To My Star 2: a love letter to all the jiwoos out there...
Its been years since a show have made me feel this way, but i will start by saying that i agree with the some of the critique of the show, there are pacing issues and so many topics that remain unexplored, these comments are absolutely valid...but the thing is, i can be aware and accept these issues and it would still not reduce my enjoyment of the show, i think we all have different tolerance levels for the media that we consume, and god knows i have enjoyed shows more issues than tms2 (Danyok anyone?)
Ok time to rave about this show, i have been rewatching ep 10 since last sunday and yesterday i rewatched the whole season and i was ugly sobbing from the moment seojoon said "i lost" to the end, this show gave me everything i wanted and everything i didn't know i needed
reading all the jiwoo apologist posts here and on twitter, i'm for sure not alone in seeing myself in him, not defending his actions at all but i get how he got to that point...
guys, being jiwoo is hard, he lost his parents when he was still a teenager, finding cooking to be his only comfort and then had a breakup where his ex wish him unhappiness for the rest of his life. that shit will stick with you and shape you, on top of that being orphan trying to make a living in seoul, i'm sure he experienced a lot of discrimination and unwanted pity. his walls are so high because he needed to protect himself in a world where he is alone, this is not a person who is used to receive love and kindness
despite that jiwoo became a kind person (not a great boyfriend though as both his ex & seojoon will learn the hard way), jiwoo cared and tried to protect seojoon after knowing him only for a few days, jiwoo tried to help hyuanggi out even after he tried to blackmail seojoon, jiwoo thought about his ex when he is with seojoon because he finally know how much he hurted her & felt sorry (how many of us have imagined that the people who hurted us would do this?) the way jiwoo care for yooha as if she is his daughter T_T, jiwoo remain respectful and kind to the village elders even when they talked shit about his dead parents!! and they literally came in to his flop restaurant to call him unlikeable to his face. jiwoo take all that with a straight face, he can handle the hostility and unkindness because this is what he is used to, a part of him thinks that he deserves it and another part of him finds comfort in the familiarity of pain and loneliness...
when the villagers finally showed some kindness towards him, something broke inside jiwoo and i felt that...that was cathartic, seojoon's love alone will never be enough to cure jiwoo of his loneliness, insecurities and fears. and it shouldn't be either, we can love someone but we can never be everything to that person. humans needs a whole support network, that burden should not be carried by one person, that is not fair or healthy
"even though someone is by my side, there are times i need someone else"
when jiwoo said that to his ex, i think both seojoon and many viewers thought he was refering to him wishing that he was back with his ex or thinking that seojoon is not enough. i interpret it as jiwoo understanding that people cannot be fulfilled with a romantic relationship alone, we needs to have some variation of other relationships, with family, friends, colleagues or we need to at least be ok with who we are when we are alone...so yes, seojoon is not enough
"I was alone, whiIe kang seojoon was surrounded by people. I hate feeling this way. Its like without kang seojoon, i dont exist either"
I don't think jiwoo had much of any relationship with anyone aside from seojoon, and he spent so much time in that apartment waiting for seojoon with only his destructive thoughts as company, and when those noises became so loud that it was unbearable, he ran away, just like he did in the first season, this is his MO!
jiwoo loves seojoon so much, but he could not understand why someone like seojoon would want to be with him, when seojoon who is loved and who have so many other happy relationships in his life, and so jiwoo is terrified of the day seojoon will realise this and jiwoo would loose everything again, he can't handle that, it's not that he doesn't trust seojoon, but he have zero trust that he would be enough for seojoon. at the same time jiwoo is desperate to love and be loved by seojoon, he was so happy that it made him vulnerable, that is when his defence mechanism kicked in. jiwoo put up those walls to protect himself not knowing that he is also trapping himself behind those walls
jiwoo spent a year without seojoon, and he was miserable, but it was not for nothing, he gained a support system in yoohaa and her mom, he can now allow himself to depend on people who loves him, and he has his own flop restaturang that he now can work hard to...uhm un-flop. the show ended with jiwoo finally coming to terms with his cowardness and starting to work on breaking down those walls and he was finally ready to let seojoon all the way in
so to all of us who recognise ourselves in jiwoo, its ok to receive and accept love for what it is, none of us are perfect and love is definitely not, hurt and disappointment are inevitable, its ok to take a break when it become too much and then pick yourself up again...learn to forgive ourselves and those who hurt us
credit of all of the wonderful pictures: twitter user @_ouruniverse09
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intimacy [noun]: a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group. an act or expression serving as a token of familiarity, affection.
