I Am A Mom and Pop

I often use to think that when you really made it somewhere, you were making a certain amount of money, driving a certain car and had the picture perfect family. Sounds about right doesn't it? That was me about 10 years ago...

I had a very well paying job in NYC, a wife and two kids. I loved my family but I started to fall into that trap of work was way more important than anything else. I wasn't crazy about my job but I loved the paycheck I brought home and the nice perks that came with it. I began to travel more and got to hang out with some big name people, go to big parties and stay in hotels that you could literally live in.

See the problem is that I had everything I wanted but then when it became boring I wanted more. It happens when you least expect it and even when you have everything you could ever want right at your hand. I started calling the family less on the road, I enjoyed my time being gone and on my own time but would tell them how much I missed them and play along. It wasn't fair to them at all but my head was somewhere else and with someone else. It's amazing how you can live two different lives and get away with so much or at least that's what I thought...

About 2 years later my wife found out about me cheating and from there everything went downhill. My company laid me off and I had nothing. I couldn't find work and knew that I needed to get out of NYC and clear my head somehow. I decided to drive out to TX to visit a family member out there. It was that road trip that changed my life forever. I stopped in a small town Alabama to grab a bite to eat and stretch my legs. I sat there in a small diner and after I ordered my food an older man came over and sat at the table with me. Before I could say a word he just looked at me and said, "Son, whatever it is you've done it can get better." Still confused from him sitting down right beside me, the only thing I could say is, "how did you know..." and his reply was that it was written all over my face as soon as I walked through that door.

I shared what all had happened in the past years and he let me talk with a quiet listening ear. He didn't say anything else since the start except this, "Sometimes we're broken down because we are too stubborn to see we were on the wrong path. It's what you do with that brokenness that matters, not what you've done in the past."

He got up from the table and walked away before I could even say thank you. I finished my food and as I was paying I asked about the old man and they told me they had not seen anyone that looked like that come through the store that day. I started to wonder if I was crazy but I know it was completely real as could be. There was even a warmth as he sat there at the table but now makes me wonder if it were yes exactly what you're thinking, an angel.

Whoever he was, he changed my life and I am forever grateful. I went out to TX and started working with my cousin at his small family business and it's been the best thing I've ever done. I've grown closer to my ex-wife and kids even more than I was when I was married. The little things make me happy and money I realize now can suck you in without you ever even realizing it.

To those who want to break away, do it now before you cause more damage to yourself and your family. Trust me, it's not worth it but I had to learn the hard way because I was too stubborn to see the writing on the wall. To all the small businesses out there, keep working hard and don't ever lose sight of why you really started doing what you love - because it makes you happy and not about the money.

Ashley started working for the family business after college despite always saying she would never jump on the bandwagon. She shares the struggles, challenges and knowledge that comes with working with family in business. She also sheds light on what it's like being the "kid" in the family business and how dynamics can change over time.

Ashley opens up about how a family tragedy can trickle over into your business and how you can overcome it.

Robert has been a business owner for over 30 years and family business has been a part of his life for as long as he can remember. He's taught college classes, interviewed business owners across the country for Business Beware, help people start their own business while running his own but nothing could prepare him for what happened on July 21, 2012.

Robert opens up about a recent tragedy that shook their family to the core and that affected their family business at the same time. He shares what he's learned and how you can get through the storm while also learning to lean on those around you even in your business. Robert also shares his take on how work ethic has changed over the years and how pride can truly make everything come tumbling down in the end.

We're excited about this new year around the corner and sharing where the direction for I Am a Mom and Pop is headed.

People have asked where we've been and we are ready to talk about about it for the first time. This gives you a quick glimpse into new interviews and stories to come here at the site starting January 2014.

Have a story or video to share?

I've had a small bookstore for over 30 years in our family. My grandmother started it because she loved to read and wanted to share her love for books with others. 

About 3 years ago a larger chain bookstore (go ahead and guess) moved right across the street from us. They approached me asking if they could buy me out because they wanted my space since it had the best view from the street. I politely told them no and that I look forward to a little competition. 

It may seem like the movie "You've Got Mail," but sadly there is no love story to share with you except the fact that you can win even when you're small.

About a year ago I had a frequent customer come in and tell me that the bookstore was spreading false rumors about our store and even employees. It was after I had invited some of their employees over to visit when in all truth I was trying to be nice. 

What a terrible feeling to know that you were the one trying to be nice and get a slap in the face with false rumors. I never fought back because to me it wasn't worth it. My grandmother always said to "let those who cause the problems create their own mess for themselves - they don't need the help to do so."

Turns out that manager at that store that was embezzling inside his own store. Ironic right? The very person that was causing issues with my business was creating his own mess within his company. Sometimes people cause a mess with others to cover up their own mistakes. 

