid. Youâve had too much to drink, shed tell you. Did you practice the grounding exercises i told you to?. Youâre not being hunted, sweetie. Youâre safe.
But the fear never went away. It just coiled itself around your spine, grinding itself against your vertebrae, chewing it like sugar cubes. It whispers your name, but to you now your name is just white noise. Just a collection of noises that once mattered, but not now. Not ever.
So you talk.
You talk to the handsome man who sits with his eyes holding you in his periphery at all times. You let your eyes glaze over his form and your mouth ache. You tell him how youâre not feeling good, and how you yourself canât pinpoint what it is. What it is exactly. You tell him about the cheap beer and the microwaved food that was keeping you alive because you were too fucking scared to take a trip the convenience store one block away from your apartment in fear something was going to happen.
And he listens. He frowns at exactly the right time. He comments at exactly the right part. You feel seen for once in your miserable life. And the fear starts untangling itself in his presence.
When you return back to work after taking leave for one day after falling ill you find dex sitting in the same spot. Posture straight but shoulders hunched a little inwards, like heâs trying to curl in on himself, though his powerfully built physique does little to make that effective
âAre you ill?â He asks dryly, though his eyes betrayed the emotion he failed to convey with his voice
âHowâd you know? Do I look that bad?â You reply gruffly, huffing out a little laugh.
âNo, you still look gorgeous. Though thereâs this tiredness in your eyes, and as you failed to show up yesterday, I mightâve put two and two together. Iâm worried about youâ
Gorgeous? You? He really knows how to brighten you up, huh
âRelax dex. Iâm not going anywhereâ
That offhand promise would come to bite you in the ass
He slowly, but surely, becomes your savior. He sits with you in the cheap diner, watches you cover others shifts because you just canât fucking say no.
No personal questions were ever asked. You never wandered too far in his territory, always afraid of misstepping
âââââââââââ-
He noticed the slight tint of your cheeks in the dim yellow lights in the room. How could he not? You were such a fucking plague. Smiling at him like that. Laughing at his unfunny jokes like they were peak comedy. Rambling to him about how something was off, despite not knowing how close the perpetrator really was. How you looked at him with those fuck me eyes of yours, ogling at him in broad daylight too. How could he not? You had embedded yourself in every single thought heâd had waking up, even being so cruel as to reach him in his fucking dreams. He wouldnât let this end like Julie. He wouldnât ruin this. He needed you. And he wanted you to see it.
âââââââââââ-
The first thing you noticed was quite small.
A silly pen. With oogly eyes youâd kept near your vase right by the entrance of your doorway gone missing.To any other person, your concern mightâve been seen as stupid, rambling of a person bordering on insanity, but to you it felt like a revelation that whatever anxiety you were having was valid. Youd spent hours locked up inside your apartment before during the peak of your paranoia and memorized every single little thing in your apartment to make sure they werenât misplaced, and you know, you were certain that you had kept the pen right next to the vase.
You triple checked yours doors that night, and placed a heavy bat into the metal knob.
This incident pushed itself to the dusty, forgotten corners of your mind as the weekend approached.
The second time this happened, it stuck with you a little more.
The diner had reached its busiest days yet. When you clocked in for the night, you instinctively shoved your hands in the pockets of your apron, but your hands curled around a familiar metal rectangle. Your lighter.
How the hell did it reach here? You never, ever, smoke during shifts. That was your unspoken vow to yourself.
However you were forced to forget about this as well as your coworker shouted your name from across the counter.
âComing!â You yell, cursing the stupid fucking guy who always yelled at you for even your tiniest mistakes, and yet your people pleaser ass still ends up working overtime to cover his shift when he decides to ditch you last minute.
And when you came back from work to the hair tie you remember snapping and throwing away two days ago sitting on the edge of your sink, you did everything possible to keep yourself grounded. Just a coincidence. Yeah. Thatâs it.
Whatever fragile composure you had finally fucking shattered was when youâre new, brand new, lingerie set vanished. You had only gotten to wear it once. A pink babydoll with a matching frilly thong. You had folded it neatly and kept it in your drawers, you were fucking sure.
Next day at the diner, dex waits in his usual spot, and looking at his familiar stature gives you a sense of relief no aphrodisiac could. As the day comes to an end, you lean over the counter and finally say whatâd been brewing in your mind
âi think somebody broke into my apartmentâ.
Dex doesnât react immediately.
That shoudlve been your first red flag.
You shoudlve been smart enough to notice the way he stiffens up imperceptibly, gloved fingers tightening around the half finished milkshake.
Then he blinks once.
âTell me exactly whatâs been movedâ. There was an underlying monotonicity in his voice that lacked any real concern, any real surprise that a normal person would have towards hearing that somebodyâs apartment had been broken in.
That shoudlve been your second red flag.
Your throat tightens anyway. âI already did.â
âI mean everything,â he corrects gently. âStart from the beginning.â
You swallow. âA pen. My lighter. A hair tie. AndâŠâ your voice hitches on your breath, ââŠmy lingerie.â
For the first time, something flickers across his faceâso fast you almost miss it.
Recognition
Then its gone.
âAre you certain it wasnât misplaced?â he asks.
There it was. That fucking question. The one your therapist kept asking. The one your coworkers kept asking. The one you kept asking yourself.
âIâm not stupid,â you retort, sharper than you intended.
A beat passes.
Then Dex nods once. âNo,â he agrees. âYouâre notâ
Dexâs gaze returns to you.
âDid anything else feel different?â he asks..
âYeah,â you admit. âEverything.â You ignore the pricking at the back of your neck
Silence.
Then he sets his glass down with care.
âIâll walk you home,â he says.
You hesitate. âDex⊠I didnât ask you toââ
âI know,â he interrupts, still calm. How the fuck is he so calm?
A pause.
âBut I want to.â
ââââââââââââ
So you methodically do your closing rituals like you normally would in the absence of a certain blonde haired man, flick off the lights, hook your apron and slip on your jacket, and march into a comfortable silence to your home, dex falling in step next to you.
None of you bothered with small talk as you reached your apartment. And when you leaned against your doorway with a heavy sigh you huffed out a small laugh
âThis is kinda overkill, donât you think?â you say.
He shakes his head
âNo.â
None of you bothered to fill the silence, but you noticed his eyes scavenging your face, landing particularly on your lips for a beat too long.
fuck it
You dont know who initiated it first but suddenly youâre locked in a particularly vicious battle of teeth, blood and hunger.
An inaudible moan erupts from the back of your throat and you feel him greedily lapping up all the noise. He tastes so fucking good, so heady and masculine and so him. You lock your hands in his hair, pulling and tugging at his blonde locks, and you hear him sigh in your lips. His hands wander, tightening his hands on your body, crushing you against him that youâre almost afraid of losing air.
He pulls away slightly, and you breathe in gasps of air. And you realize youâre still right outside your fucking apartment door
âdex.. insideâ You gasp out, already flushed from the exhilarating encounter.
He chuckles at that. âOh yeah baby, soon enoughâ, and you roll your eyes
âYou idiot, i meant inside my apartment. Youre not planning to take me right here on the doorway right?â
âi could take you on the fucking floor and I wouldnât careâ
âbut i would, asshole, my keys-â
You notice how heâs already unlocking the door. How the fuck did he find the keys? You dont have time to question before youâre being pulled inside and smashed against his lips.
You two get locked in a heated mess of lips and spit and need, and he shudders against your lips as you bite his lower lip, instantly pressing his tongue against yours, sucking and coaxing out all sorts of groans from you.
You gently maneuver him towards your bedroom, never breaking the connection once ad lower him down on your bed, pressing your lips against him once more as you climb on top of him.The new position has your torso rubbing up against his front and as much as you enjoy having more room to explore now, you despise the fact that you both are still fully clothed. A sigh escapes you as he aligns you so your cores level better.
He makes quick work of your shirt and you allow him to steer you out of it, before your smashing his lips feeling as if a single moment away from him would kill you.
You tilt your hips, angling them in a way that has your pussy rubbing over his belt buckle and the sudden pressure feels so good, so very needed that you can't help but moan as you grind down on it some more.
You can't get enough of the feel of him. He looks wonderful like this - so disheveled. his swollen llips pink from all the biting. and his black clothes rumpled. Youre hit with a feverish wave of pure need and you canât help but paw at his clothes, removing his shirt and holy shit. Heâs even more ripped than you initially thought. Toned muscles and abdomen, and the enticing happy trail disappearing down his pants which youâre so fucking eager to explore.
You pull off his belt and he lifts his hips in order to give you access to pull down his pants from under him and he does the same to you until youâre left in your undergarments.
You need to feel him, you need to see him, but he hastens your movement as you try to drag his briefs down and shakes his head
âneed to make you feel good, babyâ he has that promising glint in his eyes and youâre too fucking eager to feel him to decline.
So you allow him to switch positions until youâre the one under him. He crawls on top of you, hooking his finger under your bra and unlatching it. You instinctively try to cover yourself but he grasps your wrists and crosses them on top your head, covering them with his large hands
âno, no baby, no hiding, let me see all of youâ he sucks a spot in the side of your neck, trailing down towards your bare chest. He grasps one tit in his hand and suckles on the other, swirling and licking the nipple and you gasp, back arching into his chest.
He makes his way downward, his lips leaving a raging fire in its wake. He pulls your drenched panties down your legs, and your slick connects you to the almost see through fabric.
âBaby you're drenchedâ, and dex sounds downright tortured. Like a man starved and withheld from what he needs most - and right now that thing is you and only you.He traces the spot where you need him most, slickening your little bundle of nerves with the wetness he collected dripping from your hole. Dex suddenly pushes two fingers inside your cunt, burying them in your squelching walls until you feel his knuckles press flush against your slick flesh. A hoarse moan immediately rips free from your throat, loud and unrestrained as you didn't expect this sudden intrusion at all.
It seems like a switch has been flipped inside of him. Dex curls his fingers inside of you, prodding and looking for all of your most sensitive spots. The feel of it is overwhelming.When his thumb rubs against your sensitive clit, his thick fingers simultaneously thrusting into you, another flurry of sounds escapes you against your will. Itâs too much, yet itâs so little at the same time. You want something else, and you want it right now.
âMmh- god, pleas- don't stop.â It's ridiculous, how quickly your ability to speak has fled you, but it's nothing you pay any mind to. You would willingly reduce yourself to a stupid bimbo if dex continues his brutality against your pussy anytime
âDon't worry, lovely, I won't.â And then he captures your lips again, groaning into your mouth as he does. Tangling his tongue with yours and ravaging both your mouth and pussy simultaneously.
He lowers himself down once again, and dives right in. Dex laps at your pussy like a madman, no build-up, no slow start. He immediately starts sucking and twirling without mercy, circling your most sensitive spot while simultaneously fingerfucking you, reaching that cushiony spot you couldnât ever reach by yourself.
He looks so pussydrunk, and as you tangle your head in his hair he whines as if a single moment from your pussy would physically kill him. Your thighs jerk and spam as you wrap them around his head, trying to decide whether to push him away or physically bury him in your cunt
âH-holy shit dex, holy fuck..â the pleasure hit you with full force
You thread your fingers into his hair and try to push him away as the telltale signs of an orgasm build up on you and the feeling gets too much, but he doesnât waiver once, mouth stuck to your clit as he harshly laps up the nub.
The orgasm hits you with such force that even your voice cracks in the middle of your pleasured moan.
âThatâs my good girlâ, dex murmurs encouragingly, barely loud enough to be audible between your labored breaths as he slowly laps away at your core and eases his fingers into your twitching cunt again and again to prolong your bliss and torture, your core clenching and the overstimulation slowly fading the pleasure into pain.
You try to come down from the high, as dex plucks his fingers out of you. Holy shit, that was the wildest orgasm youâve ever had
You watch as he brings the soaked digits to his mouth, groaning as he licks your slick off them clean.
âStop stalling and fuck me already.â You breathe out
âBe careful what you wish for, loveâ you groan as he fi-fucking-ally pulls downs his briefs and oh
Oh
You wrap your fingers around his length, already spilling precum, flushed red and so painfully hard. And you can barely close your fists around his thick cock.holy shit heâs going to fucking tear you apart. For a good few seconds youâre just fisting your hands around his cock as he hisses through his teeth, mind stunned and pupils blow apart.
âCanât wait any longer, loveâ he drags your hand apart from his cock, and you could see the slight tremor in his hand as if it physically pained him to do so
âNeed to feel your pretty pussy around meâ.
âCondom or no?â
âIâm on birth control, dexâ and thatâs all the confirmation he needed before he fucked you raw
his right arm wraps behind your left knee, pulling your leg up to your chest and then you feel his cock press up and against you. Thereâs barely enough time to draw in a full breath before heâs notched at your entrance and he buries his entire throbbing length into your waiting cunt with one brutal snap of his hips.
he grabs you tightly, leaving you no escape, fingers digging into your skin hard enough to leave purple bruises where ever he makes contact with your body. He rolls his hips forward, pushing his cock even deeper into you and you just feel so full.
You gasp, eyes rolling into the back of your head as youâre suddenly overtaken by a feeling so intense you donât know what to do with your hands anymore. So you try to anchor yourself by scratching his back bloody. Nails skimming across his shoulders, his chest, as he pulls his cock all the way out before giving an experimental push and you scream.
âI-itâs-holy fuck dex - it feels so goodâ you canât form any thoughts except for how how fucking good this feels, and how youâd die happy under him, legs bent all the way to your chest and not being able to do anything as you just take it. When he starts thrusting with full vigor, you swear you see god.
âShit, youâre tightâ, he curses under his breath, groaning out all his frustrations into your mouth as he captures it again, and your tongues clash in a messy battle.
His thrusts are deep, long, hard strokes that push his cockhead against your womb upon every stroke.His thrusts only seem to be getting rougher, balls slapping against your ass every time he rams his cock into your soaked pussy, smearing your juices between your bodies. The sounds he made were just purely pornographic. You didn't even realize another orgasm was building before the tension accumulated in your muscles starts stiffening your limbs around dexâs waist
âAre you gonna cum, love? Are you gonna give me another one?â And that throws you off the edge, your cunt pulsing around his cock, as rivulets of your juice flow down your enjoined bodies and your orgasm tears you from the inside out. Your eyes shutter in pure bliss.
âOhmygodohmyfuckingGodâD-Dexââ it was just too much
He never falters even a little, jackhammering into your tight cunt. The sounds that bounced off the walls were just so lewd and filthy. You drag your nails across his shoulders, and that pulls him over the edge with you.
He buries his face in your shoulder, groaning huskily in your ear, and you feel you could cum again with just that.
Liquid heat spreads through your insides, urging you on to grind yourself down harder against him, milking his throbbing cock and riding out the waves of your earth shattering orgasm as he stuffs you so full it leaks out of you in thick, messy rivulets.
That was undeniably the best sex of your life.
ââââââââââââ
After the first time, dex and you fall into an unpredictable rhythm, the sex was always the same -mindblowing - but the relationship had no clear label on it.
You took leave from the diner for one day.
One fucking day.
And the next hour, news about a manslaughter in broad daylight occurring in the same diner you worked at was plastered across the city
And the remaining witnesses describe the culprit all the same - cropped blond hair, and a healed gash on his cheek
Thereâs no fucking way.
Absolutely none, nope. There was no way. You donât even let yourself think of what this could mean for you
Instead you fall into the same rambling incoherent mess that you once were before dex. Checking the doors over and over again, the windows all bolted shut. But this time you had a pretty certain inkling you couldnât run from him no matter how much you tried.
ââââââââââââ
He had knocked on your apartment that week
All bloody, fresh cuts loitering his body, as you watched him from the peephole
You knew this was wrong, you knew he was wrong. But you just couldnât not let him in
You knew this was so fucking wrong
But your hands found the doorknob anyway.
âI can explain babyâ. Heâs injured. You can tell that.
âWere you the one that killed those people at my diner?â You get straight to the point, despite how your body wants to physically pull him closer.
âI can explain.â His voice is flat now, devoid of any depth.
âNo, no dex I donât think you can. Who the fuck are you?â Youâre on the urge of pulling out your hair, you wanted safety, because the only time the fear actually stopped pulsing in you was when you were around dex, but now that illusion has come crashing down.
âBaby I told you I can explain, Iâm gonna make this right, I swear I amâ. You huff out a laugh
âYou couldâve at least fucking told me I was riding a fucking murderers dick every night, dex, holy fuck, how can you explain this? Stop lying to me!â
âYou think Iâm lying to you?.â Was he being dense on purpose?
You let out a laugh that sounds closer to a choke.
âI think half the people I worked with are dead.âyou snap
He doesnât deny the statement.
Yet he doesnât look guilty. Or ashamed.
He doesnât even flinch.
âI didnât come here to hurt you.â
âOh, thatâs supposed to make me feel better?â You snap. âI-I fucking trusted you!â
âYouâre a fucking murderer dex!â
âI didnât lie about you. I-I need you sweetheart, you need to understandâ his voice cracks in the middle, like his composure is pulling apart at the seams
Whys he so stuck on the lying part?
âIâm trying, dex, Iâm trying to understand what is wrong with you. I trusted you enough whenever I was feeling paranoid, whenever this fear creeped up on me and you made it better. How will I ever rest easy knowing I had a murderer on speed dial?!â
âI knowâ he breathes out
âI told you I was terrifiedâ youâre on the verge of crashing down
âI knowâ
âYou sat there and listened to me sound insaneâ
His face morphs a little at that. Something akin to frustration.
âYou werenât insane, babyâ
âThen what was I?â
Silence.
âDexâ
His eyes lift to yours
âWhat was I?â
âScared.â
âNo shit.â
âYou had a reason to be.â
Your heartbeat thunders.
âWhat?â
Dexâs expression changes immediately.
âWhat did you just say?â
âBabyââ
âNo.â
You point at him.
âWhat did you just say?â
His gaze drops briefly to the floor.
A habit youâve noticed before. When heâs trying hard to be truthful..
âYou had a reason to be scared.â The words come slower now. Each syllable ringed out.
You take another step back.
âWhy?â
No answer. And you feel your chest tighten.
âWhy, Dex?â
His eyes flick up.
âI never wanted you scared.â The response is immediate, like something thatâs been building up has finally come crashing down.
But you know what this is. This is an admission.
âYou knew.â
âDollââ
âYou knew.â
His jaw clenches.
âYou kept telling me everything was okay.â
You feel tears threatening to spill. He knew. He fucking knew. Every time he sat across from you on the counter, he already fucking knew when you told him about the misplaced things in your house. He fucking knew. And that hurt more than the murders, more than the blood staining his clothes.
âThe pen.â
The words leave your mouth as a violent sob burst .
You donât even know why.
âThe stupid pen with the googly eyes.â
Dex freezes, movement stiffening.
But you catch it.
And thatâs all it takes to confirm.
Oh.
Oh.
âYou know what happened to it.â A statement.
âDex.â
You can barely hear yourself.
âDex, tell me you donât know what happened to it.â
His eyes close like heâs in pain.
âI wasnât going to keep it.â The air leaves your lungs.
He admitted it so fucking casually.
âI wasnât trying to hurt you.â
A laugh breaks out of you. You hastily wipe away your tears
âYou broke into my apartment.â
âI never hurt you.â
âYou stole from me.â
âI never hurt you.â
âYou watched me.â
âDexâŠâ Your voice cracks, âDo you hear yourself?â You need him to understand.
He takes a step closer to you, slowly, like heâs approaching a cornered, frightened animal.
âI know youâre scared.â
âOf course Iâm fucking scared!.â His brow furrows like heâs genuinely confused.
âI never touched you without your permission,
I never threatened you baby, never let anything happen to you.â
âDex, there shouldnât have been anything to stop.â Your voice breaks as you give up. You donât know what to do. How those months that you spent in fear were being inflicted by the exact man who you were fucking, who also ended up being a murderer. Great. Just your luck.
âI donât know what to do with this.â Youâre so tired and the apartment feel so small with his frame engulfing your living room, the blood from his cuts pooling on the floor. You were out of your Oxiclean, you realize with a little huff. Wrong time to be thinking that.
âYou donât have to figure it out tonight, dollâ dex murmurs, stepping close, not enough to corner you, but close enough you can feel the body heat emanating off him.
âI know youâre angryâ, his gaze drops down to the floor, âAnd you have every right to beâ
Your throat tightens.
âI never wanted to scare you, baby.â
âI know.â The words leave before you can stop them.
And thatâs the problem, isnât it? You do know.
You believe him. Even now.
Dex reaches for your hand slowly, giving you every opportunity to pull away.
When you donât, his fingers close around yours.
âIâm not going to hurt you.â
You close your eyes.
Because for the first time all night, you think thatâs the one thing heâs saying that might actually be true.
A/n: my first ff here lol, constructive criticism will be very appreciated! <333
warnings: reader and dex really match each others freak, stalking, making out!
a/n: kinda p2 to this one but not essential for reading! thank u for all indulging this idea I had it is STUCK IN MY BRAIN CONSTANTLY. like I finished a ten hour shift yesterday and started writing this...
after the last time you saw him, you hid in your apartment for a few days.
the man stalked you and your response was to kiss him and say how hot it was? you were embarrassed by your actions. actions that only appeared as such because of how worked up he had made you by kissing your bruises and calling you 'good girl' 'sweetheart'.
his memory plagued you.
just because you were avoiding him didn't mean't mean dex didn't stop watching you. if anything, it meant he watched you more. wherever you were, he was.
you went grocery shopping? guess who was doing his. you went our for coffee with your friends? guess who was watching from afar. you went shopping? guess who was there.
how could he stay away from you when you were so perfect for him? you kissed him when you found out he had been stalking you! it's safe to say he was fully enamoured by you, and nobody would ever take you away from him.
"I can't believe you've been stalking me."
dex knew you would hate him.
everything he had been working towards was ruined.
the build up was wrecked by this one stupid mistake of his by being selfish and wanting your panties for himself. he had ruined any potential future he had with you just for this self indulgent moment.
"that's so fucking hot." you broke the silence and surged towards him with a sheer ferocity powered by lust.
dex grabbed onto your hips to shift you closer to him, needing to be as close to you as physically possible. his large hands gripped onto you so tight you knew there would be bruising all over them - but you didn't mind. if anything, you preferred it. your arms wrapped around his neck and used one hand to pull his hair. when he groaned into your mouth you thought you were done for. how could something so sinful sound so perfect? you removed your arms from around his neck to demand the removal of his shirt, and he pulled it off in one fell swoop before taking yours off too. dex didn't give you time to enjoy the view of ridiculously large biceps, abs that you wanted to lick and shoulders so broad you wanted to put your legs on.
there was time for that later.
as his hand lowered to toy with the waistband of your jeans, you moaned and it only spurred him on more. "you sound so fuckin' beautiful baby." dex grunted against your neck while his hands found their way to your underwear. "can I?"
"fuck, please, Tony." you whimpered and dex stopped in his tracks.
he couldn't have sex with you without you knowing his real name. the thought of you moaning someone else's name while he makes you cum on his tongue drove him insane, and only made for a recipe for disaster. it wouldn't go well for either of you. dex pulled away from you and put his hands behind his back, making you groan at the loss of contact.
"this is wrong, sweetheart, 'm sorry."
"w-what do you mean?" you jumped down from the counter, grabbing his hands and putting them on your shoulders. "h-how is it wrong? you want this, I want this." dex's fingers instinctively played with the straps of your bra.
"honey, I'm too old for you." he sighed, placing a hand on your shoulder. "I gotta go."
"Tony." you grabbed his hand when he turned to your front door. "did I do something wrong?"
"I'll see you around, sweetheart."
you were in disbelief that he had left you like that.
left you stood in your apartment in only your bra and jeans unbuttoned.
you thought that this was a sure thing from every sign he had given you, but you knew you were wrong. so you spent the next five days hauled up staying as far as you could from him out of embarrassment that you had come onto your much older neighbour.
dex wanted you more than anything.
there were two reasons he pulled away from you and didn't ravish you there and then. one: you didn't know his real name. he couldn't have you moaning someone else's name while he's fucking you with his tongue. two: him stopping you would only make you want him more. make you more desperate for him.
or that's at least what he thought.
but tonight, you were going out with your friends to a dive bar down the road from your apartment. in some short, flimsy skirt and a tight revealing top. tonight, you were going to forget about your hot older neighbour. tonight, your friends were going to distract you from him.
\/
dex watched you dance from afar.
he sat in his truck opposite the bar, binoculars out and spy equipment so he could hear you sing along to a song he had never heard of. your friends brought you all a tray of shots and you finished it without thinking, swaying your hips without a care in the world.
inside the club, a young man brushed against you and your friends shoved you in his direction. they knew you needed something to take your mind off of your infatuation with your neighbour, something to make you realise that no man was worth the obsession you had over him.
"I'm so sorry!" you exclaimed as he helped to steady your footing. you shot devil eyes at your friends who were all laughing and giving you the thumbs up signal for good luck.
"it's no problem!" he smiled back at you, hands on your hips. "can I buy you a drink? if that's not too forward?"
"I'm not so sure about that." you nervously chuckled when he moved his hands to hold yours.
"it's the least you could do after falling into me." he joked and you laughed, and for the first time you weren't comparing him to your neighbour.
dex watched through gritted teeth as you walked to the bar with this boy. he wouldn't be any good for you? boys your age knew nothing!
his plan was failing fast.
teasing you then removing himself from the equation should've meant you were begging on your knees for him in his apartment. instead here you were, running and paying attention to the first person who paid you any attention. he needed you to realise that this person wouldn't do half of the things he could. they couldn't make you feel like he could.
how the fuck was he going to fix this?
\/
it seemed like dex sat in the truck for hours watching you. you didn't leave the bar until closing at four in the morning - he had forgotten what it was like to be so young and stay up until dawn. your friends had left an hour before you but you stayed.
dancing with that person dex was plotting to kill.
when you stumbled out, laughing loudly, his eyes landed on the boy who had followed you out. the two of you stood close to one another, embracing one another, leaning up to him.
dex had endured this game of cat and mouse long enough.
if you wanted him to stalk you, you got your wish.
he slammed the door to his truck closed and marched over to where you both stood. you tried not to look at him as the boy who held your hands stood in front of you protectively.
you knew he was watching you all night, so why not have a little fun with him?
"hey man, back the fuck up."
"shut up, asshole." dex planted his head through the mans skull, knocking him unconscious from the sheer force of his headbutt as he turned to face you. "what is your problem!"
"thought I was too young for you." you shrugged mischievously.
"you drive me insane." he grabbed you by the arm and pulled you into him. "you're really messed up, you know that sweetheart?"
dex lifted you into his arms, fireman style, as he began to take you back to your apartment building. "I know I am, but you like it because you are too, agent poindexter."
dex's eyes widened. "how long have you known?"
"you're a fucking perv, poindexter, and not a subtle one at that."
after your interaction with Tony (or dex), the one where he said 'attagirl' and brushed his hand over your neck in a manner that was way too close for neighbours to do, you had tried to avoid him as best you could. you couldn't help it.
he was all you thought about.
dex knew that too.
he knew the way he had impacted you from a simple gesture and a petname enriched in praise. he would sneak up to the rooftop opposite your building just to watch you get yourself off in the night, he couldn't help himself. you were so so gorgeous, the way you bit your lip despite living alone, the sounds you made, the way when you pushed yourself too far tears streamed down your face. that night after your friends left he snuck up to the rooftop to listen and heard what would have been the sweetest sound he'd ever heard if he was telling the truth.
you moaned his name.
not his name, Tony. the name he had given you to keep you safe and keep his cover.
you threw your head back and moaned the name out loud, exhaling sweetly about how good he was making you feel.
dex had to join in with you - pleasuring himself on the rooftop moaning your name in sync.
you avoided your neighbour for a few days, but how could you do that when he lived opposite you? whenever you left your apartment he had his door wide open and tried to talk to you but you scurried off before he could reach you.
one day, dex was headed for a walk when he heard a loud exclamation of pain from your apartment and shortly followed by a 'fuck'. instantly he stalled by your door and knocked. "is everything okay, sweetheart?"
"m f-fine Tony!" you yelled, biting your lip to stop from groaning in pain. "'s all good!"
"I can hear you're in pain, let me in." he responded as you groaned.
the door swung open and dex saw you holding your arm tearfully. you were dusting your ceiling corners when you fell from the chair you were standing on straight onto your shoulder in a funny position. your shoulder was raised and your arm bruised already as he rushed towards you and knelt down to your height.
"I was trying to get the cobwebs in the corner of the ceiling b-but I couldn't reach and I was stood on the chair and fell and I landed on my shoulder-" your bottom lip wobbled as a tear fell from your eye and Tony (dex) instantly wrapped his arms around you.
"oh sweetheart, are you alright?" he hushed into your ear. "let's get you to the couch and I'll look at your arm and make sure it isn't broken, okay honey?" you nodded, expecting to stand up with his help, but gasped when he wrapped your legs around his waist and carried you over to your couch.
you tried to shake the thoughts from your head.
you had several dreams about this exact position with your neighbour, except you wore less clothes in those dreams. you dreamed of how he would ravage you and leave kisses all over your body that made you whimper. you dreamed of his large hands roaming your figure and pulling your hair. you dreamed of him thrusting up into you while he kissed your lips and moaned into your mouth.
you prayed that he couldn't feel the wetness pooling in your shorts, and he prayed you couldn't feel his hard-on in his jeans.
"it hurts so bad." Tony placed you on the couch, him sitting on your coffee table opposite you as he examined your arm.
"I know honey I know." he soothed. "nothing looks broken, sweetheart, it certainly looks bruised though." his hands ran over the forming bruising spots on your arm and you winced at his fingers. "I know honey I'm sorry."
"m sorry tony, 'm being a baby." you sniffled and wiped your tears away with the other hand.
"you're okay sweetie." Tony ran a hand through your hair. "let me get a cold compress and we'll calm the bruises so they don't come out as harsh, baby."
dex walked into your kitchen to get a cold compress to run under some cold water to apply to your bruises. he couldn't help but notice the cluttered nature of your kitchen, and the pile of underwear that was hanging out of the washing machine. they were dirty. his eyes wandered over to you who wasn't even looking at him as he quickly knelt down and put a lacy blue pair in his jeans pocket.
not just any blue.
his blue.
he had to steal them.
when he came back to you, your hands held onto his instantly. "thank you for helping me, Tony. id be lost without you."
"just bein' neighbourly is all, sweetheart." he grinned. "this is gonna sting a little, okay? squeeze my hand if it hurts."
when he applied the ice cold compress to your bruises you instantly winced and squeezed his hands tightly. you threw your head back and whimpered and dex stilled. "'m sorry." you bit your lip to stop yourself from making any noises as his hand came to your chin and forced you to face him.
