an over-gilded doorknob

Ok so thanks for voting on this but i need you to reblog it too

we don't hate J.J. Abrams enough

we should learn to speak in a language that rich people who don't dream can't comprehend

I think those fancomics where Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes is transgender are cute and fun but I also think it's a deep misunderstanding of Calvin's character to think he would transition into a heterosexual normie who goes to her high school reunion. That girl would have neopronouns and fang implants

Adult Calvin is a tattoo artist named Panthera who is the bassist in a terrible metal band called Captain Napalm and Hobbes helps do faer E injections

I know it's like 2 weeks too late to change it but I'm so mad I didn't realize that the band would obviously be called "Get Rid Of Slimy GirlS". I walk the road of shame

The thing about Miss Piggy is that she kind of has a Roger Rabbit comedy superpower where she wins nearly any conceivable fight she's in. But unlike other characters of which that's true, like say, Bugs Bunny, who tend to win because they make the opponent play the game with their rules, Miss Piggy wins because the joke is that she can beat the shit out of literally anybody.

duuuuuude you have GOT to come out tonight we're enacting cruelty upon those who have transgressed so badly that we can justify any act against them... and you KNOW we're interpreting our delight as moral righteousness... Yeah it's fucking crazyyyyyyy get an Uber

Frankly, the weirdest thing about Columbo from the perspective of modern network television isn't the narrative structure – it's the episode length. I'm checking Wikipedia right now to make sure I'm remembering this correctly, and apparently episodes of Columbo range from 73 to 98 minutes in length. Like, the shortest episodes of Columbo are on par with the longest episodes of Game of Thrones. The minimum length to be classified as a "feature film" is 80 minutes, so 50% of the episodes are technically movies. Including commercial breaks for broadcast television, this show would have originally aired in a two-hour timeslot. When folks remark on how weird it is that Columbo himself often doesn't even show up until the second act, you need to understand that what we're talking about is a show where the title character is often first strolling on screen thirty-five minutes in.

I like to think the reason Peter Falk often looks so beat to shit isn't the makeup department's doing, it's just what happens to you when you're starring in eight feature films per year for the third year in a row.

I love it when folks get the "-ist" and "-est" suffixes mixed up. Like, I'm fully prepared to believe that you're medieval, but medievalest? That's a bold claim!

#that character is NOT your 'specialist princess' unless you can tell me right now what they specialize in (via @jennynext)

Reblog if you're grateful for your internet friends

"shipping discourse" but it's in 2nd-Age Numemor and the major opinions are "boats are making this country great" vs "boats are destroying the environment and also my marriage"