It’s Called a Hyperfixation

i did try to tell them it was just HER personal preference, but they just kept saying it was wrong. i also meantioned how others ship straight ships, despite one or both characters being gay(like Mizi x Ivan, Mizi x Till, Sua x Ivan)

Because under the post about giving minors the right to medically consent, people are spreading a ton of misinformation on this - largely because they just do not question the stuff they just assume are "normal". Which here is: "kids are all afraid of needles and therefore if we let them consent or not to medical proceedures, they would just not consent and not get vaccinations, because needles hurt".

And, look. Here is the thing: no, needles do not actually hurt a whole lot. And while, yes, certain procedures that involve being stabbed by a needle hurt more if you are younger for a bunch of reasons... that is actually not the main reason children fear needles. Because, again: the pain is not that bad. And most kids, especially young kids, whose motor skills are still developing, usually will have a bunch more hurting scratches, bruises and the like at any given moment than there will be pain from the needle.

No, from what research can tell, the main reason kids are afraid of needles, is more that for many of them needle procedures are very traumatizing. And that is largely because of the consent issue.

Imagine you are a person who is still pretty darn new to that whole human thing. So for one, yes, your brain is actually not that great in understanding what pain is dangerous and what pain is a safe limit of pain. So yes, someone intentionally hurting you (like with a needle) is really kinda scary. But then there is also the thing where this person hurting you is not telling you why they are doing. The people who you normally trust with keeping you safe (your family) is betraying you, by just holding you down and scolding you for crying over it. Or maybe it is not your family, but some strange nurse who is holding you. And while you are scared, because someone is intentionally hurting you, while someone else is restricting you, the adults around you are telling you, that your emotional reaction to this is actually bad and you are wrong for reacting that way. They might in fact lie to you and tell you that something that is insanely scary to you is "not that bad", instead of just understanding that it is super scary to you. And that is then what you start to expect whenever you see a doctor prepare a needle: people holding you down, hurting you without reason, and telling you that you are wrong for being upset, actively gaslighting you.

We have research on this. And this research is pretty clear: most kids are actually somewhat okay with needles, if you inform them why you are doing it, allow for them to have their emotions, talk to them about their emotions, and allow for them to set at least some conditions.

And frankly, I hate how many people just accept the framing of "kids are naturally afraid of this because it hurts". Like, folks, I know y'all are fucking Americans and that in your culture it is kinda normalized to like put kids into like some sort of fortified hamsterball to stop them from like doing typical kids stuff. But... let me tell you: if you do not do that, kids will actually very regularly engage in dangerous play that they know will often end up in injuries that are going to hurt. And, no, they are not to dumb to understand that. The kids know that this is what might happen because of their play. They actually just take the risk. Yes, they will cry if they get hurt, because - again - their nervous system is still calibrating how it relates to pain. But they will likely do that thing again and again. I can tell you: I fell down a tree so often during my childhood, and I still climbed it. Again and again. So did most kids I knew. Like, fuck, we lived next to a forest. We played "Tarzan", and tried to go along paths without touching the ground. And we fell. A lot. And we still did it.

Public health would be so much better if nurses didn't literally pin kids to a table while they scream to give them vaccinations. I don't think that's necessary ever. And it can give them trauma for life that will impact their ability to access health care as an adult

I hate saying that I have medical trauma because my medical experiences were mostly "normal" routine stuff, I didn't have cancer or any kind of chronic health condition or unusual rare illness. But I still got traumatized, or at least had a response that was very similar to trauma

because my whole entire experience of going to the doctor was "a bunch of adults forcibly do whatever they feel like doing with my body" whether stripping off my clothes, touching me everywhere, sticking needles in me, or hurting me in some way I didn't understand

And I know almost everyone with similar experiences didn't end up nearly as Fucked Up as I did over it, but holy shit was I fucked up over it

I literally didn't even know that medical consent was a thing until I was 19...like I thought that if you went into a doctor's office or hospital they could just do whatever they wanted...unless you ran out of there I guess, or managed to plead/cry/convince them otherwise???...

But I don't know how the hell I was supposed to automatically know better, since even when I was 15 I got blood drawn while I was crying and saying "no no no no no."

But not with needles.

Catheters.

Every year they’d hold me down and put this tube in.

“It’s like a wet spaghetti noodle”, they’d tell me. They had me color in this doll and make her look like me because apparently it was supposed to help me feel better.

They’d have me take off all my clothes and get into this flimsy gown. And then they’d put me on a table and wheel me to this room with cameras and x rays.

They’d explain the procedure…that they were gonna put the wet spaghetti noodle up inside me. They said to spread my legs frog style. And then they’d put it up there and I’d move and scream because I was scared and I hated it but they’d come and hold me down and they’d get it in and then it would hurt and then they’d keep it in and put some kind of fluid inside to make the x rays see what was going on inside better and then they’d make me expel it in front of them.

Because under the post about giving minors the right to medically consent, people are spreading a ton of misinformation on this - largely because they just do not question the stuff they just assume are "normal". Which here is: "kids are all afraid of needles and therefore if we let them consent or not to medical proceedures, they would just not consent and not get vaccinations, because needles hurt".

And, look. Here is the thing: no, needles do not actually hurt a whole lot. And while, yes, certain procedures that involve being stabbed by a needle hurt more if you are younger for a bunch of reasons... that is actually not the main reason children fear needles. Because, again: the pain is not that bad. And most kids, especially young kids, whose motor skills are still developing, usually will have a bunch more hurting scratches, bruises and the like at any given moment than there will be pain from the needle.

No, from what research can tell, the main reason kids are afraid of needles, is more that for many of them needle procedures are very traumatizing. And that is largely because of the consent issue.