the way i didn't cry during the to my star episodes but am tearing up now. like goddamn it really is about the fear of being abandoned. the fear of being known and understood, the fear of never being known and understood. the fear of being lonely even when you have someone right next to you. the way some people try so hard to please others and put themselves out there because they don't want to be alone and the way there are people that distance themselves and rip themselves away from other people because of the same exact reason. the way "they're going to leave me eventually so ill leave them first" and "i desperately need to cling onto them so they never leave me" are the same thing coming from the same place just expressed in different ways. it's about connections and misunderstandings. and in the end it's about being human. that's what it's all about isn't it? just being human.
#i admit i cried during the Jiwoo - if it’s hard for you - i’ll come to you line#that dialogue and the cathartic music was perfect and so poignant#but s1 didn’t make me feel as many emotions as s2#while s1 displays the foundations of a relationship - as a couple are just starting to understand each other#s2 peels away at the inner-selves of the characters we hold dear#it peels away at the complexities of relationships that are built on two individuals with their own mental health struggles#and how this can make or break the relationship they have with their significant others - and even other people#at the end of the day - it all comes down to being human#yes human - we all make mistakes and handle things so messily#because life isn’t perfect
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thinking of how, rather than love and affection, jiwoo believes that expessions of hostility, pity and rejection are more likely to be genuine, thats why it would be so difficult for him to chase after seojoon. Jiwoo will soon enough start believing that seojoons is serious about his rejections, and as much as jiwoo likes to draws the lines with people, this also means that he is respectful of other people's lines, again with his tendency to always think of the worst case scenario....thank God for seojoon's unlimited capacity to love and understand, otherwise we would have had a very different ending.
I can't get over how much I like jiwoo as a character, he just feels so real, all of his weaknesses and strengths really hit too close to home.
When watching or reading romance stories i often have trouble buying that the main characters are meant for each other, and often enough there are no reason other than "the script said so". It is a true testimony on how good tms2 is when jiwoo × seojoon just makes sense. The storytelling is great, their characterizations remain consistent to the choices they made, and then we get to follow their growth, there are no doubts in my mind why these two are so attracted to each other and that they are meant to be together.
Hwang de seul for TMS: I am going to make a cute rom com! All of the cute tropes in a fun but realistic tone! A cute lil semi-fantasy of opposite attracts and meeting someone in the middle! cute stuff! Just a tinge of angst, hinted in backstory that I will not spoon feed you <3
Hwang de seul for TMS 2: Love is not enough. Trying your best is not enough. Life is not some fantasy love story. Relationships fail. Real life will burst your little fantasy bubble. Sometimes, people are just incompatible. Are you broken yet? Good. Because sometimes love fails but also love can heal. Here's some saffron <3
deep dive into jiwoo and sungyoon’s conversation in ep 8
my take is that through this convo, jiwoo makes it clear that he believes seojoon is the one person who has always understood him better than anyone else – even himself
it starts with sungyoon saying “kang seojoon made you feel lonely, didn’t he?”. to me this seems like an attempt at showing jiwoo that she can relate to him, that she is in tune with his feelings. then she tells the story of how she she finally came to understand how he must of felt while they were dating.
as soon as she moved to america she starting dated a new guy. she was new to america and wanted someone for comfort, but turns out he became more dependent on her than she was on him. he wanted to spend all his time with her, but she wanted to study and hang out with other people too. she said while in that relationship she thought about jiwoo a lot, and realised that it wasn’t that jiwoo didn’t love her, he just had other interests that took up his time. she said it was only then that she stopped wishing for his unhappiness/misfortune.