"don't be sorry, sweetie, keep your eyes on me, okay? I'd never hurt you." he nodded, keeping one hand on your chin and the other holding the cold compress to your shoulder. your eyes never left his. "attagirl, see? it doesn't hurt does it?"
you shook your head as he removed the cold compress from your shoulder and kissed it softly. your breath stilled in your chest. your mouth was hung open as he opened his eyes and you locked onto each other. his eyes were blown wide with lust, yours with shock and excitement. "t-tony I-"
"see? all better." he kissed it once more before pulling back from you entirely, even removing his hands from your figure. "you did such a good job for me honey. next time you want something doing around your apartment, knock on my door and I'll do it for you."
your mouth hung wide, stomach fluttering and mouth watering at his praise for you. "Tony I-" you stood up to meet his height.
dex couldn't help but smile when you anxiously wrapped your arms around him to embrace him in a cuddle, to say thank you for helping you and offering his services when you needed him. his big biceps found refuge on your waist until one hand entangled itself in your hair , lightly pulling on it to make you look at him as you blushed. "you know where I am if you need anything right sweetie?' you nodded instantly. "attagirl, such a good girl."
he was doing it on purpose now.
the stupidly evil smirk that graced his face made you yearn to kiss it clean off. you wished to stroke his cheekbone scar and pull his grey hairs and yank him into your bedroom and slam the door behind you. you felt your hands slip into his back pocket as he leaned in closer to you.
his breath fanned against your lips with his hooded eyes gazing into yours, wishing for nothing more than to take you over his shoulder and take you into your bedroom until all you remembered was his name. not Tony. dex. until you screamed dex until your voice was hoarse.
when you leaned up to break the distance between you, to close the gap and finally fulfil the dirty dreams that had been plaguing you since you first met, he pulled away and brought your hands back to his chest. you whined softly when there was a widening gap between you, but furrowed your brows when you felt something in your hand.
you opened your hand and dex's eyes went wide. "why are my panties in your back pocket?"
"what? no I-"
"did you take them from my washing machine when you got me the cold compress?!" you exclaimed, pulling away from him as he instantly extended his hands to feign innocence. "Tony what the-"
"don't pretend you don't want this too, honey. I can see and hear you on a night, I see how you look at me." he scoffed and pulled you towards him. "sweetheart just relax. it's nothing! I-"
"what do you mean you see me on a night?" you cocked your head in confusion. "tony...what the hell do you mean? have you been stalking me? listening to me?"
dex fell silent as a terrified look crossed your face. your hands shook anxiously and he pulled you in closer, reassuring you that you were safe. "honey no never! I just-"
"you've been stalking me!" you yelled. "how the hell could you-"
he needed to shut you up.
and he needed to do it fast.
the neighbours would hear you and that was the last thing he needed, you blowing his cover all because he just wanted to ravish you.
he lifted you off of your feet and onto the kitchen counter, hand over your mouth and the other on the small of your back. your bodies pressed into one another as your eyes widened. he was undeniably hard - given from the stiff cock that pressed into your thigh through his jeans or the lustblown pupils that gazed through your soul.
he hushed you. "I'm gonna take my hand off now, okay sweetheart? you're not gonna scream are you?" you shook your head, trying not to whimper at the tension you could feel in his trousers. "such a good girl." he took his hand from your mouth and cupped either side of your face.
"I can't believe you've been stalking me."
dex knew you would hate him.
everything he had been working towards was ruined.
the build up was wrecked by this one stupid mistake of his by being selfish and wanting your panties for himself. he had ruined any potential future he had with you just for this self indulgent moment.
"that's so fucking hot." you broke the silence and surged towards him with a sheer ferocity powered by lust.
Summary: Fighting my way up to your tongue so I could die up on it. And show you what it really means to need somebody. Beyond their body.
Cw : kidnapping / confinement, control & coercion, violence (including choking), sexual themes & blurred consent, psychological dependency, self-destructive behavior, internalized shameÂ
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A.N: Ok so I do have to warn you guys. This chapter includes some really heavy themes. So if you are not 18+, I would highly advice you to skip. I will put a warning before the disturbing scene so you can scroll until you see another divider to skip. Thank you and enjoy.
Your gaze lingers on your finger.
The faint mark is still thereâjust a slight discoloration now, the skin knit back together but not quite the same. You press your thumb lightly against it, feeling the memory of pressure more than the pain itself.
Three days.
It has been three days.
Three days since something shifted.
Dexter doesnât touch you the same anymore.
Noâhe doesnât touch you at all.
No absent-minded brushes of your arm. No casual proximity. No quiet pull against him in the middle of the night. Even when you lie beside him, thereâs space now. Measured. Intentional.
You donât mention it.
But you notice.
Of course you notice.
The absence sits heavier than the presence ever did.
The first night, you thought maybe it was nothing.
The second, it became harder to ignore.
By the thirdâ
you couldnât pretend anymore.
You remember turning slightly in bed, slow, careful, just enough to check.
Just enough to see.
And when you didâ
he was already looking at you.
Not startled.
Not caught.
Just⊠watching.
His eyes fixed on you with a kind of quiet concentration, like he was studying something that didnât quite make sense. Like you were a problem laid out in front of him, waiting to be solved.
You didnât say anything.
You didnât ask.
You just turned back around.
Presented your back to him again.
Because whatever he was searching forâ
you didnât want to know what he might find.
You donât think it was the choking.
Not with him.
Not with Dexter.
If anything, that would have made more sense to him than anything else.
You could have done worse.
You could have hurt him, properly hurt him, and he still wouldnât have called it crossing a line.
Thatâs not what this is.
Your teeth press lightly against your lower lip.
It was the kiss.
It has to be.
Your fingers tighten slightly against the cloth in your hand.
A kiss.
Such a small thing.
Such a normal thing.
And yetâ
thatâs what unsettled him.
Why?
Because youâre not her?
The thought comes quiet. Bitter.
Not Juli.
Not whoever he had in mind when he built whatever version of thisâof youâin his head.
Or maybe itâs simpler than that.
Maybeâ
youâre just not his type.
You swallow.
It wouldnât be new.
It wouldnât be surprising.
Your grip shifts against the counter as your hand keeps moving in slow, empty circles over the same spot, long since clean.
Your thoughts drift, slipping further than they should.
Maybe he just isnât interested in you like that.
Maybe thatâs all it is.
âY/N.â
His voice cuts through it.
Clean.
Sharp enough to pull you back immediately.
âCan you stop wiping the same spot on the counter and clean the frames?â
You blink, the motion of your hand faltering.
You glance up.
Heâs in the living room, hand vacuum in one hand, running it along the blinds with slow, methodical precision. Even now, his attention feels splitâhalf on the task, half on you.
Watching.
Tracking.
You exhale quietly through your nose.
Right.
Cleaning.
Of course.
You look back down at the counter.
Youâve been âcleaningâ the same place forâwhat, five minutes now?
Maybe more.
ââŠyeah,â you mutter under your breath, though not loud enough for him to catch properly.
Benjamin Poindexter.
One day off in weeksâand he chooses to spend it deep-cleaning the entire apartment like itâs some kind of controlled operation.
You donât get it.
Youâve never done it like this.
Back at your place, itâs different.
You clean when you feel like it.
Bathroom on Saturdays, sometimes. Living room on a good Sunday. Kitchen when it starts to bother you. The restâ
whenever.
Little by little.
When it feels right.
Not like this.
Not⊠systematic.
Not suffocating.
Your hand slows again against the counter.
You really donât feel like doing this.
Not today.
Not like this.
âY/N.â
You snap your head up, irritation flickering before you can stop it.
âWhat?â
He looks at you properly this time.
A brief pause.
Like heâs measuring your tone against something.
âI told you to clean the photo frames,â he says. âA minute ago.â
Your jaw tightens slightly.
You want to roll your eyes.
You donât.
Instead, you push yourself off the counter with a small, restrained sigh, the cloth still in your hand.
âIâm going,â you mutter.
Thereâs a beat.
Then, almost as an afterthoughtâ
âPlease.â
You glance at him.
The word lands late. Slightly off.
Like it was added because it should be there, not because he meant it.
It doesnât change anything.
It doesnât soften it.
You hold your gaze on him for half a second longer than necessaryâsomething faintly annoyed in your expressionâbefore you look away.
Whatever.
You donât reply.
You just move.
Your steps are quiet as you cross toward the wall beside the door, stopping in front of the nearest photo frame.
Cloth in hand.
Without thinking, you reach up and lift it off the wall.
It comes free easily.
Too easily.
And only when itâs in your handsâonly when your eyes actually land on itâ
you pause.
Wait.
Your fingers still.
Thisâ
This is yours.
No..a copy.Â
The group photo.
From the Brooklyn Suicide Prevention Center.
For a second, something soft almost rises to the surface of your expression. Not quite a smileâbut close enough that you feel it there.
You remember.
Evan handing these out at the end of the year, one by one, like it mattered. Like it meant something permanent.
Youâd thought it was⊠sweet.
A little impractical, maybe.
Most people didnât stay long enough for it to matter. A few months, maybe less, and then they were gone. Rotated out. Replaced.
Memories didnât really hold in a place like that.
But Evanâ
He tried.
Even until his last day as manager, he tried.
Your thumb brushes lightly over the frame.
Your gaze shifts.
It finds Juli first.
And your expression tightens.
Thereâs a mark across her face.
Not just a smudgeâ
a slice.
Sharp. Clean. Distorted just enough that it looks like something was thrown at it. Like something hit it.
Your thumb presses instinctively against the photo, smoothing over the warped line as if you can fix it. As if you can make her face whole again.
You stare at it for a second longer than necessary.
Sheâs the kind of person who would care for something you would treat as an after thought.
Better than you.
Your hand lowers slightly.
Your gaze drifts across the rest of the photo.
Faces.
Moments.
Fragments of a place that doesnât exist for you anymore.
You remember small things. Voices. The rhythm of shifts. The way the room would feel during long nights.
And thenâ
your eyes land on yourself.
And Marisa.
You still a little.
In the picture, her arm is slung around your shoulders, pulling you in against her like she always didâtoo close, too loud, too much.
And youâ
Youâre laughing.
Actually laughing.
Your chest tightens just a little.
You donât usually smile in pictures.
It always feels wrong. Forced. Like something that doesnât sit right on your face.
But hereâ
You lookâŠ
happy.
Your fingers tighten slightly around the edge of the frame.
Marisa.
You remember first meeting her as her supervisor.
You remember correcting her tone, over and over again. Telling her to soften it. To be careful. To not sound so harsh when people were already on the edge.
And sheâd roll her eyes.
Make faces when the calls dragged too long.
You should have reported her.
Anyone else in your position would have.
But you didnât.
Instead, you bit back your own reactionsâyour own laugh threatening to slip out at the wrong moments, forcing it down so the others wouldnât hear.
Wouldnât notice.
She wasâ
easy to be around.
Loud enough to fill the silence you never knew how to fill yourself.
And she never pushed.
Never asked for explanations you didnât want to give.
You liked that.
You like her.
Your expression softens.
Then fades.
The last time you spoke to herâ
The memory comes sharp.
Her voice over the phone. Quick. Rushed.
Saying she quit.
Saying she was moving to Florida with her boyfriend.
Youâd tried to say somethingâanythingâbut she didnât let you.
Just told you it was nice knowing you.
And hung up.
You should have been angry.
Anyone else would have been.
But you heard it.
That crack in her voice.
You knew.
How it hurts her to leave you.
Your thumb drags absently along the edge of the frame.
You wonder if sheâs okay.
If Florida worked out.
If she ever opened that ridiculous Hawaii-themed dive bar she used to talk about.
You thought it was stupid back then.
Unrealistic.
But nowâ
It sounds better than sitting in a cubicle, listening to people fall apart over a phone line for the rest of your life.
Your grip shifts.
You exhale quietly.
And finallyâ
you lift the cloth.
Wiping the frame.
Slow.
Careful.
Until the surface is clean.
You hang it back in place.
Step back.
Your eyes linger.
And thenâ
they move.
To him.
Dexter.
In the photo, he looksâŠ
normal.
Plain, almost.
Just another person in the frame.
Nothing about him stands out.
Nothing warns you.
Nothing tells you what he is.
Your chest tightens slightly.
Because even nowâeven knowing what you knowâ
you can still see it.
That version of him.
The one across from your cubicle.
The one you used to glance at between calls.
The one who existed before all of this.
Or maybeâ
the one you imagined.
Your gaze shifts.
From the photoâ
to him.
Heâs in the living room, vacuuming the couch with the same quiet focus, movements precise, controlled.
Real.
Present.
Not the boy in the picture.
Not entirely.
Your fingers lift.
Almost absently.
And you push the edge of the frame.
Just enoughâ
to tilt it slightly off-center.
A small disruption.
Barely noticeable.
But intentional.
Your eyes donât leave him.
You watch him instead.
And somewhere, quietly, the thought settles inâ
You donât know which version of him was real.
Or if any of it ever was.
You donât move on to another photo frame in the room.
Your eyes linger on him instead.
He hasnât looked at you again.
But you know he knows youâre looking at him.
So you move.
Slowly.
Deliberately.
Each step soft against the hardwood, the quiet tap of your bare feet almost rhythmic, almost intentional. Not loud enough to demand attentionâjust enough to be noticed.
You watch him as you approach.
The way his shoulders hold just a little tighter than they should.
The way he doesnât turn.
Heâs pretending.
You can tell.
The corner of your mouth almost lifts.
You stop a few feet away.
Close enough to notice.
Not close enough to disturb.
Your weight shifts onto the balls of your feet, a subtle sway in your stance as you balance there, your legs crossing and uncrossing slightly without thought. Your hands move behind your back, fingers twisting together, fidgetingânot nervous, not quiteâjust something to do with the energy building under your skin.
You let the silence stretch.
Thenâ
âBen.â
Itâs quiet.
Soft enough that, for anyone else, it might have gone unnoticed.
But not him.
Never him.
The vacuum cuts off immediately.
The sudden silence feels louder than the noise ever did.
He turns.
Looks at you.
Thereâs a flicker thereâbrief, sharp.
Surprise.
Not at your presence.
At the name.
You hold his gaze.
âBenâŠâ you say again, a little clearer this time. Thereâs something different in your tone nowânot the careful uncertainty he had heard the last time you called him that, not the hesitant edge you used to carry around him at work.
Something softer.
Something almost⊠playful.
âIâm hungry.â
His lips part slightly, like heâs about to correct you. To say something about the name, about the way you said it.
He doesnât.
Instead, he shifts.
Reorients.
âItâs almost lunch,â he says, defaulting to something practical. Measured. âYou can wait.â
You tilt your head slightly.
A small pout forms before you can stop itâor maybe you donât try to stop it at all.
âIâm hungry now.â
Thereâs a pause.
You can see it in himâthe calculation.
The hesitation.
Heâs thinking.
About whether this matters. Whether itâs necessary. Whether it fits into whatever structure heâs trying to maintain.
Your eyes stay on him.
Unblinking.
Then you step closer.
Just a little.
And thatâ
that makes him tense.
Itâs subtle. Most people wouldnât notice it.
You do.
You stop just within reach.
Close enough that the space between you feels intentional.
âPlease,â you murmur.
Soft.
Quiet.
But your eyesâ
Your eyes donât beg.
They donât lower. Donât soften in the way they should.
They hold him.
And for a momentâ
Before he looks away.
âFine,â he says quickly, the words coming a little too fast, like he wants to end the moment before it stretches any further. âFineâjustâŠâ
He doesnât finish it.
He turns instead, already moving toward the kitchen.
You follow.
The space shifts around you both as he opens the fridge, light spilling out across his face as he looks inside, scanning, organizing even now.
âWhat do you want?â he asks.
You lean back against the counter, then lift yourself up onto it without asking, settling on the edge like you belong there.
Like this is yours.
âI donât know.â
He exhales sharply.
The fridge door closes a little harder than necessary.
You donât flinch.
Not even a little.
He turns toward you.
Steps closer.
And thenâ
heâs there.
Right in front of you.
He moves into your space without asking, slotting himself between your knees as if itâs the most natural thing in the world.
You let your legs part for him.
Your gaze never leaves his.
His hands come down on either side of you, bracing against the edge of the counter. Closeâso closeâbut not touching you. Not quite.
Close enough that you can feel the presence of him there.
The heat.
The restraint.
âYouâre not really hungry, are you,â he says.
Itâs quieter now.
More focused.
You tilt your head slightly, watching him.
âMaybe notâŠâ you murmur.
A pause.
âMaybe yesâŠâ
Your fingers press lightly into the edge of the counter beside you.
Your voice softens just a fraction.
âMaybeâŠâ you continue, your eyes still locked on his, âI just want to taste something on my tongue.â
The air shifts.
Subtle.
But immediate.
You see it in himâthe way something tightens, sharpens. A flicker behind his eyes, not quite anger, not quite confusion.
Something closer to restraint.
He watches you.
Really watches you now.
Like heâs trying to figure out what you are in this moment.
What youâve become.
And whether it fits anywhere in the version of you he understands.
Or if it doesnâtâ
what that means for him.
His eyes stay on you a second too long.
Something tight.
Something searching.
And then it snaps.
âWhat are you playing at?â
The question lands flat between youâcontrolled, but edged. Not loud. Not explosive. Just⊠precise. Like heâs trying to pin something down before it moves again.
You blink at him.
Slow.
âI donât know what youâre talking about.â
Your voice is soft. Barely above a whisper.
He hates that.
You can see it.
Because it forces him to lean inânot physically, but mentally. Forces him to listen, to focus on every word like he might miss something important if he doesnât catch it the first time.
âNo,â he says quickly, sharper now. âNoâyou know exactly what youâre doing. Youââ
âAre you disturbed by me?â
You cut in before he can finish.
Clean.
Direct.
It stops him.
Not completelyâbut enough.
âWhat?â
âYes,â you continue, as if he had answered. Your head tilts slightly, your gaze steady on his. âAre you disturbed by me?â
A beat.
âDo you see me as⊠perverted?â
His jaw tightens.
There it is.
That word.
You donât look away.
âAfter all,â you go on, quieter now, almost thoughtful, âthatâs what you said, isnât it? You wanted me to understand what it feels like.â
His eyes narrow slightly.
âYes,â he says. âButââ
âOr was it the kiss.â
Thatâ
That does it.
Something shifts.
Not outwardly. Not in a way most people would catch.
But you feel it.
The space between you changes.
Just slightly.
Standing between your knees no longer feels like control.
It feels⊠contained.
His mouth stills.
You lean back just a fraction, your head tilting as your gaze driftsâdown.
To his lips.
Thereâs a faint discoloration there. Darker in one corner.
Bitten.
You notice.
A smile touches your mouth.
Not soft.
Not kind.
Something quieter.
Sharper.
âWas that your first kiss?â you murmur.
It lands.
And this timeâ
he reacts.
His hand comes up fast, gripping your jaw, fingers pressing in just enough to control the angle of your face.
Your breath catchesâ
sharpâ
but you donât pull away.
You donât even look startled.
If anythingâ
you look like you were waiting for it.
Thatâ
that irritates him more than anything youâve said.
âDonât forget where you are,â he says, lower nowâbut tighter. Not just controlled. Strained.
His grip on your jaw sharpens, fingers pressing in like he needs the contact to anchor the moment.
âThis is my house.â
A beat.
âYou donât get toââ he stops himself, jaw clenching, recalibrating. âYou donât get to act all smart just cause I gave you some privileges."
His eyes lock onto yours, searching for somethingâcompliance, maybe. Recognition. Anything that puts this back into place.
âYouâre here because I allow it,â he continues, more deliberate now, like heâs laying out facts to steady himself. âYou donât leave unless I say so. Youâre in chains when Iâm gone. No one knows where you are. No one would even know if I hurt you.â
His thumb shifts slightly against your jaw.
âI decide what happens to you.â
A pause.
âYou live off my mercy. Remember that.â
You hold his gaze. Unblinking.Â
âSo,â you breathe.Â
âIs that what it was?â
 A flicker in his expression.Â
âMercy?â Your voice stays calm.
 Too calm.Â
âWas it mercy,â you continue, âwhen you let me choke you?â
His jaw clenches.
âThatâs different.â
âNoâŠâ you murmur, almost gently. âI donât think it is.â
Your hand shifts slightly against the counter behind you, grounding yourselfânot retreating.
âI think you wanted me to be something.â
A pause.
âYou want to change me into something and nowâ
You let out a huff of a laugh.
âNow you donât know what I am.â
He looks at youâ
Like heâs trying to place you back into something familiar and failing.
Thereâs something almost alien in his expression now. Not fear. Not quite.
Disorientation.
You lean forward just a little.
Close enough that your voice doesnât have to rise.
âDo you want to know what I am, Ben?â
The name lands differently this time.
Softer.
Closer.
Too close.
His grip loosens.
Not all at onceâjust a fraction, the pressure at your jaw easing like something in him slipped, lost its footing.
And thenâ
he lets go.
Not abruptly. Not clean.
His hand lingers for half a second too long before dropping, like he hadnât fully decided to release you.
He takes a step back.
Small.
Measured.
To create space.
Air.
Like he needs it.
Like something about youâabout thisâhas gotten too close to something he canât sort through fast enough.
But you donât let it happen.
Your legs move before the gap can fully formâbefore he can step again, before the moment can cool.
They slide around his hips, hooking behind him and pulling him forward with a quiet, deliberate insistence.
The movement is smooth.
Intentional.
It closes the distance instantly.
His body reacts on instinct.
Tensesâsharp, immediate.
A flicker of resistance runs through him, muscle tightening under your hold like he might push back, break free, reestablish the space he just tried to create.
His hands shift slightly at his sides, fingers flexingâready.
But he doesnât.
He stops.
Held thereânot by strength, not reallyâ
but by the way youâre looking at him.
Your knees press lightly into his sides, anchoring him just enough to make him aware of every inch of contact.
Your body doesnât lean into him.
Doesnât retreat either.
You just⊠hold him there.
Close.
Contained in your space now.
His breath changes.
Subtle.
Not steady.
Not quite unevenâbut not controlled the way it was before.
His gaze flickersâjust onceâdown, tracking the proximity, the shift in position, the reversal he didnât initiate.
Then back up.
To your eyes.
Still watching.
Still trying to understand.
And you keep talking.
âI want to understand it,â you say quietly.
Not rushed.
Not desperate.
Measured.
Careful.
Your legs tighten just slightly around his hipsânot enough to restrain, just enough to remind him youâre still there. Still close.
Your voice softens.
âBut you said it, didnât you?â
A small tilt of your head.
âWhen somethingâs under your handsâŠâ
You donât finish it immediately.
Let it sit.
Let him reach for it.
Your eyes stay on hisâwatching for the shift.
âFor a second,â you continue, quieter now, âit feelsâŠgood.â
A pause.
Your fingers curl slightly against the counter behind you.
Grounding.
âBut only if you donât stop.â
That lands closer to him.
You can see it.
So you pushâjust a little further.
âThatâs what you meant, right?â
Not accusing.
Not mocking.
Inviting.
Understanding.
âYou wanted me to feel that.â
Your voice dropsâalmost gentle now.
âAnd I did.â
A beat.
You donât look away.
âSo why did you stop?â
Silence holds.
Not empty.
Loaded.
Dexter doesnât move at first.
But something in his expression changesâsubtle at first, then unmistakable.
The confusion doesnât vanish.
It reorganizes.
You can almost see it happening.
Like scattered pieces being pulled into a single shape.
Not complete.
But coherent.
Recognition settles inânot of you fully, not yetâbut of what you meant.
What you were pointing toward.
That pressure.
That edge.
That moment where something inside you shifts and you donât step away from it.
His breathing changes.
Slightly deeper.
Controlled againâbut differently now.
Like control has found a direction.
His hand comes up.
Not sudden.
Not hesitant either.
Certain.
It grips your faceâfirm enough to anchor you, but not to force. Just to hold you still in place while he decides.
His eyes donât search anymore.
They lock.
And in that stillnessâ
something snaps into alignment.
Not emotional clarity.
Not softness.
Decision.
His grip tightens by a fraction.
And thenâ
he moves.
Itâs not gradual.
It doesnât build.
It breaks forward.
His mouth meets yours like a conclusion arriving too late to be gentle.
Immediate.
Final in its own way.
No testing.
No hesitation.
Just the closing of distance that had already been decided moments earlier in his head.
Like a line being crossed because standing on the other side stopped making sense.
Your breath catches sharply against him.
The impact is disorientingânot romantic, not tenderâjust forceful in its certainty.
For a brief second, everything aligns in a way that feels almost like relief.
Then it deepens.
Not careful.
Not restrained.
Heâs not exploring you.
Heâs confirming something.
His hand tightens at your jaw again, anchoring you there as if movement would undo the conclusion heâs just reached.
Like if he lets go, it might stop making sense again.
Your lips move against hisâand it doesnât feel like a choice anymore so much as a continuation of something already set in motion.
Something neither of you fully named.
A need finding shape.
The moment your lips part for breath, he follows, closing the space again like he canât tolerate it existing. His hand slides from your jawâdown, firmâfinding your hip and pulling you forward, closer to the edge of the counter.
Closer to him.
You try to match himâ
you canât.
Itâs too much.
Too fast.
Heâs not kissing you like heâs learningâ
heâs kissing you like heâs claiming something heâs just decided is his to understand.
Your hands come up instinctively, gripping the fabric of his shirt, pushingâjust enough to create space, to breatheâ
and you turn your head.
Air hits your lungs sharp, uneven.
A shaky inhaleâ
But he doesnât stop.
Doesnât pause.
His mouth drops from yoursâfinding your jaw, your neckâmovement uncoordinated in a way that isnât careless, but urgent. Searching. Mapping. Like heâs trying to locate that same alignment again through contact alone.
His other hand shiftsâimpatient nowâfingers catching at the fabric near your collar, dragging it aside without thought, without care for how it tore.
Just so itâs not in the way.
So he can feelâ
so he canâ
A pressure at your collarboneâsharp enough to pull a sound from you before you can stop it.
He bites.
Your body reacts.
A small, involuntary soundâhalf breath, half something else.
And thatâ
that only seems to push him further.
Because now youâre reacting.
Now thereâs feedback.
Now thereâs something he can read.
âBenââ you manage, breathless, uneven.
He doesnât respond.
Not because heâs ignoring youâ
but because heâs not there anymore.
Not in a way that understands names, or tone, or restraint.
His focus has narrowed into something singular.
Something consuming.
His hand shifts againâ
but this time it doesnât just hold.
It presses.
Guides.
A firm pressure at your side, at your hipâsubtle at first, then more certain as he leans in, crowding your space until your balance gives way.
Your back meets the counter.
Cold.
Unforgiving.
The impact isnât harshâbut itâs enough to pull a breath from you, sharp and uneven, your body reacting before your thoughts can catch up.
Dex follows.
Close.
Too close.
One hand braced beside you, the other firm at your hip, keeping you there as he leans over youâclosing the space you tried to make, replacing it with his mouth down the exposed parts of your body.
Something you canât step out of.
Your shoulders press back instinctively, spine arching slightly against the edge of the counter. Itâs uncomfortableâthereâs no way to settle into it, nowhere to rest properlyâbut he doesnât adjust you.
He doesnât notice.
Or he doesâand it doesnât matter.
Your head tips back just enough, breath catching again as your body tries to find space that isnât there.
And stillâ
he stays.
Close.
Focused.
Locked into you in a way that doesnât feel soft, doesnât feel carefulâ
but it feels like attention.
Your fingers tighten at the back of his shirt without thinking.
The fabric bunches under your grip.
You should push him away.
You know that.
You shouldâ
But you donât.
Because heâs still here.
Because he didnât pull away this time.
Because he didnât leave.
Your thoughts slipâuneven, overlapping.
This isnât right.
This isnâtâ
It hurts.
Not sharp.
Not unbearable.
Just enough to remind you this isnât something gentle. Not something meant to be held onto.
And stillâ
you do.
Your breath stutters as he leans in again, closer, your body reacting before you can decide how to feel about it.
Itâs too much.
Too fast.
Too close.
And yetâ
you donât want him to stop.
The thought comes quiet at first.
Then louder.
Donât stop.
It doesnât sound like your voice in your head.
It doesnât feel like a decision.
Just something rising up through everything else.
Because if he stopsâ
this ends.
And if it endsâ
he goes back to looking at you like he doesnât understand.
Like youâre something misplaced.
Like you donât matter in the way thisâthis momentâmakes you feel like you do.
Your grip tightens.
Not pushing.
Holding.
Grounding yourself in him like heâs the only solid thing in the room.
Please.
Please donât stop.
Please donât leave.
Pleaseâ
Your back presses harder into the counter with every jerk of your body, the cold biting through, anchoring you in your body again, in the discomfort, in the reality of where you are.
What this is.
What it isnât.
And stillâ
you tilt your head back.
Let it happen.
Because for a momentâ
just a momentâ
it feels like youâre not invisible.
Like he sees you.
Not correctly.
Not safely.
But fully.
And thatâ
that is enough to make you stay right where you are.
The bathwater has long since stilled.
Only the faintest movement disturbs it nowâsmall shifts of your body, the quiet displacement of water against porcelain, a soft ripple that fades as quickly as it forms.
Steam clings to everything.
The mirror is fogged over completely, the edges dripping slowly, beads of condensation gathering and falling in soft, irregular taps against the sink below. The air feels thick, damp, almost suffocating in its warmth.
The overhead light is off.
Only that thin strip of afternoon seeps through the barely open doorâcutting across the white tile in a narrow line, staining it a muted orange where it stretches along the floor and up the side of the tub.
It shouldnât feel so dim.
But it does.
You sit submerged just beneath the surface, shoulders barely above the waterline, your skin prickling despite the heat. Goosebumps rise faintly along your arms, your thighs, a contradiction your body doesnât bother to resolve.
Your fingers slip beneath the water.
Searching.
Finding.
The inside of your thigh.
You press thereâslow, deliberate.
The marks answer immediately.
Tender.
Bruised.
A dull, lingering ache that spreads outward under your touch.
You press again.
Harder this time.
Just to feel it properly.
Just to make sure.
Good.
The thought settles easily.
Because the ache is real.
Because it grounds you.
Because it tells you this happenedâactually happenedâand not just something your mind twisted into existence.
Your thumb drags over the same spot once moreâ
and thenâ
arms.
Sliding around you from behind.
Breaking the stillness.
Firm.
Immediate.
Dexâs chest presses to your back as he pulls you into him, water shifting around both of you in a slow, heavy swell that laps against the edge of the tub before settling again.
You donât startle.
You donât pull away.
Your body yields almost before you decide to let itâleaning back into him, fitting into the space he makes like itâs already been shaped for you.
His skin is warmer than the water.
Or maybe it just feels that way.
His hold is secure.
Not tight enough to hurtâ
but not loose enough to ignore.
Thereâs intent in it.
Placement.
As if heâs making sure you stay exactly where you are.
His hands begin to move.
Slowly.
Deliberately.
Not wandering.
Not admiring.
They trace.
