I Like Planes

DNI is basic criteria

-homophones

-Racist

-Xenophobes

-Radqueers

-Proshippers

Not usually a topic i bring up but I had to because this is like the first time anything like this has happened, also wrote most of this on the bus home not too long ago so excuse any mistakes or anything ahahaaaaaa…….

Okay, to preface, I have diagnosed and medicated ADHD which might?? explain this, even then it’s still weird

And at the time i was on medication too soo…. Yknow just adds to the weirdness of it

So, I was in IT class and something weird was already happening, didnt feel all there and when my teacher was explaining something to me I’d like deadpan stare at them, space out, space back in and then forget everything they just said

Anyway fast forward to science class, at the start I was a little bit spaced but still there, THEN and idk what happened but I’m fucking GONE like I’m half there? I couldn’t focus on anything at all, in my head I was still mostly there? As in my internal monologue was and on occasion my memory recall was decent, as for thinking? Blurry as fuck, like I wasted a good 5 minutes doing something that the question already had done for me (a graph of how many tons of something were created that year) i have to think to myself “MOOOVE DUDE FUCKING DO STUFF”

like when i usually space out, usually i only have to move slightly to get out of the spaced out feeling, this time it was like being spaced out was the default? Like I’d try to un-space out and then just become slightly less spaced out than i was, so i had the choice of either being very spaced out or just really spaced out (in this situation very is worse than really)

One thing i remember most about it was me like reaching over to turn to the next page, kind of like play with the page then internal monologue “TURN THE PAGE!!!” And then I did.

Besides that not much happened, I was using a booklet and I’m gonna use a gif to describe:

Now, I think I did this without thinking? Or something because it didn’t feel like me doing it.

Then, class nears the ends for lunch and I pack my back, but I did it faster than I had been doing anything before so it felt like I was only vaguely doing all of it, if that makes sense? When I was packing my actions only felt like I was vaguely doing them / on instinct / muscle memory ALMOST type thing.

Class ends, I stand up, don’t register the bell goes off and sits there, staring into nothingness until I look up to my teacher who makes a gesture to the door and says “you can go” so I do.

I meet my friends out of class and like I’m still in this weird state of spaced the fuck out, walking felt wrong everything felt off really, and when I speak it’s very short and I have to think about what I’m gonna say longer than I usually do, talking is a bit weird but not incredibly hard, though it lacked as much emotion as I’d usually put into it, and also I just didn’t want to talk as much as usual, only wanted to talk to one friend i like to talk to, and staying relatively quiet.

We walk to the spot go to at lunch, and wait for the door to be opened

(it’s not the cafeteria but a separate room somewhere else in the school we go to, not for any specific reason other than it’s small and quiet)

So the teacher who usually opens the room for us was held up and the group split up into the three who went outside and four(ish? I don’t remember) who went to the cafeteria, me, I’m my not-all-there state barely catch on to the fact everyone’s moving and I kind of just follow the ones going to the cafeteria, I wait for a bit, leave, and and then go outside to the others, the whole time I had the same feeling of an awkward child in somewhere new just kind of quietly moving around.

Eventually the room opens, and we go inside, we all sit at our table and talk, except me who either blankly stares at the wall, or my friend opposite me, and sometimes when I push myself to I’ll talk to the friend opposite me or the one standing up by the end of the table like this:

There were other friends sitting next to me and to other friend but they weren’t really talking to me except one at the other end of the table who was showing me memes, I’d usually laugh but instead I was just doing thumbs up and occasionally saying “ok”

Again, if I’m doing stuff with my hands they feel more like me than before but still kind of like they’re vaguely not me doing them.

Lunch ends, I pack up (this time not feeling like it wasnt me doing it) then getting up and going to my last class of the day, that class was okay, and it was when I started to return back to focus and the weirdness from earlier faded out and I returned to normal, then after school (I stayed back for afterschool club stuff) I felt normal again.

Very weird! Still dont know what the fuck that was and to my memory I’ve never had an experience like that before.

Finally some closing thoughts I forgot to add were:

- I described it as that one skeleton pirate gif, yknow the one people use to describe slow controls? It’s because it felt like everything I did had input lag and took more effort than usual