then jiwoo apologises for being closed off to her before (not 100% sure on this but i think that’s what he meant)
sungyoon says she wasn’t looking for an apology, then says it’s a good thing that she understands him now. that the amount of people who can understand him is increasing.
this is when we get to see how jiwoo really views seojoon (which is continued in his monologue after this scene) <3
jiwoo says seojoon always knows what jiwoo is thinking or feeling (emphasis on the present tense!!), implying that seojoon doesn’t have to experience things directly to know how someone might feel - that’s what makes him a great actor (proud bf jiwoo 😊)
bit of a punch to the gut for sungyoon. she went there with the intention of showing jiwoo that she can empathise with him in the hopes that he might show some interest towards her, and he turns around and pretty much says she can’t compare to seojoon 😬
but props to my girlie, instead of getting upset or trying to get between jw and sj, she gives jiwoo a metaphorical kick, basically telling him that even the great seojoon won’t be able to understand his true intentions this time - she can’t understand his true intentions and she dated him for five years, so how can he just expect seojoon to know?
i reckon the way she sees it, either a) jiwoo coming back to the village is part of some grand plan get back together with seojoon, i guess by making seojoon realise what he was missing, and that he needs to get his head out of his ass and start giving jiwoo more attention (oh sungyoon sweetie, if only u knew), or b) jiwoo wants to nuke everything so he agreed to appear on the show despite knowing full well the mess it would cause.
dont’ forget, sungyoon doesn’t know why the two broke up, all she knows is that seojoon made jiwoo feel lonely. she also thinks seojoon is someone who only values his own thoughts, making him inconsiderate of others (revealed at the awkward dinner party in ep 6). also, she’s been hearing about jiwoo from yoo ha’s mother, so she must have heard what state jiwoo was in when he moved down from seoul, as well as how he was constantly being outcasted by the villagers. but she also knows very well just how stubborn jiwoo can be, so if he had some sort of plan then he’d see it out to the end or die trying.
after voicing her guesses and receiving no answer, she accepts that jiwoo hasn’t been holding onto any feelings for her this whole time and goes to cry it out with her bestie (and bestie’s daughter)
_________
these are my thoughts on the conversation!! feel free to join the discussion, i’d love to hear you guys’ thoughts 😁
the more we know about sungyoon the more I like her, in this genre where female characters are either two dimensional or non-existent, as soon as they got a better budget, this show added multiple female characters with depth to its story 👏👏👏
which really brings us to the question, why seojoon and not sungyoon?
I don’t think that seojoon necessarily loves jiwoo more than sungyoon does, i mean the poor woman is still hung up on her ex from 9 years ago. They were together for 5 years, there had to be lots of love in that relationship too, and knowing jiwoo, he is not type to fall easily in and out of love, all three seems like the quality over quantity types. As woohyun mentioned in the live commentary, the reason seojoon had the confidence to keep trying is because he must have felt a lot of love during his relationship with jiwoo, sungyoon probably share this confidence as well.
It’s really coming down to timing, right? When jiwoo and sungyoon broke up, they were barely adults, it’s not strange that they could not yet understand each other, they barely understand their own feelings at this point. They went their separate way with jiwoo thinking that he made sungyoon miserable and not understand why, and sungyoon left believing that jiwoo never loved her at all.
And then seojoon came crashing into jiwoos life, seojoon who have been acting since he was a child, dealing with all kinds of people and whose job is to be in other people shoes, seojoon knows that there is more to people than what’s on the surface. Which is how seojoon can sees right through jiwoo, it is a combination of his kind nature and the life experiences that he had. A person who is as closed off as jiwoo is, whether they know it or not, needs someone who understands them, especially when they do not understand themselves, that is why its seojoon.
9 years later, jiwoo & sungyoon are sitting across from each other again, both having had enough life experiences to understand how someone can feel loneliness in a relationship and that even if someone does not express love in the way we expected them to, it does not mean that they do not love us. But the timing is just not right, jiwoo’s love is already completely occupied by seojoon, and so once again sungyoon had to let go…
I wonder if she had already decided to give up when she saw jiwoo and seojoon outside the restaurant? her whole demeanor in this scene seems more relaxed, like there is no more nervousness caused by expectation? unlike their previous conversations, here sungyoon seems more like the version of herself with dakyung. This is her finding closure, being able to leave jiwoo with well wishes this time around, such great showcase of her growth after all this time.