Across your shoulder.
Down your arm.
Pausing where the skin shiftsâwhere color deepensâwhere something has been left behind.
His fingers press lightly over each mark.
Testing.
Noticing.
Returning again, as if confirming theyâre still there.
That they havenât disappeared.
That they meant something.
You let your head tip back, resting against his shoulder.
The position isnât quite comfortableâyour neck angled slightly, your knees pressed awkwardly against the curve of the tubâbut you donât adjust.
Behind you, his mouth brushes your temple.
A brief contact.
Then your cheek.
Measured.
Placed more than felt.
âWhat happened,â he murmurs, his voice low, close enough that it blends with the warmth around you, âwas important.â
His breath ghosts over damp skin.
Thereâs a pause.
You feel it in the way his arms shiftâtightening just slightly around your torso.
âVery important.â
Your gaze doesnât leave the strip of light ahead of you.
It cuts across the tile like something distant. Something outside of this space entirely.
ââŠreally?â you whisper.
Your voice is soft.
Not questioning.
Just⊠offering him something to respond to.
âReally.â
His fingers slide up along your collarbone, dragging water with them, leaving cool trails that disappear almost as soon as they form.
âYouâre⊠important to that,â he adds.
The sentence falters.
Reworks itself.
âYouâre very special to me.â
The words donât land like a confession.
They land like a conclusion.
Like something he arrived at.
Your eyes remain fixed forward.
The light flickers faintly as something shifts beyond the door, and for a moment, it feels further away than it should.
Detached.
Your focus drifts with it.
Just slightly.
Just enough.
Behind youâ
his arms tighten.
More noticeably this time.
A correction.
A response.
He feels it.
The shift in you.
The distance.
Your body reacts before your mind doesâa small shudder passing through you, subtle but enough.
âOf course,â you murmur, voice steady despite the way your thoughts lag behind it.
âI know that.â
The effect is immediate.
You feel it in him.
The tension easingânot gone, never goneâbut reduced, contained.
His mouth presses to your cheek again.
Then your jaw.
Then lower, near the curve where your neck meets your shoulder.
Not exploratory.
Not impulsive.
Repetitive.
Like heâs trying to recreate something.
Your breathing shifts.
And thenâ
his does too.
It falls into rhythm with yoursânot perfectly, but close enough to notice. Close enough that it feels intentional.
He isnât just holding you.
Heâs trying to match you.
To follow.
To understand through imitation.
His grip tightens againânot enough to hurt.
Just enough to keep you from slipping.
Like you might disappear if he doesnât hold on properly.
âIâm hereâŠâ you whisper.
The words come easily.
Not because theyâre true.
But because they work.
Because you can feel how he listens.
âIâm here.â
Your fingers drift lazily through the water, tracing absent shapes against his thigh where it presses beside yoursâslow, idle movements that donât mean anything and yetâŠ
You donât stop.
ââŠIâll always be here.â
That lands deeper.
You feel it in the way his body shiftsâhis forehead lowering, pressing into the back of your shoulder.
Closer.
Heavier.
As if heâs trying to anchor himself there.
As if heâs listening for something underneath your words.
Your heartbeat.
Your breath.
Proof that youâre still present.
Still within reach.
Still something he can hold onto.
For a momentâ
everything stills again.
The water.
The air.
The space between you.
Thenâ
ââŠhave you ever done this before?â
Your voice is soft.
Not heavy.
Almost curious.
Behind you, Dex shifts slightly.
You feel it in the way the water moves, the subtle tightening of his arms where they rest around you.
A breath.
Then a small scoffâquiet, but there.
âIâm not a virgin,â he says.
Thereâs something almost defensive in it.
Automatic.
You shake your head slightly.
âNo,â you murmur. âI didnât mean that.â
A pause.
You search for the wordsâand donât quite find them.
ââŠthis,â you finish instead.
It hangs there.
Undefined.
Dex doesnât answer right away.
You feel itâthe way his body stills, the way his grip loosens just slightly as his attention shifts inward.
Thinking.
Thenâ
his arms slip away from you.
The sudden absence is noticeable.
The water shifts as you turn, slowly, the surface breaking against your shoulders as you face him.
He leans back against the tub, head resting against the porcelain edge, gaze angled somewhere above youânot quite meeting your eyes.
âBack in the military,â he says after a moment, voice flatter now, more distant, âI slept with a lot of people.â
The words are blunt.
Unadorned.
âItâs justâŠâ he exhales lightly through his nose, searching for something more precise. âA blur.â
His eyes flick down briefly, then away again.
âMost of themâI donât remember.â
The admission sits there.
Not heavy with shame.
Just⊠empty.
âIâm notââ he starts, then stops.
His jaw tightens slightly.
âIâm not proud of that.â
That part comes out different.
Less certain.
His gaze shifts to you nowâquick, sharp, measuring.
Thereâs something there.
Not guilt.
Not exactly.
But something closer to⊠calculation.
Waiting.
You donât react immediately.
You just look at him.
Thenâ
âItâs okay,â you say.
Simple.
Soft.
âI get it.â
That makes him pause.
Actually pause.
His expression shiftsâsubtle, but clear. Something in his shoulders loosens, just slightly, like tension he didnât realize he was holding gives way.
âYou do?â he asks.
You nod faintly.
âI havenât done the same,â you add. âNot like that but..something similar.â
A small pause.
ââŠjust one.â
His focus sharpens again.
âWho?â
The question comes quickly.
Direct.
You glance down at the water, watching the way it moves around your hands before answering.
âMy momâs friend,â you say.
The words sit strangely between you.
You donât look up right awayâbut you can feel it, the way it catches him off guard. A pause. A flicker of something you donât bother naming.
You continue anyway.
âI met him when I was in college,â you say, voice steady, almost absent. âHe was an artist. Older. Quiet, mostly.â
Your fingers skim the surface, drawing slow, meaningless lines that disappear as soon as they form.
âHe said he was divorced.â A small pause. âOr⊠something like that.â
You tilt your head slightly, like youâre trying to remember it properlyâbut not really trying that hard.
âI didnât really care about him,â you add.
That part comes easily.
âNot like that.â
Dex is still. Watching. You can feel it even without looking.
You keep your gaze on the water.
âThough I liked the little stories he would tell me after sex,â you say instead.
Part 3<<<<
A.N: Guys if there is any plot holes I have please tell me. Cause I just realize while revisiting my old post, I forgot reader thinks Dex is the real Daredevil and thinks he's against Fisk. I did put her being confused why Daredevil would work for Fisk but I have a feeling that subplot has been thrown out of the window with how the story is going.
So please if you guys feel like there are some parts of the story that is lacking. Your voice is always heard by me.
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A.N: Ok so I do have to warn you guys. This chapter includes some really heavy themes. So if you are not 18+, I would highly advice you to skip. I will put a warning before the disturbing scene so you can scroll until you see another divider to skip. Thank you and enjoy.
You jolt at the sound of the front door unlocking.
The click is sharp. Final.
Your hands move before you thinkâpaper shoved quickly into the far corner of the closet, pushed deep enough that it disappears into shadow. Out of sight. Not goneâbut hidden.
For now.
You straighten too fast, knees protesting, and step out of the closet just as the door opens fully.
You stop at the bedroom doorway.
Wait.
His voice comes first.
âY/N? Iâm home.â
It echoes lightly through the apartmentâcasual, familiar, like nothing is wrong. Like this is something normal people say to each other at the end of a long day.
You donât answer.
You donât know how.
So you stand there instead.
And then he appears.
Dexter rounds the corner, already smiling when he sees you.
âHey, doll,â he says easily, like heâs stepping into something warm. âHowâve you been?â
Thereâs something different in his toneâlighter, almost⊠eager.
Before you can respond, he closes the distance and pulls you into a hug.
You stiffen for a second.
Then return itâawkward, delayed, your hands resting against his back without quite knowing where to go.
Itâs not the first time.
But this oneâ
feels⊠charged. Like heâs holding onto something he hasnât said yet.
âWelcome home,â you murmur, the words coming out softer than you intend. âDid you bring my stuff?â
He pulls back just enough to look at you, grin widening.
âYeah. Look.â
He lifts the plastic bag slightly, the contents shifting insideâfamiliar shapes, familiar colors.
Your clothes.
Your books.
Something in your chest loosens at the sight of them.
âOhâthank you, Iââ
You reach for it instinctively.
He pulls it back.
Just out of reach.
âUh-uh,â he says lightly. âWait. Iâve gotta show you something.â
Your hand stills mid-air.
You look at himâconfused, uncertain.
He doesnât seem to notice.
He moves past you, setting the bag down on the bed, already starting to open it.
You hesitate.
Thereâs something else you need to say.
Something more immediate.
Your fingers move before your voice doesâlightly catching his sleeve.
He turns to you immediately.
Attentive.
âWhat?â
You donât meet his eyes.
You just point.
Down.
To your ankle.
His gaze follows.
A beat.
ThenââOh. Right.â
He exhales lightly, almost apologetic.
âSorry. I forgot.â
He kneels in front of you.
Just like that.
Casual.
Close.
Too close.
His hand comes to your ankle without hesitation, lifting your leg slightly and settling your foot against his thigh for balance.
The contact is firm.
Grounding.
Wrong.
Your breath catches.
Not because it hurts.
Because it doesnât.
Because itâs steady. Certain. Like heâs done this a hundred times beforeâlike your body fits into his hands without resistance, without question.
Like this is where youâre supposed to be.
It makes something twist in your chest.
Itâs not the touch itself.
Itâs the way he does itâabsent of doubt, absent of hesitation. As if thereâs no line heâs crossing. As if there was never a line to begin with.
You hate that.
You hate how easily he moves you.
You hate how your body responds before your mind can catch up.
He doesnât notice.
Heâs already pulling the key from his pocket, attention fixed on the cuff.
Metal against metal.
A small shift.
He tries to slide it inâ
it doesnât go.
He clicks his tongue, irritated.
âHold on.â
His grip tightens slightly as he adjusts your ankle, angling it differently, thumb pressing just enough to keep you steady.
Your body reacts before you can stop itâa small shudder, your hand instinctively finding his shoulder to ground yourself.
The contact only makes it worse.
Because now you can feel everything.
The weight of his hand around your ankle.
The warmth of his thigh beneath your foot.
The solid line of his shoulder under your palm.
Too much.
Too present.
Too real.
âDexââ you whisper, your voice thinner than you expect.
âIâve got it,â he says, not looking up.
Focused.
Detached.
Like none of this means what it means to you.
He shifts the key again.
It scrapes.
Doesnât catch.
You swallow.
Your fingers tighten against his shoulderânot to pull him closer, not to push him awayâjust to hold onto something that feels stable while everything else tilts.
âDex,â you try again, softer this time.
Breath catching.
Not a protest.
Not quite.
Just⊠a need for him to notice.
He doesnât.
Or he doesnât understand what heâs supposed to notice.
He shakes the cuff slightly, metal clinking as he forces the mechanism to align.
Your body jolts at the movement.
A small gasp slips out before you can stop it.
Itâs too much.
The closeness.
The way heâs right there, hands on you, steady and unthinking.
The way your body reacts like it remembers something it shouldnât.
Your heart is beating too fast.
And heâ
is still just trying to unlock it.
A click.
Finally.
âThere,â he exhales, a quiet, satisfied breath leaving him. âGot it.â
The cuff loosens.
Falls away.
Just like that.
He lets out a small huff of a laugh, turning it in his hand.
âI think I need to oil these,â he mutters. âTheyâre getting stiff.â
Then he looks up.
And pauses.
Because youâ
youâre flushed.
Breathing uneven.
Eyes unfocused for just a second too long.
Like youâre somewhere else.
Not here.
Not with him.
He frowns slightly.
Confused.
Because to himâ
it was just a task.
And he doesnât understand why it wasnât just that for you.
You step back.
Too quickly.
The distance snaps into place between you.
You donât look at him.
Canât.
Your gaze dropsâsearching for something, anythingâ
and lands on the plastic bag.
âDid you⊠find my house clothes?â you ask, the shift in topic too abrupt to be natural.
You move toward the bed before he can respond, already reaching for the bag.
Behind you, he stands.
Watching.
Thereâs a beat where he doesnât moveâsomething in your reaction not aligning with what he expected.
But thenâ
he lets it go.
For now.
He nudges the cuff under the bed with his foot, out of sight, and follows you.
âYeah,â he says. âYour closet was a mess.â
A faint edge slips into his tone.
âI had to fight my way through it.â
You still, just slightly.
ââŠsorry,â you murmur.
Quiet.
Automatic.
âI didnât have time to clean it.â
Like itâs a task you could go back to doing, but you both know that wonât be any time soon.
You pull your books out first.
One by one.
Checking the covers, the worn edges, the folded corners you remember leaving behind. Making sure theyâre yours. That he actually brought your things backânot just something that looks like them.
Beside you, Dexter is watching.
Quiet.
Then something shifts in his expressionâlike heâs just remembered something.
âOhââ he says lightly. âYou know, while I was digging through your closetâŠâ
You pause.
Turn slightly.
âI found something.â
Your brows knit.
âWhatââ
Heâs already reaching into the bag again.
Digging.
Casual.
Unaware.
Thenâ
he pulls it out.
Black.
Thin.
Lace dress.
Delicate fabric slipping between his fingers like it doesnât belong in his hands.
Your stomach drops.
Your face follows.
âOh myâDexââ
You move immediately, reaching for itâbut he pulls it back just as quickly, lifting it higher, just out of reach.
âWait,â he says, almost amused. âIs this seriously yours?â
âDex, give it back.â
Your voice comes out tighter than you intend.
He tilts his head slightly, examining it.
âYou know⊠I never took you for the type to have something like this.â
âDexâstop.â
You step closer, fingers gripping his shirt, rising onto your toes to reach itâbut he lifts it higher again, just enough to keep it out of your grasp.
âHave you worn it?â he asks, curiosity threading through his tone. âOr is it justââ
âDex, give it back.â
Your voice cracks slightly now.
You hate that.
He doesnât seem to notice.
âCome on,â he presses, still holding it up, still just out of reach. âHave you worn it for someone?â
âNoâDexââ
Your fingers tighten in his shirt, pulling yourself up againâ
âand thenâ
his foot catches.
The chain behind him.
A misstep.
A shift.
He stumbles backward.
You donât have time to react.
The world tiltsâ
âand suddenlyâ
youâre falling.
He hits the floor first.
You land on top of him.
A soft impact, air knocked slightly from your lungsâ
your hands braced against his chestâ
your breath catchingâ
and thenâ
you realize.
Youâre straddling him.
Your body freezes.
For a second too long though Dex didnât notice.
Instead he laughs.
Itâs immediate. Unfiltered.
Genuine.
His hand comes up, covering part of his face as he exhales through the laugh, shoulders shaking slightly beneath you.
âJesusââ
He sounds⊠entertained.
Like this is funny.
Like this is fun.
Your hand moves quickly.
You snatch the fabric from his grip, pulling it close, clutching it tightly against your chest like you can hide it again just by holding it.
But itâs too late.
Heâs still laughing.
Still smiling.
Still replaying the look on your face when he pulls it out the bag.
And something inside youâ
cracks.
Your hands come up.
Covering your face.
You donât even realize youâre shaking until itâs already happening.
Your shoulders tremble.
Your breath breaksâ
and thenâ
youâre crying.
Not quiet.
Not controlled.
It spills out of you before you can stop it.
Dexterâs laughter falters.
Stops.
His hand drops from his face.
He looks at youâreally looks this time.
ââŠhey.â
He pushes himself up slightly, one hand coming to your arm.
You flinch.
Push him away.
His grip tightens instead.
Firm.
Not aggressiveâbut not letting go.
âHeyâwhatâwhatâs wrong?â he asks, confused, trying to catch your face. âI thoughtâwe were justââ
You shake your head, trying to pull away, but his other hand finds your waist, holding you in place when you try to shift off him.
âIâm notââ your voice breaks, breath hitching, âIâm not having fun.â
He pauses.
Blinks.
ââŠyouâre not?â
Thereâs a beat.
Thenâ
âWell⊠I am,â he says, like that should mean something. âIsnât thatââ
He stops.
Because youâre looking at him now.
Really looking.
And your expressionâ
doesnât match anything he expected.
ââŠthe same?â he finishes anyway, softer this time.
You stare at him like heâs said something incomprehensible.
Like the words donât belong in the same world as you.
And then you cry harder.
Because thereâs nothing to grab onto in what heâs saying.
No logic that helps.
No place where this makes sense.
You want to get away.
From him.
From this.
From the way everything almost feels normal until it doesnâtâuntil it breaks, sharp and sudden, and reminds you that none of this is real.
That none of it is right.
You wantedâ
something else.
Something softer.
Something human.
And insteadâ
this.
His hands hesitate.
Hover.
He doesnât touch you again.
Not immediately.
He looks⊠stuck.
Confused.
A flicker of irritation creeping inânot at you, but at the situation. At the fact that this doesnât align. That something went wrong and he doesnât know where.
ââŠokay,â he says after a moment. âFine.â
His voice is quieter now. More controlled.
âIâm sorry.â
It doesnât sound like guilt.
It sounds like adjustment.
âIf you donât like it, I wonât do it again.â
A pause.
Thenâ
âJust⊠stop crying.â
He exhales lightly, like heâs trying to fix something he canât quite see.
âAnd tell me what I did wrong.â
Not soft.
Not comforting.
Corrective.
Like heâs asking for instructions.
Through your tearsâ
you look at him.
Really look.
Searching.
For a secondâ
just a secondâ
it almost sounds like he means it.
And thatâ
thatâs what makes you answer.
Your voice, when it comes, is quieter than you expectâbut steadier than before.
ââŠI donât like being made into a joke.â
Dexter stills.
You swallow, forcing the words out before you lose them.
âNot here,â you add, softer, your grip tightening. âNot when Iââ
You stop yourself. Start again.
âWhen I already look like this.â
A breath.
Your throat feels tight, but you keep going.
âIt just⊠makes me feelââ you hesitate, searching for something that doesnât sound as small as it feels. ââŠlike Iâm something to laugh at.â
The last part comes out thinner.
More honest than you intended.
Thereâs a pause.
Not longâbut enough for the air between you to shift.
âOh.â
Itâs immediate.
Quiet.
âIâm sorry,â he says.
You glance up, just slightly.
He doesnât look defensive.
He looks⊠genuinely uncertain. Like heâs missed a step somewhere and is trying to find it.
âI didnât know I was doing that,â he continues, slower now, piecing it together as he speaks. âI meanâI thoughtâŠâ
His gaze drops.
To the dress in your hands.
ââŠI was just surprised,â he finishes. âI didnât expect you to have something like that.â
Thereâs no edge to it now.
No teasing.
Just observation.
Curiosity.
âI wasnât trying to make you feel like that,â he adds, quieter. âReally.â
You hesitate.
You donât know if you believe him.
But you want to.
So you look down again.
At the lace in your hands.
Thin.
Delicate.
Too exposed.
ââŠitâs mine,â you admit, barely above a whisper.
He doesnât interrupt.
That almost makes it worse.
Because now you have space to speakâand you donât know how to fill it.
Your fingers curl into the fabric.
âWhen I was youngerâŠâ you start, voice still shaky, âI always thought things like this wereâŠâ
You hesitate.
âShameful.â
The word feels heavy coming out.
You donât look at him.
âMaybe it was just⊠the way I grew up,â you continue. âThe women around meâthey talked about stuff like this like it was⊠wrong. Or dirty.â
You let out a small breath.
âI used to think it was kind of⊠perverted.â
Dexterâs voice cuts in, softer than before.
âPerverted?â
You nod.
A small, almost embarrassed motion.
âYeah.â
A pause.
Thenâ
âOne time I just⊠wanted to know what it felt like,â you admit.
Your voice gets quieter.
Like youâre confessing something you never said out loud before.
âI found it in a dollar store,â you say. âDidnât even check the size or anything. I just⊠bought it.â
A faint, almost hollow breath escapes you.
âShoved it in my bag right after. Didnât want anyone to see.â
Silence settles between you.
But itâs not empty.
Heâs listening.
You can feel it.
Thenâ
âDid you?â he asks.
You look up.
His expression is different now.
Focused.
Intent.
ââŠunderstand it?â he clarifies. âHow it feels.â
Thereâs something in his voice.
Something that doesnât match the question.
Not curiosity alone.
Something deeper.
You blink at him.
ââŠno,â you answer honestly. âI didnât.â
A beat.
Something changes in him.
Subtleâbut immediate.
Relief.
It softens his shoulders, sharpens his attention, lights something behind his eyes.
Like your answer matters in a way you donât fully understand.
His hand lifts.
Quick.
Instinctive.
It comes toward your face.
You flinchâ
just slightly.
But he doesnât seem to register it.
âDo you want to?â he asks.
Your brows knit.
âWhat?â
He smiles.
And itâs not the same smile from before.
This one is brighter.
Too eager.
âDo you want to know what it feels like?â he says.
Your stomach drops.
Thereâs something off in the way he says it.
Too certain.
Too ready.
âDexâwhat are youââ
âI can show you,â he says.
Like itâs simple.
Like itâs a solution.
Like this is something that can be given.
âWant me to make you feel perverted?â
The words land wrong.
Not because of what they meanâ
but because of how easily he offers it.
The mirror doesnât lie.
It never has.
You stare at yourself anyway.
Your eyes are still swollenâpink at the edges, lashes clumped slightly from tears you didnât fully wipe away. Your lips are darker than usual, bitten raw at the corner.
You look⊠altered.
Not in a way that feels intentional.
Your gaze drops.
Slowly.
The dress clings where it shouldnât.
Black laceâthin, uneven, translucent in places that make your stomach twist. It barely skims the tops of your thighs, too short, too light, too visible. Parts of you are suggested. Others are hidden just enough to make it worse.
You donât remember the last time you wore it.
If you ever really did.
Maybe you tried once.
Maybe you hated it.
Maybe thatâs why it disappeared into the back of your closet.
Your fingers come up, brushing through your hair. You try to fix itâshift it to one side, smooth it down, make it look⊠intentional.
Something.
Anything.
You tilt your head slightly.
No.
It doesnât fit.
Not you.
It feels like youâre wearing someone elseâs version of a body.
âY/N.â
Dexterâs voice cuts through the door.
âAre you ready?â
Your stomach tightens.
You hesitate.
Hand hovering over the handle.
You could stay here.
You couldâ
âY/N.â
Softer this time.
Waiting.
You swallow.
Then turn the handle.
Dexter is sitting at the edge of the bed when you step out.
Jacket gone.
Just a grey shirt, sleeves pushed slightly, dark denimâcasual in a way youâve rarely seen him. Relaxed.
Normal.
He looks up.
You freeze.
Right there, in the doorway.
Your gaze drops immediatelyâto the floor, to your own feet, anywhere but him.
ââŠhow does it look?â you murmur.
It barely sounds like a question.
âLooks great,â he says.
Simple.
Immediate.
You look upâjust slightly.
Confused.
Thereâs no pause in him. No reaction that matches what you expected.
No shift.
No hunger.
No judgment.
Just⊠acceptance.
Like youâre wearing something you usually do.
It unsettles you.
But at the same timeâ
it makes something loosen in your chest.
You step forward.
Slow.
Careful.
He reaches out.
You take his hand because there isnât really another choice.
His grip closes around yours, firm, steady, pulling you closer until youâre standing between his knees.
Close again.
Always close.
âHow do you feel?â he asks.
You donât answer right away.
Your fingers twitch in his hand, a small, useless movement, like you might pull awayâbut you donât. Not yet.
ââŠuncomfortable,â you say finally.
It comes out quieter than you intended.
He glances down at the dress, eyes moving over it with that same detached focus he gives everything else.
âThe fit looks fine,â he says. âIs the material too cheap?â
âNo.â
A pause.
Your throat tightens.
âItâs just⊠I feel too exposed.â
That, at least, seems to reach him.
A small shift in his expression. Subtle, but there.
âOkay.â
For a second, you think that might be the end of it.
It isnât.
His head tilts, studying you againânot the dress this time, but you.
âDo you think you look good in it?â
The question lands wrong.
You blink, caught off guard.
You donât know how to answer that. Not here. Not like this. Not with him watching you like youâre something to be figured out.
âI donât know.â
âDonât give me that,â he says, softer nowâbut firmer. âThink.â
Your stomach twists.
His gaze drops.
Slow.
Deliberate.
It moves over youânot hurried, not greedy, but thorough. Observing. Taking note.
It makes your skin prickle.
You feel it everywhere he looks.
âDo you feel good,â he continues, âwearing something⊠filthy?â
The word hits sharp.
You flinch.
ââŠwhat?â
His eyes lift back to yours, unblinking.
âWhen you look at yourself,â he says, âdo you see something you like⊠or something youâre supposed to hate?â
Your chest tightens.
Too fast.
Too close.
The question doesnât feel like a questionâit feels like something being peeled back.
You try to pull your hand away.
His grip tightens.
Not enough to hurt.
Enough to stop you.
To remind you.
Youâre still right here.
âWith this on,â he goes on, quieter now, voice lowering into something more intent, âdoes it make you feel like something else?â
Your pulse starts to climb.
âWhat do you meanââ
âLike you can do things you normally wouldnât.â
Your breath stutters.
Itâs not about the dress.
You know that now.
You donât know what it isâbut itâs not that.
Something underneath it.
Something heâs trying to get to.
And dragging you with him.
âDex⊠please.â
Your voice is thinner now.
Less steady.
His thumb shifts slightly against your hand, almost absent, but it keeps you there.
âLook at me.â
You hesitate.
You donât want to.
But something in his toneâsomething expectantâpulls it out of you anyway.
You look.
His eyes are locked on yours.
Too focused.
Too present.
âTell me,â he says, softer now, but heavier somehow. âDo you feel it?â
Your heart is beating too fast.
You shake your head slightlyâ
not an answer.
Just⊠resistance.
He watches you for a moment longer.
Not speaking.
Not moving.
Just⊠watching.
And thenâ
something in his face shifts.
Subtle.
But you feel it before you fully see it.
His gaze loses its sharpness. His shoulders ease back a fraction, like whatever he was searching for⊠isnât there.
Disappointment.
And something in youâ
reacts.
Fast.
Your hand moves before you can stop it.
Not careful. Not measured.
It grabs
âfingers closing around his jaw with a kind of urgency that feels almost desperate, like youâre trying to drag his attention back to you in the only way you know how.Â
Something physical. Something he canât ignore. Something that forces him to see you.
Dexter stills beneath you.
Completely.
His brows pull together, a flicker of confusion crossing his faceânot alarm, not even resistance.
 Just⊠disruption.Â
This isnât in his script. Not from you. Not after the way you hesitated, the way you shrank just minutes ago.
But he doesnât pull away.
He watches.
Waits.
Your hand doesnât leave.
It slides.
From his jawâslow, deliberate, your fingers tracing the line of it like youâre mapping something unfamiliarâ
down.
To his neck.
And the moment you touch itâ
you feel it.
His pulse.
Strong. Fast. Alive beneath your fingers in a way that makes your own breath catch.
Heâs there.
Real.
Not just the man who controls the room, the space, youâ
but something tangible. Something you can affect.
Your grip tightens.
Not enough to hurt.
But enough to press.
Enough to feel the shift beneath your hand.
Dexter inhales sharply.
His lips part, a quiet, unsteady breath slipping out as your fingers close just a little more around his throat.
His eyes never leave yours.
Not once.
And something in them changes.
Sharpens.
Darkens.
Hungryânot in the way you feared before, not in the way you expectedâbut in recognition. In interest. In something that feels dangerously close to relief.
And youâ
you feel it surge through you.
Something jagged. Unfamiliar.
Violent in a way that isnât loudâbut deep.
You wantâ
God, you donât even know what you want.
To hurt him.
To make him react.
To take something back.
Every moment he made you feel small.
Every time he spoke over you, decided for you, reduced you to something manageableâcontained.
Every second you sat there, quiet, invisible, waiting for something that never came.
You want to press it back into him.
Make him feel it.
Make him see it.
Your fingers flex slightly against his throat, feeling the jump of his pulse beneath your skin, and the sensation sends a shudder through youâsharp and sudden, like it echoes back into your own body.
Like youâre the one being held.
Like youâre the one being undone.
Dexter exhales againâshakier this time.
His hand moves.
Fast.
Gripping the back of your head, fingers threading into your hair with a firmness that isnât quite roughâbut not gentle either.
He pulls.
Not enough to hurtâbut enough to anchor you there.
Enough to keep you from slipping away from whatever this is.
Your breath breaks into a soft gasp at the sudden tension, your grip faltering for just a second as the sensation pulls through your scalp, down your spineâ
and in that momentâ
you realize how close you are.
How entangled this has become.
But he doesnât let you go.
âNoââ he breathes, the word catching as it leaves him. âDonât⊠donât stop.â
It isnât a command.
Itâs closer to a plea.
Low. Uneven. Dragged out of him like something he didnât mean to reveal.
Your fingers loosenâjust slightlyâat his throat, the pressure easing for a fraction of a second, and he feels it immediately.
His hand tightens in your hair to stop you from pulling away.
âNo,â he murmurs again, softer now, closer. âNot like that.â
He draws you in.
Closer.
Until your foreheads press togetherâskin to skin, breath mixing, the space between you collapsing into something unbearably small.
Your hand is still at his neck.
Still wrapped there.
Still feeling him.
The pulse beneath your fingersâfast now.
Faster than before.
Alive in a way that makes your own breath hitch.
âIt feels good,â he whispers.
His voice is right there. Against your mouth. Your cheek. Everywhere.
âIt feels good, doesnât it.â
His thumb shifts slightly at the back of your head, not soothingâanchoring.
Grounding you there with him.
âTo put that pressure there,â he continues, softer, slowerâlike heâs working through the thought as he says it. âTo feel something respond.â
Your grip tightens again without meaning to.
His breath stutters.
You feel it.
You cause it.
âTo watch it change,â he adds, eyes locked onto yoursâtoo focused, too intent. âTo know youâre the reason it does.â
Your chest rises too fast.
Too shallow.
His voice drops further.
âTo want to break something in your hands.â
A pause.
Not empty.
Charged.
âYou feel it,â he says.
Not a question.
Something closer to certainty.
And thatâs what makes it worse.
Because you do.
You feel it crawling under your skinâsharp, ugly, alive in a way you donât know how to name.
You want to deny it.
You want to pull away.
But your hand is still on him.
Still holding.
Still pressing.
And your bodyâ
isnât moving.
You donât answer.
You canât.
So insteadâ
you move.
Forward.
Itâs not thought through.
Not planned.
Your lips find his in a sudden, desperate collisionâtoo quick, too close, too wrong to take back.
For a secondâ
he goes completely still.
A sharp inhale breaks through him, caught halfway between surprise and something else he doesnât understand.
You donât stop.
You deepen itâinstinctively, blindly, like if you donât, youâll have to feel everything else instead.
