you are safe

hmm... from what i'm understanding, it sounds like you're reacting a bit strangely as you try coping through your intrusive urges, yes?

to start with, id like to say that's very normal when it comes to recovering. people always say recovery isn't easy, but they don't understand just how difficult it can be when it gets to this point — unintentionally lashing out and or isolating is very valid, and it's not your fault you're like this. im so sorry for how negatively this has been affecting your relationship, hypersexuality is just such a terrible killer.

for helping yourself ground and come back to your senses, i'd recommend practicing mindfulness, not necessarily with anyone at first if that makes it easier. ask yourself, is this really worth losing your partner over? take deep breaths, and realize your own behaviors.

i think the best thing to do for the both of you would be to talk about this, as hard as i know that will be. but it sounds like one end thinks this behavior is harmful, while the other end thinks it's not, and while i'm definitely not good at helping in relationship related problems, i truly think you two just need to talk... you'll never know if things get better if you don't put in the effort to help yourself.

@hypersexuality-vents is unfortunately not so active anymore, but i'm sure you might find an answer or someone to relate to while scrolling through!

you know, this is one thing nobody ever talks about. the physical pain that happens to come with hypersexuality. i'm right there with you, my legs and wrists have hurt a lot before!

i'm not sure how far this'll take you, but i do follow lots of stretching methods made for artists / excessive work and so on. here's one i often come back to, made by @.bruderkaitlin on twitter!

it's so ironic when you consider too much stretching ends up hurting you more. so please take this in moderation. hydration can definitely play a big role, so can you try taking water breaks for me? whatever you're doing, every so often, i want you to straighten your back, unclench your jaw and take a few gulps of water.

unfortunately this is all i can really offer, but i'm sure a good bit of stretching can do wonders for you. it's definitely better than nothing, right?

!! i just want to be open about who i am, is that...wrong? i want to connect with people who share the same struggles but being told not to feels so bad and like i need to hide myself more and drown myself in smut and drawing my persona as an incubus because of my past ..

sorry if this is too much,,, its just. i feel like im hypersexual and i want to wear the label as a fuck you and to feel less ashamed about it and who i am but im told its bad... is it really? i feel so new navigating in hypersexual spaces

hello! firstly, im incredibly sorry for getting to this a month later. i hope you're still here!

now, im not gonna argue with professional therapists, though i see where they are coming from. did you explain in further detail to them? while i definitely understand it's not good to dwell and hold your traumas close, i also have to side with you here, and i fully applaud you wanting to reclaim it!

the way i'm seeing it, you want to take back the body that you feel was stolen from you. i hope i'll be that strong someday! honestly, i don't see you as a bad person. you just want to be angry, and you deserve to be. we all do.

again... i understand your therapist suggesting not to do this. but listen to me here — so long as you're not intensifying your intrusive urges or hurting anyone, i would say you're just fine.

the reason my ex did such a horrible thing to me was to "fix" my asexuality. even though i still feel little to no sexual attraction towards people, my sexual thoughts and desires make me feel as if they've succeeded in erasing the asexuality from me.

please tell me they didn't succeed

please tell me life will become better and that there's still hope for me

please

i really need it

they did not succeed. your life will very much become better as your future isn’t written. i know you can keep going.

i’m so incredibly sorry for what’s happened to you, i really am. what your ex did was horrible, disgusting and vile in everyway imaginable and you didn’t deserve any of it in the slightest. as hard as it is to accept, the fact you orgasmed was only a human response. i fully doubt you found actual enjoyment in what was happening. 

having those thoughts and urges is unfortunately just a part of this terrible thing we can only call hypersexuality. but the fact you still feel no attraction to people tells me you are still asexual! asexuality does not rely on your thoughts or even if you masturbate and have sex; we all know it’s quite literally just defined as lack of sexual attraction to others. 

if it’s anything, i totally get it you know? my groomer made me think i was just gray-asexual, then afterwards i was only faking any of those sexualities because i fell into the mindset that i was enjoying what they did to me.

i guess a saving grace in this is that i'm not confident with drawing porn, but i feel like if i did it'd get it out of my head. it seems like getting all my other thoughts out on paper gets rid of them, so i figure why not try with this?

this is more of a vent but if you have advice it'd be appreciated (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠)

hi there! sorry for such a late response!

to start off, i completely understand, and all of which you've described is even valid in itself. though you don't necessarily have to go looking to make yourself “valid” in every single situation, so that's truly okay that you don't feel so. and gradually growing numb to porn, sex, etc is normal too, i can confirm. basically: its okay! you're okay!

and while i would usually encourage people to vent out their frustrations and feelings with drawing, music or whatever they like, i’m not sure this would be a good solution for you. there’s always the possibly of your hypersexuality acting up the second you finish up drawing something. i can at least say that you could very well try, but please be careful!

from the first few sentences i did immediately think of just hormonal urges, but reading further i started to see that you might be hypersexual?

feeling guilty and crying due to your thoughts and urges can be terrible, i know how it is! usually if it's only hormones acting up, being a teenager as you are, people don't tend to worry about it, considering it's (typically) a natural mindset for the body at those ages.

but if you are indeed getting to the point of those thoughts becoming too loud to think straight, or feeling genuinely guilty as you said for just having them, that definitely tells me something... and to add, hypersexuality doesn't have to stem from any sort of trauma as it tends to in most people! it's ok to just... have it. whether it be from media convincing you this is how you should act or something like that, it's ok. there's nothing wrong with you.

thats fantastic!! thank you so much for telling me. :)

im not quite sure what to say to this, but i do hope you feel better getting it off your chest. i will always listen. please excuse this late response!

im 100% certain all of what youve described isnt the slightest bit true, anon. though anonymous, i know you must be a wonderful person, who knows very well they didn't deserve whatever happened to them and or is currently happening to them. i know you have a bright future and you shouldn't let your past define yourself in any way, and you definitely don't exist to be a sex toy.

your life is not made up of sexual desires and impulses as you describe, i know that for sure, nobodies life is. im sure you have other things to put your energy into rather than indulging with these troublesome thoughts.