But jesus, what is jiwoos hold on these two? Wasn’t hyunggi also in love with him? Jiwoo please share you dating tips…😂
i wanted to fix some incorrect subs i’ve seen being used on here but my translating skills aren’t perfect so i’m gonna put the korean as well and better translators than me please feel free to correct me 👍
1. 볼살 봐봐
i’ve seen it translated as “you’re blushing” but he actually said check out those chubby cheeks ㅎㅎ
2. 진짜 니 앞에선… 자존심을 세우고 싶어도 그게 안 된다
this one is a bit tricky but i think i got the general idea, feel free to correct me tho!
3. 니가 애기냐? 말도 못 하고 엉엉 울기 노하고(?), 어후
han jiwoo = baby
(i can’t tell what seojoon says after 엉엉 울기 but i don’t think whatever it is changes the meaning that much)
also his tone very much gives mother vibes 😊 affectionate teasing is my love language so this scene gives me life
4. - 갈 수 있겠지?
- 앟 그럼 그럼
- 그… 원래 갑자기 큰 차를 몰면 어려워 ㅋㅋ … 아, 그때 재규어는 다친 데 없지?
this scene made me howl hahahaaaaa i didn’t think seojoon would be the type to covet his things but i guess a spenny car like a jaguar is an exception lol (he talks like it’s a person, literally translated it’s more like “the jaguar isn’t hurt anywhere, is it?” lolol)
also jiwoo 🤝 me = being nervous drivers
_____
once again, i am not trained in translation!!! i do very much enjoy analysing language and am anti word-for-word, literal translating so if you want to discuss please send me a message! ❤
I was going crazy running back and forth between gaga and Viki trying to follow the conversations! I will never forgive gaga for not translating seojoon calling jiwoo “baby”, however gaga did a better job when it come to this scene,
“are you are threatening me?”
“no, i’m begging you”
jiwoo used a term that translate to asking for a favor or making a request, I think? But the word “begging” suits the context of this scene much better, and the viewer felt more impact by it.
Mostly it’s just sad how these streaming platform are still not providing better subtitles (this also applies to Netflix and other major platforms), it really takes away the effort of the creators like Hwang daseul, she and her team put so much attention to the details to create more nuances to the story, I can’t imagine that this is how the show is meant to be viewed.
I haven’t seen Viki subs but I agree that “I’m begging you” is a good translation! He says “부탁이야” - the word 부탁 on its own translates to request or favour but the phrase he uses is a fixed expression which does mean “I’m begging you” 🥲 It really gets across just how desperate and sincere jiwoo is in that scene. It shows he really is tired of fruitlessly ruining away and finally wants to give up on his life of being alone 🥹
Streaming platforms do tend to be a bit hit and miss with subs and I blame the sites for forcing teams to work on such tight schedules! Usually it takes watching things a few times and a deep understanding of the context to get those premium subs 😗👌
Hopefully I’ll be able to add some more to this post soon! There are a few scenes I still have in mind… Also if there are any scenes that anyone wants explaining/analysing let me know 🌟
Yes! Translation is a form of art, I also wish these platforms would invest more and start paying translators a decent salary. It's really hard to hate on Viki subs when it's actually fansubber donating their time, while the company is making a profit 😭
There are actually two scenes that I would love to have your take on,
1, the whole conversation between jiwoo and sungyoon, when she said that jiwoo came to the village only to find his way to seojoon. I think that there are probably a lot said between the lines here, but the subtitles are really not helping much
2, the lines that seojoon said right before telling jiwoo about his childhood trauma. Sejoon mentioned that he was afraid to share his scars with jiwoo because he was scare that he wouldn't be able to let him go? I thought that it was slightly contradicting his earlier comment about him thinking that he would be with jiwoo forever (prior to the breakup)
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i wanted to fix some incorrect subs i’ve seen being used on here but my translating skills aren’t perfect so i’m gonna put the korean as well and better translators than me please feel free to correct me 👍
1. 볼살 봐봐
i’ve seen it translated as “you’re blushing” but he actually said check out those chubby cheeks ㅎㅎ
2. 진짜 니 앞에선… 자존심을 세우고 싶어도 그게 안 된다
this one is a bit tricky but i think i got the general idea, feel free to correct me tho!