Your fingers tighten again at his neck.
His grip in your hair falters.
Just slightly.
And thenâ
he pulls you off him.
Abrupt.
Firm.
Final.
The space between you snaps back into place.
His hand drops from your hair as he looks at you.
Really looks at you.
Not the way he was before.
Not focused. Not intent.
This is different.
Something in his expression fracturesâconfusion, sharp and immediate, cutting through whatever was building just seconds ago.
Like something slipped.
Like something doesnât fit.
Like youâ
donât fit.
Your breath stutters.
The moment hits you all at once.
What you did.
What that was.
Your hands fall away from him like they donât belong to you anymore.
Your body pulls back.
âIââ
The word dies in your throat.
Nothing comes after it.
Nothing can.
Your chest tightens, heat rushing up your neck, your face, your earsâtoo much, too fast, too real.
Heâs still looking at you.
Still trying to understand.
And you canât let him.
You canât stand there and let him look at you like that.
So you turn.
Too quickly.
Too abruptly.
You donât even look back as you move straight into the bathroom.
The bathroom door shuts harder than you intend.
The sound cracks through the small spaceâsharp, containedâand youâre still moving when your back hits it.
You donât step away.
You stay thereâpressed flat against the wood, breath coming too fast, too shallowâuntil your legs give out beneath you.
Slowly, you slide down.
Fabric drags against the door. Skin against tile.
Until youâre sitting on the cold floor, knees pulled in, arms wrapping around them like that might hold you together.
Your chest rises too quickly.
Your heartâ
God, itâs racing.
No.
Pounding.
âOh my GodâŠâ you whisper, the words barely holding shape.
Did you actuallyâ
Your thoughts fracture before they finish.
You squeeze your eyes shut, forehead tipping forward against your knees.
Why did he pull away?
The question comes first.
Not what you did.
Not what it meant.
Just thatâ
Why did he stop?
Your fingers lift, slow, uncertain, brushing against your lips.
They still feel⊠warm.
You swallow.
His lips wereâ
Softer than you expected.
That shouldnât matter.
It doesnât mean anything.
It shouldnât stay.
And yetâ
Your fingers press more firmly against your mouth, tracing it, like youâre trying to fix the memory into something you can hold.
Then, without thinkingâ
your fingertip slips past your lips.
Resting against your teeth.
Your eyes close.
You try to remember it properly this time.
If he hadnât pulled backâ
If he had stayed.
If he had kissed you back.
Your breath stutters.
Your teeth press down, lightly, against your finger.
A small pressure.
Testing.
You imagine itâ
His hand still in your hair. The sudden grip. The pull that dragged you closer, forced your face up, made you look at him.
Made you stay.
Your shoulders tense.
Your teeth press harder.
Your mind shifts again.
You donât stop it.
You donât want to.
It moves to his throat.
Your hand there.
The feel of itâwarm, solidâalive under your fingers.
You remember the pulse.
Godâ
you remember how it jumped.
Fast. Strong.
Yours to feel.
Yours to hold.
Your teeth sink deeper into your finger.
A sharper pressure now.
Your breath trembles.
You can see it againâ
His lips parting.
That shaky breath slipping out of him.
The way his body reacted.
The way he looked at you.
Not confused.
Not distant.
Focused.
Like you were the only thing that existed in that moment.
Your jaw tightens.
Your teeth press harder.
Hard enough that it starts to hurt.
You donât pull away.
Your fingers curl against your knees, gripping tighter.
Because nowâ
now you remember the feeling.
Not just the moment.
The feeling.
The way something surged through you when you tightened your hand.
Sharp.
Electric.
Alive.
Your breath catches.
What if you had pressed harder?
The thought comes quietly.
Slips in without resistance.
What if you didnât stop?
Your teeth bite down.
Hard.
A sudden, metallic taste blooms across your tongue.
You inhale sharplyâbut you donât pull your finger out.
You keep it there.
Pressing.
Holding.
Your chest rises too fast, too uneven now.
Because the feelingâ
itâs back.
That same rush.
That same heat.
That sameâ
thrill.
It curls through you, low and dangerous, settling somewhere deep in your bones.
Your lips part slightly around your finger, breath shaking as the taste of copper spreads.
You can feel it at the corner of your mouth now.
Warm.
Slow.
You donât wipe it away.
You barely even notice.
Your head tilts back against the door, eyes opening but unfocused, staring at nothing.
And somewhere in the middle of itâthis rush, this confusion, this sharp, overwhelming awarenessâ
a thought surfaces.
Quiet.
Unsteady.
ââŠis thisâŠâ you whisper, voice barely there.
Summary: A domestication of a human will never make them feel at home. Â
C.w: kidnapping, captivity, psychological manipulation, coercive control, implied physical abuse, obsession, unhealthy attachment dynamics
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 Dexter noticed it before he even reached the elevator.
Not the building. Not the shift ending. Not even the movement of people around him in the corridor.
It was the same pull he had felt all dayâquiet, persistent, threading itself through whatever task he was supposed to be doing.
Paperwork. Questions. Orders. Faces speaking at him.
It all blurred at the edges in the same way, as if something behind it kept tapping lightly against his attention, refusing to be ignored.
You.
That was always what it circled back to.
Not in a way he fully interrupted himself to question. More like a fact his mind kept returning to whenever there was space for it.
He stepped into the elevator.
The doors slid shut with a clean, final sound.
For a few seconds, he stood still. Controlled posture. Neutral expression. The practiced stillness of someone used to being observed and not reacting.
Then his hand moved into his pocket.
The phone came out without urgency.
Security app. Open.
The feed loaded instantly.
He didnât have to search.
One of the cameras had already caught you in frame.
In the apartment.
In his space.
You were not where he had left you in thought earlier at the officeânot idle, not passiveâbut already in motion. The image was slightly grainy, angled from a hidden corner near the ceiling, but clear enough.
You had made it into the closet.
Already inside it, partially curled in, knees drawn close, body occupying the small space he had not intended to feel large enough for anything to linger in.
And the safe.
His safe.
You were focused on it with a kind of quiet persistence that would have read as determination if the context were different. Fingers testing it again. Adjusting. Trying different angles. Pausing, then trying once more.
Dexter watched without expression.
He had left it that way on purpose.
Unlocked, but not obvious. A controlled variable. Something to occupy time, to observe reaction, to understand patterns.
A test, in a senseâbut not one that required interference yet.
His thumb hovered near the edge of the screen.
Not to intervene.
Just to steady the thought that briefly sharpened. She's active.
Not shut down. Not compliant in the way of collapse.
Still trying.
Still resisting.
Good.
A faint, almost imperceptible shift passed through himâsomething like approval, though he would not have labeled it that way.
He lowered the phone only when the elevator doors opened, already knowing what he would find when he returned.Â
The elevator doors opened with a soft chime, spilling Dexter into the controlled noise of the FBI headquarters.
Footsteps, printers, clipped conversationsâeverything moved in measured chaos. People passed him without really seeing him. That was fine. It meant nothing required explanation.
He moved through the hallway, past desks and glass partitions, until he found the break room.
Larry was inside, half-leaning against the counter with a coffee in hand, scrolling on his phone like the world hadnât demanded anything from him in the last ten minutes.
Dexter stepped in and let the door click shut behind him.
Larry looked up immediately.
âOh no,â Larry said flatly. âNot you.â
Dexter gave a small, easy smile.
âGood to see you.â
âNo,â Larry corrected, pointing at him with his cup. âThis is not a âgood to see youâ situation. This is a âyou are about to ruin my lunch breakâ situation.â
Dexter tilted his head slightly.
âJust this one time,â he said.
Larry snorted.
âThatâs what you said last time. And the time before that. And somehow itâs already the third time this week.â
Dexter didnât argue. He just held the pause a moment too long, like he was waiting for it to resolve itself into agreement.
âI know,â he said finally. âBut I wouldnât ask if it wasnât necessary.â
Larry narrowed his eyes.
âDefine necessary.â
Dexter hesitated.
The answer that came first was the truth, but the truth didnât fit the shape of this room. Not cleanly. Not safely.
He adjusted.
âThereâs someone I need to meet,â he said.
Larryâs expression shifted immediatelyâinterest flickering in.
âOh?â
Dexterâs gaze briefly drifted to the glass wall without meaning to. A habit. A check. Then back.
âShe needs me,â he added, a little more carefully. âI have to take care of her.â
Larry blinked once.
Then slowly, like something had clicked into place that he very much enjoyed clicking into place:
ââŠYouâve got a girlfriend.â
Dexter blinked.
The word didnât feel accurate. It didnât feel wrong either. It just sat somewhere off to the side of what he meant.
âSomething like that,â he said again.
Larry straightened up immediately, grin spreading.
âNo way. Benjamin Poindexter has a girlfriend? Thatâs insane.â
Dexterâs mouth twitched.
âStop.â
âOh, Iâm not stopping anything,â Larry said, already entertained. âMan finally joins the human race.â
Dexter exhaled lightly through his nose, somewhere between amusement and restraint.
Larry leaned closer, lowering his voice like it was confidential intelligence.
âSo who is she? Someone from around here?â
Dexter paused.
A fraction too long.
âNo,â he said. âOutside work.â
Larry let out a low whistle.
âWow. Thatâs even worse. You actually have a life.â
Dexter didnât respond to that either.
He checked the time once, briefly. Then the habit returnedâsubtle, almost unconsciousâlike something pulling at the back of his attention again.
Larry noticed the shift.
âYouâre already halfway gone,â he said. âGo.â
Dexter looked back at him.
Larry raised a hand.
âIâll cover your shift. But you owe me details.â
Dexter considered that for a second.
Then he nodded once.
âSure.â
Larry leaned back immediately, satisfied in a way that was far too loud for a breakroom.
Dexter turned toward the door.
âHey,â Larry called after him, grinning now, âtell her I said congrats, alright?â
Dexter didnât even look back.
He just gave a quiet chuckle under his breath.
âYeah, whatever,â he said, already halfway out the room. âIâm leaving.â
Behind him, Larry started making exaggerated kissy noises, clearly enjoying himself at tormenting him.
Dexter finally glanced back over his shoulder and gave Larry one, unmistakeable middle finger before he left the room.
Outside, he shook his head once and walked out, the sound of laughter fading behind him as the door swung shut.
And for a moment, as he moved back into the corridor of fluorescent lights and routine, something in him felt⊠lighter.
Not resolved.
Just briefly less divided.
The number 113 sits faintly carved into the paper.
Not written.
Pressed.
Your nail had dug into the back page of the bookâdeep enough to leave a mark, not enough to tear through. It took longer than it should have. The paper is thicker than it looks. Your fingers ache from it.
Still, itâs something.
A system.
You twist the dial again.
Slow. Careful.
One. One. Three.
Your hand pauses on the handle, a small flicker of hope tightening in your chest before you turn itâ
Nothing.
It doesnât move.
Your jaw tightens.
ââŠokay,â you murmur under your breath, more to steady yourself than anything else.
You drag your nail across the paper again, carving the number in beside the others. Itâs messy. Uneven. Barely legible unless you look closely.
But youâll know.
You shift your weight on your knees, the floor hard beneath you, and glance down at your ankle.
The chain pulls slightly when you move.
Your eyes follow it without thinking.
Across the floor.
Out past the doorway.
To where it disappears into the bathroom.
You already know where it leads.
You had followed it earlierâtraced every inch of it like it might reveal something you missed.
The hook had been tucked low into the wall, hidden in the corner like it was meant to be overlooked. Small. Plain. Easy to ignore if you werenât searching for it.
You had tugged on it.
Once.
Then harder.
Metal scraping, chain rattlingâyour breath uneven as you pulled with everything you had.
It hadnât moved.
Not even a little.
No shift. No sound. Nothing to suggest it would ever give.
You remember the way your arms had started to ache. The way your grip slipped after a while. The way the effort drained out of you until there was nothing left to do but stop.
ââŠright,â you murmur now, quieter.
Of course it didnât.
Of course it wouldnât.
The length of it is also just enough to give you the illusion of freedom. You can reach the closet. The side of the bed. The edge of the room.
Not the door.
Not the window.
Never the window.
Thatâs why you settle for marking the numbers on a scrap of paper torn from the blank page of a book on the bedside table, using your nails to mark because thereâs no pen within reach.
Your gaze lingers there, the window across the room for a second, before you look back at the safe.
114
You turn the dial again.
One. One. Four.
You try the handle.
Nothing.
A breath leaves you, quieter this time. Thinner.
You mark it down.
Your nail stings now. The skin around it raw from pressing too hard into the page. Your wrist aches. Your knees are starting to feel numb against the floor.
You stay there for a second longer.
Then another.
Before something in you givesânot dramatically. Not all at once. Just enough to make you stop.
ââŠI need a break,â you mutter.
Thereâs no one to hear it.
You push yourself up slowly, the chain dragging with you, and walk the short distance it allows.
The bed.
His side.
You donât think about it when you sit down.
Not consciously.
Itâs just⊠closer.
You shift, then lie back, the mattress dipping beneath your weight. Your eyes drift up to the ceiling, unfocused.
What time is it?
You donât have to guess.
Your eyes shift slightlyâto the small alarm clock sitting on the bedside table with the snacks he left for you, which you didnât bother to touch.
5:12 p.m.
The numbers glow back at you, steady. Unchanging.
Evening.
Your gaze drifts past it.
To the window.
The shutters arenât fully closed, and through the thin gaps, the sky spills inâwashed in soft pink. Bright. Gentle. Almost too pretty for the hour.
It looks warm.
Calm.
Like the kind of evening people step outside for. Like something meant to be enjoyed.
You watch it for a moment.
The way the light stretches across the room. The way it settles over everything like nothing is wrong.
Itâs almost⊠beautiful.
And somehowâ
that makes it worse.
Because nothing about this feels like it should exist at the same time as that sky.
The world keeps going.
Soft. Bright. Unbothered.
While youâ
Rot here.
Heâs probably still at work.
The thought of Dex enters your mind unprovoked.
You wonder if heâs already gone to your apartment.
If heâs standing in your room.
If heâs touching your things.
The thought sits strangely in your chest, and you donât follow it.
You turn onto your side instead, your fingers brushing absently along the sheets.
Smooth. Clean. White.
Your hand presses down slightly, feeling the give of the mattress, the faint warmth still held in the fabricâ
And then you notice it.
The smell.
Itâs not strong.
Not something you would have pointed out before.
But nowâ
Now you recognize it.
Youâve learned it.
The same way you learn anything that repeats often enough.
You bury your face slightly into the pillow.
Itâs there too.
Faint. Clean. Understated.
Him.
Not in a way you can describe.
Justâ
him.
Your fingers curl into the fabric.
You pull the pillow closer without really thinking about it, your arm wrapping around it loosely as you press your face in deeper.
The scent sharpens.
And something in your chestâ
loosens.
You go still.
Just for a second.
Because that shouldnât happen.
Not like this.
Not here.
But your body doesnât ask for permission.
It remembers.
Nights.
The quiet ones.
When he thinks youâre asleep.
When your breathing has slowed just enough to convince him.
Thatâs when it happens.
His arm shifts around youâsubtle at first. A small adjustment. Then tighter.
Not sudden.
Deliberate.
Like heâs drawing you back into place.
Your back presses into his chest, the warmth of him seeping through the thin fabric between you. His hand settles at your side, fingers curlingânot enough to hurt, just enough to keep you there.
Held.
Thereâs always a pause after.
A second where he doesnât move at all.
You can feel it in the stillness of him. In the way his breathing changesâquieter, more measured. Like heâs listening.
Counting.
Making sure.
Like if he lets go too soon, youâll slip through something he canât see.
And thenâ
only when heâs certainâ
his grip eases.
Slowly.
Carefully.
Not letting go.
Never that.
Just loosening enough that it feels less like restraint and more like⊠something else.
Something quieter.
Something that almostâalmostâcould be mistaken for comfort.
Your grip on the pillow tightens.
Thatâs the part that stays with you.
Not the food.
Not the awkward jokes.
Not the smiles he gives like heâs trying to get it right.
That.
That small, quiet thing he doesnât even know heâs doing.
It makes something settle in you.
Something that feelsâ
dangerously close to good.
Your eyes close for a second.
Just a second.
Because you knowâ
you know that feeling is wrong.
You know what heâs done.
You know what heâs capable of.
You know what he will do again if you step out of line.
And stillâ
Your fingers press tighter into the pillow.
Still, your body leans into it.
Still, something in you whispersâ
you matter.
The thought makes your chest tighten.
You pull back slightly, just enough to breathe.
Your gaze drifts across the room.
Back to the closet.
To the safe.
Sitting there.
Waiting.
A way out.
Or at leastâ
the closest thing to one you have right now.
You exhale slowly.
ââŠI have to keep trying,â you murmur.
Because if you donâtâ
If you stopâ
If you let yourself stay here, in this space, in this feelingâ
You know what happens.
Youâll settle.
Youâll adapt.
Youâll become something you donât want to be.
Your jaw tightens at the thought.
You push yourself up again, the chain dragging along behind you as you move back toward the closet.
Toward the safe.
Toward the numbers.
115
Evening settles early in November.
By the time Dexter reaches the street, the light has already begun to thinâday slipping quietly toward night, the sky dimming at the edges. He notices it, distantly. Registers it.
And beneath thatâ
something else.
A pull.
Subtle, but persistent.
I have to get home soon.
The thought sits there longer than it should.
He adjusts his grip on the plastic bag in his hand and looks up at the building in front of him.
Red brick.
Older than the ones around it. The kind of place thatâs been standing long enough to start forgetting what it used to be. Paint chipped near the windows. A flicker of yellow light visible through the stairwell.
He steps inside.
The hallway smells faintly of dust and something stale. The light overhead humsâweak, inconsistent. One bulb flickers at the far end.
He doesnât linger.
The stairs creak under his weight as he climbs. Cracks along the edges. Worn-down steps from years of use. He moves steadily, almost absently, a quiet whistle slipping past his lips as he ascends.
Fourth floor.
He slows slightly as he scans the doors.
401. 403. 405â
402. 404.Â
âThere you are,â he murmurs.
The key slides in easily.
A simple turn.
The lock gives.
He opens the door.
Reaches for the switch.
Warm light floods the roomâ
âand he stops.
Not dramatically.
Not visibly.
But something in him stills.
The apartment isnât just messy.
Itâs⊠dense.
Layered.
Like stepping into a space thatâs been filled past its limit and then kept going.
His foot nudges something as he steps inside.
A shoe.
Small. Narrow. A kitten heel.
He glances down at it, then nudges it gently aside with his foot toward what might be a shoe rackâthough itâs already crowded, shoes stacked and overlapping like theyâve outgrown the space meant for them.
He moves further in.
Carefully.
Itâs a studio.
Or at least, it should feel like one.
But the sheer amount of things makes it feel smaller than it is. The bed is visible, half-made, buried beneath a slope of clothes that have slipped into a pile at one corner. Two desks sit against the wallâbut both are overwhelmed, surfaces barely visible beneath scattered objects.
And yetâ
it isnât dirty.
No trash.
No rotting food.
No neglect.
Just⊠accumulation.
Dexterâs gaze moves slowly across the room.
Everything has a place.
Even if that place is simply among everything else.
The walls draw his attention next.
Covered.
Photos. Paintings. Frames that donât quite align but have been placed anyway. Some hang straight. Others tilt slightly, as if they were adjusted once and never thought about again.
Most of them arenât of her.
That registers first.
Strangers in cafes. Street corners. Buildings half-cropped by accident or intention. Faces of people he doesnât recognizeâcaught mid-expression, mid-life, unaware they were being preserved.
Rarely is she in them.
When she is, itâs incidental. Off to the side. Reflected in glass. Half-turned away. Never centered.
It doesnât feel like a collection of memories of her.
It feels like something else entirely.
Like heâs looking through her eyes instead of at her life.
A quiet, observational way of seeing the worldâfragmented, selective, almost detached. As if sheâs documenting everything around her, but placing herself just outside of it.
His gaze moves slowly from frame to frame.
Processing.
Not judging.
Just assembling a picture of someone who records more than she belongs.
And for a brief moment, something unfamiliar settles at the back of his attentionâ
a sense of her, not as she is now in his apartmentâ
but as she was when she was still outside it.
Thud
Dexter felt something catch against his shoe as he was about to take a closer look. He looks down andâ
More paintings.Â
Lean against the wall below.
Stacked. Carefulâbut too many.
It shifts slightly against the floor with a soft scrape.
He pauses.
Then crouches.
The painting is abstract.
Color without clear shape or meaning. Layers that donât resolve into anything immediately readable. Not ordered in a way his mind naturally follows. Not functional. Not structured.
It isnât his type.
His gaze drops to the corner.
A signature.
Claire.
His eyes linger a moment longer.
Then he shifts slightly, adjusting his balance, and notices another canvas behind it.
Same name.
Another.
Claire.
His head tilts a fraction.
He stands slowly, eyes lifting from the stack to the walls again.
And only now does the pattern fully reveal itself.
Every available space.
Small frames. Large ones. Pieces hung neatly in some places, crowded in others, and more still leaning where there was no room left to place them properly.
All of themâ
Claire.
Not random decoration.
Not scattered influence.
Something far more deliberate than that.
A body of work.
Repeated. Present. Persistent.
His eyes move across them again, slower this time.
Repetition.
Fixation.
Importance.
He doesnât know who Claire is.
But she isnât incidental.
Not to this space.
Not to her.
Enough to fill every wall that would take her.
Enough to remain.
He turns his head slightly, taking it all in.Â
The rest of the apartment continues the same way.
Shelves lined with objects that donât belong to any single categoryâold dolls, their plastic faces dulled with time. A small pony figure. Half-burnt candles. A miniature Statue of Liberty tucked between things that have nothing to do with it.
Magnets crowd the fridge. Keychains hang from hooks. Beadsânecklacesâlooped together in ways that suggest theyâve been moved, handled, kept.
Dexter pauses.
Thereâs no pattern in the objects.
But there is a pattern in the keeping.
Nothing is discarded.
Nothing is lost.
He moves through the place carefully now, stepping between objects rather than around them.
The closet.
Thatâs what he came for.
He reaches for the handle and pulls it open without much thoughtâ
âand clothes spill out.
They hit him before he can react.
Fabric collapsing forward in a soft avalanche, sliding over his shoulders, catching at his arms, dropping to the floor in uneven folds.
He stiffens.
A sharp exhale leaves him.
âShit.â
This time, it does land.
Irritationâquick, immediate.
It had already been building, quiet and controlled, from the moment he stepped into the apartment. The clutter. The lack of order. The way nothing seemed to stay in place.
And nowâ
heâs in it.
Surrounded by it.
His jaw tightens slightly as he pulls fabric off his sleeve, eyes scanning the mess like it personally offended him.
Not chaotic in a violent way.
Just⊠wrong.
Unstructured.
He exhales again, slower this time.
Then he crouches, pushing through the pile with more force than necessary, movements sharper nowâefficient, but edged with that lingering irritation he hasnât quite smoothed out.
Too many he thought.
Far more than necessary.
Different styles. Different textures. Some worn, some barely touched.
He sorts quickly.
T-shirts.
Loose ones.
Old bands.
Comfort wear.
Pantsâbaggy, soft, worn-in.
Things she would wear at home.
He folds what he can and places them into the bag.
Thenâ
his hand pauses.
Something different.
He pulls it free from the pile.
Studies it.
A small shift crosses his expression.
Recognitionânot of the object itself, but of what it might mean.
Oh sheâs going to love this.
Thereâs a quiet note of satisfaction in it.
He places it carefully into the bag.
Then stands.
Moves toward the bedside table.
Books sit there, slightly uneven. A small stack. Some marked. Some left halfway through.
He gathers them.
Notices the bowl beside them.
Candy.
Colorful wrappers piled loosely together.
He reaches in without thinking.
Unwraps one.
The paper twists softly between his fingers before he lets it fall onto the table.
He places the candy into his mouth.
Sweet.
Then sourâ
sharp at first, then settling.
He chews once. Twice.
His gaze lingers on the bowl.
Colorful wrappers. Small. Accessible. Consistent.
Something she reaches for without thinking.
He nods faintly to himself.
Heâll keep one.
In their room.
Within reach, just like this one.
Then his gaze shifts againâ
âand lands on the photo frame.
Face down.
That makes him pause.
He reaches for it.
Turns it over not out of curiosity but as something to be fixed.
And for the first time since enteringâ
his expression changes.
Not subtly.
But completely.
A man.
A girl.
You.
Younger.
Standing close together on a boat, the water stretching out behind you in soft, rippling gray. The wind must have been moving that dayâyour hair caught mid-motion, your smile unguarded in a way it isnât anymore.
Beside youâ
an older man.
Your father.
One arm around your shoulder, not stiff, not posedânatural. Easy. Like it belongs there.
Behind you both, rising into the skyâ
the Statue of Liberty.
Familiar in a way that doesnât need explanation.
His eyes linger.
Scanning.
Processing.
Connecting.
And thenâ
quietlyâ
ââŠfuck.â
A.N: Thank you for all the support you guys have shown to me. It really motivates me to keep this series alive and help me cook up ideas for this series. Also if you guys want to be tagged. Please comment your account @ that I can tag you guys in. Thank you so much for the supportâïžđ
Summary: A domestication of a human will never make them feel at home.
Â
C.w: kidnapping, captivity, psychological manipulation, coercive control, implied physical abuse, obsession, unhealthy attachment dynamics
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â°â°âŻââčMasterlistâ°â°âŻââč
4:35 PM
November 16th, 2014
The office is dim in a way that feels deliberate. Not darkâjust softened. The overhead lights are off, replaced by a single lamp in the corner that casts a low, warm, even glow across the room. Itâs meant to be calming.
Dexter sits across from the therapist, posture straight but not rigid. His hands rest loosely on his thighs, fingers still, controlled. Thereâs nothing outwardly tense about him. Nothing that stands out.
Everything looks⊠in place.
The therapist flips a page in the file on his lap, pen tapping once against the margin before he looks up.
âHow have you been, Dexter?â
A brief pause.
Dexter offers a small smile.
âNever been better.â
It comes easily. Smooth. Unforced.
The therapist studies him for a second, then nods.
âThatâs good to hear. I understand there have been some recent developments. A promotion.â
Dexter nods once.
âYeah.â He exhales lightly through his nose. âItâs been⊠good. Unexpected. I thought I was going to lose my job for a while there.â
He leans back slightly in his chair, shoulders easing just enough to suggest comfort.
âBut it worked out,â he continues. âEverything just kind of⊠shifted. Fast. Butââ a faint shrug ââgood fast.â
The therapistâs pen stills.
âAnd I hear youâve been doing more active field work.â
âYeah.â
âHow has that adjustment been?â
Thereâs a pauseânot long, but noticeable.
Dexterâs gaze drifts slightly past the therapist, settling somewhere near the edge of the bookshelf behind him. Not unfocused. Just⊠redirected.
âItâs fine,â he says. âItâs still work.â
Simple. Contained.
He doesnât elaborate.
Because explaining it would require something else entirely.
Before, the job gave him structure. Routine. A set of expectations he could follow. It was something he could perform correctly.
But it never felt like him.
With Fiskâ
itâs different.
Thereâs no resistance between what he is and what heâs doing. No constant adjustment. No quiet correction running beneath every action.
He doesnât have to suppress anything.
Doesnât have to question it.
And when he puts on the suitâ
he knows it isnât his.
But that doesnât seem to matter.
Something aligns anyway.
Clean. Precise.
Like stepping into something that was always meant to fit.
The therapistâs voice cuts through the silence, pulling him back.
âAnd how is your support system looking these days?â
Dexterâs eyes shift back to him.
âSupport system?â
The therapist glances down briefly at his notes.
âLast time we spoke, you mentioned someone. Juli, I believe?â
A pause.
Small. Controlled.
For a split second, something else tries to surfaceâ
a different name.
a different face.
someone sitting in a locked room, waiting where he left her.
His actual support system.
But he canât say that.
Not here.
Not when her name is sitting somewhere in a reportâtyped up, filed, circulated. Missing. Searched for.
âYeah,â Dexter says.
His gaze drops slightlyânot to his hands, not in any obvious way.
Just off to the side. Toward the corner of the room where the light fades a little.
âYeah, thatâs her.â
The pen moves again.
âAnd how has that been going?â
Dexter inhales quietly.
âWeâre⊠living together now.â
The words come out steady. Measured.
âI donât know,â he adds, a faint smile forming. âItâs different.â
His thumb presses once against his index finger. Subtle. Grounding.
âBut I like it.â
The smile lingers a moment longer.
âI actually look forward to going home now.â
Thereâs something quieter in that line. Less constructed.
âKnowing sheâs there.â
The therapist nods slowly.
âThat sounds like a positive development.â
Dexter nods.
âIt is.â
âAny difficulties adjusting to the change?â
Another pause.
Brief.
Something flickers behind Dexterâs eyesâ
a window forced open just enough to slip through.
cold air rushing in thirteen floors up.
your foot already on the ledgeâtoo far, too fastâ
his hand catching your ankle.
âIt took some adjustment,â he says. âAt first.â
Then another memory.
The front door.
The soft, careful click of a lock being tested in the middle of the night.
Metal shiftingâtoo deliberate to be accidental.
Your hands.
Working at it.
The moment he caught youâ
you fought.
Not controlled. Not measured.
Always Wild.
Always Desperate.
âSome⊠resistance.â
And laterâ
the closet.
Dark. Tight. Contained.
Your body twisting against his grip as he dragged you toward itâ
feet catching against the floor, trying to find purchaseâ
hands pulling back, resisting, slipping.
âNoâpleaseââ
Your voice breaking. Promises spilling too fast to hold shape.
âI wonât do it againâI wonâtâI swearââ
It doesnât change anything.
Doesnât alter the outcome.
The door opens.
Spaceâsmall, suffocating.
He pushes you in anyway.
Your body folding in on itself, forced into the cramped darkâ
shoulders hitting the wall, knees pulled in without choiceâ
The door shuts with a slam.
The next time he opens itâ
you recoil before he even touches you.
Smaller.
Quieter.
The way you learned.
The way you stopped tryingâ
at least for a while.
The images pass as quickly as they come.
A small shrug follows.
âBut itâs fine now. She understands how things work.â
The phrasing lands cleanly.
Resolved.
âWeâve adjusted.â
The therapist watches him carefully. A beat longer than before.
Then he nods.
âGood. Thatâs important.â
Dexter nods back.
Silence settles between them for a moment.
Not uncomfortable.
Just quiet.
Dexterâs gaze shifts againâthis time deliberatelyâto the clock on the wall.
4:55 PM.
His posture changes slightly. Not enough to draw attention. Just a subtle straightening, a tightening of focus.
The therapist notices.
âNeed to be somewhere?â
Dexter looks back at him, that same faint smile returning.
âJust keeping track of time.â
A beat.