Turns out grandmother was right and through hard work you can succeed despite being the little business that could. My advice to you is to remain strong and don't fall into the trap of sacrificing your integrity just because others want to bring you down. Don't let all the hard work you put into something be taken away by someone's stupidity whether it's in life or business. 

Keep pursuing you what you love,

If you watch the news or at least pay attention to what's going on around you, then you see all of the issues surrounding "In God We Trust."

Where do you stand?

We're looking for you to share your thoughts on how you feel about this being removed from different areas in our country. Feel free to send a video, story or even a photo. Send it to iamamomandpop(at)gmail.com 

When the small business owner gives you their word, they give you their WORD.

When someone doesn't show up for work, they take on the extra work themselves without complaining because they know it needs to be done. 

When they say "put food on the table" they mean to provide for their family not feed those who aren't willing to work.

They are willing to get dirty to help a fellow business owner even if it means their own business could suffer for a few days.

My dad and Grandpa started our business in 1972. We build custom cabinetry. Now into our 41st year I am taking over the business and we have changed the name from Webers Cabinets to Weber Company because we are now not only building cabinets but custom cutting boards too! 

Taking over the family business (as a girl) is somewhat challenging because I am working in a male dominated profession.  Since my grandpa passed away in 2008 our business has gone through some challenges with the recession lasting over the last 7 years.  My dad (Mark), has so much experience in business (over 40 years since he started), and yet he could not explain or imagine the depth of this recession.  I have learned from him that you must change with the times and put God first.  So we pray together every morning, and we started making cutting boards because cabinet jobs were smaller and less.  This way we have reinvented ourselves making new products to sell.  My mom (Jeanette), helps out by giving great ideas on different styles of cutting boards we can make. She really wanted a board made in the shape of a heart,  and it is one of our customer favorites! 

- April Morse 

America is quickly fading away. I remember the days where people worked hard to make a living. When the day was settling down, you could look out as the sun set and know that today was a good day. Now we hand out free things left and right while also living way above our means. I know we can't go backwards but I hope that we hold onto the old days of where everyone worked hard for what they had for as long as we can.

That's my HOPE. 

I grew up in a wealthy home as a kid. My dad was obsessed with making money, his car and living "the good life" in front of everyone around him. It affected me because I thought that was how things were because it's all that I knew. There were so many times that as a kid that I wished he would take the time to go camping with me or have an adventure together instead of always working. 

My mom was so different from my father. She didn't need much, she was humble and loved her kids with all of her heart. I was always closer to mom growing up because when she spent time with you, she wanted to be there in that moment with you rather than feeling like "it had to be done." 

My dad wanted my brothers and I to take after him and become a doctor or work somewhere in the medical field. The sad part was that he did most of it because of the lifestyle and not to help actual patients. I never understood that even until this day. In college my dad came to visit me and while sitting at lunch he told me that he was leaving my mom. As I sat there in disbelief all I could say is, "Why?" And he replied with, "I've never really been true to your mother for years and now it's time for me to move on with my life." 

Some of you may have your mouths dropped right now or some may be thinking "I can totally relate to you right now." That was such a blow to me in that moment. I had always wondered how the two of them fit together but now it all made sense. Mom loved being a mom but was in some ways trapped but had a good life being taken care of...

In that moment, I went back to my dorm room and called the administration office to let them know I was no longer attending medical school. Sure, it may have been a quick call but as I saw my father make the choices he did, I knew I did not want to go anywhere near that path he was going down. Not in any way am I bashing the medical field, this was solely a decision due to what I grew up with.

I was 20 and had dropped out of college not knowing what the heck I was going to do. There's a pier that I always use to go to right off the North Carolina shore. I was sitting there one afternoon just trying to do a little thinking about what to do with my life when I noticed this homeless guy sitting there on the beach. He turned around and looked right at me. You could feel his eyes just staring into your soul too. I looked away and when I looked back he was already making his way up to me. Of course I had a thought that he was going to come attack me or ask me for money which I didn't have. He came and sat right beside me. He didn't say anything for a few minutes and as I tried to break the awkwardness he says, "Shhh, just listen." We sat there for another few minutes and then he asked me, "What are you searching for son?" 

Me: "I have no idea what direction to take with my life. What I've known or grown up with is now just a blur." 

Man: "Don't look at bad things that happen in your life as being punished, look at them as if your next chapter is about to be written. I had everything you could ever want or that money could buy about a year ago. I lost my job, my house, friends (that weren't real friends) and what others might call the 'good life.'

Me: "You lost it all? How are you making it now without anything?"

Man: "Ah, you see that's just it...I didn't really need a thing, I needed a new perspective. Too many feel like they have to have this perfect life when really there is no perfect life even though people like to pretend on facebook. Yes, I know what facebook is kid. Now that I don't live the fast life I've learned to slow down and notice things around me, even people just like you." 

