I am

The tendency to delve into the intellectual understandings and logical reasoning is one that must be transcended at all costs— trying to conceptualize that which is above concepts is utter deception.

Stop trying to attain an enlightenment, or a superior knowledge, truly there’s absolutely nothing that you lack right now, I do not know more than you.

after noticing one is going through some kind of suffering (like anxiety or frustration), the common reactions are to try to resolve it right away or to ignore it as much as possible. these two approaches don't take you anywhere in terms of really freeing yourself from suffering. when trying to resolve something, we are perpetuating our experience with that feeling. when trying to ignore it, we indirectly feed that feeling because we are still trapped in the idea that there is a problem that is being ignored.

so, how does one break free from suffering? by recognizing that there is no suffering in the first place. no matter how real it seems to be, it is just another idea that arises in consciousness and that has no meaning of its own. it is the mind that interprets this idea as something bad and painful. nothing has a fixed meaning, so when the mind goes “this is bad, this is beautiful, this is difficult”, remember there is nothing that sustains these interpretations as true, besides your identification with the mind. they don’t mean nothing at all.

essentially, everything is the same thing. everything is you. beneath the mental labels, everything will always be fine.

you can live in the illusion of having gone through traumas and bad experiences, but those are just stories that you've repeated so much to yourself that you've forgotten they're just stories. nothing binds you to any story because you have no past and no future, you simply are.

this does not mean that we should repress the feelings and thoughts that arise, but rather see them for what they truly are: just ideas with no meaning, that cannot disturb oneness in any way, and that are not a threat. you are always safe because you are untouchable. there is nothing that can hurt you or make you suffer, only the illusion of suffering. this “i”that seems to suffer doesn’t exist.

in “practice,” the thoughts and feelings that seem negative will arise, but they are transitory. observe them without analyzing or engaging with their supposed meanings, let them come and go without your attention and realize that the angst was never yours to feel.

when you believe that there is a reason to suffer or that suffering is inevitable in a situation, you are letting yourself be opressed by a unreal narrative that has no power and no truth in it. there are no reasons to believe that a situation is bad because there is actually nothing happening at all.

remain present in the now and you will see that there is nothing wrong with this present moment. you are here, and that is enough reason for everything to be fine.

to free yourself from suffering, see that it doesn’t exist. see that there’s no i here, only this, only awareness.

I have a question that’s been really bothering me. If I decided, for example, to be an arts student tomorrow, how does the prior knowledge of the past classes or the exam dates come up? I’m not sure if I explain myself.

The experience is like a play, no? How do the details of this play display? Like now, looking at my phone with all my saved pics in my gallery or all the apps I have, how does it display? Just because?

Or I shouldn’t bother myself with these questions as they’re unnecessary and just focus on within? Thank you!

You don't have to concern yourself with the how, because there is none. Every conclusion you would reach would just be another story, and every question would eventually lead you to silence.

There's a quote, I don't remember who said it but it says "The point of questioning is not to arrive at the answer, but to dissolve the question/questioner", and I think that is a lovely pointer.

So why do I feel like that some people say it in a way that you close your eyes and imagine and that’s it, you've experienced what you want and if you open your eyes and everything's the same, it's okay because you've already experienced what you wanted? :/

Why would you need to seek direct experience? It’s here and it’s now that’s the whole point of it, I’m telling you to come back to what you have never left, you don’t ‘seek’ direct experience you just BE , that’s directly experiencing the now, here, the IS.

There’s s nothing to seek because seeking takes away the fact that you’re directly experiencing, you’re taking away direct experience and making it seeking which is a different experience

It doesnt take any effort, the effort is a different experience you’re supposed to go back the natural state you’re not doing anything unless you start to ideate that you’re doing something

You have to stop making it a task just relax and be as you are righy now, its the easiest thing in the world

Without taking any stories into account, stop taking effort, seeking, hard , difficult, confusing. Stop taking these narratives and relax in the nothing that is revealed

Stop resisting and accept all your apparent circumstances as they are. Stop trying to control the illusion. 