âBusy day.â
The therapist closes the file with a soft, final sound.
âWell, from what Iâm seeing, youâre maintaining well. No immediate concerns.â
Dexter nods once.
Of course.
Everything is functioning.
Everything is under control.
âLetâs schedule a follow-up next week,â the therapist adds.
âSounds good.â
They both stand.
Dexterâs movements are smooth, practiced. His hand meets the therapistâs in a brief, firm shake. Measured. Appropriate.
Then he turns toward the door.
Already thinking ahead.
Not about the session.
Not about Fisk.
About home.
A quiet space.
A closed door.
Someone waiting where he left them.
He wonders.
If you miss him like he does.Â
You stare at the picture on the wall.
Black and white.
A race car frozen mid-motion, the number 43 stamped against its side.
Nothing worth noting.
Nothing worth seeing.
And yetâ
lately, you keep finding yourself looking at it.
Longer than you should.
Long enough for the lines to blur. For the grain of the photograph to become something almost textured, almost meaningful.
Maybe itâs because thereâs nothing else to look at.
Maybe itâs because of how many hours youâve spent locked in that white-tiled bathroom while heâs at work. How the light there never changes. How the walls reflect everything back at you until even your own thoughts start to echo.
Maybe thatâs why thisâ
this dull, lifeless pictureâ
feels like something.
Or maybeâ
you just donât want to look at him.
A few feet away from you, he moves around the kitchen like everything is normal.
Like this is normal.
The soft clink of utensils. The low hum under his breathâtuneless, absent, casual. It drifts through the apartment like background noise in a life that doesnât belong to you.
Your jaw tightens.
You used to like that sound.
That hum.
You used to like the way he smiled, tooâsoft, a little awkward, something that felt⊠safe.
Nowâ
it grates.
Every note of it.
Every second of it.
Because your arm still aches where his fingers dug in. Because your ribs still remember the pressure. Because you can still feel the dark, tight space of the closet pressed into your bones if you think about it for too long.
Eleven days.
Eleven days in this apartment.
Eleven days of him.
No radio.
No television.
No phone.
No laptop.
No outside.
Justâ
him.
His voice.
His face.
His hands.
Him.
Him.
Him.
âY/N.â
The sound snaps through your thoughts like something cutting clean through water.
You flinchâjust slightly.
You hadnât even heard him come up behind you.
Your shoulders tense before you can stop them.
âAre you okay?â he asks.
You donât turn immediately.
âYeah,â you say.
A beat.
âIâm fine.â
No, you think.
But it doesnât matter.
Saying anything else would be like talking to a wall. A perfectly structured, well-meaning wall that listens and then rearranges your words into something else entirely.
He follows your gaze to the picture.
âDo you like it?â
You look at it again.
The race car. The number. The empty, frozen motion of it.
âDoes it have a story?â you ask.
A small pause.
âNot really,â he says. âIt came with the frame.â
Of course it did.
âIt fits the apartment,â he adds. âSo I left it be.â
You nod.
ââŠInteresting.â
It isnât.
But you donât say that.
Instead, your eyes driftâslowly, deliberatelyâaway from the picture.
Across the apartment.
And without meaning toâ
you start cataloging.
Couch 2009.
Sleek black leather with wooden legs
gives a homely structure.
Price: 900 USD with tax.
Dining table set, 2011.
Minimalist oak surface, paired chairs with reinforced backs.
Designed for small spaces, practical elegance.
Price: 1,200 USD.
Coffee table, 2008.
Low-set glass top with metal frame.
Functional. Replaceable.
Price: 300 USD.
TV stand, 2010.
Flat, dark veneer. Hidden storage compartments.
No visible clutter.
Price: 450 USD.
Standing lamp, 2007.
Warm light diffusion. Fabric shade.
Meant to soften the room.
Price: 120 USD.
Chandelier, 2012.
Modern geometric design. Clean lines.
Decorative without being personal.
Price: 700 USD.
When he lets you out, you look around and try to find them. Spot the pieces youâve seen. Confirm them. Like proof that the world still connects somewhere, somehow.
It keeps your mind moving.
Keeps it from sinking.
But it doesnât fix the other part.
The part that noticesâ
none of this means anything to him.
Not really.
The couch isnât worn in.
The table doesnât hold memories.
The space doesnât carry history.
No signs of visitors.
No traces of shared moments.
No evidence that anyone has ever lived here.
Itâs all justâ
arranged.
Placed.
Selected to look like something.
A home.
But without these thingsâ
it would be empty.
A shell.
And even with themâ
it still is.
Something shifts beside you.
Thenâ
his hand settles over your arm.
You go still.
Not dramatic. Not sudden.
Justâ
still.
âDinnerâs ready,â he says, voice softer now.
Close.
Too close.
You nod.
Slowly.
Carefully.
Because thatâs easier.
Because thatâs safer.
Because right nowâ
thatâs what works.
You sit at the dining table before he calls you.
Waiting.
The plate in front of you is still empty, the surface of it too clean, too pale under the overhead light. Your fingers rest loosely against the edge of the table, tracing nothing in particularâjust something to do, something to anchor yourself to while the sound of movement carries faintly from the kitchen.
Cabinets opening.
Closing.
The soft scrape of a pan.
Normal sounds.
Domestic.
They donât feel normal.
They never do.
Footsteps approach.
You straighten slightly without meaning to.
Dexter steps into view, carrying two platesâone in each hand. Thereâs something almost practiced in the way he moves, careful without looking like heâs trying to be.
He sets your plate down first.
Then his.
âDinner,â he says, lightâalmost pleased with himself. âI added your favorite.â
Your eyes drop to the plate.
Carrots. Broccoli. Chicken.
Separated.
Not just casuallyâdeliberately. Three neat portions, each kept from touching the other, arranged with a kind of quiet precision that feels⊠intentional.
Observed.
A small smile pulls at your lips.
You donât think about it. It just happens.
Because it feels like you should.
âThank you,â you murmur.
He watches thatâyour reactionâclosely. Not in a way thatâs obvious, but enough. Something in his shoulders loosens when you smile, just slightly, like a tension you didnât notice was there finally easing.
He sits across from you.
And thatâs when you notice his plate.
Rice. Chicken. Vegetables.
All mixed together.
No separation. No order. Just⊠combined.
You donât comment on it.
You donât ask.
You pick up your fork instead and take a piece of chicken.
Itâs warm.
Seasoned wellâbalanced in a way that feels almost frustrating, becauseâ
He can cook.
Thatâs the one thing youâll give him.
He really can.
A small hum escapes you before you can stop it.
You freeze for half a second afterâlike maybe you shouldnât have made that sound at all.
But itâs already out.
Dexter catches it immediately.
âIs it good?â he asks, a little too quickly. Thereâs something expectant in it. Subtleâbut there.
You nod.
âItâs really good.â
That does it.
He smiles.
Not the one you hate.
Not the one that unsettles you.
Something lighter. Almost relieved.
âWell,â he says, a small exhale slipping into it, âI try.â
âDonât worry,â you add, quieter. âI like it.â
And thatâmore than anythingâseems to settle him.
You keep eating.
Chicken first.
Then you move to the carrots.
Across from you, he starts talking.
About his day.
It begins normally enoughâwords slipping easily, like this is something heâs used to. Like this is what dinner is supposed to sound like.
âI had to go on-site today,â he says. âActive duty.â
You donât respond.
You listen.
Because you donât know what else to do.
âI made a few arrests,â he continues. âHad to wear the suit even.â
Your hand pauses mid-motion.
Just for a second.
Then continues.
He doesnât notice.
Or he doesâand doesnât care.
He keeps going.
Detail by detail.
Casual.
Too casual.
âOne of them tried to run,â he says, almost casuallyâbut thereâs something under it now, something a little more awake. âBolted the second he saw me.â
You chew.
Slow.
Measured.
âI didnât feel like chasing him,â he continues, a faint edge of amusement slipping in. âThere was a wrench on the ground. Close enough.â
A small breathâlike the memory settles into him.
âSo I threw it.â
Your fork pauses for half a second.
Then keeps moving.
âHit him clean,â he adds. âDropped him right there.â
You donât look up.
Your stomach doesnât twist the way it used to.
âAnother one fought back, though,â he goes on, shifting slightly in his seat. Thereâs more energy in him nowâsubtle, but there. âDidnât know when to stop.â
A quiet exhale leaves him.
âI had to break his arm.â
Your fork scrapes lightly against the plate.
You keep your gaze down.
âIt wasnât even the first hit,â he says, almost thoughtful now. âTook a couple tries. He kept swinging.â
Thereâs a pause.
Thenâ
âI hit him a few more times after that.â
Not rushed.
Not apologetic.
Just⊠said.
âBy the time we got him in,â he adds, quieter now, like heâs finishing a thought heâs been holding onto, âhe wasnât saying much of anything.â
Silence settles for a beat.
And for a momentâ
it almost feels like he needed to say it.
Like it had been sitting in him all day,
and nowâ
it isnât anymore.
You swallow.
Youâve gotten used to it.
Thatâs the worst part.
Youâve gotten used to it so much that the information of a guy being bashed in the head with a wrench and getting beat up, wasnât so bad in your head anymore.Â
You move on to the carrots.
âDoesnât that get you in trouble?â you ask quietly.
It slips out before you can stop it.
He pauses.
Just slightly.
Like the question interrupts something.
âUpper management handles it,â he says, a bit sharper now. âIâm Fiskâs man. Theyâre not going to pull me out over something like that.â
You go still for a second.
Fisk.
The name settles heavy.
Your mind catches on it, turning it over.
Becauseâ
That doesnât make sense.
Not with what you know.
Not with what you were told.
Not with what your dad said.
Daredevil was supposed to beâ
Your gaze lifts.
Just slightly.
Heâs eating like nothingâs wrong.
Like this is normal.
Like heâs normal.
You look back down.
You donât say anything.
Because you donât know what to say.
Because you donât know whatâs real anymore.
âOh,â he says suddenly.
You flinchâjust a little.
âYour carrots are gone.â
You hadnât even noticed.
âDo you want some of mine?â
You open your mouthâ
But he doesnât wait.
âHere,â he says, already moving.
He picks the carrots out from his plateâseparating them from the rice, from everything elseâand places them neatly onto yours.
Carefully.
Like it matters.
âEat,â he adds, softer now.
You stare at the plate for a second.
At the carrots.
At the way he made sure they werenât touching anything else.
Your chest tightens.
Just a little.
Becauseâ
How does that make sense?
How can someone talk about hurting people like thatâ
And then do this?
You canât fit it together.
It doesnât align.
You glance at him.
Heâs watching you again.
Not intensely.
Just⊠waiting.
And you hate it.
You hate these momentsâ
the quiet expectation in them.
The way he looks at you like thereâs something youâre supposed to give back.
Like thereâs a right response.
A correct answer.
As if you would know what that is.
You donât.
You donât know what he wants.
You donât know what satisfies him.
You donât know how to read him anymoreâif you ever really did.
The man you thought you knewâ
feels like something you made up.
Something distant.
Something that doesnât exist in front of you now.
Your fingers tighten slightly around the fork.
Say something.
You pick it up again, forcing movement into your hands, into your bodyâanything to break the stillness pressing in on you.
ââŠThank you,â you say.
It comes out wrong.
Too quick.
Too breathless.
Your voice trembles at the edges, a small shudder slipping through it before you can stop it.
You hear it.
You know he hears it too.
And for a second, your chest tightensâwaiting for the shift.
For irritation.
For correction.
For something.
But insteadâ
he smiles.
Soft.
Almost pleased.
âYouâre welcome,â he says.
Like itâs simple.
Like itâs normal.
And thatâ
somehowâ
makes it worse.
You sit on the edge of his bed.
Waiting.
The sound of running water fills the small space beyond the open bathroom doorâsteady, constant. You can see him from where you are. Just his back. Shoulders slightly hunched toward the sink as he brushes his teeth, movements precise, repetitive.
Familiar.
You look away before he can turn.
You donât feel like looking at him.
At Ken.
Plastic. Polished. Something shaped to resemble a person without ever quite becoming one.
Your gaze drifts insteadâto the window.
One knee pulls up to your chest, your arm wrapped loosely around it, grounding yourself in the position. Your other hand moves without thought, nails dragging lightly over the skin just above your chest. Back and forth. Back and forth. Not enough to break skin. Just enough to feel something.
The room is dim.
The bathroom light spills out behind him, but everything else is shadowedâwashed in the cool blue glow of the city outside. Streetlights filter through the blinds in thin lines, striping the walls, the bed, your legs.
Across from youâ
another window.
Parallel to yours.
You can see it through the narrow gaps in the blinds.
Warm.
Soft orange light.
There are plants lined along the sill. Small ones. Ceramic pots.
Not plain.
One shaped like a strawberry. Anotherâsomething rounded, maybe a gnome. Thereâs a cactus too, planted in a tiny sculpted pot of a cactus. They look almost decorative rather than practical.
Itâs a little⊠corny.
The kind of thing youâd pause over in a store. Pick up. Turn over in your hands. Maybe even buy, just because it feels oddly charming.
You stare at it a little longer than you should.
You wonder who lives there.
An old lady, maybe.
Quiet. Collecting little things like that over time.
Orâ
maybe not.
Maybe itâs a couple.
The thought forms slowly, slipping into place without effort.
A girlâbright in a way that fills space. An Artist. An enthusiastic one. The kind who leaves things around without thinking, who decorates not for symmetry but because it feels right. Trinkets. Small objects. Things that donât match but somehow belong together.
And a boy.
A writer, maybe.
Someone who says heâs going to be something one day. A reporter. Someone important. Someone whoâll make it into places like the New York Bulletin.
You can almost see it.
Time moving forward.
The way things settle.
He falls in love with herâno, not all of her. A part of her. Something small. Something fleeting. A way she laughs, maybe. Or the way she looks at things like they matter more than they should.
And he holds onto that part.
Builds something around it.
He asks her to marry him because of it.
And she will resent him for it. For the rest of her life.Â
Because love doesnât prevent you from blaming one another.
He gets older. The beginnings of a receding hairline he doesnât quite notice yet. They have a daughterâsmall, bright, looking just like her mother.
And the motherâ
she loves her.
Too much.
In a way that turns something soft into something⊠tighter.
Like the child is something to hold onto.
Something to keep.
A doll.
A throw pillow.
Something that belongs.
Your hand stills.
Just for a second.
The thought lingers longer than it should.
Thenâ
the water stops.
The sudden quiet snaps something in you.
You blink, the image slipping away as the bathroom light cuts off and the door opens. Dexter steps out, the room dimming again into that soft blue.
âReady for bed?â he asks.
You donât look at him.
âYeah,â you say.
He moves around the room like this is normal.
Like this is routine.
The mattress dips as he climbs in beside you.
And your body tenses before you can stop it.
You remember.
How much you used to hate this.
Still do.
The way he pulls you in.
The weight of his arm around youâheavy, firm, impossible to ignore. The way your back presses against his chest, your movement, restricted without him even trying.
The closeness.
His breath against the back of your neck.
His body so near it blurs the line between space and absence of it.
It could almost be mistaken for comfort.
And you hate that.
You hate it most of all.
Because sometimesâ
it does feel like that.
And you donât want it to.
But itâs thisâ
or the closet.
Dark, tight, airless space that leaves your body aching by the morning.
So you choose this.
Every time.
His hand moves before you notice it. Closing around your wrist.
Not rough.
But firm enough to stop you.
âYouâre going to hurt your skin,â he says.
You blink, looking down.
Only then do you notice the red streaks across your chest where your nails have dragged over and over again.
You hadnât realized.
âIââ you start, then stop.
You donât even know why you were doing it.
You just⊠were.
He turns your wrist slightly, examining it, then lets it go. His fingers travel to brush briefly against the fabric of the shirt youâre wearingâhis shirt.
Old.
Worn.
âIs it the shirt?â he asks. âToo rough?â
You shake your head faintly.
âNo.â
A pause.
âI think itâs the soap,â you say instead. âIt might be too harsh.â
He considers that.
Then nods.
âOkay. Iâll get something milder tomorrow.â
Thereâs a small shift in his tone. Thoughtful. Practical.
âMaybe I can go by your place too,â he adds. âPick up some of your clothes.â
You turn your head toward him.
Thatâ
you didnât expect.
âYou would⊠do that?â you ask, a little quieter.
He looks at you like the answer is obvious.
His hand lifts, brushing a loose strand of your hair back behind your ear. The gesture is gentle. Careful.
âOf course,â he says. âIâd do anything for you.â
Your chest tightens.
You know thatâs not true.
Not really.
Heâd do anythingâ
as long as it keeps you here.
Inside this space.
Inside something that looks like care but feels like a cage.
Stillâ
you take what he offers.
ââŠIt would make me really happy,â you say softly, âif you could bring some of my things.â
He nods immediately.
âOkay. Tomorrow after work.â
A pause.
âIâll get them for you.â
âOkay,â you murmur.
And this timeâ
when the smile comesâ
itâs real.
Small.
But real.
Because for a momentâ
you imagine something of yours
back in your hands.
Morning comes in thin, pale light.
Youâre already awake.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, sheets rumpled beneath youâuntouched, unmended. He hasnât made them. Not today. Not yesterday either.
He used to.
Every crease smoothed out. Every corner pulled tight. Precise. Controlled.
Nowâ
they stay like this.
Because of you.
Dexter stands across the room, already dressed for work. Shirt buttoned. Belt fastened. Everything in place. The routine is still thereâjust⊠shifted.
Adjusted around you.
The closet door is open.
You hear it before you really lookâthe soft click of something unlocking.
A safe.
You donât move.
Donât lean.
Donât make it obvious.
From where you sit, you canât see inside it. Not clearly. Just the angle of his body, slightly turned away, blocking most of it.
You keep your eyes elsewhere.
On your hands.
On the floor.
Talkingâbecause talking feels safer than watching.
âMy clothes,â you say, voice still a little quiet from sleep. âThe ones I wear at home⊠theyâre in the middle section of my closet.â
A pause.
âAnd my books if you could bring them too. The ones on my bedside tableâI havenât finished them yet.â
You hear the faint shift of metal in front of him. In the safe, maybe. Something being moved.
âYes, maâam,â he replies easily.
Thereâs something light in it.
Playful.
It catches you off guard.
A small smile slips onto your face before you can stop it.
Thenâ
he steps back.
And thatâs when you see it.
Your bag.
Your shoulder bag.
In his hands.
Your breath catches.
You thoughtâ
You thought he left it.
At the stairwell. That night. Dropped somewhere in the chaos of it.
But itâs here.
Itâs been here.
The whole time.
You go still without meaning to.
Dexter doesnât notice.
He unzips it without hesitation. Familiar. Easy. Like heâs already done this before.
Like he knows whatâs inside.
Your chest tightens.
He reaches inâ
and pulls out your keys.
Your house keys.
Metal glints briefly in the morning light.
He turns to you like itâs nothing.
âWhich floor?â he asks.
Just like that.
Like this is normal.
Like this is a favor.
You stare at him for a second too long.
Your brain catching up.
âOhâum,â you say, a beat late. âFourth floor, room 406. Building number is 18/04âI think. Itâsâthe only red brick building on the street.â
He nods once.
âGot it.â
Simple.
He tucks the keys into his pocket, then zips your bag back upâneatly, efficientlyâand places it back into the safe.
For a secondâ
your eyes catch whatâs inside.
Just a glimpse.
But enough.
Metal.
Black.
Cold shapes stacked too close together.
Guns.
More than one.
More than a few.
Your stomach drops.
You know heâs a fed.
You know heâsâDaredevil or something else.
But thisâ
this is different.
The safe shuts with a quiet, final click.
Dexter turns back toward you.
He sees it.
The shift in your expression.
The tension you didnât hide fast enough.
âHey,â he says, softer now. âDonât worry about it.â
A small shrug follows.
âJust gear. Comes with the job.â
You nod.
Because what else are you supposed to do?
âRight.â
But it doesnât sit right.
It doesnât feel like just that.
And somewhere, quietlyâ
a thought settles in your mind.
You need to get into that safe.
âActually,â he says suddenly.
Your attention snaps back to him.
âI got you something yesterday.â
You blink.
Confused.
âI forgot to bring it up,â he continues, already moving toward the door. âDidnât want to⊠ruin the mood.â
The word feels strange in this space.
Mood.
Like last night was something normal. Something shared.
He disappears into the kitchen.
And youâre left sitting thereâ
watching the empty doorway,
your thoughts catching up too slowly to everything that just happened.
Dexter returns sooner than you expect.
You hear it firstâthe soft shift of his steps in the hallâthen heâs there in the doorway again, something coiled in his hands.
Metal.
The moment you register it, your body reacts before your mind does.
You pull back on the bed, shoulders tightening, breath catching.
Chains.
Heavy. Cold-looking even from a distance.
âHeyâhey,â he says quickly, noticing the way you recoil. His tone softens, almost careful. âItâs notâ itâs not anything bad. Really.â
He steps closer anyway.
Too close.
Close enough that you can see it properly now.
The weight of it. The dull sheen of metal links. And at the endâ
a cuff.
Your stomach drops.
âI thought,â he starts, almost⊠hopeful, âyou might be tired of being in the bathroom all the time.â
Your eyes flick up to him.
Then back to the chain.
âSo I got you these.â
Got you.
Like itâs a gift.
Your fingers curl into the bedsheet.
ââŠWhere did you even find that?â you ask, voice quieter than you intend.
He doesnât hesitate.
âStorage at the station,â he says easily. âOld evidence.â
A beat.
âI checked it. Itâs clean.â
He adds that part like it matters.
Like that fixes anything.
âI even washed it at the station,â he continues, a small note of pride slipping in. âDidnât want you to think it was⊠you know.â
Dirty.
Used.
Your chest tightens.
Used for what?
Your gaze drags back to the chain, and suddenly your mind fills in the blanks whether you want it to or notâ
a room,
someone else,
Hands or legs that arenât yours,
fear that doesnât belong to youâbut feels close enough to touch.
âHere,â Dexter says.
He holds it out.
âTake it.â
You hesitate.
For a second too long.
His expression flickersânot anger, not yet, but something that edges toward expectation.
So you move.
Slowly.
Your hands lift, and when the metal settles into your palmsâ
itâs heavier than you thought.
Solid.
Real.
Not hypothetical. Not symbolic.
Real enough that it makes your stomach twist.
What the hell?
Dexter smiles.
Actually smiles.
Excited in a way that doesnât match what youâre holding.
âI figured itâs better than locking you in,â he says. âYou can move around more with these on.â
Move around.
With a chain attached to you.
Your grip tightens slightly.
ââŠDid someone die in this?â you ask before you can stop yourself.
The question slips outâraw, unfiltered.
He blinks.
âWhat? No,â he says, almost dismissive. âI donât think so.â
A pause.
âNot that I know of. Itâs from a really old case.â
That doesnât help.
At all.
Your imagination fills in everything he doesnât say.
You can see it.
Someone chained.
Someone waiting.
Someone not leaving.
Your stomach turns.
âNoââ you shake your head quickly, pushing the chain back toward him. âNo, itâs okay. Iâll just stay in the bathroom.â
The words come out faster now.
Safer option.
Safer than this.
But Dexter doesnât take it.
âCome on,â he says, tone still lightâbut firmer now. âYou havenât even tried it.â
âI donât want to try it,â you reply, a little sharper, panic edging in. âDexter, what ifâwhat if someone actuallyââ
âLook,â he cuts in.
Not loud.
But enough to stop you.
A breath.
Then softer again.
âJust try it for a day.â
Thereâs something underneath his voice now.
Not anger.
Not quite.
Control.
âAnd if you donât like it,â he continues, âyou can go back to the bathroom. Okay?â
A beat.
Thenâ
âI know they are a bit heavy but youâll have more freedom with these.â
That word lands differently.
Your thoughts stutter.
Freedom.
Your eyes flick down to the chain again.
Then, without meaning toâ
your mind shifts.
Bathroom.
Door.
Locked.
Hours.
Days.
Nothing but white tile and silence.
Thenâ
this.
The apartment.
The living room.
The hallway.
Closer to the closet.
Closer to the safe.
Closer toâ
anything.
Your pulse quickens.
Not from fear this time.
From calculation.
You look back up at him.
Heâs watching you.
Waiting.
Always waiting.
For the right answer.
You swallow.
Then nod.
Slow.
Reluctant.
ââŠOkay.â
The word feels heavy in your mouth.
Dexterâs face softens immediately.
Relief.
Satisfaction.
âGood,â he says.
Like you made the right choice.
Your gaze drops back to the chain in your hands.
It doesnât look any less menacing.
Doesnât feel any lighter.
But nowâ
it means something else, too.
Not just restraint.
Opportunity.
And thatâ
is enough for you to accept it.
You sit at the edge of the bed, the mattress dipping slightly beneath your weight.
Dexter kneels in front of you.
The position feels wrongâintimate in a way it shouldnât be. Too close. Too deliberate. His head bowed just enough as he works, his hands steady around your ankle.
Cold metal closes around your skin with a sharp click.
You flinch anyway.
The chain drapes between you, heavy, real. It settles against the floor with a soft, dragging sound that seems louder than it should be.
Dexter tugs it once. Testing.
âDoes that hurt?â he asks, like the answer would matter.
You look down at him.
âNo,â you say.
It comes out flat.
He glances up at you then, still on his knees, eyes searching your face like heâs checking for something more than your words.
âGood,â he murmurs.
His hand lingers for a second longer than necessary before he lets go.
âDonât worry,â he adds, softer now. âIt wonât be long. Iâll be back after work.â
After work.
Like this is temporary. Like this is something normal people say to each other before they leave.
You nod.
Small. Automatic.
Itâs enough.
It always seems to be enough.
He smiles at thatâsomething warm flickering across his face, pleased in a quiet, almost boyish way.
âGood girl,â he says.
The words land wrong.
Too gentle for what they mean.
Too easy.
He pushes himself to his feet, already shifting away, reaching for his bag like the moment has passedâas if locking you in place is just another step in his routine.
âIâve got to go,â he adds. âSo behave, okay?â
Another nod.
You donât even think about it this time.
Heâs already halfway out of the room when he pauses.
âHey.â
You look up.
Heâs standing at the edge of the hallway now, one hand resting lightly against the wall. Watching you.
Waiting.
For a second, you donât know what he wants.
Thenâ
he lifts his hand.
A small wave.
Bright. Almost⊠playful.
It catches you off guard.
Something about it is so normal it feels absurd.
And before you can stop itâ
your hand lifts too.
A small, hesitant wave back.
Your lips twitch.
Just barely.
But itâs there.
Thatâs all it takes.
His smile widensâgenuine, satisfied in a way that feels⊠earned.
He lingers for a second longer, eyes on you like heâs committing the image to memory.
Then he turns.
The front door opens.
Closes.
Locks.
Silence settles in after him.
You stay still for a moment.
Thenâ
you exhale.
Long. Heavy.
And let yourself fall back onto the bed.
The chain shifts with you, dragging, reminding.
Your arm comes up over your eyes.
A bitter huff escapes you.
âHave I actually lost my mind?â
You turn your head slightly, staring up at the ceiling.
Waving.
Smiling.
At the man who just chained you to his bed.
Your gaze drifts.
To the window.
Still locked.
Of course it is.
You donât even bother checking.
The drawersâprobably the same.
Everything controlled.
Everything accounted for.
Exceptâ
your eyes shift.
Slowly.
To the closet.
The door sits slightly ajar.
Just enough.
A thin sliver of darkness visible through the gap.
Your stomach tightens.
He forgot.
The thought lands sharp. Electric.
You push yourself up slowly, the chain pulling taut as you move, reminding you of its limitsâbut not stopping you.
Summary: When the pretense of normalcy is the only thing keeping you alive, you start to wonderâdoes anything that happens within it hold meaning, or is it all just part of the act?
C.W: Kidnapping, vomiting, physical violence, psychological manipulation, captivity, implied emotional abuse, power imbalance, trauma responses, mental health issues, suicide themes,
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The sound of keys rattling through the lock pulls you out of sleep before you fully understand you were asleep at all.
Itâs sharp in the quiet. Too sharp.
Your eyes open to the same white tile, the same clinical light, and for a second your mind refuses to assemble anything coherent out of it.
Then hunger hits.
Not gentlyâjust a hollow, dragging awareness in your stomach that makes your body feel suddenly heavier than it was a moment ago.
What time is it?
You donât get to answer that.
The door swings open.
Dexter is already speaking before heâs fully inside.
ââsorry. Iâm really sorry, Iâm late.â
Fast. Immediate. Like the words are part of something rehearsed under pressure rather than thought out.
He crosses the space quickly and crouches in front of you without hesitation. His hands go to your wrists firstâefficient, practicedâand the cuffs click open.
Metal hits tile as he drops them.
The sound feels too loud in the enclosed bathroom.
While he talks, he doesnât stop moving.
âThere was a situation. We had to make an arrest, then a chaseâdidnât have time to come back sooner.â
His tone stays steady, but thereâs an edge under it. Focused. Like his attention is split between you and something else still running in his head.
âYou must be hungry,â he adds, glancing up at you briefly. âI tried to get back as fast as I could.â
The word hungry lands more sharply than expected.
You realize then how light-headed you feel.
Dexterâs hand is already reaching for the bottle on the counterâthe same one he left earlier. Half full now, condensation gone. He unscrews it with one hand.
âDrink this,â he says.
Not asks.
You hesitate automatically.
Your body doesnât even fully understand whyâjust that the situation feels too close, too controlled, too much of him deciding things for you in real time.
His hand steadies your shoulder lightly, not forceful but firm enough that it becomes clear heâs not waiting for permission to care.
âItâs water,â he says, a little more insistently now. âYouâre dehydrated. You need it.â
The bottle tilts toward your mouth.
You try to pull back slightlyâinstinct more than refusalâbut the space is too small and his grip adjusts immediately, keeping you upright without tightening.
âHey,â he says, softer but sharper underneath. âJust drink. Itâs fine.â
So you do.
Or try to.
The first sip comes too fast.
Your body isnât prepared for itâthroat tight, breathing uneven from waking too abruptlyâand the water goes down wrong.
You cough immediately.
It catches hard, forcing you forward.
Dexter shifts with you at once, steadying your back with a hand thatâs too practiced at preventing collapse to feel uncertain.
âThere,â he says quickly. âThere, itâs okay.â
But it doesnât feel okay.
Not physically.
Not in your chest, where the coughing leaves everything tight and burning.
You try again, slower this time, but your hands are unsteady and your breathing doesnât settle properly. Each swallow feels like something you have to push through rather than receive.
The bottle stays at your lips.
Dexter keeps it there.
Not pushing harderâbut not removing it either.
Like hydration is a task that must be completed before anything else is allowed to proceed.
âKeep going,â he says. Not unkind. Not patient either. Just certain. âYouâll feel worse if you donât.â
You try to obey.
