an over-gilded doorknob

If you cannot make your own cursed blade, do not, under ANY circumstances, use a store bought cursed blade instead. Just don't continue with the recipe.

i cant come in to work today the connection between my spirit and my body was permanently severed

“i love how we as a fandom have just agreed that–” don’t include me in this. do NOT lump me in with that.

i’m already living in a time loop it’s called being employed

[Stomping around the kitchen talking into a landline phone] Oh, look who came crawling back. You nevah call, you nevah write, but now all of a sudden you've got time for your poor, sick mother. What kind of trouble did you get yourself in now? Was it that wizard and his tomes again? Oh, no, I don't wanna hear it. I don't wanna hear about any "unspeakable curse" or any "demon runeblade" or any "infernal demon-knights of Kal'Nurothas" or whatevah. You're just like your fathah.

"Ma! Ma, there'sa fuckin DRAGON outsideah the apahtment! MA!"

"I have never seen a cat that showed affection/love for it's owner" is the pet ownership version of "I don't believe in Female Orgasms they don't exist, after all, my wife has never had one"

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

Tumblr users will read a post complaining about normalized misogyny and hyperfocus on your claim that it's ok to dislike dogs

NNNNEVER BE WELL KNOWN ON TUMBLR. SO MANY OF YOUR POSTS WILL BE SEEN BY HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE AND NOT ALL OF THEM WILL AGREE WITH YOU (WHICH IS FINE) AND SOME OF THEM WILL BE SENSIBLE ENOUGH TO BLOCK YOU OVER IT (WHICH IS FINE) AND IF YOU ARE FUCKED IN THE BRAIN THIS WILL EAT YOU ALIVE. OR AT LEAST NIBBLE YOU ALIVE.

ACTUALLY YEAH does anyone with OCD or similar who has found a way to deal with this specific nauseating source of anxiety have ANY ADVICE. I am fucking under attack from my own noggin

@inneskeeper

...I want to refute this but no, I....yeah