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being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.
Let's say I really wanted to reduce the number of children who die in car accidents. Car accidents are really bad, right? Nobody disagrees about that. And it would be much better for both the environment and the kids' health if they spent more time walking, or taking the bus. Perfectly reasonable. More cars off the road, safer roads, fewer kids getting hurt, healthier kids. A win-win!
Therefore, let's ban children from traveling by car and require all cars to have a scanner on the door that scans the government ID of everyone who gets in the car to make sure no kids are in there. After all, kids get hurt in car accidents all the time! We need to ban this right away!
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hi. i don't have any pictures but i DO have a mary/maria thought. mary and maria somehow getting to meet each other for the first time. maria is scared out of her fucking mind and shrinks in on herself as mary stares at her, an unreadable look on her face. she circles maria slowly, looking her up and down and up again to absorb every possible detail she can. when she's done, mary's face is noticeably sadder, and she says "you're perfect." when she hears those words, maria's heart sinks all the way down to her shoes!!!!!!!!!! bcs that's the worst possible thing mary could've ever said to her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As a kid I always thought that if telepaths were real I'd know because of any of them tried to read my mind the firehouse of insane bullshit would make them drop to the ground screaming, if not actually explode.
My adolescent ADHD and Adult autism diagnosis were the opposite of a surprise.
Hey, man, c'mere. Listen. Get in real close, this is important.
You're gonna make stuff again. You're gonna make stuff you're proud of. You're gonna make stuff you're excited to share. You're going to feel that overwhelming drive to create, not just the frantic I want to want to you're stuck in now. You're going to have awesome ideas, and you're going to make them into reality. You're going to create again. You're still an artist. You're still a writer. You're still home to the same passion you had before. You'll find it again. It's not gone. It's just resting. Let it rest. You're going to make stuff again. I promise.
it really is annoying as hell how someone will talk about how poor people can't avoid ethically dubious products because of how being poor works and then someone with a two story house in the suburbs will take that to mean they can order harry potter books through a drone delivery from amazon and if you criticize that you're a bigot
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this has been on my mind for WEEKS so i just need to rant and ramble about it. TCWG has been alive in my mind for the better part of a decade and i am, at this point, strongly considering restructuring the foundation of mochi and limes whole relationship from childhood friends -> lovers into childhood rivals -> lovers, the OG trope that owns my heart in every media i consume
this echos back to some posts that ive yapped about in the past, the "Mochi and Lime didn't like each other, but he ends up in her guild anyway" idea. because the more i think about it the more i feel like it lines up with the pace of the relationship that i want, limes attitude and pride issues, his joining the m-34th decision, EVERYTHING
so the idea goes like so: enter Lime Goldwood, straight-A student, star of the baseball team, member of a dozen clubs, well-liked by everyone, tall and handsome, going places in life. Except, all this is with an asterisk or an "in theory at least" footnote, because this whole image that he crafted for himself is uprooted by this one fucking weird girl.
Mind you, it's his own fault that this whole image steadily falls apart in his hands, but that's beside the point. Back to this weird girl who goes to his school, catches his train, and lives on the opposite block of the street.
(What follows is a very long pseudo-fic about how the backstory goes, from Limes POV. ie, the backbones for a "My rival is the main character" comic)
Let's back up a little. Lime's family is above water financially, but they're nowhere near rich. They want to set their children up for success. They don't want them to "struggle like we did". That means signing them up for a bunch of sports, clubs, extracurricular activities, and drilling into their growing little minds that they need to work hard, get ahead, get good grades, and don't let us down. Lime takes this to heart. From a young age, he committed to being at the top of his class, practicing hard, asking all the questions, and reading all the books. "Getting ahead". For years and years, as long as he can remember it being important to him, he's been at the top of his class. He's a strong believer in "Work hard for what you want, reach out and take it." If you're not "making it", you're not working hard. End of story.
He's always kind of been aware of the quiet girl who catches his train and goes to his school. He's seen her there since early middle school, maybe even elementary school if he bothered to pay attention. Outside of her occasional oddities, she doesn't seem to draw much attention. No biggie. Who cares. But he does, over time, take note of how much she slacks off (or at least that's how he sees it). During PE, she just sits on the stands and does homework or reads books. She's never actively contributed to group projects. She doesn't join any clubs. She doesn't do extracurricular activities. Again, whatever, to each their own, he thinks. She'll reap what she sows.
One day, he notices, one way or another, that she is actually third (or second) in their class. WAY higher than he thinks she should be. "What the hell? How?!"
"How what? I don't see what's wrong there," is the only response he gets from anyone. When he asks a teacher how she can hand in homework late, or half-done, and get away with it. When he asks his parents if her missing classes impact her scores. When he sees her, with his own eyes, sitting on the benches during PE, yet coming out with grades that are just below his. How is she coasting by with all this?!