But your body keeps reacting too fast, too tense. Another swallow goes down wrong and you cough again, sharper this time, shoulders tightening as you sit up quickly to catch your breath.
Dexterâs hand moves with you immediately, guiding your posture upright.
His expression shifts slightly.
Not anger.
Something tighter.
Frustration, maybeâbut controlled, contained quickly as he adjusts his grip again.
âHey,â he says, quieter now. âHeyâjust breathe. Youâre fine.â
But the tone doesnât land the way itâs meant to.
It sounds less like reassurance and more like instruction under strain.
Your chest is still tight from coughing, your throat burning, and the mismatch between his calm actions and your bodyâs panic makes everything feel unstable.
He notices your reaction.
His eyes flick over your face, reading it too quickly, too precisely.
And for a split second, something in him tightens furtherâas if your inability to settle is a problem heâs trying to solve internally.
You catch it.
That look.
And it immediately turns into something else in your mind.
Heâs upset.
Youâre doing something wrong.
Your hand reaches out before you even fully think it through, grabbing his armânot hard, just desperate.
âIâm sorry,â you say quickly. âIâm sorry, itâs justâbecause you were pouring it while I was lying down, I couldnâtââ
Your voice breaks slightly.
You donât finish the sentence properly.
It doesnât feel like an explanation that matters. It feels like an excuse that needs to exist before consequences follow.
Dexter stills.
Just for a moment.
Then his expression shifts againâsomething in it loosening, recalibrating.
âNo,â he says immediately. âNo, itâs notââ
He stops himself.
Takes a breath.
âItâs fine,â he corrects, more carefully now. âIâm just⊠making sure youâre okay.â
Thereâs a pause after that.
Like heâs trying to align what he just said with what he actually meant.
Your grip on his arm loosens slowly, but you donât fully let go.
Because you donât know what version of him youâre dealing with yet.
And he seems to notice that too.
His voice lowers.
âYou need to eat,â he says. Back to practical. Back to structure. âCome on. I brought something.â
He helps you upânot dragging, not forcing, just guiding you out of the bathroom like the movement itself is already decided.
The water bottle is set aside.
The moment shifts.
Not into safety.
But into something that looks, on the surface, almost like normality again.
Youâre back in the same seat.
Same table. Same angle. Same line of sight across from him.
It feels wrong how familiar it already is.
Dexter moves around the kitchen with an ease that doesnât match anything thatâs happened between you. Thereâs no hesitation in him nowâno stiffness from earlier. Just quiet, practiced movement.
âI picked it up from my favorite place,â he adds, tapping the lid lightly. âBest in New York.â
Youâve never seen the name on the box before.
Not that it matters.
He opens it anywayâlike thereâs something to reveal.
And youâ
youâre slow to react.
Not because youâre not surprised.
Just because your mind is still catching up. Still somewhere back in the bathroom, still trying to settle your breathing, your body, your thoughts into something usable.
By the time you look down into the box, a beat too lateâ
his smile has already faltered slightly.
ââŠYou donât like pizza either?â he asks.
Thereâs something tentative under it. Not quite concern. Not quite disappointment. Just a small disruption in whatever he expected this moment to be.
Your head lifts quickly.
âOhâno. Itâs not like that.â
You lean forward a little, forcing your attention onto the box as if youâd just been distracted.
And then you see it.
You blink.
ââŠIs thatââ you hesitate, trying to make sense of it, ââbroccoli⊠and sausage? On a pizza?â
The words come out before you can soften them.
He doesnât seem bothered.
âOh, yeah,â he says easily, already reaching for a slice. âThatâs mine.â
He gestures to the other side.
âFor youâpepperoni. I wasnât sure what youâd like, so I went with something most people eat.â
Two slices. Clean. Familiar.
Safe.
ââŠRight,â you murmur, nodding.
But your eyes flick back to his slice again, caught on the bright green of the broccoli pressed into melted cheese.
âYou actually like that?â you ask, unable to stop yourself.
He shrugs, like itâs obvious.
âIâve been eating it for a while. You get used to it. Itâs⊠different.â
Different feels like an understatement.
âI donât think I could eat that if it saved my life,â you say quietly.
Thereâs no hostility in it. Just honest disbelief.
He pauses mid-motion, glancing at you.
âSeriously?â
You shake your head.
A beat.
Then he shrugs again, unconcerned.
âSuit yourself.â
He takes a bite.
You look away.
Instead, you reach for your sliceâfingers automatically picking at it, peeling off the pepperoni first. One by one. Careful. Precise.
You bring one piece to your mouth, nibbling at it slowly.
It gives you something to do.
Something small you can control.
âWhere did you even find that?â you ask, nodding toward his slice.
He swallows.
âA friend used to eat it,â he says. Casual. Dismissive. âI tried it. Stuck with it.â
You hum softly, not fully convinced, but not pressing.
He watches you for a second.
âYou should try it,â he adds. âBefore you decide you hate it.â
Your gaze flicks back to the slice in his hand.
The broccoli. The sausage. The way it all blends together.
Your stomach turns slightly.
You shake your head immediately.
âNo.â
The answer is firm this time.
It makes him laugh.
A short, quiet soundâbut real.
You donât expect it.
You look at him for a second longer than you should.
Then back down.
You finish the last of the pepperoni before finally taking a small bite of the pizza itself. Chewing slowly. Carefully.
âI just donât like when food is⊠mixed,â you say after a moment.
He tilts his head slightly.
âHow?â
You swallow.
âIf itâs vegetablesâlike broccoli, or carrots, or anything like thatâI prefer them by themselves.â
You glance down at your plate.
âWhen itâs all together like that, it just⊠feels wrong.â
âWrong?â he repeats.
You nod faintly.
âLike itâs not⊠what itâs supposed to be anymore.â
Thereâs a small pause.
He studies you.
âSo you just eat carrots on their own?â
ââŠYeah.â
âHow?â
âI boil them.â
That earns a reaction.
His brows lift slightly.
âSo youâre just eating ingredients.â
You almost smile.
âMy dad says the same thing.â
And just like thatâ
the moment shifts.
It slips in too quickly.
The mention of him.
Your father.
The memory of not knowing.
Not knowing if heâs okay. If he made it out. Ifâ
Your chest tightens.
Dexter sees it.
The change.
Itâs immediate.
And just as quicklyâ
he redirects.
âYou know,â he says, leaning back slightly, like this was the natural direction of the conversation all along, âI read somewhere that a personâs favorite food says a lot about them.â
Itâs too smooth.
Too intentional.
But it works.
Your thoughts stall, rerouting.
ââŠReally?â you ask, a little uncertain.
âYeah,â he says. âApparently people who like fast food tend to be greedy.â
You blink.
Then frown.
âThatâs⊠not true.â
âHalf the people you know probably like fast food,â he replies.
âYeah.â
âThen half the people you know are greedy.â
âThatâs not fair,â you say, a little more firmly now.
He shrugs, like itâs an easy question.
âTell me whatâs your favorite food, then.â
Your fingers still against your fork.
You donât answer right away.
Favorite food.
It shouldnât be hard.
It should be something simpleâsomething automatic. The kind of answer people give without thinking.
But nothing comes.
At least, nothing that feels⊠right.
Your mind reaches for something normalâpizza, pasta, anything that would make sense here, in this room, across from himâ
But insteadâ
something else rises.
Bright lights.
Gold and pink spinning together in blurred circles. Music in the distance. Laughter that doesnât belong to anyone in particularâjust noise, warm and full and alive.
Sugar dissolving on your tongue.
ââŠCotton candy,â you say.
It comes out quieter than you expected.
Smaller.
Like it doesnât quite belong in the space between you.
Dexter blinks.
âReally?â
Thereâs no judgment in it.
Just⊠surprise. Mild, unfiltered.
You nod, a little self-conscious now.
âI know itâs not really a meal,â you add, glancing down at your plate, âbut⊠I like it.â
âWhy?â he asks.
Simple question.
But his gaze doesnât leave you.
You think for a second.
Trying to explain something that never needed explaining before.
âItâsâŠâ you hesitate, searching for the right word, âsimple.â
Your fingers curl slightly against the edge of the table.
âItâs just sugar. Thatâs it. Nothing hidden. Nothing mixed in.â
No surprises.
No layers.
No things you have to pick apart to understand what youâre actually getting.
Your voice softens without you meaning it to.
âAnd most of my⊠good memories have it in them.â
You donât elaborate.
You donât need to.
The image lingers enough on its own.
Thereâs a pause.
Longer than it should be.
When you glance upâ
heâs still looking at you.
But differently now.
Not confused.
Not dismissive.
Just⊠thinking.
Like your answer didnât fit into anything he expectedâand now heâs trying to figure out where it belongs.
How it works.
What it means.
You shift slightly under the weight of it, suddenly aware of how exposed the answer feels.
So you redirect.
Quietly.
âWhat about you?â
It pulls him back.
You see it happenâthe way his focus snaps into place again, like something re-aligning behind his eyes.
He straightens a little.
âOhââ
The answer is there.
Ready.
You can almost see it formingâautomatic, practiced.
Pizza.
Broccoli.
Sausage.
Something familiar. Something defined.
Butâ
he doesnât say it.
Instead, he pauses.
And for the first time since youâve been sitting hereâ
he hesitates.
âIâŠâ he starts, then stops.
A small breath.
âI used to have one.â
Your gaze lingers on him.
âBut now?â
He looks down at the table for a second.
Like the answer might be there if he looks hard enough.
âIâm not sure anymore.â
The admission sits strangely in the air.
You nod slowly.
âI think that makes sense.â
He glances back up at you.
Thereâs a flicker of something thereâsomething sharper now. Searching.
âWith how many options there are,â you continue, quieter, more thoughtful, âitâs hard to choose just one thing forever.â
He watches you carefully.
âBut youâre supposed to have one,â he says.
Thereâs something in his tone now that wasnât there before.
Not just conversation.
Expectation.
Structure.
âRight?â
The word lands heavier than it should.
âIf you donât⊠how do you choose?â
You meet his gaze fully this time.
Thereâs no avoiding it.
No softening it.
âMaybe you donât have to,â you say.
A small pause.
The room feels quieter.
âMaybe you just choose what feels right in the moment.â
Something shifts.
Subtleâbut undeniable.
You see it in the way his expression stills. The way his shoulders ease just slightly, like something inside him has been⊠answered.
Not solved.
But given direction.
ââŠYeah,â he says after a second.
Quieter now.
Less certainâbut more settled.
âYeah. That makes sense.â
You nod, letting your gaze fall back to your plate.
The conversation softens again.
Slows.
But across from youâ
heâs still thinking.
Still turning it over.
Not the food.
Not really.
Something else.
Something he doesnât say out loud.
And after a moment, almost absentlyâ
he takes another bite of his pizza.
And wondersâ
if maybe he should try cotton candy again.
(A.N: Thank you so much for the support. Also sorry if my characterization of Dex is a bit off from the show counterpart. I try to make him as cannon as possible. I did do my research on people who suffer from BPD but if my depiction is not perfect. I apologize beforehand. Also reader herself suffers some mental issues herself. I think you got the hint from Log 1. That's why here, she isn't that explosive toward Dexter. Anyone normal in her shoes wouldn't be so willing but the reason why she is isn't cause she want to be there nor cause she like Dex. She just thought this is the best thing to do in the moment that's why. Other than that, please follow to stay tuned for coming chapters peace âïžđ)
Summary: When the pretense of normalcy is the only thing keeping you alive, you start to wonderâdoes anything that happens within it hold meaning, or is it all just part of the act? C.W: Kidnapping, vomiting, physical violence, psychological manipulation, captivity, implied emotional abuse, power imbalance, trauma responses, mental health issues, suicide themes,
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The sound comes first.
A sharp crackâwood shifting under pressure.
Then light.
It slices through the darkness before you even fully understand what youâre hearing, forcing your eyes open too fast. Your body follows a second later, jolting awake in a tight, panicked recoil.
The closet feels smaller than before.
Too small.
Your breath catches immediately behind the gag, shallow and uneven, your chest tightening as your mind struggles to place where you are.
Noânoâ
Memory returns in pieces.
Darkness. The door. His voice. The way he looked at you before everything went black again in sleep you didnât choose.
Your body reacts before thought does.
You pull instinctively against your restraints, only to realize thereâs nowhere to go. The ties bite into your wrists and the gag pulls harshly at your jaw as you shift, pain flaring dull and immediate across your face.
Your breathing turns sharper.
Faster.
Thenâ
the door opens wider.
And heâs there.
Dexter.
Standing in the doorway like heâs just walked into a room he expected to be empty.
His eyes are wide.
For a second, he just stares.
Not at you like a threat.
Not like a plan.
Like⊠he didnât expect you to exist in this exact moment.
Then he blinks.
âOhââ he says, almost lightly. Almost wrong for the space. âShoot. Um⊠sorry.â
The tone is almost casual.
Almost gentle.
Like heâs interrupting something minor.
Your stomach drops.
It takes your mind a second to catch up properly, and when it does, the realization hits in a way that feels worse than fear.
Did heâŠseriously forget I was here?
Dexter just stands there for a moment longer, still holding that slightly stunned expression, as if heâs trying to reconcile your presence with whatever internal order he woke up expecting.
It doesnât fit.
Not in his routine.
Not in his morning.
Not in his world.
You watch him carefully, your body still rigid in the cramped space, every muscle locked in place as if movement might provoke something you canât afford.
He exhales through his nose, slow.
Not frustration.
Not relief.
Just⊠adjustment.
Then, without much change in expression, he steps away.
He moves like he already knows what comes next in his day.
Like this is just a deviation.
A detail he needs to correct.
You stay still, watching through the narrow opening of the closet as he crosses the room.
The apartment is quiet in that strange, structured way that feels too deliberate to be natural.
He makes his bed first.
You can see it from the angle of the closet.
Every movement precise. Controlled. The sheets pulled tight, smoothed down, adjusted again if anything looks even slightly off. His hand pauses on the fabric once, and he fixes it immediately, like correcting an error only he can see.
Then he moves again.
To the bathroom.
You can hear the shower turning on. The sound of water hitting skin in a dull distance. Everything almost feels normal.Â
Except itâs not. You are still here.
Still in the closet.
Still bound.
Still watching him exist like you are not part of the same reality.
Your throat tightens behind the gag.
This canât be real.
It feels wrong in a way your mind keeps trying to reject.
Then he comes back into view.
With just a towel wrapped around his waist. Water droplets still, dripping down the plain of his chest and slight steam, still vapourizing off his skin.
As if something has clicked into place and whatever confusion existed before is gone.
He walks toward the closet.
Your body tenses immediately, shrinking back instinctively as much as the space allows.
For a second, he pauses.
Looks at you.
Really looks.
And thereâs that same disconnect againâlike heâs assessing something that doesnât belong in the system but hasnât decided how to remove it yet.
He reached in to take out whatever he came to take above you before his hand moved toward the closet door again.
He was about to close the closet door. Almost in habit.
Then stops.
He doesnât close it.
He leaves it slightly open instead.
Not shut.
Not open.
A gap.
A controlled in-between as if he had decided that was best for you.
Light spills through it in a thin strip, cutting across the dark space where you sit curled tightly, the only thing breaking the blackness.
Then he turns away.
You watch him carefully as he goes back to the bed.
He lays out his clothes with deliberate order, unfolding his folded clothes, adjusting, smoothing fabric before his hand reaches for the towel wrap around his waist.Â
You look away before you could see anything more than you should.Â
Your gaze fixes on the strip of light at the closet door instead. It becomes something to hold onto. Something to anchor yourself with.
The sound of fabric shifts becomes something distant in the room.
Clothes rustling.
A belt being fastened.
Metal against metal.
You donât look.
You donât move.
You just listen.
Thenâ
silence.
Itâs not the kind of silence that feels safe.
Itâs the kind that makes your body tense before anything happens.
Like violence is just a second away.
Then heâs there again.
Closer.
You donât even notice him approaching until the closet door opens wider and your body jerks instinctively, fear snapping through you in an immediate reflex.
Dexter stands in the doorway for a moment longer than he should.
Not moving.
Not speaking.
Just looking at you.
His eyes track the shape of you in the cramped spaceâthe way youâre folded into the corner, the way your shoulders stay tight even when nothing is happening, the way your breathing is still uneven from sleep that never really settled into rest.
Heâs not rushing.
Not reacting.
Heâs assessing.
Like heâs trying to decide what version of this situation heâs supposed to follow.
Then something shifts.
Subtle.
The sharpness in his expression dullsânot into softness exactly, but into something more controlled. More deliberate. Like heâs clicked into a different mode.
The absence from earlier is still there, but itâs no longer complete.
Now itâs focused.
Contained.
He crouches down slowly.
Carefully.
Lowering himself until heâs at your level instead of standing over you.
It changes the space immediately.
Not saferâbut less overwhelming in a way your body reacts to before your mind can argue against it.
âHey,â he says quietly. Then, softer, almost like heâs trying to smooth something over, âHey⊠itâs okay. Itâs okay.â
His hands lift slightly as he says this.
Open.
Palms visible in a way to show heâs safe. That he wonât do her harm.
âIâm just going to take you to the bathroom,â he says, voice quieter now. Smoother. âSo you can wash up. Thatâs all.â
A pause.
âIf thatâs okay.â
The words donât feel like permission.
They feel like structure. Like something being placed in front of you to follow.
Your mind tries to catch up, but it moves too slowly.
Bathroom.
Wash up.
The meaning is there, but it doesnât settle fully. Nothing really settles anymore.
Your body stays pressed into the corner, tense and defensive, even though thereâs nowhere further to go.
He notices.
Of course he does.
âShh,â he says immediately, softer. Almost automatic. âShh⊠itâs okay. Easy.â
It isnât comforting in the way comfort is supposed to be.
Itâs practiced. Like something learned rather than felt.
Like something repeated until it sounds right.
Not for you specificallyâbut for reactions like yours.
His fingers hover near your face for a second, then move carefully to the knot at your mouth.
You flinch instantly.
But thereâs no space for escape.
No distance left to create.
His touch is controlled as he works the fabric loose.
Slow.
Precise.
Each movement deliberate, like even undoing the gag has a correct way to be done.
The pressure at your jaw begins to ease.
Air returns properly to your mouth.
And when the fabric finally comes free, the relief is immediateâbut so is the ache. Your skin feels raw where it had been held too tightly, your jaw sore in a dull, lingering way you didnât fully register until now.
Dexter pauses.
Just watches you.
Quietly.
ââŠThere,â he says after a moment.
Then, slightly softerâless certain, almost like heâs checking a response he expects rather than understandsââFeels better?â
You hesitate.
Your throat tightens.
Everything in you wants to reject the question.
But your body is still too tired, too strained, too overwhelmed to do anything complicated.
So you nod.
Small.
Barely there.
Itâs not agreement.
Itâs survival.
He registers it anyway.
A short nod follows from him in return.
âGood,â he says.
Thereâs a pause.
Then he shifts, extending one hand slightly toward youâbut not touching.
Not grabbing.
Just offering space in a way that feels structured rather than emotional.
âCome on,â he adds. âLetâs get you to the bathroom.â
And even though nothing about this feels safeâ
even though your instincts are still screaming not toâ
you lean into the only version of âcalmâ available in the room.
Because itâs the only thing keeping the fear from spilling over completely.
The bathroom door clicks shut behind you with a soft, final sound that feels too ordinary for whatâs happening.
Everything here is still too bright.
White tiles. Clean grout lines. Surfaces that look wiped down more times than anyone would reasonably care to admit. It doesnât feel like a home bathroom so much as something designed to be inspected.
But it doesnât smell like bleach anymore.
Thereâs warmth in the air. Subtle humidity from a recent shower still lingering, carrying faint traces of soap and shampoo. Itâs strangely grounding in a way you donât expect. Like proof that someone here still performs normal routinesâeats, showers, exists like a person.
Dexter moves behind you without hesitation, like he already knows the layout by heart.
You donât.
Your wrists are still sore when he reaches for them, but his hands pause firstâjust a fraction. Not quite asking, not quite assuming. Then he begins to undo the tie.
Carefully.
Not rushed. Not rough.
Just⊠precise.
The fabric loosens strand by strand, sliding against your skin in slow friction that makes your muscles tense anyway. You donât trust the gentleness. Not really. But you donât pull away either, because thereâs nowhere to go and because every part of you is still trying to understand what kind of moment this is supposed to be.
When the last knot finally gives, your arms drop forward slightly with a dull ache you hadnât fully registered until now.
When finished, he turns toward the counter like itâs nothing unusual at all.
âI left a toothbrush for you,â he says, matter-of-fact. âItâs new.â
You blink at him.
He continues before you can process it.
âBlack bottle is shampoo,â he adds, pointing loosely. âGrey is body wash. White is conditioner.â
His tone is calm. Not distant. Not harsh.
Just⊠instructional.
Like youâre supposed to be here for some entirely normal reason. Like youâve just moved in. Like this is a routine explanation someone gives a guest who might not know where things are yet.
It makes your stomach tighten in a way you canât name.
He steps slightly to the side, gesturing toward the shower knob.
âDonât turn it all the way,â he says. âItâll go cold.â
A pause.
Then, almost as an afterthought, âJust⊠halfway is fine.â
You stare at him.
He doesnât look at you like a stranger.
But he doesnât look at you like someone who belongs in this situation either.
Thatâs the part that doesnât make sense.
Because nothing about this should have a tone like this. Nothing about last night, nothing about the closet, nothing about the way you woke up tied and gagged and half-conscious in a bathtub that looked more like a setup than a place for a person to exist.
And yet heâs standing here explaining shower settings.
Normal. Controlled. Almost careful in a way that feels like effort.
You watch him reach for the toothbrush.
He turns slightly, holding it out like itâs just part of the process.
But then he stops.
His eyes dropâbrieflyâto your wrists.
The skin is rubbed raw where the ties were. Angry red marks circling the bone, small abrasions that didnât exist before last night.
His expression shifts.
Not dramatically.
Just enough that you notice it.
A tightness at the corner of his mouth. A flicker in his eyes like something briefly misfires in his head before itâs pushed back down again.
Youâve seen that look before, somewhere distant in your memoryâback when things were normal enough to have context. Back when you worked together, and he would react to small problems with that same stillness, that same pause like something internally recalculating.
Like a printer breaking in the middle of a quiet office.
He doesnât say anything about your wrists.
He just places the toothbrush on the counter instead of handing it to you.
A controlled choice. A correction of something that didnât quite fit his internal script.
Then he exhales.
âIâm going to make breakfast,â he says.
Thereâs a pause, like heâs expecting something in return. A response. A continuation of normalcy.
You donât give him one.
He nods slightly anyway, as if thatâs enough.
Then he adds, quieter, almost uncertain in a way that feels strange coming from him:
âOkay?â
You donât answer that either.
Because you donât know what youâre supposed to say to that.
He lingers for half a second longer, eyes briefly scanning your face like heâs checking something he canât quite name.
Then he steps back.
And leaves.
The door clicks shut again.
And youâre left standing in a white-tiled room that smells faintly like soap, holding your arms close to your body like they belong to someone elseâtrying to understand how the same person who tied you up, beat you up last night can sound like heâs just making you breakfast this morning.
The bathroom goes quiet again after he leaves.
For a few seconds, you donât move at all.
You just stand there, staring.
At first, it doesnât fully registerâwhat youâre looking at. Itâs just shapes. Colors. Light reflecting off glass.
And then it settles.
Your reflection.
Your face looks⊠wrong.
There are tear tracks dried unevenly across your cheeks, faint streaks pulling at your skin. Your eyes are swollen, rimmed red, lashes clumped slightly where everything had spilled over before. The left side of your face is already darkening, a bruise spreading slowly from your cheekbone toward your temple.
Below your nose, thereâs dried blood.
Not clean.
Not gone.
Just⊠smeared, like it had been wiped away in a hurry and forgotten.
You donât look like yourself.
You look like something that happened.
The thought drifts through your mind without much weight.
Distant.
Your body aches when you shift, but you donât look away. Not yet. Not quite.
Slowly, almost without thinking, your hands move.
You start taking off your clothes.
One layer at a time.
Fabric brushing against your skin in ways that feel too loud, too present. Some parts stick slightly where your skin is warm, sore. You donât rush it. You donât stop either.
You just keep going until thereâs nothing left.
And then youâre standing there.
Bare.
Exposed in a way that doesnât feel like exposureâit just feels like⊠observation.
You look.
Really look this time.
The bruises are worse than you thought.
Faint handprints along your ribsâuneven, blooming under your skin like something pressed too hard, too long. More along your arms. Finger-shaped. Clear enough that you donât have to guess where they came from.
Your hand lifts.
Hesitates.
Then presses gently against your side.
Pain answers immediatelyâsharp enough to make you flinch, but not sharp enough to mean somethingâs broken.
Just enough to remind you itâs there.
Everywhere.
You swallow.
Still nothing.
No tears.
You thinkâvaguelyâthat you should be crying right now.
But it doesnât come.
Itâs like everything inside you is wrapped too tight to reach.
So instead, you turn away from the mirror.
Your gaze drifts across the bathroom, slower this time.
Shelves.
Counter.
Edges.
Corners.
Anything that might help. Anything that might give you⊠something.
Your fingers move to the drawer beneath the sink.
You pull.
It doesnât budge.
You try againâharder this time.
Nothing.
Locked.
Of course it is.
Your jaw tightens just slightly.
Smart motherfucker.
The thought comes, quiet and flat.
After a second, your shoulders drop a fraction.
Fine.
Not now.
Right now, you justâ
you need to feel clean.
You reach for the toothbrush he left.
Pink.
You pause.
Just for a second.
Something about it feels almost absurd.
Pink.
Like that detail makes any kind of sense here.
A strange thought flickers through your mindâsoft, misplaced.
He probably thinks pink means girl.
You wonder, briefly, what his is.
Blue, maybe.
The thought is so normal, so disconnected from everything else, it almost makes your chest feel tight.
But you brush your teeth anyway.
Slowly.
Carefully.
Focusing on the motion more than anything else. The repetition. The familiarity.
Something you know how to do.
Then you step into the shower.
The water takes a moment to warm, shifting from cold to something gentler, steam beginning to rise around you as it settles.
When it hits your skin, you flinch.
Everywhere hurts.
The water finds it allâthe bruises, the sore spots, the places you hadnât even realized were aching until now. Each drop feels like itâs mapping your body for you.
You try to ignore it.
You wash.
Slow movements. Small ones.
But itâs harder than it should be.
Your arms feel heavy.
Your legs unsteady.
Even standing starts to take effort.
Your hand presses against the wall for balance.
You breathe in.
Out.
In.
Outâ
And then you stop trying to hold yourself up.
You sink down slowly, your back sliding against the tile until youâre sitting on the floor of the tub, knees pulling in close to your chest.
The water keeps falling.
Warm.
Steady.
It softens everything.
The sound.
The sharpness.
Even your thoughts feel quieter under it.
For a moment, you just sit there.
Breathing.
Existing.
Not okay.
Not safe.
But⊠quieter.
And thenâ
it hits.
All at once.
Your breath catches, sharp and uneven.
Your chest tightens too fast.
And suddenly youâre crying.
It comes out of you without warningâraw, broken, uncontrollable. Your shoulders shake as the sobs tear through your chest, your face pressing into your arms as everything youâve been holding back finally breaks loose.
Itâs messy.
Loudâthough the water muffles most of it.
You donât try to stop it.
You canât.
You just let it happen.
Let the water run over you.
Let it wash over your skin, your face, your mouth.
You hope it takes the sound with it.
You hope he canât hear you.
Or maybeâ
you hope he wonât care enough to come check.
The knock comes suddenly.
Sharp.
Too loud.
Your head jerks up, breath catching in your throatâ
And before you can reactâ
the door opens.
You gasp, turning immediately, your back to him, arms pulling in tight around yourself on instinct.
ââsorry,â he says quickly.
Not panicked.
Just⊠correcting.
âI brought clothes.â
You donât turn.
You donât move.
You can hear him step in, but he doesnât come closer.
âTheyâre on the counter.â
Thereâs a soft shiftâfabric against surface.
âIâve got to leave soon,â he adds after a second. âSo⊠justâwrap it up.â
He doesnât leave right away.
You can feel it.
That pause.
That expectation.
Like heâs waiting for something.
For you.
Your throat feels tight.
Dry.
ââŠokay,â you manage, your voice small, uneven, barely there.
Itâs enough.
âOkay,â he echoes.
Satisfied.
A step back.
Then the door closes.
And only when it doesâ
only when youâre sure heâs goneâ
you let out the breath you didnât realize you were holding.
The clothes feel wrong the moment you pull them on.
Too big.
Thatâs the first thing you notice.
The shirt hangs loose on your frame, the fabric thinner with wear, the faded green dulled from too many washes. The hem falls to the tops of your thighs, brushing your skin every time you shift. One sleeve dips lower than the other, the collar slightly stretchedâas if it had been pulled too often without care.
Thereâs a small hole near the seam at the side.
You catch it with your fingers, rubbing the edge of it without thinking.
The sweatpants arenât any better. The waistband sits loose around your hips, and the fabric gathers heavily at your ankles, pooling there in soft folds that drag faintly against the floor when you walk.
Theyâre not yours.
They donât fit.
But you donât even consider asking for something else.
Not really.
Instead, you adjust what you can, tugging the shirt down slightly, tightening the waistband with a small knot, just enough so it wonât slip.
Itâs fine.
It has to be.
Before you leave, your eyes liftâalmost automaticallyâto the mirror again.
You look⊠better.
Cleaner, at least.
Your hair is still damp, strands clinging slightly to your neck. Your face is pale, the redness around your eyes dulled but not gone. The bruise on your cheek is still thereâangry and visibleâbut without the dried blood and tear stains, it feels less⊠immediate.
Less like something happening.
More like something that already did.
You hold your own gaze for a second longer.
Then, hesitantlyâalmost without meaning toâyour hand lifts to the collar of the shirt.
Your fingers pinch the fabric.
You bring it closer.
Just slightly.
Enough to press it near your nose.
You inhale.
Detergent, first.
Clean. Neutral.
And thenâsomething else.
Faint.
Warmer.
Something that lingers beneath the soap.
It smells like him.
Not strong. Not overwhelming.
Just⊠there.
The realization makes your chest tighten in a way you donât fully understand. Itâs strange. Intimate in a way it shouldnât be. Your fingers linger there for a second too long before you drop the fabric quickly, like youâve done something you shouldnât have.
You donât think about it.
You canât.
Instead, you turn and reach for the door.
Dexter looks up the moment he hears you.
The newspaper in his hands lowers slightly, his attention shifting immediately toward the soft sound of your steps.
And then he sees you.
Standing there.
In his clothes.
The shirt hangs off you, oversized in a way that makes you look smaller than you are. The sleeves swallowing part of your arms, the fabric shifting loosely with every small movement. The sweatpants bunch at your feet, uneven, clearly not meant for you.
