In the mind of

It’s been about a week now since you’ve gotten the closure you thought you needed. Since that its been a roller coaster, more good days, but sometimes really bad ones. Last night you had a dream about her, nothing bad. No words exchanged, no anger, nothing. You just saw her in your dream, but when you looked at her you didn’t recognize the girl in front of you, like somehow she looked slightly different but you knew it was her. It’s obvious you still miss her. Your subconscious mind is trying to help you move on, but your heart can’t help  but to stay stuck. You still miss her that’s inevitable. Keep fighting for the good days. You are strong Julian.

So you finally got the closer you needed. It’s time to move on. I know you are hurting right now, and that’s okay. Feel the hurt but don’t allow it to consume you. You have a long road ahead, keep fighting. A good friend once said, there will be good days, and there will be bad days. There will be days when it hurts you less, and there will be days where it hurts a bit more. You are only human Julian, its okay to feel. Feel everything, because in those moments, you gave a piece of yourself to someone and you deserve to feel for those pieces of your heart that you gave. 

You just had a break down today. You took a deep breath and all of a sudden tears came running down your eyes. Julian, you are okay. It’s okay to cry. Let these tears release this pint up emotions you have bottled up. You are going to get through this, and you are going to come out stronger because of it. If she doesn’t love you for you, then YOU need to love you, for YOU. Keep your head up, keep fighting. One day after the next.

I’m starting to feel a lot better after implementing these routines in my life. I still certainly miss you, but I can go on my days a bit easier not thinking about you constantly. I still struggle to sleep at night, no matter how much energy I try to burn in the day. Is this the new me? sleepless? tired but can’t sleep? I wish we could talk like we use too, but why am I begging for these simple pleasures..

#daily #quarantinevibes