He has to get to the bottom of this. At some point, he confronts her in the hall as school gets out and everyone is on their way home. "Hey," he's looking at her in complete disbelief, and she has something which he identifies as an innocent kind of stupor. "Can I see your exam? I want to check something on mine." Before she can get words out, he snatches the exam she was holding away from her. 85% of it is wrong answers, yet at the top of her paper is an 85% and a smiley face. What?
He stops a teacher in the hall and points it out. "Look," he says, "I got this answer right, and she got it wrong, but you gave her full points." Mochi stands there, and he has no idea how she can display a perfect mix of mild panic, indifference, and curiosity all at once. The teacher examines it for a second and then goes, "Huh, I see. I must have marked yours wrong." They take out their red pen and adjust his grade right then and there. It drops 5%.
What follows immediately after this is a loss of composure. A panic, on Limes side, as he tries to argue his case and convince the teacher that No! Mine is correct, and hers is wrong! But the teacher is having none of it. Maybe he then accidentally throws in something he shouldn't say, like "Are you dumb?! Aren't you supposed to be good at this subject?!" This earns him detention, or a grade drop, or both.
What follows extensively into the future is a disdain for this girl (who grabs her exam back and walks off without a word. He got the feeling he was a complete non-factor to her). This is not the last incident of its kind.
Thus, we find ourselves back to the beginning--Lime tries to be this well-liked, straight-A, good and proper student blah blah blah, but his life is riddled with the gnawing feeling in his chest every time this girl, this weird fucking insane girl who SOMEHOW keeps getting away with random bullshit, does some random bullshit. He can't just sit there and NOT say something.
By the time they're partway through high school, his reputation is in shambles. He's devolved into picking on her and, to an extent, bullying her. "I'm calling her out on her shit!" He tells others when they reprimand him for picking on her. "I don't know if your mom has the school in her pocket or something, but don't think you can keep getting away with this shit forever," he tells her as she comes in late, and leaves early. "WHAT, SITTING ON THE BENCH AGAIN BEING LAZY??" He yells at her from across the gym as she is, indeed, sitting on the bench being lazy again. He's still a straight-A, star-of-the-baseball-team student, but "Dude who picks on other people" is also meddled into what people know him as.
What pisses him off, in order of severity, is 1) the getting away with it 2) the fact that no one seems to notice or care but himself 3) all his attempts just backfire on him, and 4) the fact that EVERY SINGLE TIME, she treats him with that same innocent indifference. It's the kind of look that doesn't hold contempt, anger, arrogance, or evil. It's the kind of look you give someone when you know they're trying to say something nice, but they keep fumbling their words. A patient softness, almost. Fuck off.
He'd yank back her hair as she was putting her things in her locker, and she'd look back up at him. "How the fuck do you get away with this shit, seriously?" After years of asking, harassing, trying to get a teacher to punish her, trying to catch her in the act on camera, and all his attempts being both foiled and recoiled back at him, either through detention, social scrutiny, or taking a hit to his grades, he decides to just ask her straight up. "How the fuck do you get away with this shit, seriously?"
She just blinks and says, "What are you talking about?" and finds a way to wriggle out of the situation and down the hall away from him. Classic.
Recently, she's been bringing a cat into school. A whole ass cat, that sits on the table and meows responses to the teacher's questions (which, by the way, the teacher accepts as a response). In a school where pets are prohibited. Lime himself once got in trouble for bringing a goldfish he won to school (it got confiscated, and died soon after. Rest up, big dog).
The teacher clearly says, "No cheating off each other's papers on the exam." During the exam, this girl has the BALLS to not only CHEAT, but cheat off of HIM. She's obviously leaning over, reading and copying what he's put down. He can't take this shit anymore. "Teacher, Mochi is trying to cheat off me!" His yelling disturbs the whole class and gets them both pulled into the hallway (thank God it's not just me for once, he thinks). As the teacher examines the examinations, she comes to the conclusion that indeed they have the same short answer word-for-word, but she can't tell who cheated off of whom. They both get detention after school to clean the classroom windows. For the first time, Mochi gives him a look that is a mix of surprise and annoyance. He's a little upset that she's not MORE mad. He'd like her to actually be upset for once, deservedly. At least he's not the only one being punished.
While they're cleaning the windows after school, it's probably the first time he has her alone. Her back is to him as she cleans windows on one side of the classroom, and he cleans windows on the other side.
"I wish you'd just own up to it and be honest." He jabs at her, and she responds with silence. "Seriously, coasting by with minimal effort just because your mom is rich or influential or something, somehow, whatever." Again, silence. Seems she has nothing to say to him. Okay then.
