a very hungy Sinner's diary

[ Today, another run was attempted by Zen. ]

[ Another, and another, and another, and another, and another and another and another and anotherand another an danother a ndanothe randan oth erand anot ]

[ This time, there was no composure to hold. Zen was breathing heavily, unable to handle the pressure that their failures and sins have built upon. They couldn’t— it felt as though all the sins suddenly weighing down on them were growing. it seemed to truly be embedded in Zen’s soul, hanging right under their skin, ready to crawl out and hurt anyone who would even come close to them. ]

[ looking at their worn out appearance, Zen looked as if ready to explode. They’d been trying so hard to improve on themselves, how was it not working? How could they even let themselves indulge in sins so easily? …maybe they needed to try harder. Maybe… ]

[ Zen looked down at their arms. They gazed at the flowers embedded in their skin, flowers that almost seemed to have grown thorns— if they thought about it hard enough. No. They needed to get rid of their imperfections. They needed to get rid of it all. They needed and needed and neededa ndne eded and neededan dnee ded ]

[ It was difficult to think. Before Zen could even realise what they were doing, their claws had already grown embedded in their arms. Blood had begun trickling down, and while the pain hurt badly— something about it felt relieving. Something… good. ]

[ A moment they needed to relish in. ]

[ the more their claws moved, the worse the pain got, the better they seemed to feel. Just for a moment— they had forgotten about everything, in the belief that, maybe this would rid them of their sins. After all, they’ve noticed how their own existence looked. ]

[ Flawed. ]

[ Full of problems that only seemed to grow worse and worse as time went on. ]

[ And, while Zen’s always hid it fully— perhaps even to themselves, it’s always simmered inside of them. And, despite how they’ve always sounded, or looked, or maybe even acted… ]

[ Zen knew it would come to bite them in the end. ]

[ is is truly the end, though? ]

[ or is it… another beginning? ]

[ Zen found themselves covered in their own blood, staring in shock. Their senses were coming back— how… did they let go of themselves this much? They stood in the room, all alone, unsure what to truly do. The sharp pain was settling it— damn did it hurt. And yet… ]

[ maybe, in a twisted world, they didn’t truly mind their current physical appearance. The way their colors shifted in hue. The way… sins had wormed their way into Zen’s life. How the stars on their chest grew into a more sickly and sweeter form. Their wings turned sharper, almost as a demon’s wings would look. Their flowers grew more thorns which clung to their skin, while cracks appeared upon their wounds. Perhaps… ]

[ Zen felt… relieved. ]

[ They smiled. ]

[ Not a fake smile— not a convincing smile. A sick, twisted kind of expression had formed upon their face. ]

[ For once, they could truly open their eyes upon the world they were living in. A world full of sins. ]

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[ EVIL!ZEN EVENT. ]

^ concept sketch of how I imagine evil!zen being like

Hiiii… it’s me… the mod of this account…. me and Zen’s colors are reversed….

Okay i’m gonna put soome ground rules that I’ll put in another post in case people do not wish to read through the introduction!!

-This is basically Zen starting to embrace their sins instead of trying to get rid of them! Their appearance has changed to the pinkish hue spoiled zen gets, plus they may act like the complete opposite of themselves!

-Honestly just don’t be weird lol jokes are allowed but ya. The usual!

-Zen will remain like such for. However long I wish for them to do so ^_^ they’re very cooked as you can see.

-Asks, RPs, and general interactions are VERY encouraged!

Have fun with evil Zen chat <3

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TAGS:

#perhaps.sins.are.better | Talking, answering asks

#I.No.Longer.Resent.You | Sins related interactions