3. 니가 애기냐? 말도 못 하고 엉엉 울기 노하고(?), 어후
han jiwoo = baby
(i can’t tell what seojoon says after 엉엉 울기 but i don’t think whatever it is changes the meaning that much)
also his tone very much gives mother vibes 😊 affectionate teasing is my love language so this scene gives me life
4. - 갈 수 있겠지?
- 앟 그럼 그럼
- 그… 원래 갑자기 큰 차를 몰면 어려워 ㅋㅋ … 아, 그때 재규어는 다친 데 없지?
this scene made me howl hahahaaaaa i didn’t think seojoon would be the type to covet his things but i guess a spenny car like a jaguar is an exception lol (he talks like it’s a person, literally translated it’s more like “the jaguar isn’t hurt anywhere, is it?” lolol)
also jiwoo 🤝 me = being nervous drivers
_____
once again, i am not trained in translation!!! i do very much enjoy analysing language and am anti word-for-word, literal translating so if you want to discuss please send me a message! ❤
I was going crazy running back and forth between gaga and Viki trying to follow the conversations! I will never forgive gaga for not translating seojoon calling jiwoo “baby”, however gaga did a better job when it come to this scene,
“are you are threatening me?”
“no, i’m begging you”
jiwoo used a term that translate to asking for a favor or making a request, I think? But the word “begging” suits the context of this scene much better, and the viewer felt more impact by it.
Mostly it’s just sad how these streaming platform are still not providing better subtitles (this also applies to Netflix and other major platforms), it really takes away the effort of the creators like Hwang daseul, she and her team put so much attention to the details to create more nuances to the story, I can’t imagine that this is how the show is meant to be viewed.
Kim kangmin just released a skit? on the Mystic Actors YT account, its basically kangmin acting as a manager interviewing jiwoo for a job, they even created jiwoos resume and turns out,
Jiwoo was born in 2000
and seojoon was born in 1995
and the timeline of to my star,
2027 - tms1, first meeting
2028 - living together
2029 - breakup year
2030 - tms2, getting back together (and staying together until season 3 forever)
So in the tms universe, jiwoo have not met seojoon yet and because he is jiwoo he is aspiring to live well by himself atm, boy, he won't know what hit him in a few years. His motto though hahahahaha....
Hwang daseul already did the impossible, a second season that was better than the first, for those who have enjoyed this show (i keep saying the word enjoy as if i have not just spent days crying actual tears over this show) and her other works, i think we are all curious to see what she would do with a third season
So here are things i wish to see in a season 3:
more of seojoons flaws, sometimes seojoon feels too good to be true, even his shortcomings are lovable, seojoon loves too hard and forgives too easily. i would like to seojoon being a bit annoying, what does it looks like when he is being overly sensitive?
I want see more of jiwoos effort to communicate and show his feelings
them coming out, someone actually saying the word gay or bisexual, this is really difficult expecially in s.koreas entertainment industry, but there is no one i would trust to take on this topic other than director hwang
more on seojoons relationship with his parents, have seojoon shared with jiwoo the full story about his parents? what would happen when they find out about sejiwoos relationship?
them going to therapy
i would really love to see seojoon and jiwoo as parents, i feel like that would be healing for me T_T
more of yooha and her mom
Pilhyun, the MVP of this show, getting his happy ending, i’m so looking forward to what he would wear in the next season, imagine his summer fashion!!
watching this show as it was airing and seeing all the “hate” towards jiwoo was a revelation, a lot of viewers thought that seojoon forgave jiwoo too easily, and i get that, jiwoo was so harsh on him, seriously who ghostes their bf with a f’cking post-it? on their birthday?! and if i was seojoons friend i would scream at jiwoo til his ears bleed.