His scattered rage comments turn into a full-blown rant. What starts as a string of words that barade her for slacking and cheating turns into a confession of how hard he works and how unfair her behavior and lack of consequences are to everyone else. How all he wants is some justice in this world, but for whatever reason, justice seems to evade her, meanwhile all his well-meaning efforts to make it so she gets what's coming to her just gets HIM in more trouble. How is that fair?!
After this whole 20-minute rant (and a long pause as he waits for her response), she's still silent. "Oh, you think you're too good to even talk to me, is that it?" he yanks her hair again with an irritated sneer. She looks back (up, really, he's taller) at him. Her hands go up to her ears, and he watches her pluck wireless earbuds out. "Were you talking to me?"
Fuck. Off. Are you kidding me?
Seconds later, students and staff are scrambling to the classroom at the sound of things being scooted, thrown, splashed, tossed, and broken. They find a classroom with chairs scattered, water all over the floor, Lime, panting and carrying a bucket (and a bucket-shaped hole in the window which would indicate he missed a throw), and a rather panicked Mochi in an evasive stance. This rage-stunt earned him a couple more detentions. But at least he finally, FINALLY found something that cracks that neutral, innocent, gentle, patient demeanor she always has on: she doesn't like being splashed with water. Noted.
They're both brought to the principal's office, and after many stern words and phone calls placed to BOTH their parents, they're set free. They walk in thick silence down the hallway toward the exit. Lime speaks up. "I'm gonna get you at some point. I'm fine with mutual destruction if that's what it takes."
She stops. Turns. She seems like she's examining him for a second or two. She walks up to him (what the hell is she doing?). She reaches up slowly and taps her index and middle fingers to his forehead. Then, she leans in, and her expression turns attentive and focused. It's like she's trying to evaluate some kind of response, like she pressed a button.
Her eyes are bright and shining pink, like starlight. Odd. Long eyelashes, too. He wonders if she's wearing contacts.
There's a long pause, as if they were both expecting something to happen. "...what the fuck." Is all he says, unsure what the hell she's doing. She backs away and stares at him for a moment in thought. And then says maybe the most meaningful thing she's ever said to him. "Don't talk to me again."
Arrogant asshole. "How about don't cheat off my tests then?!" he yells after her as she's walking away. From then on, there's a particular energy about her, though her expressions barely changed. He swears he catches her eyebrow twitching when he yells at her, or an annoyed glance in his direction. Good, at least he's getting to her now.
But her overall behavior hasn't changed. In fact, it's gotten worse. More odd. She talks to the cat now, as if it were a person, and it responds in a series of mew's and meow's. She disappears from school for hours or sometimes days, and shows up looking disheveled sometimes. Sleeps in class other times. One day he spots her heading home from school late, around the time he finishes baseball practice. And she hasn't noticed he's there. This is it, Lime thinks. She's not being diligent; it's finally time to catch her in the act. Figure out what she's always up to, sneaking around.
In about 2 hours, he wished he hadn't. What started as a poor man's incognito stalking mission turned into what he could only describe as "being isekai'd into his own world". One minute, he's following her down an alleyway, the next minute...stuff is happening. Objects are being thrown. People are jumping, fighting, flying in the air. Swords, knives, bullets,...sludge? At one point, a tree comes from out of nowhere and smashes a...person(?) into a building, at another point, a different person gets thrown 50 feet tumbling past him on the pavement like someone tried to use a ragdoll as a bowling ball. He only realizes upon second look that this bowling-ball-ragdoll was Mochi. Beaten up and somehow with different clothes than he had seen her in 5 minutes ago.
She coughs, swears, looks up, and then meets his eyes. There's a brief moment of recognition and panic on her face. Oh, he realizes, maybe too late: I'm in the middle of all of this. Oh, he realizes, again too late, whoever this person is that Mochi is fighting is pointing...something, a limb or a weapon, directly at him. He (it?) plans to hit Mochi, and he's just in the path of fire. He puts his hands up as a reflex to block it, and in a flash of light...nothing happens. It feels more like a light breeze than anything, yet the dumpster and part of the building behind him get obliterated. Huh? Is he dreaming? Or hallucinating?
The person(?) gears up for another attack at Mochi, and she jumps behind Lime just in time to not get blasted again. The blast bounces off. The shock of being used as a human shield shakes his voice loose. "DON'T HIDE BEHIND ME, THE FUCK?!"
"Just stay there!"
And in another second, she's off scaling buildings in a jump. Is that a broomstick? Where did she get that sword now? How is it glowing pink? Oh, he should probably run, he thinks. Is he in shock? Somehow, he's almost in a trance watching everything happen.
He can't even describe what happens afterwards. A barrage of flashes, a glowing inscription in a circle on the floor, the person(?) is suspended in midair between buildings in glowing golden chains. There is a blast, and a scream that doesn't sound human, and suddenly Mochi is standing alone in an alleyway with a black cloak and a pointed black hat, panting. Just as quick, she's in her school uniform and turning to him. She looks like she got the shit beat out of her.