Imagine you are a person who is still pretty darn new to that whole human thing. So for one, yes, your brain is actually not that great in understanding what pain is dangerous and what pain is a safe limit of pain. So yes, someone intentionally hurting you (like with a needle) is really kinda scary. But then there is also the thing where this person hurting you is not telling you why they are doing. The people who you normally trust with keeping you safe (your family) is betraying you, by just holding you down and scolding you for crying over it. Or maybe it is not your family, but some strange nurse who is holding you. And while you are scared, because someone is intentionally hurting you, while someone else is restricting you, the adults around you are telling you, that your emotional reaction to this is actually bad and you are wrong for reacting that way. They might in fact lie to you and tell you that something that is insanely scary to you is "not that bad", instead of just understanding that it is super scary to you. And that is then what you start to expect whenever you see a doctor prepare a needle: people holding you down, hurting you without reason, and telling you that you are wrong for being upset, actively gaslighting you.

We have research on this. And this research is pretty clear: most kids are actually somewhat okay with needles, if you inform them why you are doing it, allow for them to have their emotions, talk to them about their emotions, and allow for them to set at least some conditions.

And frankly, I hate how many people just accept the framing of "kids are naturally afraid of this because it hurts". Like, folks, I know y'all are fucking Americans and that in your culture it is kinda normalized to like put kids into like some sort of fortified hamsterball to stop them from like doing typical kids stuff. But... let me tell you: if you do not do that, kids will actually very regularly engage in dangerous play that they know will often end up in injuries that are going to hurt. And, no, they are not to dumb to understand that. The kids know that this is what might happen because of their play. They actually just take the risk. Yes, they will cry if they get hurt, because - again - their nervous system is still calibrating how it relates to pain. But they will likely do that thing again and again. I can tell you: I fell down a tree so often during my childhood, and I still climbed it. Again and again. So did most kids I knew. Like, fuck, we lived next to a forest. We played "Tarzan", and tried to go along paths without touching the ground. And we fell. A lot. And we still did it.

Public health would be so much better if nurses didn't literally pin kids to a table while they scream to give them vaccinations. I don't think that's necessary ever. And it can give them trauma for life that will impact their ability to access health care as an adult

I hate saying that I have medical trauma because my medical experiences were mostly "normal" routine stuff, I didn't have cancer or any kind of chronic health condition or unusual rare illness. But I still got traumatized, or at least had a response that was very similar to trauma

because my whole entire experience of going to the doctor was "a bunch of adults forcibly do whatever they feel like doing with my body" whether stripping off my clothes, touching me everywhere, sticking needles in me, or hurting me in some way I didn't understand

And I know almost everyone with similar experiences didn't end up nearly as Fucked Up as I did over it, but holy shit was I fucked up over it

I literally didn't even know that medical consent was a thing until I was 19...like I thought that if you went into a doctor's office or hospital they could just do whatever they wanted...unless you ran out of there I guess, or managed to plead/cry/convince them otherwise???...

But I don't know how the hell I was supposed to automatically know better, since even when I was 15 I got blood drawn while I was crying and saying "no no no no no."

In the queer fandom community itself, it’s never aro and ace people that get the spotlight. It’s first and foremost romantic/sexual slash ships that get the spotlight, and then maybe het or femslash. Put aside being aspec for a second: friendships are undervalued in general, seen as less important than romance.

This one doesn’t apply to anime as much, but asexuality in modern media isn’t treated nearly as well as queer romance. Outside of the battle shonen/anime space, there are several IPs these days where queer romances are canon, seen and well respected. Most asexual characters, in contrast, aren’t written well. They conform to stereotypes, barely get their asexuality mentioned, and in egregious cases has even been presented as not real/something to be cured.

This is even more true for aromantic characters, by the way. At least asexual characters have bad representation, because aro ones have crumbs. Almost all aspec characters are asexual in some way, aroace mostly and alloace sometimes. Arospec and alloaro characters aren’t seen in the limelight.

To put it simply, aspects get way, way less time in the limelight than allo queer characters, especially in more recent anime.

For the record, I’m not denying that queer romantic relationships get suppressed/erased, both by straight fandom spaces and by greedy editors/companies/executives, especially in areas like the battle shonen space, where two guys can kiss twice and still be seen as just friends. But trust me, they’re not trying to cater to aspecs.

Like, yeah, canonically Yoshikaru is a queerplatonic relationship between Yoshiki and an aroace man that explicitly states the love he feels for Yoshiki is not specifically romantic. But there's basically no consideration for how allo queer people would take "hey you know that queer relationship you like and resonate with that you think represents you? Well actually you're WRONG they're NOT ACTUALLY DATING" after dealing with basically that exact thing from homophobes regarding characters that are either actually confirmed to be dating or have pretty blatant subtext.

I've also seen quite a few aroace people say that any allo queer desire to see queer romance represented is somehow innately amatonormative and regressive.

I agree that aroace people are not the enemy here and that we should be making progress together, but sometimes it feels like some aroace people don't really recognize that's going to mean more queer romance too.

it's so beautiful seeing how love can change someone for the better, expressing his yearning to see him again out loud to asako, without mental barriers shaming him back to his place of comfort, and even being capable to properly mourn hikaru, wondering if his soul is out there somewhere far away, catching on the appeal of 'hikaru's vision about life too.

the human coming to understand and love the monster's philosophy, while the monster punishes himself for his lack of humanity. they will meet in the middle soon.

you were my best friend (it feels like i don't know you anymore.)

jujutsu kaisen (ch. 90) / the summer hikaru died (ch. 6)