Something in his expression changes.
A smile breaks across his face before he can stop it.
Real.
Unfiltered.
For a moment, it doesnât match anything else youâve seen from him.
Itâs openâalmost boyish. Easy in a way that feels completely out of place here.
âI see my clothes fit you well,â he says.
The comment lands softly, but it makes you look down immediately, your fingers finding the edge of the shirt again, tracing the worn seam just to have something to do.
You donât know what to say.
Thank you feels wrong.
Silence feels wrong too.
So you settle somewhere in between, saying nothing at all.
He doesnât press it.
Instead, he gestures lightly toward the table.
âCome,â he says. âI made breakfast.â
Your eyes follow the motion.
Thereâs a plate already set out for you.
Scrambled eggs.
Sausages.
A cup of coffee beside it, still faintly steaming.
It looks⊠normal.
Too normal.
But you move anyway.
Slowly.
Carefully.
You take the seat across from him without being told.
That seems to please him.
âI didnât know what youâd like,â he adds, settling back into his chair. âSo I just made what I usually eat.â
You nod.
Pick up the fork.
And start with the eggs.
Theyâre warm. Soft. Easy to swallow.
You donât touch the sausages.
You donât touch the coffee.
You just eat quietly, focusing on the motion, on something simple enough not to think too hard about.
Across from you, he watches.
Not intensely.
But enough.
He notices.
Of course he does.
At first, he says nothing.
Thenâ
âWhy arenât you eating the sausages?â
The question is casual.
But it makes you freeze.
Your fork pauses halfway to your mouth.
You glance up, unsure.
ââŠshould I?â you ask quietly.
The question seems to catch him off guard.
âI mean,â he says, a small huff of something like amusement slipping out, âIâm not going to break your bones over a sausage.â
He smiles slightly when he says it.
Like itâs a joke.
But it lands wrong.
Your shoulders tense.
Just enough.
He sees it immediately.
The smile falters.
ââsorry,â he adds quickly. âI didnât mean it like that. You donât have to eat it. I just⊠wanted to know.â
You swallow.
ââŠI donât like sausages,â you say.
He tilts his head slightly.
âReally? So you donât eat hot dogs?â
You shake your head.
âNo. I donât like bread either.â
That earns a stronger reaction.
âWhat?â he says, almost incredulous. âThatâs crazy. Who doesnât like hot dogs?â
A small breath escapes you.
âTheyâre⊠suspicious,â you murmur. âI donât know whatâs in them. And breadâI donât like the texture.â
He studies you for a second.
Then, slowly, nods.
ââŠokay,â he says. âWhen you put it like that, I get it.â
You nod once and go back to your food.
But thenâ
âWell,â he adds lightly, reaching over with his fork, âif youâre not eating themâŠâ
He spears one of the sausages from your plate and drops it onto his.
ââŠI might as well.â
The motion is almost⊠casual.
Unceremonious.
A little too easy.
You blink at it.
A bit surprised.
Itâs not what you expected from him.
Not from the man you remember.
Something about itâsmall, unguardedâcatches you off guard enough that a faint smile slips onto your face before you can stop it.
He sees it.
And for a second, he mirrors it.
Something quiet passes between you.
Thenâ
he lets out a small laugh.
Itâs brief.
But real.
You look up, startled by it, uncertainty flickering across your face.
He notices that too.
âNothing,â he says quickly, shaking his head. âItâs nothing.â
The moment shifts again.
He reaches for his coffee, then pauses.
âYou donât like coffee either?â he asks, glancing at your untouched cup.
You shake your head.
âNo.â
He hums softly, like heâs remembering something.
ââŠyou know,â he says, leaning back slightly, âback at the office⊠Juli used to bring me coffee. On bad days.â
You still.
âI donât know how she noticed,â he continues. âBut every time I had a rough call, it would just⊠show up.â
The memory seems distant to him.
Almost thoughtful.
And thenâ
âIt was me.â
The words leave you before you can stop them.
He blinks.
ââŠwhat?â
You hesitate.
But itâs already out.
âIt was me,â you repeat, quieter now. âI was the one who made them.â
Silence settles between you.
You force yourself to keep going.
âI sat across from you,â you say, your eyes dropping to your plate. âI could hear everything. After difficult calls⊠youâd do breathing exercises. Thatâs how I knew.â
He stares at you.
Not speaking.
âYou used to complain about the coffee,â you add, a little more nervously. âThat it was too sweet. IâIâm sorry about that. I like sweet things, so I didnât really notice.â
His expression shifts.
Subtly.
âWaitâHold on. Iâm just trying to understand,â he says slowly. âYouâre saying⊠it was you?â
You nod.
A flicker of unease passes through you.
ââŠare you mad?â you ask quietly.
âNo,â he says quickly. âNo, Iâm not mad. I justââ
He pauses.
âWhy didnât you give it to me yourself?â
That question lingers.
You donât answer right away.
Your fingers shift slightly against your fork.
You look down.
ââŠbecause,â you say after a moment, âI thought youâd be happier if Juli gave it to you.â
That stops him.
Completely.
His fork stills halfway to the plate.
He doesnât interrupt. Doesnât respond right away. He just⊠looks at you.
Trying to place it.
Trying to make it make sense.
But it doesnât.
Not in any way that fits.
Why would someone do that? Why make the effortânotice, prepare, rememberâand then hand it off to someone else?
Thereâs no function in that.
No gain. No advantage.
Itâs inefficient. Pointless.
Unlessâ
His gaze sharpens slightly, something quieter moving beneath it now.
He knows.
Heâs not oblivious.
Heâs noticed the way you used to look at himâquick glances that lingered a second too long before snapping away. The way your voice would shift when he spoke to you. The way youâd hover just a little closer than necessary when helping him with something.
Heâs heard the comments too.
The others at workâoffhand, careless.
Sheâs into you, man. Donât you see it?
Heâd filed it away at the time. Not important. Just another observation.
But nowâ
Now it doesnât line up.
If you liked himâif that was trueâthen why give that away?
Why let someone else be the one he smiled at?
Why redirect something that was yours?
He doesnât understand it.
Not the logic.
Not the choice.
âYou thoughtâŠâ he starts, slower now, like heâs testing the words as he says them, âIâd be happier.â
Not you.
Juli.
His grip tightens slightly around the fork, though he doesnât seem to notice.
Thatâs not how people usually operate.
Not from what heâs seen.
People want to be seen.
Recognized.
Chosen.
They donât⊠step aside.
Not willingly.
His eyes flick back to you, searching againâlike the answer might be somewhere on your face if he looks hard enough.
But youâre already looking down.
Small.
Quiet.
Like youâve said too much.
And for the first time since this startedâ
he doesnât have a clean way to sort it.
No category to place it in.
No structure to control it.
Just something that sits thereâ
unresolved.
And the quiet that settles between you nowâ
Isnât so easy anymore.
He brings the cuffs out without ceremony.
Metal.
Cold.
Practical.
âHands,â he says.
You hesitate for half a secondâjust enough to feel itâbut not enough to act on it. Then you lift them slowly, keeping them in front of you.
The click is sharp.
Final.
The weight settles around your wrists immediatelyâheavier than you expected. Not just in mass, but in what they mean. The chain between them is short, limiting. Every small movement pulls against it.
Temporary, he said.
âTheyâre just for now,â he adds, almost like heâs answering something you didnât say. His tone is even. Matter-of-fact. âI just need to know youâre not going to do anything⊠impulsive.â
Your gaze stays on the cuffs.
The faint red marks beneath them.
You donât answer.
âAnd donât even think about making a mess,â he continues, glancing toward the bathroom door. âItâs soundproof.â
You donât believe that.
Not fully.
But you donât challenge it either.
Youâve learned that much already.
Silence stretches for a secondâthen something shifts in his expression. Like heâs remembering something he almost forgot.
âHold on.â
He steps out.
The door stays open just long enough for you to hear his footsteps move awayâthen fadeâthen return.
He comes back with a water bottle and a small stack of magazines, setting them down neatly on the edge of the sink. Aligned. Controlled. Like everything else.
âThere,â he says. âYouâll be fine for a few hours.â
A beat.
âIâll come back around lunch.â
He straightens slightly, adjusting his sleeves absentmindedly.
âAnd try not to make a scene,â he adds, quieter nowâbut thereâs an edge to it this time. Sharper. Less patient.
Your stomach tightens.
He exhales through his nose, irritation flickering across his face in a way that feels almost⊠mundane. Like this is what bothers him. Not what happenedâjust the inconvenience after.
âMy neighbor complained,â he says, glancing briefly toward the door. âAbout the noise.â
A small pause.
âA lot of questions,â he mutters, more to himself than to you. âAt five in the morning.â
Something in your chest shifts.
Just slightly.
Hope.
Thin. Fragile. But there.
Maybe she heard enough. Maybe she didnât fully believe him. Maybeâ
âI told her it was a horror movie.â
The words cut clean through it.
Flat.
Casual.
âShe bought it.â
Your breath falters.
Just like that.
Gone.
He looks back at you then, really looksâwatching the way that flicker dies before it can become anything more.
âDonât do that again,â he says.
Not raised.
Not angry.
Just firm.
Because to him, thatâs enough.
âI donât feel like having to explain it twice.â
A beat.
His gaze holds yours for a second longer.
âAnd I really wouldnât like having another reason to hit you.â
Itâs not a threat the way you expect.
Itâs worse.
It sounds like a boundary.
A rule.
Something already decided.
Your fingers tighten slightly against the cuffs without you meaning to, the metal pressing cold into your skin.
ââŠI wonât,â you say quietly.
And this timeâ
you mean it.
âGood.â
He nods once, like that settles it.
Then he turns, heading toward the door.
He steps out.
Pauses.
And for a secondâjust a secondâhe lingers there. Half-turned. Like something didnât quite finish. Like thereâs something he meant to say⊠or something he expects.
Your chest tightens.
What does he want?
A question?
Gratitude?
Permission?
You donât know.
And the longer you say nothing, the more it stretchesâthin and uncomfortable.
So you fill it.
ââŠgoodbye,â you say.
Itâs quiet.
Uncertain.
Almost instinctive.
The word hangs there, strange and misplaced in a room like this.
He looks at you again.
And something shifts.
Itâs smallâbut real.
A smile.
Not sharp. Not mocking.
Earnest.
Almost⊠normal.
âYeah,â he says. âSee you after work.â
Like this is routine.
Like you belong here.
Like this is something that will continue.
Then he steps out fully.
The door closes.
The lock clicks.
And youâre left staring at itâ
the sound still echoing in your earsâ
one thought, cutting through everything else.
Did I just say goodbye to my kidnapper?
The sound rings out againâ
metal striking something solid.
Sharp.
Loud.
It ricochets off the tile, bouncing back at you in a way that feels bigger than the small space should allow.
You swing your hands again.
The chain jerks.
The cuff bites into your wristâ
and the metal edge slams into the door handle.
Clang.
Nothing.
You grit your teeth and hit it again. Harder this time. The impact shoots up your arms, a dull ache settling into your bones, but you donât stop.
Again.
And again.
Each strike louder than the last, the sound filling the bathroom until itâs all you can hearâuntil it drowns out everything else.
It has to give.
Something has to.
The paint around the handle starts to chip. Small flakes falling, exposing the duller layer beneath. A shallow dent forms near the lock where youâve been hitting it over and overâ
but the handle itself doesnât move.
Not even a little.
You stop.
Just for a second.
Breathing hard.
Then you hit it again anyway.
Clang.
Still nothing.
A frustrated sound slips out of youâhalf groan, half breathâas your arms finally drop. The cuffs hang heavy between your wrists, the chain swaying slightly from the motion.
The door stands exactly the same.
Untouched.
Unmoved.
Like you never tried at all.
You stare at it for a long second before letting yourself sink back, your shoulders hitting the wall as you slide down to the floor.
The tile is cold against your back.
Your head tips up, resting there as you look at the door from where you sit.
It feels further away now.
Or maybe youâre just too tired to care.
You donât know what time it is.
Thereâs no window. No natural light to track. Just the steady hum of the exhaust fan above and the harsh white glow of the ceiling lightâconstant, unchanging.
It makes everything feel⊠wrong.
Too clean.
Too still.
Like time isnât moving properly in here.
Your gaze drifts upward.
To the ceiling.
To the vent.
There.
A small, square opening set into the wall near the top. You hadnât really paid attention to it beforeâbut now it sits there, suddenly important.
Possible.
You push yourself up slowly, joints protesting, and move toward the sink. The counter is narrow, but itâll hold.
Carefully, you climb up.
Balance.
Your bare feet shift against the smooth surface as you straighten, lifting yourself onto your toesâ
reaching.
The cuffs clink softly as you stretch your arms up, angling your wrists, trying to get closerâ
But itâs too far.
Your fingers donât even brush it.
Not the screws.
Not the edges.
Nothing.
You strain anyway, pushing up just a little more, like maybe that extra inch will make the differenceâ
It doesnât.
You let out a quiet breath.
Disappointment settles in your chest, heavier than you expected.
Of course it wouldnât be that easy.
You lower yourself back down, stepping off the counter with less care this time, the small hope draining out of you as your feet hit the tile again.
For a moment, you just stand there.
Then your shoulders drop.
Not now.
Maybe later.
Maybe when he slips.
When he forgets something again.
Youâll wait.
Play along.
You turn your attention to the sink insteadâspecifically, to the small stack he left behind.
Magazines.
You step closer, picking one up with bound hands, flipping it open awkwardly.
Furniture.
Layouts.
Neutral tones.
You frown slightly, flipping to another.
Same thing.
Anotherâ
More of it.
ââŠwhat the hell,â you mutter under your breath.
Who even reads these?
You shuffle through the stack until you reach the last oneâand pause.
Oh.
At least this one looks different.
You pull it free.
New York Times.
Still not exactly excitingâbut better than staged living rooms and minimalist kitchens.
You move toward the bathtub, stepping inside the now-dry surface and lowering yourself down until youâre lying back against the curve. Your legs swing over the edge, ankles crossing loosely.
The cuffs shift again, the chain brushing lightly across your face as you adjust the angle of the paper.
You start reading.
Or try to.
Your eyes move across the page, line after lineâbut nothing sticks. The words blur together, meaningless. Your mind refuses to follow them.
You flip the page.
Then another.
Still nothing.
Your focus drifts.
Away from the print.
To the edge of the paper.
To the sterile white light above.
Too bright.
Too clean.
It hums faintly in the background, blending with the fan, filling the silence in a way that feels almost suffocating.
And without meaning toâ
you remember.
Not here.
Not now.
But close enough that it presses in anyway.
Fluorescent panels stretching across a ceiling too high to feel personal. The kind that never look warm no matter how long you stare at them.
A hospital.
You remember the smell first.
Clean, sharpâsterile in a way that sits at the back of your throat. But underneath it, faintly, something softer. Like sea air that doesnât belong here. Like it got lost on the way in and never left.
Youâre sitting.
Cold metal chair.
Too big for you at the time, feet not quite touching the floor properly. The row of them stretches along the wall, empty ones on either side like theyâre waiting for someone who hasnât arrived yet.
You donât know why youâre there.
Just that you have to stay.
So you stay.
Your hands are in your lap. Still. Patient in a way only children can be when they donât know what else to do with time.
In the distance, your parents stand near the vending machines.
They think you canât hear them.
But you can.
ââŠI donât need to be here,â your mother says first.
Her voice is tight. Controlled, but fraying at the edges.
Your father answers after a moment.
âIâm just asking you to get checked in,â he says carefully. âThatâs all. It doesnât have to be a stay. Just⊠evaluation.â
A pause.
Then a short, humorless laugh from her.
âEvaluation turns into admission,â she says. âThatâs how it works, Josh.â
âItâs not always like that.â
âIt is if they decide Iâm a problem.â
Your father exhales. You can hear the exhaustion in it even from here.
âIf itâs needed, thenââ
Then her voice drops, sharper at the edges.
âYou donât understand what those medications do to me,â she says. âI canât think. I canât feel like myself. Itâs like Iâm barely evenâthere.â
âClaireââ
âAnd I know,â she interrupts, sharper now, then soft again just as fast. âI know youâre tired of me. I know you want me gone, just say itââ
âThatâs not what I said.â
Silence.
Then her voice breaks, lower.
âBut I need her,â she says. âI need Birdie. I canât be separated from her.â
âIâm not trying to take her away from you,â your father says, and now thereâs something strained in his voice too. âBut she needs a mother whoââ
âI am her mother,â she snaps immediately.
A beat.
Then your fatherâs voice tightens.
âThen what were you doing with her on that rooftop?â
That lands differently.
Sharper.
The air feels like it changes even from where youâre sitting.
âI was showing her the clouds,â she says quickly, almost defensively. âShe wanted to see them. She likes them.â
âClaire, pleaseââ
âDonât talk to me like Iâmââ
âPlease,â he cuts in, firmer now. âJust⊠get checked in. For her sake if not yours.â
A long silence follows.
When he speaks again, itâs quieter.
âIf you wonât do it for yourself⊠do it for her.â
A pause.
âBirdie needs you stable.â
The word hangs there.
Stable.
You donât understand it then.
Not fully.
You just remember the light above you burning too bright, too white, until it starts to leave little spots in your vision when you blink.
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Summary: When the pretense of normalcy is the only thing keeping you alive, you start to wonderâdoes anything that happens within it hold meaning, or is it all just part of the act?
C.W: Kidnapping, vomiting, physical violence, psychological manipulation, captivity, implied emotional abuse, power imbalance, trauma responses, mental health issues, suicide themes,
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The impact lands cleanâcontrolled, precise.
Her body goes slack almost instantly, the resistance draining out of her as if something inside her simply⊠switched off. He catches her before she can hit the ground, one arm bracing her weight, the other steadying her shoulders. The motion is automatic. Practiced. There is no hesitation in the way he handles herâonly in what comes after.
For a moment, the stairwell falls quiet again.
Only his breathing fills the space, uneven and sharper than it should be, dragging in through his lungs as if it costs him something now. He adjusts his grip slightly, lifting her just enough so her head tilts back, giving him a clearer look at her face.
And thenâ
it settles.
Not confusion. Not doubt.
Recognition.
Itâs her.
Y/N.
His eyes stay on her longer than necessary, scanning her features as if something might shift, as if the reality in front of him might correct itself if he looks closely enough. But it doesnât. It only becomes more certain.
Her.
Here.
Of all places.
His jaw tightens.
What the hell is she doing here?
The thought barely forms before itâs cut short.
Footsteps.
Voices.
Somewhere above themâmoving closer.
His head lifts slightly, attention snapping upward, his mind already moving ahead of the moment. Distance. Timing. Exit points. How long before they turn into the stairwell. How long before they see him.
Not long.
His gaze drops back to her.
Still unconscious. Still breathing.
Still alive.
She saw him.
He knows she did.
The mask had been off. Thereâs no undoing that. No rewriting it. His faceâhis identityâcompromised.
Thereâs only one solution.
There always is.
His grip tightens around her arm, just slightly.
A beat passes.
Too long.
His eyes linger on her face againâlonger this time, not analyzing, not calculatingâjust⊠there.
Then, under his breathâ
âFuck.â
Itâs quiet. Controlled. But final.
The decision isnât clean.
But itâs made.
He reaches up and pulls the mask back down over his face in one smooth motion, the red fabric sliding back into place, sealing him off againârestoring distance, restoring control, restoring what heâs supposed to be.
He doesnât look at her again as he shifts her weight, lifting her fully this time and throwing her over his shoulder. Her body hangs limp against him, unresisting, her arm falling loosely against his back.
Dead weight.
He moves quickly after that.
Down the stairs.
Out the door.
The alley greets him with colder air and silence. No movement. No witnesses. Just dim light and empty space stretching out around him.
Good.
His car is exactly where he left it.
He reaches it in seconds, pulling open the passenger side first. He lowers her into the seatânot gently, not harshlyâjust enough to get her inside. Her head tilts slightly to the side on impact, hair falling across her face.
He pauses.
Only for a fraction of a second.
Watching for movement.
There is none.
Still out.
Still unaware.
He shuts the door.
Circles to the driverâs side.
Gets in.
The engine starts immediately, the low hum grounding in a way nothing else is right now. He pulls out of the alley in one smooth motion, no sudden acceleration, no noise that might draw attention. Just controlled movement blending into the night.
He follows the route.
Exactly as instructed.
Turn by turn.
Street by street.
The path Fisk gave himâclean, efficient, unseen.
His eyes flick to the rearview mirror.
Once.
Twice.
Again.
Nothing lingers behind him. No headlights following too closely. No cars repeating his turns. No pattern forming.
Clear.
Of course it is.
Fisk is rarely wrong about these things.
A breath leaves him, quieter this timeânot relief, not fullyâbut enough to release some of the tight pressure in his chest.
Then his gaze shifts.
Passenger seat.
Sheâs still there.
Unconscious. Unmoving.
A faint mark is already forming where he struck her, just visible under the dim passing streetlights. Her head rests at an awkward angle, her breathing shallow but steady.
Alive.
Still.
Wrong.
His grip tightens around the steering wheel again.
For a moment, he just looks at her.
Not as a target.
Not as a problem.
Not exactly.
Something else.
Something he doesnât name.
âWhat the hell am I supposed to do with you?â
The words come quieter now, almost lost under the sound of the engine.
Not really a question.
Because he already knows what he should do.
He just hasnât done it.
The window gives way with a soft scrape of metal.
He climbs in first, steadying himself on the frame before shifting his weight to bring her through after him. Sheâs still slung over his shoulder, unmoving, her arm hanging loosely down his back. He adjusts his grip without thinking, one hand coming up to shield the side of her head as he clears the windowâmaking sure she doesnât hit the frame on the way in.
The apartment is dark.
Still.
Messy in a way that isnât accidental.
He steps inside fully, boots landing softly against the floor, then turns and nudges the window shut behind him with his heel. The faint noise settles into the room and disappears.
For a moment, he just stands there.
Her weight still over his shoulder.
The quiet pressing in.
Then he moves.
He crosses the room in a few quick steps and lowers her onto the bed. Not gently, not roughâjust enough to get her down. Her body sinks into the mattress, her head rolling slightly to one side, hair falling across her face.
He looks down at her.
Still out.
But not for long.
He knows that.
His jaw tightens.
She saw his face.
The thought lands harder now that heâs still.
Clear.
Unavoidable.
Thatâs the one thing you donât mess up.
His hands curl slightly at his sides.
A sharp exhale leaves him as he turns away from the bed, running a hand through his hair before starting to pace. Once. Twice. Back and forth across the small space like movement alone might fix something thatâs already done.
It doesnât.
The adrenaline is still there, buzzing under his skinâleftover from the stairwell, from the fight, from the mask. It hasnât settled. It doesnât know where to go.
He moves into the kitchen.
If it can even be called that.
Broken glass litters part of the counter and floor, catching what little light there is. He pulls the mask off in one motion, followed by the gloves, tossing both aside without looking. They land somewhere near the sink.
He reaches for a glass too quickly, knocking the dish rack just enough to make it shift. The sound is smallâbut wrong.
He stops.
Adjusts it immediately.
Back into place.
Aligned.
Only then does he turn the tap on.
Water rushes out, loud in the quiet apartment. He fills the glass and drinks without stopping, swallowing hard, like it might push something else down with it. Like it might wash something out.
It doesnât.
It only leaves his throat less dry.
His eyes lift.
Across the room.
To the bed.
Sheâs still there.
Exactly where he left her.
Even in the dark, he can see itâthe faint rise and fall of her chest. Slow. Steady. Unaware.
His gaze fixes on it.
The rhythm.
Up.
Down.
Upâ
His breathing shifts without him noticing at first.
Matching it.
Mirroring it.
Slowly, gradually, the tightness in his chest begins to ease. The sharp edges dull just enough for his thoughts to line up again.
In.
Out.
Inâ
The noise in his head quiets.
And with itâ
the apartment does too.
He notices it then.
How silent it is.
No voices.
No movement.
Just him.
And her.
He turns away first but not cleanly. Itâs more like he drags himself out of the moment by force.
The kitchen light hums faintly overhead as he crosses into it, stepping over a scatter of broken glass without looking down. He knows where everything is. Even like this. Even now.
His hand goes straight to the drawer.
He pulls it open.
Duct tape. Tools. Metal. Disarray.
He takes the roll, shuts the drawer harder than necessary, and stands there for half a second longer than he shouldâjaw tight, breath still not fully settledâbefore turning back toward the bedroom.
This time, his steps are slower.
Measured.
Like heâs recalibrating something inside himself.
She hasnât moved.
Of course she hasnât.
But he still checks.
His eyes scan her the moment he steps back into the roomâchest, shoulders, faceâthe rise and fall of her breathing.
Still there.
Still steady.
Still alive.
He stops beside the bed.
Just look at her.
And thereâs something about itâabout her like thisâthat throws him off more than the blood, the stairwell, the gun ever did.
She looks⊠different.
Not small, exactly.
Not weak.
Justâ
quiet.
Thereâs no tension in her face now. No tightness around her mouth. No flinch, no fear, no awareness. Her lashes rest softly against her cheeks, her breathing slow, even.
Peaceful.
The word lands in his head and sits there, wrong.
He doesnât like it.
Or maybe he doesnât understand it.
Dex crouches down beside the bed, one knee pressing into the floor. The movement is controlled, deliberateâhis body still running on the leftover edge of adrenaline, even if his mind is trying to steady.
His hands reach for her ankles.
He brings them together, not roughâbut not gentle either. Efficient. Practical.
The tape unrolls with a soft, sticky sound as he wraps it around her legs, once, twice, three times. Tight enough that she wonât slip free. Tight enough that it holds.
His fingers press the end down firmly.
Secure.
Thoughâ
His thoughts donât stop moving.
They never do.
A cubicle.
Across from his. Thatâs where she used to sit.
He can see it clearly nowâthe angle, the low partition, the way heâd sometimes catch the top of her head when she leaned forward.
Quiet.
Always quiet.
Didnât talk unless she had to. Didnât insert herself into conversations. Didnât linger in groups.
He had noticed that.
Not because he cared.
Just because he notices things.
Patterns. Absences.
She had been his supervisor.
Briefly.
When he first started his training shifts. Monitoring his calls. Correcting his tone in that soft apologetic voice.
He remembers that now.
The way she would sit slightly turned toward himânot too close, not too farâreading from the guide, then glancing at him like she wasnât sure if she should interrupt.
And onceâ
âBen.â
It had slipped out of her.
Soft.
Accidental.
She corrected herself immediately. But he remembered it. He didnât like it.Â
When people call him Benjamin, it feels wrong. Like heâs Common. Replaceable.
He had told her politely, but firmly at the time to call him Dexter or Dex.
She had nodded.
And then⊠slipped again. Once or twice or more.
Each time quieter.
Like she wasnât sure why she said it either.
His hands move again. Up her body.
To her wrists.
He lifts one arm, then the other, bringing them together.
The tape pulls againâtight, methodical.
There had been someone she stayed close to.
A brunette. Loud. Different.
He frowns slightly, trying to reach for the name.
Mary.
No.
Marâ
Maria.
Maybe.
It doesnât matter.
They had always looked⊠mismatched. Someone like her beside someone like that. He never understood why she tolerated someone like that.
But again he never tried to.
Thenâ
Juli.
The name hits sharp.
His hands pause, fingers still resting against her skin as something tightens in his posture. His gaze shiftsânot at her, but past her, somewhere else entirely.
He thought Juli understood him.
 Not vaguely. Not in the way others pretended to.Â
He thought she got itâthe way things needed to be said, done, structured.
The memory comes back in fragments. Running. Her pace quickening when she saw him. Not stopping. Not listening. He had called outâtried to explain, tried to talk.Â
Not yelling. Not threatening. Just talking.
She said no.
Didnât slow down. Didnât let him finish. Just shut him out.
People had turned. Watched.
She made it loud. Public. Made it about him.
His jaw tightens, a small twitch flickering beneath his eye. His breath sharpens again, irritation cutting through him.
 He had been willing to talk. That mattered. It should have mattered.
His grip tightens slightly around her wristânot enough to hurt, just enough to ground himself.Â
He exhales slowly, forcing the tension out, dragging his focus back down to the present.
To the girl on the bed.
Not Juli. Not running. Not rejecting.
Still. Quiet. Here.
Thereâs a few strands of hair across her face. He notices it without meaning to. It rests against her cheek, catching faintly in the low light. His hand lifts, slower this time, and brushes it back.
 The motion is careful in a way that doesnât match anything else heâs done tonight. He doesnât rush it, doesnât dragâjust moves it gently, like something fragile.
His hand lingers.
His fingers hover, then lower, until his thumb rests lightly against the bruise forming on the side of her faceâthe one he put there. He presses just slightly.
Soft.
Too soft.
His brow tightens faintly. The thought comes quick, clinical.
Bruises easily.
And then, just as quickly, it shifts.
His fingers slide from her cheek down to her neck.
His hand wraps around her throat, fully nowâpalm fitting against the curve, fingers spanning easily from one side to the other. She feels small. Fragile. Contained.
He doesnât squeeze. Not yet.
But he feels it. The structure. The vulnerability. How little force it would take. A slight tightening. A moment. Thatâs all.
His thumb shifts, finding her pulse point.
There.
He feels it. Faint. Steady. Alive.
His breathing slows, syncing unconsciously with that rhythm.
It would be easy.
The thought is simple. Practical.
She saw his face. Thatâs enough. Thatâs always enough.
HellâHe had killed men for less.
His fingers pressâjust slightly. Not enough to stop anything. Just enough to test the edge.
And thenâ
Ben.
The memory cuts through clean.
Not the word.
The way she said it.
Soft. Uncertain.
His grip falters, just a fraction. His eyes shift back to her face. She had known him before all of this. Not closely. Not meaningfully. But enough.
And something about thatâsomething small, undefinedâpulls.
Not enough to justify anything. Not enough to explain anything.
But enough.
His hand drops. Abrupt. Final.
He reaches for the tape again, pulling a smaller strip this time. He bites it free, the sound sharp in the quiet room. His eyes donât leave her as he leans in, one hand steadying her jawânot rough, not gentle, just firm.
He presses the tape over her mouth, sealing it, smoothing it down with his thumb.
Enough.
Not permanent.
Just control.
Time.
He sits back on his heel, hands resting loosely on his thighs now, breathing steadier. He watches her longer than necessary, gaze fixed, unreadable.
Thinking.
Not deciding.
Justâ
not killing her.
And not understanding why.
You wake to a sound you canât place.
Itâs loud. Constant. Mechanical.
It drills into your skull before youâre even fully conscious, and for a second your body reacts before your mind doesâyour heart lurches hard against your ribs, your breath catching halfway in your throat.
Then the pain comes.
A deep, throbbing ache blooms at the side of your head, pulsing outward, slow and heavy. Your limbs feel wrongâtoo heavy, too slowâlike they donât quite belong to you.