His brain works again. "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, YOU FREAK?!"
He can barely take two steps backwards before something shoots out from around her, wraps him up, and he falls limp on the ground. Somehow, he finds himself cartoonishly bound in much more rope than is necessary, with a hankercheif tied in his mouth to shut him up. His body scoots down the alleyway towards her with nothing pulling him, and she crouches down. "Sorry! I'm sorry-- I really need you to shut the hell up." This is the most emotion he's ever seen from her. A medium-sized cast-iron frying pan manifests in her hand. He'd question how, but his immediate thought was Oh god, please don't.
She does. With a swing and comicly loud pang!
"Are you for real with the cast iron?" was the first coherent mumble Lime managed to spit out after he woke up and gathered himself. He had no idea where he was. Perhaps in a very odd dream still. There was Mochi, a bit more expressive than she had been when he had seen her, though not as much as she was during that fight. Behind her is her mother, Mrs. Catbelle, who he's only ever interacted with to be polite if he sees her outside her tea shop. "Isn't it better for cooking?"
"...What?"
"The cast iron," Mochi says, as if it were obvious. He looks at her like she's stupid. "I meant why hit me with a cast-iron pan, dumbass?!"
What followed was the strangest situation he had ever been in (so far). Tied up in a chair in what he could now see was a very strange greenhouse with a large iron pot in the middle, plants everywhere, oddities on the shelf (bugs, old shoes, broken wood, empty shampoo bottles), several cats, two broomsticks, a tea shop owner, and a young girl with pink eyes and a black pointed hat.
In this strange situation, Mochi first tried sticking several pieces of paper with strange symbols to his face. Similar to that day in the hallway, she started with one and then stared at him. Every time he muttered something like "What the fuck?" or "Can someone tell me what is happening?!" she stuck another piece of paper on his face. After about 5 or 6 pieces were on him (so much that 1 or 2 had already fallen off), he heard her cat say something about high magic resistance. Wait, he heard her cat say? "I knew you could talk, you fucking cat!!" was all he could get out. The cat then commented on his limited vocabulary and lack of critical thinking, given the situation. Fuck this cat.
Also in this strange situation, he cycled through fear and rage about twice every 10 seconds. Now they were deciding his fate right in front of him, completely ignoring him while doing so. "We can't wipe his memory; the spell won't take effect." Huh?
"What about Madam Springs?"
Who?
"She has options, but they're temporary. We'd have to make him take the medicine every day. I don't know how we would force that."
"I don't suppose letting him go scot-free is an option either."
What?! Why not?!
"Do you trust him enough for that?"
After Mrs. Catbelle asked this, Mochi turned around to give Lime a look. A look of evaluation with a quick decision, like seeing a burned piece of toast and realizing it can't be used to make a sandwich. "...I guess not." Yeah, that tracks.
The very rude cat then pipes in with something about a guild. Mochi appears not to like this suggestion very much, judging by the tone of her "What? Seriously??"
"Indeed", the rude cat explains, "If he's in your guild, he can't report you lest they arrest him as well. Anything you're tied up in, he's tied up in. It's the only way to protect both yourself and him."
The last part he understood well enough. Mochi seems to look at him in deep thought. "...Mutual destruction, huh?" she mutters softly, and he catches it.
But she seems adamant to not lock him into something he doesn't want, she tells Mrs. Catbelle and the rude cat. What is this weird benevolence she's now showing? She pulls up a chair in front of him and tells him: she promises to explain everything. She tells him she has a reason for everything she does, every way she acts. She asks him to be part of this "guild" (that he doesn't even understand yet), and in exchange, she will do whatever he asks of her, whenever he asks it of her, if it's in her power to do so.
...what?
"Whatever I want?" He says with a smirk and a sneer, but her expression is unchanged. The same expression of gentle patience she always wears.
"I can't do anything magic on you, but if there's anything I can do for you, I will. Name it." She goes on to list the classic things. Money, status, healing sickness in family members, instantly fixing a faucet, summoning rain; She adds, among the list, "--getting the answer sheet for tests--" and he cuts her off with "Okay stop, we don't need to do that."
He thinks for a while and looks at her with scrutiny. "I want you to stop abusing the school and the system and work honestly for once." His voice has a hiss of resentment. Her expression is unchanged. "Done."
He thinks for a while longer and looks at her with scrutiny. Suddenly, his mind can't really think of anything meaningful to ask for, besides stupid shit like a PS5 or McDonald's. He feels fucking stupid, and hopes she can't read minds.
"You don't have to come up with a list right now." Thank god. "But this...is also not the most uhm...safe and boring thing to agree to. There's going to be...a lot going on and uh--" She seems to fumble this part of her words, like she's trying to not scare him. He gets what she's getting at, though. "Like tonight?"