but seojoon loves and seojoon forgives, that is who he is and that how he has been since the beginning. when his actor friend tried to put the blame on him for the fight, he didn’t say anything to anyone, not even pilhyun and homin, he waited it out believing that his friend would come clean, not many people would do that. but seojoon is not a pushover, he knows his limits and he will let go when he is ready.
when it comes to jiwoo, seojoon is not blind to his shortcomings, he likes him despite those, because to seojoon (who knows jiwoo better than any of us) jiwoo is not defined by his misstakes.
“you hide away as if you are the only sad person in this world. you don’t think about facing the problem and solving it. you have unnecessary pride and you never tell people your real feelings, making people go crazy!”
“but still, i’m saying i like you”
seojoon only gave up when he was convinced that jiwoo wanted to be with his ex, and that he is standing in the way of jiwoos happiness, as long as jiwoo loves him he would have continue to pursue him, again this man loves jiwoo more than jiwoo loves himself
for those who thinks that seojoon deserve better, i also get that, “jiwoo hurt seojoon this much so seojoon should hurts him just as much before they can get back together”...i used to believed that input and output of love should be equal in a relationship, but how do you keep score when one person is swimming and the other is playing badminton? seojoon and jiwoo are very different people and they have different love languages, and so when we say for better or worst, this is jiwoo at his worst, this is where seojoon get to decide if their relationship could survive this, and because this is seojoon and he knows how hard those steps jiwoo took were, he choose to love and forgive
some of my favourites lines are these,
“if you keep pushing me away, i can’t continue to chase after you like you did for me”
“is that a threat?”
“no, i’m begging you”
this perfectly showed us how different these two are and how their traumas and history shape who they are as people today, jiwoo doesn’t love seojoon any less than seojoon loves him, but sometimes we messed up and we hurt the people who loves us the most. and this is when we need those people to say “its ok, when is hard i will go to you” and i will love you and i will fight for us
i want bring up one last thing, should they take a break to get some therapy before getting back together? uhm, yes to therapy always, but no on the separation, i dont believe in the idea that we have to be healed and complete before we are allowed to be in a relationships, who is to say that we can be 100% healed from our traumas? aren’t we just learning to live with it and not let it get the better of us as we go? to love and be loved is a big part of our journey to heal, you don’t have to struggle all by yourself untill you are fit to be loved.
life is short, if you have found your forever person, don’t let them go. as much as we should cut out toxic people from our lives, we should hold on to the people that makes us happy. i dont know if those among us who identify with jiwoo will ever find their own seojoon, god i hope we do, but i think that if we all just learn from seojoon to love and forgive more we would be one step closer to our own happiness.
credit of the wonderful pictures: twitter user @_ouruniverse09
How do I describe my appreciation for a show, marketed as a feminist drama, that actually turned out to be a pretty darned good feminist drama? Gone are the days in which I feared such empty promises of compelling female characters, only to be cursed with some of the most obnoxious personalities ever known to womankind. Because now that I know C-dramas are capable of writing women, no one has an excuse to write any more that garbage with a “feminist” label slapped on it. I’m sure many can understand my pain.
Today, I’m officially recommending this drama called Delicious Romance (爱很美味), which just finished airing and ended with as much flourish as it began. And I’m recommending it loudly, because it is extremely, extremely good.
What is it?
A rather short (20-episode) drama centered around three 30-year-old women as they try to find their way through personal struggles in romance, the workplace, and life in general. One is an intelligent and ambitious vice president at her job, another is a naive (note: not stupid) and sweet housewife, and the third is a quirky lady who’s also the picturesque 剩女 – or, “leftover woman.”
Very down-to-earth comedy with its fair share of fun moments. Romance is involved, but the focus is always on the female leads and their growth during their transition into their 30s.
Part of the reason why people outside of China are not aware of this show is because Tencent has horrible priorities has not made a move to subtitle it. But fear not, for I am currently subbing it here; i.e., you now no longer have any excuses to not watch it.
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