A fill for @hurtkylofest day 14: sleep deprivation
705 words, hints of kylux
Kylo hasnât slept in days.
He thinks itâs been days, anyway. Time has ceased to have any meaning for him a while ago, disappearing when he grew more tired and disorientated. He only knows there was a mission gone wrong, a sharp disconnect that came with force suppressing drugs, and a rogue mercenary group eager to rough him up. They werenât the Resistance, but they sure as hell likes the Resistance a whole lot more that they did the First Order. They beat him up, but still fancied themselves moral enough not to outright torture him. But not moral enough to stick a bag on his head and deny him sleep.
Kylo could take their beatings. He was used to the pain and they werenât that good at it, hitting with their fists blindly, causing too much injuries and too little pain for it to have any effect as an interrogation or subjugation technique. But the lack of sleep was a lot worse.
It was bearable, for the first two days or so. His muscles ached for staying in one position for so long and he did feel himself growing even weaker, but it wasnât anything he hadnât endured before. But it got worse as hours passed and his captors stopped him from falling asleep for more than a couple of minute. They would scream or hit him or electrocute him, not enough to truly hurt, but enough to startle him awake.
Things started becoming foggy after the third day mark. Kylo wasnât sure how much time had passed since then, but it was getting worse. His headache slowly became obliterating, leaving him unable to move, even as his body trembled with exhaustion. He felt cold and nauseous, as if he was running a fever, and similarly disorientated. At times he forgot where he was or why or with whom. He thought he saw his mother, humming a familiar lullaby, and then his uncle, watching him with unreadable expression, lightsaber in hand. He heard Snokeâs voice, telling him how weak he was, how unworthy of Vaderâs legacy, if he could not pass even this test. He tried to tell him how it was wrong, how he had passed tests even his grandfather had never faced, but he did not have the strength to do it.
Sleep was the only thing he could think of, a need stronger than hunger or pain.
At least he saw Hux coming to him, gentle hands lifting a fabric from his head and touching his face.
âForce, Ren,â the image before him whispered. âWhat had they done to you?â
Kylo blinked drowsily at the light, unused to it after so long. Huxâs face was before him, beautiful and familiar, getting in and out of focus. Kylo tried to speak, but his throat was parched and aching like the rest of him, so no sound came. There were hands on him, roaming and checking for injuries, and then fingers coming back to his head to play with his hair. It was nice, so he leaned into the touch.
âWhere is the stretcher and the med droid?â Hux screamed at something behind him, which Kylo could not see. It was a little weird. He was sure he was upright a moment ago, but now he was lying down cradled on Huxâs lap, with arms surrounding him. There were footsteps and shouts all around him, but he couldnât really hear them through the fog in his head. It was all beyond him.
Kylo closed his eyes and passed out.
When he woke up back on the Finalizer, safe and recovered and alone, he didnât know what happened. How much of it was true? Did Hux really come to his rescue or was that just another hallucination? He couldnât believe his own mind and couldnât ask anyone, certainly not Hux himself, lest he faced Huxâs contempt when it turned out not to be true. Hux was too cold and logical to ever risk leading a rescue mission himself, no matter what comforts Kyloâs mind had conjured. He knew it. He didnât want to hear it.
In the end, it was easier to believe Hux would come for him, even if it wasnât the truth.
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