"Like tonight."
He thinks back for a second. Actually, it was kind of like a cool video game. And if he remembered correctly, he seemed to be immune to things? Maybe he's still in shock.
"Am I going to die, be honest." It's a question. He says it like a sentence.
She blinks. "I mean...you could die randomly at any time anyway?" Fair point.
Suddenly, he has the urge to do cool shit. Is this for real? If he says yes to this, he's not sure what it entails, but it sounds like...an adventure? Of some kind? Is he being dumb or brainwashed? His brain is switching between grown-up logic and a childlike curiosity. Most people watch cartoons, read books, dream of those adventures finding them. Surely this can't be it. Maybe it is? He's sitting there in silence. She's still looking at him with eyes like starlight.
There's a sudden shift in her demeanor. It's humility with a desperate undertone. A short crack in what he is starting to realize is a carefully crafted facade. Her eyes flutter as she blinks, and she breathes sharply. "Please, Lime." It's a beg. Ugh. Fuck off.
this has been on my mind for WEEKS so i just need to rant and ramble about it. TCWG has been alive in my mind for the better part of a decade and i am, at this point, strongly considering restructuring the foundation of mochi and limes whole relationship from childhood friends -> lovers into childhood rivals -> lovers, the OG trope that owns my heart in every media i consume
this echos back to some posts that ive yapped about in the past, the "Mochi and Lime didn't like each other, but he ends up in her guild anyway" idea. because the more i think about it the more i feel like it lines up with the pace of the relationship that i want, limes attitude and pride issues, his joining the m-34th decision, EVERYTHING
so the idea goes like so: enter Lime Goldwood, straight-A student, star of the baseball team, member of a dozen clubs, well-liked by everyone, tall and handsome, going places in life. Except, all this is with an asterisk or an "in theory at least" footnote, because this whole image that he crafted for himself is uprooted by this one fucking weird girl.
Mind you, it's his own fault that this whole image steadily falls apart in his hands, but that's beside the point. Back to this weird girl who goes to his school, catches his train, and lives on the opposite block of the street.
(What follows is a very long pseudo-fic about how the backstory goes, from Limes POV. ie, the backbones for a "My rival is the main character" comic)
Let's back up a little. Lime's family is above water financially, but they're nowhere near rich. They want to set their children up for success. They don't want them to "struggle like we did". That means signing them up for a bunch of sports, clubs, extracurricular activities, and drilling into their growing little minds that they need to work hard, get ahead, get good grades, and don't let us down. Lime takes this to heart. From a young age, he committed to being at the top of his class, practicing hard, asking all the questions, and reading all the books. "Getting ahead". For years and years, as long as he can remember it being important to him, he's been at the top of his class. He's a strong believer in "Work hard for what you want, reach out and take it." If you're not "making it", you're not working hard. End of story.
He's always kind of been aware of the quiet girl who catches his train and goes to his school. He's seen her there since early middle school, maybe even elementary school if he bothered to pay attention. Outside of her occasional oddities, she doesn't seem to draw much attention. No biggie. Who cares. But he does, over time, take note of how much she slacks off (or at least that's how he sees it). During PE, she just sits on the stands and does homework or reads books. She's never actively contributed to group projects. She doesn't join any clubs. She doesn't do extracurricular activities. Again, whatever, to each their own, he thinks. She'll reap what she sows.
One day, he notices, one way or another, that she is actually third (or second) in their class. WAY higher than he thinks she should be. "What the hell? How?!"
"How what? I don't see what's wrong there," is the only response he gets from anyone. When he asks a teacher how she can hand in homework late, or half-done, and get away with it. When he asks his parents if her missing classes impact her scores. When he sees her, with his own eyes, sitting on the benches during PE, yet coming out with grades that are just below his. How is she coasting by with all this?!
He has to get to the bottom of this. At some point, he confronts her in the hall as school gets out and everyone is on their way home. "Hey," he's looking at her in complete disbelief, and she has something which he identifies as an innocent kind of stupor. "Can I see your exam? I want to check something on mine." Before she can get words out, he snatches the exam she was holding away from her. 85% of it is wrong answers, yet at the top of her paper is an 85% and a smiley face. What?
He stops a teacher in the hall and points it out. "Look," he says, "I got this answer right, and she got it wrong, but you gave her full points." Mochi stands there, and he has no idea how she can display a perfect mix of mild panic, indifference, and curiosity all at once. The teacher examines it for a second and then goes, "Huh, I see. I must have marked yours wrong." They take out their red pen and adjust his grade right then and there. It drops 5%.
What follows immediately after this is a loss of composure. A panic, on Limes side, as he tries to argue his case and convince the teacher that No! Mine is correct, and hers is wrong! But the teacher is having none of it. Maybe he then accidentally throws in something he shouldn't say, like "Are you dumb?! Aren't you supposed to be good at this subject?!" This earns him detention, or a grade drop, or both.
