Hi

So a month ago I stumbled upon a really amazing writer here on tumblr dearest, and I immediately fell in love with their work. It was so well written, and I couldn't comprehend the fact that it was the first ever story they've ever written and they wrote it under such circumstances that if I were to be put in their position, I can guarantee I wouldn't even be able to string a coherent sentence.

Anyway, that really got me thinking.

It's been two months since I first started writing, and revisiting old works of mine reveals something along the lines of "I'm not improving," and "I'm not creative."

It's been a problem I seem to notice, is that I struggle a lot with characterization (ESPECIALLY this) and pacing, among other things that makes me view my works mostly as blegh.

I know comparing is probably not the best way to develop, and I wouldn't say I'm envious of people's talents (because it's obvious some people are just so great at stuff lmao) but it's more like I'm disappointed in myself I guess(?)

In the collective 20 works that I've published over the two months, I still can't fully grasp what works and what doesn't with the Fandom, and I can't quite identify nor fix the problems in my writings. Combined with the burn out, this makes writing a very painful process for me even though I really want to enjoy it.

I rely very heavily on external validations and to see that in the midst of the dead Fandom (when compared to when it's at its peak), people can still garner almost 1k notes in the span of a week (and I can see why it's very well loved), posting here just makes me so stressed when I shouldn't even be.

It got so bad to the point I have trouble breathing every time I think about writing, and although now it doesn't happen as often, the performance anxiety is pretty much there.

Work, as well as college too has been a pretty great contributor for my stress and to put writing on top of that is just excruciating for me.

And that's why I'm taking a break!

It'll probably a month break like how I've stated in previous post, because it's become apparent I need rest LMAO

Thank you so much for the support you guys have shown and sent my way, I want to say that I really appreciate it! Honestly I wouldn't get this far without you guys, I love you so much!

I've set some reblogs for other creator's works while I'm gone, because I've been meaning to read but I just haven't found the opportunity for it. People here make such great works <3

If you guys have any requests, PLEASE DON'T HESITATE TO SEND THEM IN. I know this might feel contradictory but as I pointed out, I'm not really imaginative or creative, and I really want to write things, but most of the time I cant come up with anything or what I think is good isn't what you guys want (I know I still have a bunch of requests sitting around, but like I said I write when inspiration struck me).

So yes, send requests in so that I can do some writing during the break, and hopefully come back with a bunch of requests already done and ready to post!

Also, if you guys make it this far, I've got a surprise for you which is I'm finally trying to work on the series I've been planning to do since January HAHA! We'll have to see where it takes me but right now I have so much ideas running around in my brain and not enough waking hour in the day to develop and write it.

How do you guys feel about lord crime v.s. master detective trope BECAUSE I AM CRAZY ABOUT IT.

I'll see you guys when I do :) Love you! ❤

Special thanks to:

@missmonsters2 and @robiin-buckley for being the people who literally BURNS my heart with the desire and give me the courage to write, I wouldn’t be here without you 🥺💘

@ocyrus for being my first ever anon, I cannot stress how much I owe you <3

@tulipsbymybed for hyping me up when I first started and when I thought my work is a shitshow.

@vorsdanysstuff for being the first person to reblog my stuff and says some very very nice things about it and gave me more confidence to write, and also. For finding me and being the love of my life. I treasure you with my whole being.

@wol-fica for feeding me with cat pictures and being my lovely wife who misses me when I'm gone and makes picrews of us together, I love you so much 💓

@maryannecrimsworth for noticing my username and for loving my blogs questionable aesthetic, and for talking to me about dystopia and being my favorite lil bro!

@cursedchar for being the awkward mutual at first but now we spew chaos every where and every time we talk and interact. Honestly, you bring the wild side in me out to the world. Still hate your angsty stuff tho.

@tundra1029 FOR BEING THE ICON THAT GIVES GOOD ASS AMAZING PROMPTS and being a super lovely person and a great writer, I love you buddy <3

@alexkolax for well. You know me the most out of everyone in this site. My respect and trust for you is through the roof and cannot be expressed with mere words. Thank you for being here, Lex.

@ricosnumber1fan for being there in most of my works. I still think about you and scroll through your comments and reblogs. You're the best (second to sourdough tho).

@theflamboyantshadow for always leaving amazing comments under my posts, you are the sweetest person ever and I really wish you a great fucking life. Love you.

@iamnicodemus for writing that dragon Wednesday fic... and LEAVING THE MOST FLATTERING REBLOGS. ILYSM AND. you always make me smile when I think of you LMAO

@literally everybody else who've single handedly kept me alive and well on this site, I appreciate all your little asks, reblogs, comments, likes, and just UGH my heart aches for every single one of you.

