i am become derek

i am happy because i'm busy but dying because i'm stressed but that's my groove zone

I don't want there to be all these diamonds buried under an ever growing mountain of other diamonds

I'm not being a sad boy emanuel, I'm being a dream boy

I wanna make them put their money where our mouths are

bought chicken from whole foods on sale for $3.99 a pound! boneless breasts!!! also gavin newsom just RTed me so i guess fuck it, i'm basic now

i am a cyberwizard when it comes to slick slang

“i’ll bang a reggie on that pop pop”

i can’t wait to go to bolivia to give a deposition on how we did not kidnap someone

I'm not just saying that because I'm a proud content father

If you were to ask me where I am right now, I would respond that I do not know

i've been buying size 12 shoes my whole life out of a fear that my feet will grow

we should investigate the moon more

counterpoint: yolo

i don't currently have working eyeballs all of these photos look like blood

i am orbiting a floating rock of annoyance at the moment

i think the UN and I disagree on what “business attire” is business attire for me is a sleeveless coors light shirt