What follows extensively into the future is a disdain for this girl (who grabs her exam back and walks off without a word. He got the feeling he was a complete non-factor to her). This is not the last incident of its kind.
Thus, we find ourselves back to the beginning--Lime tries to be this well-liked, straight-A, good and proper student blah blah blah, but his life is riddled with the gnawing feeling in his chest every time this girl, this weird fucking insane girl who SOMEHOW keeps getting away with random bullshit, does some random bullshit. He can't just sit there and NOT say something.
By the time they're partway through high school, his reputation is in shambles. He's devolved into picking on her and, to an extent, bullying her. "I'm calling her out on her shit!" He tells others when they reprimand him for picking on her. "I don't know if your mom has the school in her pocket or something, but don't think you can keep getting away with this shit forever," he tells her as she comes in late, and leaves early. "WHAT, SITTING ON THE BENCH AGAIN BEING LAZY??" He yells at her from across the gym as she is, indeed, sitting on the bench being lazy again. He's still a straight-A, star-of-the-baseball-team student, but "Dude who picks on other people" is also meddled into what people know him as.
What pisses him off, in order of severity, is 1) the getting away with it 2) the fact that no one seems to notice or care but himself 3) all his attempts just backfire on him, and 4) the fact that EVERY SINGLE TIME, she treats him with that same innocent indifference. It's the kind of look that doesn't hold contempt, anger, arrogance, or evil. It's the kind of look you give someone when you know they're trying to say something nice, but they keep fumbling their words. A patient softness, almost. Fuck off.
He'd yank back her hair as she was putting her things in her locker, and she'd look back up at him. "How the fuck do you get away with this shit, seriously?" After years of asking, harassing, trying to get a teacher to punish her, trying to catch her in the act on camera, and all his attempts being both foiled and recoiled back at him, either through detention, social scrutiny, or taking a hit to his grades, he decides to just ask her straight up. "How the fuck do you get away with this shit, seriously?"
She just blinks and says, "What are you talking about?" and finds a way to wriggle out of the situation and down the hall away from him. Classic.
Recently, she's been bringing a cat into school. A whole ass cat, that sits on the table and meows responses to the teacher's questions (which, by the way, the teacher accepts as a response). In a school where pets are prohibited. Lime himself once got in trouble for bringing a goldfish he won to school (it got confiscated, and died soon after. Rest up, big dog).
The teacher clearly says, "No cheating off each other's papers on the exam." During the exam, this girl has the BALLS to not only CHEAT, but cheat off of HIM. She's obviously leaning over, reading and copying what he's put down. He can't take this shit anymore. "Teacher, Mochi is trying to cheat off me!" His yelling disturbs the whole class and gets them both pulled into the hallway (thank God it's not just me for once, he thinks). As the teacher examines the examinations, she comes to the conclusion that indeed they have the same short answer word-for-word, but she can't tell who cheated off of whom. They both get detention after school to clean the classroom windows. For the first time, Mochi gives him a look that is a mix of surprise and annoyance. He's a little upset that she's not MORE mad. He'd like her to actually be upset for once, deservedly. At least he's not the only one being punished.
While they're cleaning the windows after school, it's probably the first time he has her alone. Her back is to him as she cleans windows on one side of the classroom, and he cleans windows on the other side.
"I wish you'd just own up to it and be honest." He jabs at her, and she responds with silence. "Seriously, coasting by with minimal effort just because your mom is rich or influential or something, somehow, whatever." Again, silence. Seems she has nothing to say to him. Okay then.
His scattered rage comments turn into a full-blown rant. What starts as a string of words that barade her for slacking and cheating turns into a confession of how hard he works and how unfair her behavior and lack of consequences are to everyone else. How all he wants is some justice in this world, but for whatever reason, justice seems to evade her, meanwhile all his well-meaning efforts to make it so she gets what's coming to her just gets HIM in more trouble. How is that fair?!
After this whole 20-minute rant (and a long pause as he waits for her response), she's still silent. "Oh, you think you're too good to even talk to me, is that it?" he yanks her hair again with an irritated sneer. She looks back (up, really, he's taller) at him. Her hands go up to her ears, and he watches her pluck wireless earbuds out. "Were you talking to me?"
Fuck. Off. Are you kidding me?
Seconds later, students and staff are scrambling to the classroom at the sound of things being scooted, thrown, splashed, tossed, and broken. They find a classroom with chairs scattered, water all over the floor, Lime, panting and carrying a bucket (and a bucket-shaped hole in the window which would indicate he missed a throw), and a rather panicked Mochi in an evasive stance. This rage-stunt earned him a couple more detentions. But at least he finally, FINALLY found something that cracks that neutral, innocent, gentle, patient demeanor she always has on: she doesn't like being splashed with water. Noted.