You try to move.
You canât.
Thatâs when the panic hits.
Your eyes snap open.
White.
Everything is white.
The light overhead is too bright, too cleanâclinical, almostâflattening everything around you into something unreal. Your vision swims, blurs at the edges, before it steadies enough for you to understand what youâre seeing.
Tiles.
Perfectly aligned.
Too perfect.
Your breath starts to pick up.
You try to move your handsânothing. Your wrists are pulled tight in front of you, something biting into your skin. Your anklesâsame. Bound together, immovable.
Duct tape.
The realization lands all at once.
Sharp.
Suffocating.
A broken sound tries to leave your throatâ
It doesnât.
Your lips.
Taped.
Your breathing spikes immediately, turning shallow, fast. Air pushes through your nose in uneven bursts, your chest rising too quickly, too tight.
Noânoânoâ
You twist, jerkâyour shoulder scraping harshly against cold porcelain.
Thatâs when it clicks.
The tub.
Youâre in a bathtub.
Cold against your side. Hard. Containing.
The roaring sound continues outsideâlouder now that youâre aware of it. A vacuum. Thatâs what it is. A vacuum cleaner, humming somewhere beyond the door.
The normalcy of it makes something in your chest twist.
Your fingers twitch uselessly against the tapeâuntilâ
One nail.
A sliver of it catches the edge.
You latch onto it immediately.
Your movements turn frantic. Clumsy. Desperate. You angle your hand, pressing that single exposed edge against the tape over your mouth, scraping, pullingâ
The adhesive tugs painfully at your skin, but you donât stop.
Anything.
Justâanythingâ
Your gaze flickers around the room in sharp, panicked glances.
Everything is wrong.
Too clean.
The tiles are spotlessâno cracks, no stains, no age. The shelves are aligned with precision. Bottles sit in exact spacing, identical in shape, only differing in colorâdark grey, grey, white.
It doesnât feel lived in.
It feels arranged.
Constructed.
Like a display.
Your stomach turns.
Then the smell hits you fullyâ
Bleach.
Strong. Overpowering.
It burns at the back of your throat, mixing with the metallic taste already rising in your mouth.
You gag.
The tape presses in, trapping it.
Panic spikes violently.
Noânoâ
If you throw upâ
Your breathing fractures completely, turning into sharp, choking inhales through your nose. Tears prick your eyes as you force it down, swallowing hard against it, your whole body trembling.
Focus.
Focusâ
Your nail catches the tape again.
Peels a corner.
Just a littleâ
Hope flickersâ
Thenâ
The sound stops.
The vacuum cuts out abruptly.
Silence crashes in.
You freeze.
Every muscle locks.
Noâ
Footsteps.
Heavy.
Fast.
Too fast.
They hit the floor outside with purposeâclosing the distance before you can even think to move, to hide, toâ
The door swings open.
Heâs there.
Benjamin Poindexter.
Still in the red suit.
But without the mask.
Without the gloves.
His face is bareâfully visibleâand for a second your brain refuses to reconcile it. The man you knew and the man standing there donât fit together.
Blood stains the suit. Dark. Dried in places. Fresh in others.
Your stomach flips violently.
The nausea surges back, stronger, overwhelming.
A choked, muffled sound forces its way out of you as your body curls in on itself instinctively, trying to pull away from him, from everythingâ
His expression shifts.
Not soft.
But alert.
ââshit.â
He moves fast. Too fast.
Heâs at your side in seconds, hands already reaching for the tape at your mouth. His fingers find the edge and rip it away in one sharp pull.
The sting is immediateâraw, burning, your skin pulled with itâbut it barely registers.
Air hits your mouthâ
âand you break.
A sound tears out of you, something between a gasp and a choke, your body folding in on itself as the nausea finally wins.
Heâs already pulling you up. One arm hooks under your shoulders, draggingâliftingâguiding you out of the tub with more force than care. Your knees donât hold. They give instantly, trembling, useless beneath you.
He doesnât let you fall.
The toilet lid snaps up under his hand, and he shoves you forward just in timeâ
You retch.
Violently.
Your body convulses, bound hands useless as they press awkwardly against the porcelain. Your stomach twists, contracts, empties in harsh waves that leave your throat burning and your chest heaving. You gag between breaths, choking on air that wonât come fast enough, your vision blurring with tears.
Itâs messy. Loud. Uncontrolled.
Thereâs no dignity in it. No restraint.
Just survival.
Behind you, he turns his head away almost immediately. His jaw tightens, something tense flickering across his faceâdiscomfort, clear and unhiddenâbut he doesnât step back.
Doesnât leave.
He stays.
One hand remains firm on your shoulder, anchoring you there, keeping you from pitching forward. The other hovers for a momentâuncertain, suspended in hesitationâbefore it settles against your back.
He pats it.
Once.
Then again.
Awkward. Stiff. Slightly off-beatâlike heâs recalling the motion rather than feeling it. Like itâs something learned, not instinct.
âThereââ he mutters under his breath, low and uneven, more to fill the silence than to comfort.
You can barely hold yourself up. Your body trembles with the aftershock, breaths breaking unevenly out of you as you cough weakly over the bowl. Every inhale feels too sharp, too thin, like it isnât enough.
Your weight leans into him without meaning to.
Without permission.
He adjusts automatically.
His grip tightensâjust enough to keep you upright.
Not gentle.
But not harsh either.
Just⊠holding.
And for a momentâ
thatâs all there is.
Your ragged breathing.
The faint hum of the apartment beyond the bathroom walls.
The lingering sting on your lips.
The sour burn in your throat.
And the suffocating, disorienting closeness of him behind youâ
something that almost feels like care,Â
if it didnât come from the person who put you here.
You sit where he left you.
Still.
Too still.
The chair beneath you feels harder than it should, the edge pressing into the backs of your thighs, grounding you in a way you donât want. Your hands are still wrapped in duct tapeâtight, stiff, uselessâresting awkwardly in your lap because there is nowhere else for them to go. You keep them there anyway. Keep them small. Keep them still.
Your fingers twitch faintly inside the binding, an instinct you canât fully shut off, but you force it down before it becomes anything more. The movement only makes you more aware of how trapped they are.
You exhale shakily through your nose and make yourself go quiet.
Heâs still in there.
Still cleaning.
The absurdity presses against your mind.
He kidnapped you.
Bound you.
Dragged you here.
And nowâ
heâs cleaning.
He must have lost it.Â
He truly must have.Â
A sharp sound cuts through the quietâ
âFuck.â
It comes from the bathroom.
Something clattersâmetal against tile, maybe. The noise makes you flinch hard, your shoulders jerking before you can stop them.
Silence follows.
Then movement again.
More controlled this time.
Your gaze driftsâunwilling, unintentionalâtoward the doorway.
Waiting.
Listening.
And thenâ
he steps out.
Dexter stands in the doorway, framed by that same cold, clinical light behind him. For a second, he doesnât move. He just looks at you.
Like heâs checking.
Like youâre something that might not be there if he looks away.
Your breath falters.
You drop your gaze immediately.
You donât look at his face.
Donât look at the blood that still marks the corner of his chin.
Your body starts to shakeâsmall, involuntary tremors you canât quite stop.
Is he going to kill me?
The thought comes first out of instinct.
Simple.
Almost too simple.
But it doesnât stay that way.
It shifts.
Warps into something worse.
Because it isnât really death your mind lingers on.
Itâs everything before it.
Juliâs voice slips in without warningâfragments from earlier, the hesitation, the unease.
He gave off a really weird vibeâŠ
Your stomach tightens.
Youâre alone. No one knows where you are. No one is coming.
And heâs already proven how easily he can overpower you.
Your breathing shortens, shallow and tight.
Itâs not just about being hurt.
Itâs about not being able to stop anything at all.
What is he going to do to me?
The question settles in your chest.
Heavy.
Unanswered.
Too many possibilities follow it, none of them easing the tension curling under your skin.
He exhales sharplyâfrustratedâand turns away.
Not toward you.
Toward the kitchen.
Your gaze flickers after him despite yourself, drawn to the sound of running water. Casual. Ordinary. Completely disconnected from whatâs happening here.
That contrast makes your skin feel colder.
Your bound hands curl slightly in your lapâa useless instinct to protect yourself.
Then he comes back.
He places a glass in front of you.
Carefully.
Perfectly aligned with the edge of the table.
Parallel to your body, like even the smallest misplacement would matter.
He sits across from you.
Watching.
Not casually.
Not idly.
Watching.
His hands come together on the table, fingers interlocking, held deliberately still.
You can feel itâhis attention, sharp and focused, taking in everything.
The shallow rise of your breathing.
The way your shoulders refuse to relax.
The way your eyes wonât meet his.
Youâre afraid.
He knows it.
Not guesses.
Knows.
And thereâs something in the way he registers itâclear, precise, almost clinical.
Of course you are.
He looks like this.
Covered in blood. In the aftermath of something you donât understand.
He hasnât cleaned it.
Hasnât hidden it.
On purpose.
And the awareness of your fear doesnât soften him.
It doesnât satisfy him either.
Yet he still allows it.
Because fear strips people down.
It leaves only whatâs real.
The silence stretches.
Too long.
Too heavy.
It presses in on your chest until you canât take it anymore.
ââŠAre you⊠Daredevil?â
Your voice comes out small. Careful. Like one wrong word might break something.
It catches him.
Not the question itselfâbut that you believe it.
Thereâs a flicker of surprise across his face before he smooths it over. His eyes search yours briefly, like heâs testing it.
You donât take it back.
You mean it.
Something settles in him.
Quickly.
Not neutral.
He leans into it.
âYeah,â he says, almost too easily. âI am.â
The words land heavy.
Your body reacts before you can stop itâa small flinch, barely there.
Your eyes drop back to the glass like itâs something solid to hold onto.
âI wonât tell anyone,â you rush out, the words tumbling over each other. âI swearâIâll justâIâll forget I saw anything. I wonât say anything.â
Your voice shakes, but you keep going anyway.
He watches you.
Really watches you.
And for a second, thereâs something quieter in his expression.
Then he exhales through his nose.
âYeah,â he mutters. âThatâs not how this works.â
You go still.
âI canât just let you walk out after seeing me,â he adds, more firmly now. âYou know that.â
Your lips press together.
Tremble.
But you nod anyway.
Because you do know.
Even if you donât want to.
He leans back slightly in his chair, studying you againâlike heâs recalibrating, re-centering, pulling himself back into control.
âYouâre connected to the Bulletin,â he says.
It isnât a question.
Your head lifts a little, confusion cutting through the fear.
âWhatâ?â
âYour dad,â he clarifies.
And it hits you.
Hard.
Your expression shifts instantlyâfear sharpening into something more focused, more urgent.
âMy dadâheâsâhe was at work tonightââ
Your voice falters as the pieces slam together too fast.
Gunshots.
The stairwell.
The timing.
You can almost hear it again.
He sees it happen. Sees the realization take shape in your face.
And he presses into it.
âHeâs part of the team looking into Wilson Fisk,â he says, steady, controlled. âWhich means you are too. Whether you realize it or not.â
Your breathing starts to pick up again.
âFisk doesnât like loose ends,â he continues. âIf he decides to clean things up, he doesnât stop at just the reporters.â
A brief pause.
âItâs usually a full wipe.â
He watches you closely.
Waiting.
Expecting panicâthe kind that turns inward. The kind that makes people think about themselves first.
But insteadâ
âIs he okay?â
The question comes out immediately.
No hesitation.
No calculation.
Just urgency.
Dexter blinks.
Just once.
It throws himâif only slightly.
âI donât know,â he says, the words coming a fraction slower this time. Not softer. Just less precise.
âThere was a shootout,â he adds, adjusting quickly. âAt the building. Someone went in.â
Your face drains of color.
âI tried to stop it,â he continues. âBut I didnât stay long enough to see who got out.â
Thatâs enough.
Itâs all you need.
âI have to go,â you murmur, already shifting forward in your seat despite the restraints, your body moving before your mind can catch up. âI have to find himâI need toââ
Your eyes lift to him again, more direct this time despite the fear.
âPlease,â you say, your voice breaking no matter how hard you try to hold it steady. âPlease just let me go. I wonât tell anyone, I swear. I justâI need to find my dadââ
Youâre not thinking about yourself.
Not even a little.
And thatâ
that irritates him.
Something sharp flickers beneath his control.
âYou really think Iâd trust that?â he cuts in.
It stops you immediately.
Your voice disappears.
Your shoulders tense again, fear snapping back into place like a reflex.
Better.
Thatâs easier to manage.
âI know you save people,â you say suddenly, grasping for anything that might reach him. âYouâyou help people. You wouldnât justâkeep someone like thisââ
His expression tightens.
Subtle.
But unmistakable.
Because youâre not talking about him.
Youâre talking about someone else.
Someone heâs pretending to be.
âI donât care what you think I am,â he says flatly now, irritation slipping through the edges.
âYou saw my face.â
He leans forward slightly, forearms resting on the table, closing the distance just enough to feel intentional.
âAnd Fisk is already looking for anyone tied to your dad.â
His gaze locks onto yours.
âYouâd trade that information in a second if it meant saving your skin or his.â
âI wouldnât,â you say quickly, almost on instinct.
He doesnât hesitate.
âYou would.â
Firm.
Certain.
Like itâs already decided.
Like your answer doesnât matter.
And thatâs when it settles in.
He isnât letting you go.
Not because he hates you.
Not because he wants to hurt you.
But because, to himâ
this is the only outcome that makes sense.
And nothing you say is going to change that.
Your gaze dropsâslowly, deliberatelyâuntil it lands on the glass.
It sits there between you. Still. Harmless. Ordinary.
Your throat tightens.
Think.
Think.
âCan you⊠take the tape off my hands?â you ask, your voice quieter now, carefulâcontrolled. âIâI canât drink like this.â
He doesnât answer immediately.
You feel itâhis attention sharpening. Weighing. Measuring.
Suspicious.
Your lips part slightly.
âPlease.â
The word comes softer this time. Not forced. Just⊠placed.
It works.
Not fully. Not trust.
But enough.
He leans forward, his fingers closing around your wrists. His grip is firm, controlled, as he starts peeling the tape away. It comes off in layersâslow at first, then quicker as he finds an edge. The adhesive pulls harshly at your skin, rough and unforgiving, and you canât stop the small wince that slips out.
He doesnât acknowledge it.
Doesnât slow.
Just finishes it like it doesnât matter.
When itâs done, he rolls the tape into a tight ball and flicks it toward the bin without looking.
It lands perfectly.
You barely notice.
Your hands are already moving.
You reach for the glass with both hands, fingers unsteady, and bring it to your mouth. The water hits your throat too fastâtoo muchâbut you keep drinking anyway. It spills at the corners, dampening your lips, your chin, but you donât stop until itâs gone.
You set it down carefully.
Too carefully.
Control it.
âCan I have⊠another?â you ask, quieter now. âIâm really thirsty.â
Thereâs a pause.
A long one.
You can feel him looking at you.
Thenâ
a breath. Slightly irritated.
He takes the glass and stands, turning toward the kitchen.
Donât rush.
Donâtâ
The second his back is fully to youâ
you move.
Fast.
Your hands drop to your ankles, fingers immediately fumbling for the edge of the tape. Itâs tighter than you expected, layers sticking stubbornly against your skin.
Your breath spikes.
Too loud.
Too fast.
Slowâno, fasterâ
Behind you, the sound of running water fills the space. The tap. Strong. Steady.
You freeze for half a secondâ
listening.
Is he turning?
No.
Still running.
Your fingers dig harder, nails scraping untilâfinallyâyou catch an edge. You pullâtoo sharpâand the tape resists, stretching before giving just a little.
Your heart slams against your ribs.
Hurry.
The water is still running.
But it could stop any second.
You peel againâslower now, trying to keep it quiet. The adhesive tugs at your skin, burning as it lifts.
Your fingers slip.
Shitâ
You grab again, tighter this time, forcing your nails under the edge and pulling harder. This time it gives more, loosening just enough for you to wedge your fingers between the layers.
Behind youâ
the water pressure shifts.
A faint clink.
Your entire body locks.
Heâs finishing.
Move.
Moveâ
You rip the rest free.
The tape comes off all at once, peeling away in a sudden release that nearly throws you off balance.
For a split secondâ
everything stops.
Thenâ
you run.
The chair scrapes violently against the floor as you shove back, your bare feet hitting the ground hard as you bolt toward the bedroom.
Behind youâ
glass hits the counter.
Sharp.
Fast.
âHeyââ
You donât look back.
Donât think.
Your chest burns as you sprint, the doorway too farâtoo slowâ
For one terrifying second, it feels like you wonât make itâ
Like something will grab you, drag you backâ
But you cross it.
You throw yourself into the room, fingers scrambling for the handle as you yank the door shut with everything you haveâ
It slams.
Hard.
The lock clicks into place.
Loud.
Final.
Your back hits the door as your body falters, breath breaking into sharp, uneven gasps.
Your heart is pounding so hard it hurts.
But youâre inside.
The lock hasnât even settled into place before the door behind you explodes with force.
The impact is violentâwood rattling in its frame, the entire panel shuddering under the weight of him. It sends a shock through the room, through your spine, through your bones.
You scream.
It tears out of you before you can stop it.
The door hits again.
Harder.
It wonât hold.
You know it immediately.
Thereâs no thinking after thatâonly movement.
You stumble toward the window, your fingers slipping for half a second before you manage to shove it open. The metal frame grinds loudly as it slides, cold night air rushing in as you climbâawkward, desperateâhalf over the sill, one leg already out onto the fire escape.
Behind youâ
a crack.
Wood splintering.
The door gives.
You donât look.
You canât.
You drag yourself forwardâ
And thenâ
your ankle is caught.
A handâiron-tightâlocks around your leg and yanks.
Your body jerks violently backward, your grip on the metal railing slipping as a sharp, panicked scream rips out of youâraw, uncontrolled.
âNoâ!â
It doesnât matter.
His other arm wraps around your torso, hauling you fully back inside like you weigh nothing. Your fingers claw at the metal edge of the fire escape, nails scraping uselessly as you try to hold onâ
but heâs stronger.
So much stronger.
The window slams shut with a sharp, echoing crack as he drags you away from it.
You thrash.
Kick.
Fight with everything you have left.
For a split secondâyou slip from his grip.
Hope flashesâ
Then itâs gone.
His arms wrap around you againâtighter this time, crushing. Your ribs compress under the force, air forced violently from your lungs in a broken gasp.
You canât breathe.
You try to screamâbut it comes out thin, strangled, barely a sound at all.
Stillâyou fight.
Wild.
Desperate.
It only makes him snap.
He throws you onto the bed.
Hard.
The impact knocks what little air you had left from your chest as you land on your back, the mattress dipping sharply beneath you. Before you can recover, heâs on youâpinning you down.
One hand captures both your wrists, forcing them together above your chest, pressing them down with a strength that feels immovable.
You buck beneath him.
Kick.
Cry.
Your voice breaks as you try to scream againâ
âShut up.â
Itâs sharp. Low. Strained.
You donât stop.
You canât.
The sound claws its way out of youâ
CRACK
The slap comes fast.
Brutal.
Your head snaps to the side with the force of it, the sound cracking through the room like something splitting open. For a moment, everything distorts. A high, sharp ringing floods your ears, drowning out everything else. Your cheek burnsâthen goes numbâand your vision flickers as your body goes completely still in shock.
The scream dies in your throat.
Silence drops over the room. Heavy. Suffocating.
Your breathing comes back in shallow, broken pulls.
His hand is on you again before you can even process itâgripping your jaw, forcing your face back toward him. His fingers press in, not gentle, not carefulâjust controlled. Like youâre something he needs to keep still.
âShut the fuck up,â he says, low and sharp. âAnd behave.â
Your eyes are wide. Too wide. Tears spill over without resistance now, sliding into your hairline, down your temples.
âIf you donât,â he adds, voice tightening just slightly, âIâll regret not blowing your brains out.â
Thatâs what stills you.
Not comfort. Not understanding.
Just fearâcold and immediate.
Your body goes rigid beneath him, trembling in small, uncontrollable bursts. Your breaths come in short, uneven pulls, barely enough to fill your lungs.
He lets go of your face.
But he doesnât move away.
He watches.
Waiting.
Testing.
You donât fight. You donât move. You donât even try to speak. You just lie there, frozen under him, like if you do anything at all it might make things worse.
His gaze drags over you slowly, assessing.
And thenâ
he notices.
A thin line of red slipping from your nose.
Blood.
It gathers at your lip before dripping down.
He blinks. Once.
ââŠfuck.â
The word is quieter this time. Less sharp.
Something shifts.
His thumb comes up almost without thought, brushing the blood away. The motion is slower than anything else heâs doneârough skin against something far too soft, but⊠careful. Careful in a way that doesnât belong here.
Your skin feels too warm under his hand. Too fragile.
He frowns faintly.
You break easily.
The thought settles in him, unwelcome.
For a secondâsomething flickers. A memory. Small, warm bodies in his hands. Fragile things he didnât understand the weight of. The way they stilled too quickly when held too tight. The way he hadnât known the difference between holding and hurting.
The memory vanishes just as fast.
He pulls back.
Abrupt.
Like it irritates him.
He straightens, rising off you, creating spaceâbut not distance. Not really. His eyes never leave you. Not for a second. They track every tremor, every shallow breath, every tiny movement like you might bolt again.
You donât.
You canât.
The fight is goneâat least for now.
You lie there stiff, small without meaning to be, your body folding inward in ways you donât even realize.
He knows.
And you know he knows.
If you try againâ
it wonât matter.
He steps back toward the closet, opening it without looking. The door creaks softly. His hand moves inside with familiarity, pushing past fabric until his fingers find what he wantsâtwo ties.
When he turns back, your body reacts before you can stop it.
A small tightening. A hitch in your breath.
He notices.
Of course he does.
But you donât fight when he reaches you.
You donât have anything left to fight with.
He flips you onto your stomach. Controlled. Firm. Your body turns under his hands without resistance, your cheek pressing into the mattress, your breath catching.
Your arms are already being pulled back.
Your shoulders strain as he forces your wrists together behind you, binding them tight with the tie. The fabric bites into your skin as he knots it onceâthen againâpulling it tighter each time.
You feel it lock.
Secure.
Unforgiving.
He checks it. Presses. Tests.
Thereâs no give.
He makes sure of it.
Then he pulls you upright again, forcing you to sit at the edge of the bed. Your body sways slightly, unsteady, but you donât resist.
You donât look at him.
You canât.
Your gaze fixes somewhere elseâanywhere elseâavoiding him entirely.
He lets you.
Itâs better that way.
Thereâs something about the way you looked at him beforeâwide, terrified, searchingâthat sits wrong under his skin.
He doesnât want it again.
Not right now.
The second tie comes next.
His hand steadies your jaw just enough to keep you still as he pulls the fabric tight across your mouth, securing it behind your head. It presses in, firm, restrictive. Your breath stutters against it, muffled, uneven.
You swallow hard.
It barely helps.
He lets go.
Then grabs your arm.
Pulls you up.
Not gently.
You stumble, your legs barely catching you before heâs dragging you forward, guidingâforcingâyou across the room.
The closet door opens.
Dark.
Tight.
Waiting.
You donât even have time to react before he shoves you inside.
Your body folds automatically, knees pulling in because thereâs no other way to fit. Your shoulder presses against the wall, your back against hanging clothes that brush against your skin. Thereâs barely space to breathe, let alone move.
You canât stretch your legs.
Canât straighten your back.
Even the air feels wrongâtoo close, too warm, your own breathing echoing back at you.
Trapped.
He leans in againâ
not for you.
His hand reaches past you, grabbing clothes like this is routine. Like youâre nothing more than something temporarily in the way.
Like you already belong there.
Then he pauses.
Looks down at you.
Really looks.
You feel smaller under it.
Folded in on yourself.
Cowering without meaning toâyour shoulders drawn in, your head slightly lowered, your eyes flickering up before dropping again just as fast.
He holds you there with his gaze.
âDonât try anything,â he says, voice flat. Controlled.
A beat.
Then, quieterâ
sharper.
âThat wasnât even half my strength.â
Your body reacts instantly.
A small recoil you canât stopâyour shoulders pulling in tighter, your knees curling closer to your chest. Your breath stutters behind the gag, a soft, panicked sound trapped in the fabric.
You donât even realize youâre doing it.
He sees it.
Takes it in.
He doesnât enjoy it.
Not exactly.
But it works.
Fear like that keeps you still.
Keeps you quiet.
Keeps you predictable.
And right nowâ
thatâs enough.
He watches you for one second longer.
Thenâ
the door slams shut.
Darkness crashes in.
Total.
Heavy.
The air feels thinner instantly, pressing in around you.
And the only thing leftâ
is the sound of your own breathing,
trapped in the dark with you.
Everything is bright.
Too bright.
The kind of brightness that feels soft instead of harsh, like it wraps around you rather than pressing down. It seeps into everythingâthe sky, the air, the space around youâuntil it almost feels unreal.
You notice the sky first.
Endless blue, stretching so far it doesnât feel like it could ever end. Itâs too perfect. Too clear. The kind of blue that doesnât exist anywhere else but here.
A bird cuts across it.
Small. Effortless.
Its wings catch the light as it glides, dipping and rising like it belongs to the air itself. You watch it, your eyes following the gentle rhythm of its movement, the way it doesnât struggleâdoesnât hesitate.
It just⊠flies.
More birds follow, scattered across the sky, drifting between clouds that look impossibly soft. The clouds spread wide and slow, thick and pale, like theyâve been painted there on purpose.
Itâs quiet.
Peaceful.
âBirdieâŠâ
The voice comes gently, somewhere close.
Soft enough that it feels like itâs always been there.
âHave you ever wondered if we could fly like those birds?â
You hesitate.
Just for a second.
Your fingers curl slightly at your sides, and you tilt your head, still looking up at the sky as if the answer might be there.
ââŠIâm not sure,â you murmur, small and unsure.
The idea feels strange.
A little impossible.
A little scary.
Thereâs a pauseâwarm, patient.
Thenâ
âWell⊠what if we can?â the voice continues, softer now. âWhat if we can fly just as freely as they do?â
Something in your chest shifts.
You glance down slightly, your uncertainty still thereâbut weaker now. Thinner.
âWould you want to try?â the voice asks.
âWanna fly with me, Birdie?â
You look back at the sky.
At the birds.
At how easy it looks.
For a moment, thereâs a flicker of hesitation againâsmall, fragile. The kind that makes your chest feel tight for no reason you can explain.
But thenâ
the warmth beside you stays.
Steady.
Certain.
And you trust it.
You always have.
A small smile finds its way onto your face, quiet and unguarded.
ââŠokay,â you say.
Soft.
Certain.
âOkay, mommy.â
Your hand lifts without thinking, reaching outâsmall fingers finding something familiar, something safe. You hold on without hesitation, your grip gentle but sure.
Summary: A quiet observer finds comfort in a man she barely knows, drawn not to who he is but to what feels hauntingly familiar. Between unspoken longing, quiet routines, and things left unsaid, she mistakes distance for safety.
Until one night, in a blood-stained stairwell, familiarity turns into something far more dangerous.
C.W: slow burn, psychological tension, morally gray characters, unhealthy attachment, quiet obsession, workplace dynamics, unrequited feelings, distorted comfort, trauma undertones, violence, blood, canon divergence (daredevil s3), kidnapping setup.
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You donât see him move.
You just feel it.
A force slams into you, driving you back into the wall.
Your shoulders hit first.
Then your head.
The air leaves your lungs in a sharp, silent burst.
Before you can gaspâ
his hand is over your mouth.
Firm.
Hot.
Unyielding.
It seals tight, pressing your jaw back.
Your hands fly up instantlyâ
grabbingâ
clawingâ
his wrist, his forearmâ
your nails drag against skinâ
against fabricâ
anythingâ
but it doesnât matter.
He doesnât move.
He doesnât budge.
Heâs solid.
Completely.
Your back is pinned flat to the wall.
Your chest strains for air that wonât come properly.
Your breath breaks into panicked, shallow pulls through your nose.
Tears blur your vision before you realize theyâre there.
His body is too close.
Too heavy.
You can feel the heat of him.
The tension in his muscles.
The way his breath stutters against your cheekâ
warmâ
erraticâ
smelling of iron and something bitter underneath.
Blood.
Thereâs blood on him.
On you.
Somewhere.
Your fingers slip.
Your grip weakens.
But your body keeps tryingâ
fightingâ
even as your strength starts to falter under the panic.
Thenâ
metal.
Cold.
Hard.
The press of it against your forehead.
It registers instantly.
Your body reacts before your thoughts can form.
You go still.
Not calm.
Not controlled.
Frozen.
Your chest jerks with one sharp inhaleâ
then stops.
Even your handsâ
pauseâ
hovering weakly against him.
Your vision narrows.
All of itâ
everythingâ
collapses into that single point of contact.
Cold against skin.
His eyes on you.
They donât waver.
They donât soften.
They hold you there.
Locked.
Unblinking.
For a momentâ
you understand it.
Not in words.
Not clearly.
But in your bones.
This is it.
This is where it ends.
Your body trembles beneath him.
A small, involuntary shake you canât control.
Your breath catches againâ
â
And thenâ
it shifts.
So slight it almost doesnât exist.
A flicker.
In his gaze.
A break in the intensity.
Recognition.
It hits.
You see it happen.
Right there.
His focus stutters.
His gripâ
loosensâ
just barely.
Not enough to free you.
But enough.
Enough to change something.
His eyes move over your face againâ
differently this time.
Seeing.
Not just targeting.
His chest rises sharply.
Something in him falters.
Just for a second.
â
The gun doesnât fire.
Insteadâ
movement.
Fast.
Close.
A sharp strike at the side of your head.
Not brutal.
Precise.
Your vision fractures instantly.
Light splinters.
The stairwell tilts violently.
Sound distorts into a dull, distant ringing.
Your body slackens against him before you even feel yourself falling.
His grip is still thereâ
holdingâ
not letting you hit the ground.
The last thing you seeâ
through blurred, breaking visionâ
is his face.
Closer now.
Too close.
His eyesâ
no longer wild in the same wayâ
but something worse.
Something conflicted.
Like the decision has already been madeâ
and regrettedâ
at the same time.
A.N: Ok so the last part where she met Dexter, itâs the night where the New York Bulletin got attacked. In season 3 episode 7. In the coming chapters, it will diverge from canon so I apologize beforehand for that. Also sorry if the chapter is long and a deep dive into the character of Y/N instead of Dexter that much. It is for you guys to understand OC!Y/Nâs character before we dive into her relationship with Dexter. Also with the way I format my fanfic, they are pretty long and more dialogues than action type. It's kinda like a novel instead of one shot fanfics so if you are not into that. I understand. Any how, thank you for the read and I hope you guys enjoyed it. Till next time Byeeee.