F🍄ck off

When you really don't care about your life, you'll notice how it miraculously becomes easier. The circumstances that hurt you disappear. You can breathe deeply. You feel free. 

And at that moment, you really understand what reality is and who you are. 

You are deeply aware of this mechanism. 

You stop resisting, and the resistance disappears. 

Try it, it's really simple.

Collapse of duality!

Giving up / not caring / letting go is the release of the mind, a surrender to what is

Doing so eliminates the veil of separation - your perspective is subsequently opened and limitations are transcended, and you discover it's just you

Subsequently what you've been striving for seems to magically fall into place, but it's always been there! Just by then you no longer feel an illusory distance

im sorry but this is a natural curiosity as i came from an loa background..

i know that I'm the Witness, so it also confuses me as to how i "choose and decide" anything. wouldn't the result be whatever "this" brings up?

ur answers have been helpful!

And aren’t you “this” already? There’s no separate human at the whim of some infinite entity and their grand destiny. This isn’t anything specific or conceptually definitive, just being or nothing or THAT. That’s all we’re pointing to.

So it’s not a matter of how or who is deciding. It’s just what is. So yes, what is unfolds perfectly already. Including whatever seems like choices or desires from an individual mind.

for example, a problem: i know it will arise again, and I'm still living this life yk, so despite knowing it as unreal. it doesn't make a difference to me because the thing will continue? So if I were to forget about it, I would worry because of the "future". when I try to " ", it feels peaceful, but very temporary. and then life bites me. its only for a moment before i return. idk how to make it be something lasting. (not to mean be " " all the time, i just mean to realize the unrealness of things, therefore acting as " ".)

I don't quite get it, because at the core of it I can't think of it as unreal, and that it's something not actively affecting me. I am living in the dream, it still feels like that?

I hope you understand what I'm trying to get at. i truly appreciate your patient replies. know that you are very much loved. 🩷

The issue with this entire ask is that you are still very rooted in this idea that you are a limited helpless human being when we have established that the only identity here is the Self; the Knowing

Problems are seeming to arise but your only true interaction or relation with these ‘problems’ is that you Know it, it seemingly appears within Awareness

You could never be the one suffering because it’s just not possible, you are only ever the Knower— the Knower of whatever profound complex or complicated situation that appears to be , you won’t ever be inside the scene because the scene only IS because you Know it.

All the definitions and conclusions ‘you’ are deriving about what the case is are unrelated baseless ideas that are free to be expressed so long as the light of Awareness feeds that existence

I want you to be able to have this as a deep understanding that You are not the doer or the victim but the unspeakable undefinable presence in all that seems real

This is something very obvious and blatant to you that you have overlooked it your entire life. When the gurus say to enquire into your true identity ; Awareness, when they say to notice the Self, when they say to leave the mind alone they say so because they know how paramount a direct experience of what we are pointing to is and not merely the intellectual understanding of the words we say

You have to be willing to Know Self for exactly what it is and have that pure knowledge be with you in all you seem to do

I don’t know I’m just struggling and stuck in a rut of watching and over consuming content about non duality I’m also on the shifting side and manifestation side of tumblr and they give me hope but then I’m reminded that it’s not real and just delusion so I’m back to feeling terrible

diva please tell me what I can do to make these feelings go I just want peace

thank you for replying

First of all, please breathe and accept that you don’t know anything about how “realization” is supposed to look, the more you keep conceptualizing an experience the more you’ll be stuck trying to attain it perfectly by rejecting everything you think it is not

I understand trying to read and watch more but understand that there is nothing out there that will suddenly make all of this ‘click’ for you, that entirely depends on your willingness to remove your loyal attention on whats out there and place it on whats undeniably here. YourSelf

Notice Awareness, notice this unchanging knowing in the background of experience. THAT is the nature of True Being not the ideas of who you are and what you want, the fact that that you know of something that KNOWS of your circumstances means that what you really are is beyond those circumstances, identifications and scenarios

You must be able to return devotedly to Being the exact same way you return to suffering.

The suffering is nothing more than an appearing idea, you do not have to account for it or claim it as your own, perfection is the only thing that exists , joy and bliss become tainted when we start giving into the stories of lack and suffering when these things hold absolutely no truth

They hold absolutely no truth

Where is the lack and suffering outside the ideas of it?