They're both brought to the principal's office, and after many stern words and phone calls placed to BOTH their parents, they're set free. They walk in thick silence down the hallway toward the exit. Lime speaks up. "I'm gonna get you at some point. I'm fine with mutual destruction if that's what it takes."
She stops. Turns. She seems like she's examining him for a second or two. She walks up to him (what the hell is she doing?). She reaches up slowly and taps her index and middle fingers to his forehead. Then, she leans in, and her expression turns attentive and focused. It's like she's trying to evaluate some kind of response, like she pressed a button.
Her eyes are bright and shining pink, like starlight. Odd. Long eyelashes, too. He wonders if she's wearing contacts.
There's a long pause, as if they were both expecting something to happen. "...what the fuck." Is all he says, unsure what the hell she's doing. She backs away and stares at him for a moment in thought. And then says maybe the most meaningful thing she's ever said to him. "Don't talk to me again."
Arrogant asshole. "How about don't cheat off my tests then?!" he yells after her as she's walking away. From then on, there's a particular energy about her, though her expressions barely changed. He swears he catches her eyebrow twitching when he yells at her, or an annoyed glance in his direction. Good, at least he's getting to her now.
But her overall behavior hasn't changed. In fact, it's gotten worse. More odd. She talks to the cat now, as if it were a person, and it responds in a series of mew's and meow's. She disappears from school for hours or sometimes days, and shows up looking disheveled sometimes. Sleeps in class other times. One day he spots her heading home from school late, around the time he finishes baseball practice. And she hasn't noticed he's there. This is it, Lime thinks. She's not being diligent; it's finally time to catch her in the act. Figure out what she's always up to, sneaking around.
In about 2 hours, he wished he hadn't. What started as a poor man's incognito stalking mission turned into what he could only describe as "being isekai'd into his own world". One minute, he's following her down an alleyway, the next minute...stuff is happening. Objects are being thrown. People are jumping, fighting, flying in the air. Swords, knives, bullets,...sludge? At one point, a tree comes from out of nowhere and smashes a...person(?) into a building, at another point, a different person gets thrown 50 feet tumbling past him on the pavement like someone tried to use a ragdoll as a bowling ball. He only realizes upon second look that this bowling-ball-ragdoll was Mochi. Beaten up and somehow with different clothes than he had seen her in 5 minutes ago.
She coughs, swears, looks up, and then meets his eyes. There's a brief moment of recognition and panic on her face. Oh, he realizes, maybe too late: I'm in the middle of all of this. Oh, he realizes, again too late, whoever this person is that Mochi is fighting is pointing...something, a limb or a weapon, directly at him. He (it?) plans to hit Mochi, and he's just in the path of fire. He puts his hands up as a reflex to block it, and in a flash of light...nothing happens. It feels more like a light breeze than anything, yet the dumpster and part of the building behind him get obliterated. Huh? Is he dreaming? Or hallucinating?
The person(?) gears up for another attack at Mochi, and she jumps behind Lime just in time to not get blasted again. The blast bounces off. The shock of being used as a human shield shakes his voice loose. "DON'T HIDE BEHIND ME, THE FUCK?!"
"Just stay there!"
And in another second, she's off scaling buildings in a jump. Is that a broomstick? Where did she get that sword now? How is it glowing pink? Oh, he should probably run, he thinks. Is he in shock? Somehow, he's almost in a trance watching everything happen.
He can't even describe what happens afterwards. A barrage of flashes, a glowing inscription in a circle on the floor, the person(?) is suspended in midair between buildings in glowing golden chains. There is a blast, and a scream that doesn't sound human, and suddenly Mochi is standing alone in an alleyway with a black cloak and a pointed black hat, panting. Just as quick, she's in her school uniform and turning to him. She looks like she got the shit beat out of her.
His brain works again. "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, YOU FREAK?!"
He can barely take two steps backwards before something shoots out from around her, wraps him up, and he falls limp on the ground. Somehow, he finds himself cartoonishly bound in much more rope than is necessary, with a hankercheif tied in his mouth to shut him up. His body scoots down the alleyway towards her with nothing pulling him, and she crouches down. "Sorry! I'm sorry-- I really need you to shut the hell up." This is the most emotion he's ever seen from her. A medium-sized cast-iron frying pan manifests in her hand. He'd question how, but his immediate thought was Oh god, please don't.
She does. With a swing and comicly loud pang!
"Are you for real with the cast iron?" was the first coherent mumble Lime managed to spit out after he woke up and gathered himself. He had no idea where he was. Perhaps in a very odd dream still. There was Mochi, a bit more expressive than she had been when he had seen her, though not as much as she was during that fight. Behind her is her mother, Mrs. Catbelle, who he's only ever interacted with to be polite if he sees her outside her tea shop. "Isn't it better for cooking?"
