unique, maybe even special

You son of a bitch. I never made one of these when you were still responding because I was so mad at you for leaving. And then when you went quiet, it felt like I should live with that decision, and I have. But today is my birthday. And it’s a special one, because you told me… you once told me that when you come back we might be the same age. And today I’m the same age you were when you left. So it would be a real good time for you to come back.

“I’ve got an idea. What? Wanna get high?”

Maddy knew who she was from a very early age. For as long as Maddy could remember, everybody loved her. She never knew exactly what it was. She just knew that she had something special, something intangible, something immeasurable. And it gave her confidence. That’s why she loved pageantry, because you didn’t have to be the prettiest or the tallest or the blondest or the whitest. You just had to have fucking confidence.

Whenever anything got too uncomfortable, Jules would just imagine that she wasn’t really herself, and this wasn’t really her life. She was just a character in a book or a movie or a show. That none of it was real, and if it was, how did it matter? It’s not like her body ever really belonged to her in the first place. But fuck it. She’d save it for the memoirs.