the current came in

Black cilantro margaritas ladies!!!!

last night i had a dream that they measured the worlds smallest kitten with a ruler in front of the president on live tv and it was 2.38 millimeters big it was smaller than a water droplet and the scientist measuring the kitten said "i have never seen anything like this in my life"

girl it’s just a 3 day trip, you do not need to bring your terracotta warriors 🙄

And I swear I will remain fergalicious through it all!! (was not fergalicious to begin with)

are you gonna let me kiss your tummy or what bro

lowkey youve been acting like a good boy lately bro

The idea that you shouldnt fuck your friends is wild. Theyre the ones who like me and make me laugh and take care of me. Who else am i supposed to fuck? A stranger?

i havent the faggiest idea what youre talking about

Your faggotry precedes you