The girl in question didn't respond. Instead, she presses her face closer to your chest, clinging to you tightly. The fabric of your shirt may muffle her sniffles, but you know your girlfriend has been crying and is currently trying to hide the fact that she still is. 

You carefully wrap your arms around the Addams girl. She didn't refuse your touch. 

"What's wrong? You know you can talk to me."

Your question is left unanswered again, but that doesn't discourage you. You know how Wednesday is; intelligent, forbidding, and sadistic. But she is also solemn and emotionally reserved. She's a strong human capable of expressing her thoughts, and if any of her past actions are any indication, she's never afraid to do so. 

But sometimes, Wednesday is also fragile. She's continuously guarding how she presents herself to the world—not wanting to appear vulnerable. But here she is, grasping at you urgently, almost like she's afraid of letting you go.

So, you hold her. You cradle her tight—Wednesday doesn't like soft hugs; she refers to it as a worthless attempt at strangling someone—and the girl melts into you more. 

Wednesday likes warm hugs.

You whisper sweet nothings to her—simple I love you's, and I'm here muttered into the room. The trashing beats of her heart slow into a calm rhythmical one; your now damp t-shirt still muffles her quiet sniffles. 

Both of you stay like that in the uncountable moments, you calming her as best as you can with the occasional forehead kisses and Wednesday breathing more evenly with each one you give. 

The space is filled with something resembling silence—the whir of your air conditioning and the occasional cricket noises are the only sound heard. Neither of you says a word because they're irrelevant. You know what Wednesday needs.

She needs you.

They say silence is gold, and maybe that's true for now. The girl finally lifts her head, eyes trained at the hands bunching up your shirt. You take them in yours and caress her knuckles gently. The fingers feel warm. 

"I had a nightmare," the ravenette says. "A bad one."

Wednesday stares at you through her bangs. Her eyes are swollen, and her lips quiver so subtly that nobody would notice, but you do down to the faint furrow of her eyebrows and her jaw clenching slightly. 

You nod, signaling you're listening and ready for her to continue.

"I went looking for you after the battle with Crackstone because you were nowhere to be found. And then, I got to your room. When I opened the door, I saw you on this bed."

Wednesday stops and squeezes your hand. She takes a deep breath.

"There was blood everywhere— The floor, wall, and sheets. I immediately ran and saw you gasping for air. There was a cavity in your chest— Your rib cage is drilled, and the lungs p-popped out of with every single breath—"

Her sobs cut through her words before she could even finish her sentence. You hurriedly wrap your arms around Wednesday, her wails once again muffled into your t-shirt. Stroking her head gently, you sit up to hold her properly, comforting her as she wills her stutters away.

"I thought I was too l-l-late. The ripped bedding and the claw marks on your body made me furious. And then you stopped gasping, and I thought I lost you—"

You pepper sloppy kisses on her cheeks, nose, and jaw, anywhere you can reach to hush her words. "I will always be here for you, Wednesday," you assured. Her cries pierce the warm air, so you rock her body with you while hugging her as tightly as possible. 

"It looked so real..."

You don't need her to continue; you know why she's so afraid. Wednesday has seen people die in her visions way too many times. She fears your death even though the event would've happened in the past. What she saw was just a dream, and the girl obviously knows. 

But right now, she doesn't need a reality check. She needs to know you're well and alive, even if it means breaking down her well-built walls and presenting herself to you as vulnerable as is. You're going to do just that.

"I'll always be here for you, Wens. Now and forever, in this life and the next. Do you know why?"

Her crying ceases a little, and a tear rolls down her cheeks as her glassy eyes blink to look at your tender ones. 

You smile. "Because I'll always be yours as you're mine," you place your hand on her cheek and wipes the tears away. "Because I love you."

Her face starts to warm up. 

Yours has been since the very first day you met her.

Maybe the salt on her lips was from the tears. Her small hand grips yours while the other rest on your chest. Wednesday feels so delicate, like the flowers on your window sill, and you want to protect her with every touch of your lips. Her nose nudges yours, and if you open your eyes, you'll see her lush eyelashes gleaming in the stray moonlight. 

You pray with every kiss a single thing: to be the wound that nestles into her flesh and soul, stubbornly refusing to heal. Because then, you'll stay intertwined with her until the very end, allowing her to remember what it feels like to be loved.

To be Wednesday's very own pleasant, warm wound. 

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

A/n2: Hello! I've been MIA for the past week or so, and for that I apologize. I do have news though, gonna take a break this month so in the meantime, do feel free to revisit old posts :( I'll make a follow up post regarding the situation but right now I just wanna thank you guys for the overwhelming amount of love and support. I can't be grateful enough 💗