Nowhere because lack and suffering are ONLY ideas and by default are not concrete

So make the decision now, this will not dawn on you when the time is right, no you must choose now to see Actuality

don’t just read, it’ll never help, ponder, take away what you resonate, leave the rest.

"i intellectually understand but..."

Who's thinking this? Who's trying to understand? This ego!

This ego is the creation of THAT too. Ego is an Illusion too. Soo why try to make something unreal understand THAT.

In the end all this knowledge we are gathering... Everything that ego knows.... it's all useless.

You'll only KNOW THAT by experiencing THAT.

Questioner: Does it take time to realize the Self, or time cannot help to realize? Is self-realization a matter of time only, or does it depend on factors other than time?

Maharaj: All waiting is futile. To depend on time to solve our problems is self-delusion. The future, left to itself merely repeats the past. Change can only happen now, never in the future.

Q:   What brings about a change?

M:  With crystal clarity see the need of change. This is all.

Q:   Does self-realization happen in matter, or beyond? Is it not an experience depending on the body and the mind for its occurrence?

You can only experience the mind’s definitions, if the present mental definitions are of ‘lack and desire’ and trying to acquire what is desired then of course this will be the apparent experience

But thoughts or mind don’t have power, the power is Awareness. But overall I completely agree with what you’re saying. The result of not seeing the insubstantiality of the narratives causes one to attempt to play the game as a player and not as the Whole.

This will be my longest post (sorry in advance for this meaningless essay), but my final post. All I ask, is for you to sincerely read this open-mindedly and truly listen to what I’m saying and see what I am pointing to.

Think of these seeming experiences/occurrences:

Waking, sleeping, dreaming, imagining.

I know I have mentioned this many times but let’s once again talk about what they have in common:

They all have the same substance which is no substance, no tangibility, they are empty. Yet they all have the same “source” being “THAT”. Without giving label and meaning to “dreaming” or any of those other seeming phenomenon, all there is is this Awareness / Knowingness.

See it (what I have been pointing to since starting this page) directly, don’t take my words for “truth” without Knowing directly yourself…

Without labels and concepts, what am I left with?

What is aware of being aware?

See without labelling. Without labelling what is happening?

If I remove all use of language, what is?

“IT” is the only thing that always IS considering those occurrences above are nothing but discontinuous appearances, “THAT” is the only “continuity”.

“There must be something continuous to register discontinuity” - nisargadatta

“THAT” is experiencing itself “THAT”. It is the only constant in anything that you claim to have experienced. Yet there is actually no experience or happening, as at their “source” there is only “THAT” / Silence / Nothingness.

You just give xyz experience meaning and label. But it is all just an empty appearance. And what is an “experience”? Isn’t “everything” an experience… your dream from last night, you reading this now and when imagining something? They’re all One and the Same - equally illusionary / dreamlike / empty. “THAT” is the only thing you are always “left with”, that always IS. You’re the only one who labels things as “different” or “separate” 🤷‍♀️ They never were.

P.S. “Continuous” and “constant” not in the sense there is something continually existing or occurring over a period of time because “ “ just is, without beginning or end, there is nothing to continue from anything, its just a word for the sake of this post 😅

All depends on YOU, but YOU depend on nothing:

1) Because you are One with All that there seems to be, it is all YOU / nothingness (nameless and formless) appearing as “something” (with a seeming name and form).

2) Because there is nothing actually there to depend on.

3) Because YOU exist unconditionally and eternally, you just ARE, a “presence” with no beginning or end. Just wow, Your ineffable being truly cannot be grasped nor explained in words.

When you turn clay into a pot, you can call it a pot but it is still always clay. The clay can be without a pot, but the pot cannot be without clay.

You can call a wave a wave, but it is always the ocean. The ocean can be without waves, but the wave cannot be without the ocean.

So, we know there is no separation or duality. There never was one.

Everything is instant, you are limitless:

Lift your arm up for me now. Did it involve strenuous effort? Did it take a long time to do so? Or do you just Know you can just lift your hand and decide to do so?

