🌒🌕🌘

Today was my third day off my meds (cause I ran out of them) and while I was taking a shower it started to hit me harder. I have cried for her, obviously. But, realizing that my sister will never get me the way my mom did hurts. And it's okay, she shouldn't have to. I just wish she didn't judge me or my fucked up brain. Because not only I have to deal with depression but also ADD and being part of the tism spectrum. And today I need my mom. I need her arms around me telling me it's going to be okay. That I will make it. That she's proud of me. I need to see her smile. I need my mom.

I never liked living and now it's unbearable. She was my anchor. She kept me on my feet on this earth and now...since July 2025...I don't know why I'm still alive. I don't like it.