Me: "So you want to stay this way or do you have an idea of what you want to do from here?"

Man: "You see that for sale sign over there hanging in that beach front store? I would love to open a restaurant right there where people can walk to and from the beach while enjoying some good southern food. That's what I would do at least." 

Me: "That actually sounds like a great plan. I have always wanted to own my own business but never shared that with my dad because he wouldn't get it. He tended to look down on many small business owners."

Man: "Well then what are you waiting for? Life is short kid to spend it doing things that you hate or wasting it away just away a ton of money. You don't have to have all the answers, you just have to have faith."

Me: "You're right. I've just never had anyone tell me that. I've always been given everything rather than working for something and I feel like that's what I've been missing. This is always what I wished my dad would have done with me, just sit and listen to me. How did you know that I was searching for something?"

Man: "It's called slowing down and it's what I do."

As the man stood up, the sun hit his face just at the perfect moment that literally almost blinded me where I had to turn and look away. I stood up and he stuck out his hand to me while saying, "Go find what makes you happy, don't be afraid but also never let money consume you that it blinds what you're here to do." 

He walked away and back down to the beach. As I started to walk away, I turned back to see if he was still down there and he was gone. Yes, gone. 

Fast forward 5 years later...

I now own a surf shop on the beach and also teach disabled kids how to surf. I've never been happier. A few months after I spoke to the man on the beach, I talked with my mom about what I wanted to do and she said to me, "I knew you would find your way and do something amazing with your life." She had put away money over time in hopes that my brothers and I would break out of the family mold that my dad built around us. She helped me fund the beginning stages of my surf shop and helped me in every aspect possible to make it one amazing business. Who knew that mom was such a business savvy person?

I went back to the beach a few months later to try and find that man I had spoken to but he was nowhere to be found. I asked a local cop if he had seen him around but he said to me, "Son, I've been working this area for 10 years and never seen the man you're describing to me." 

I had to really think about it and wondered if it was a dream or something but I know it wasn't a dream at all. It was real. Maybe he was an angel, I wouldn't doubt it at all. Whatever he was, I owed him a big thank you for taking the time to listen and making me realize it's ok to slow down and pay attention. 

Here's to doing what you love and a life worth living. 

There use to be a time where a handshake was "enough" to do business. 

I saw this on Huffington Post and this really puts things in perspective. I've been in business for 10 years and the last 5 years have been a fast track for technology/social media. I was talking to a friend the other day and they asked what our twitter handle was, our instagram account, facebook fan page etc. 

Let me be clear, I am up to date with things but I choose not to use the social media stuff because it takes up way too much of my time and I partly think it's a joke. I'm sure your mouth is dropping right now and judging me for not "keeping up with the times" BUT my friend, that is where you are wrong. My father ran a business for over 40 years on a handshake, honesty and face to face interaction with customers. He instilled these values in me with my own business that are the core of what businesses today are missing out on. 

I'm 33 and most think that I'm crazy for not using social media for my business or even personally but what can I say, I don't like to follow the crowd. I've had more people tell me that they love the fact that we provide the "old school" way of customer service rather than only responding by email, tweets or even automated phone messages. 

Why am I telling you this? Because, you need to know that it's okay to run your business the way YOU want to run it. Don't get caught up in the nonsense that society tells you run with and that it's the only way that your business will succeed. The business depends on you and your hard work, not how many tweets you send out a day. 

The old school way is not out of style...

When I was 8, I can remember sitting there in my grandmothers kitchen watching her bake all afternoon. She made these cookies that were her specialty and what she called, "love patties." They were a chocolate cookie with chocolate chips with a hint of mint in them. They would melt in your mouth when they first came out of the oven.

This was the first time I realized that baking was going to become a huge part of my life...

Fast forward 20 years later and I now own a small bakery in the heart of downtown Nashville. When I first opened my store 4 years ago, I didn't have the money to start. I weighed all of my options and almost had to give up this dream that I had for so long until grandma Georgia came over to my apartment and laid a small envelope on my table. It was the startup money that I needed to make my dream a reality. As tears started to roll down my face, I turned to her and said, "I can't take this from you!" 

She says to me, "You can and you will. My dream is to see you make your dream happen and that's what would ultimately make me happy."

3 months later, I opened my store and it has been one amazing journey. It has not been easy by any means and there are even days I just want to throw in the towel. But I have built something based on something and someone that I love dearly which is the driving force behind what I do. Grandma Georgia passed away a year ago but I feel like she is with me everyday in that kitchen. 

I was about to give up on my dreams simply because the funds weren't there and yes that is a very important thing when it comes to STARTING a business. But if you're persistent then things will happen like they are suppose to and who knows you may have someone who believes in you to help make your dream come true. 

Never stop believing in the possibility that things CAN happen. 

Love from Nashville,

Can't

Excuse

Greed

Impossible