It is the same for all seeming experiences. Just an instant Knowing. And you Know that as “THAT”, you are limitless and formless (hence this play you have divulged yourself in so much you thought it to be tangibly real).

Since you KNOW yourself to be limitless and infinite (so much so that any word to describe YOU would be limiting YOU) and there being no separation or duality since it is all “THAT/YOU”, all equally empty and seeming, then…. that’s it. You are ALWAYS experiencing yourself Now, no effort and no delay.

You are infinite, who tells you what is or isn’t possible? Everything is natural and effortless because it is all “ “, all YOU and “ “ is all that there is. Every (seeming) “experience” is always “ “ Now !!

There is nothing to make “appear” because there is nothing that is “disappearing” or “appearing”; there is nothing to “change” or “transform” because there was never anything actually there to “change” or “transform”. “Everything” just IS Now because it is always just all YOU / “THAT”.

This is NOT a method for “desires”. If you take it as such then …. Good luck. This is literally what you ARE, everything is YOU. How do you KNOW you exist? These are just empty words pointing to your true being, simply see where they are pointing !!

And by Now —> “Now is not a moment in time, sandwiched between two vast spaces of the past and future. This present Now is the only Now there is - the eternal Now. It has not come from anywhere and is not going anywhere.” - Rupert Spira

“ “ is all that there is.

That is the “conclusion” you will always arrive at. But of course there is actually no conclusion and no human to reach anything.

This is just a subtle noticing / remembrance (no aha moment or magical revelation) of that which always IS. That which you always have been, always are. but fooled yourself into thinking otherwise… only to realise that nothing had ever happened.

“You” have read and consumed enough, you have suffered enough, you have overthought and over-complicated enough, you have tried enough, you have victimised yourself enough. See “THAT” which always is, Now. Go beyond concepts and labels. No one can or will “do it” for you, for there are no others. There is no one to decide but You… You are all that there is. You choose, you decide.

Why do you assume you have to do something for your preferred story to appear? Even if you do assume so, it's just an assumption, yes? Not truth.

Your preferred story appears when it appears, with or without your doing anything.

You ask: "How do I manifest my desires?"

This question expects steps to follow so your preferred experience can appear. It assumes there's a gap to cross before your preferred story can appear. But is that gap necessary?

What if no matter what you do or don't do, your preferred story appears when it appears?

I understand that it hasn't appeared yet. But why assume it won't appear?

If you close your eyes, it's darkness. Does it mean your eyes won't open again? Surely not.

Here, the eye-opening is your preferred experience, yes? Guess what. You didn't have to do anything for your eyes to open. They just opened. It just appeared.

Your preferred experiences are similar. They might not appear immediately, but they shall appear when they appear, whether you do or don't do anything. Other events don't have any relation to this event. There is no such thing as cause-effect.

As for speeding it up or slowing it down? No, that assumes you have to do something for it to appear faster or slower. Even that is just another appearance. Even "time" is just another appearance. To say "something you do" can speed it up or slow it down assumes "causality" which is already an extra story. Each appearance is full in and of itself. They don't have any relation to other appearances, which in the present moment, don't exist anyway. All there is is the present appearance.

So, what's happening right now?

Your eyes are closed. Great, that's all it is. It doesn't mean they can't open. It shall remain closed for as long as it does.

Your preferred story isn't appearing. Great, that's all it is. It doesn't mean it won't appear. It shall remain absent for as long as it does.

And when it does appear?

Your eyes are open. Great, they are open. Once again, it doesn't mean they can't close again. It shall remain open for as long as it does.

Your preferred story is appearing. Great, it's appearing, finally. Once again, it doesn't mean this shall remain forever. It shall appear for as long as it does.

Naturally, once you're done with this, you have other preferred stories appear and those stories appear. And when those appear for as long as they do and dissolve, other preferred stories appear. So on and on.

In other words, the preferred story appears when it appears. No need to do or not do anything. Whatever happens, happens perfectly.

No matter how you look at it, these methods are absurd!

I believe this ask is a follow-up to this response.