"...What?"
"The cast iron," Mochi says, as if it were obvious. He looks at her like she's stupid. "I meant why hit me with a cast-iron pan, dumbass?!"
What followed was the strangest situation he had ever been in (so far). Tied up in a chair in what he could now see was a very strange greenhouse with a large iron pot in the middle, plants everywhere, oddities on the shelf (bugs, old shoes, broken wood, empty shampoo bottles), several cats, two broomsticks, a tea shop owner, and a young girl with pink eyes and a black pointed hat.
In this strange situation, Mochi first tried sticking several pieces of paper with strange symbols to his face. Similar to that day in the hallway, she started with one and then stared at him. Every time he muttered something like "What the fuck?" or "Can someone tell me what is happening?!" she stuck another piece of paper on his face. After about 5 or 6 pieces were on him (so much that 1 or 2 had already fallen off), he heard her cat say something about high magic resistance. Wait, he heard her cat say? "I knew you could talk, you fucking cat!!" was all he could get out. The cat then commented on his limited vocabulary and lack of critical thinking, given the situation. Fuck this cat.
Also in this strange situation, he cycled through fear and rage about twice every 10 seconds. Now they were deciding his fate right in front of him, completely ignoring him while doing so. "We can't wipe his memory; the spell won't take effect." Huh?
"What about Madam Springs?"
Who?
"She has options, but they're temporary. We'd have to make him take the medicine every day. I don't know how we would force that."
"I don't suppose letting him go scot-free is an option either."
What?! Why not?!
"Do you trust him enough for that?"
After Mrs. Catbelle asked this, Mochi turned around to give Lime a look. A look of evaluation with a quick decision, like seeing a burned piece of toast and realizing it can't be used to make a sandwich. "...I guess not." Yeah, that tracks.
The very rude cat then pipes in with something about a guild. Mochi appears not to like this suggestion very much, judging by the tone of her "What? Seriously??"
"Indeed", the rude cat explains, "If he's in your guild, he can't report you lest they arrest him as well. Anything you're tied up in, he's tied up in. It's the only way to protect both yourself and him."
The last part he understood well enough. Mochi seems to look at him in deep thought. "...Mutual destruction, huh?" she mutters softly, and he catches it.
But she seems adamant to not lock him into something he doesn't want, she tells Mrs. Catbelle and the rude cat. What is this weird benevolence she's now showing? She pulls up a chair in front of him and tells him: she promises to explain everything. She tells him she has a reason for everything she does, every way she acts. She asks him to be part of this "guild" (that he doesn't even understand yet), and in exchange, she will do whatever he asks of her, whenever he asks it of her, if it's in her power to do so.
...what?
"Whatever I want?" He says with a smirk and a sneer, but her expression is unchanged. The same expression of gentle patience she always wears.
"I can't do anything magic on you, but if there's anything I can do for you, I will. Name it." She goes on to list the classic things. Money, status, healing sickness in family members, instantly fixing a faucet, summoning rain; She adds, among the list, "--getting the answer sheet for tests--" and he cuts her off with "Okay stop, we don't need to do that."
He thinks for a while and looks at her with scrutiny. "I want you to stop abusing the school and the system and work honestly for once." His voice has a hiss of resentment. Her expression is unchanged. "Done."
He thinks for a while longer and looks at her with scrutiny. Suddenly, his mind can't really think of anything meaningful to ask for, besides stupid shit like a PS5 or McDonald's. He feels fucking stupid, and hopes she can't read minds.
"You don't have to come up with a list right now." Thank god. "But this...is also not the most uhm...safe and boring thing to agree to. There's going to be...a lot going on and uh--" She seems to fumble this part of her words, like she's trying to not scare him. He gets what she's getting at, though. "Like tonight?"
"Like tonight."
He thinks back for a second. Actually, it was kind of like a cool video game. And if he remembered correctly, he seemed to be immune to things? Maybe he's still in shock.
"Am I going to die, be honest." It's a question. He says it like a sentence.
She blinks. "I mean...you could die randomly at any time anyway?" Fair point.
Suddenly, he has the urge to do cool shit. Is this for real? If he says yes to this, he's not sure what it entails, but it sounds like...an adventure? Of some kind? Is he being dumb or brainwashed? His brain is switching between grown-up logic and a childlike curiosity. Most people watch cartoons, read books, dream of those adventures finding them. Surely this can't be it. Maybe it is? He's sitting there in silence. She's still looking at him with eyes like starlight.
There's a sudden shift in her demeanor. It's humility with a desperate undertone. A short crack in what he is starting to realize is a carefully crafted facade. Her eyes flutter as she blinks, and she breathes sharply. "Please, Lime." It's a beg. Ugh. Fuck off.