Kurt Hummel Is Here

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Maybe they’re just really good at hiding them. It’s like how elves are really secretive. You never really know, you just notice things happen when you’re not looking.

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You know.  Maybe you’re right, Brittany. 

Finn: Yeah there are rules but people still try.

Finn: Steroids, stealing signs, pitchers have stuff they try to cheat with. Throwing a pitch at somebody on purpose. Lots of ways.

Finn: Are I gonna have to give you a crash course?

Kurt: Hmm. I see.

Santana: /Of course/ you can do a spin jump. Why does that not surprise me?

Santana: Blaine, that was so cheesy and romantic that I would be gagging if I didn't know and love the two of you. But okay, fine. I believe you both.

Santana: We can record...but if I fall, we're deleting that immediately.

Blaine: I can't, actually. But I'd love to learn. Maybe next year!

Blaine: Good. Love you too, Santana.

Blaine: Alright, that sounds like a fair deal. Or we could just cut that part out of the recording.

blaineands​:

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I’m sorry for interupting the conversation, but while I’d be happy to get you guys in contact, I just want to make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into. Because him not taking guidance very easily is a bit of an understatement. Don’t get me wrong — if anyone’s able to convince him, it’s you, Santana, but still. It’s not going to be easy. He literally never takes advice from anyone.

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That would be really cool if you could. I appreciate you looking out…but I can turn on the charm and set things straight with him about what all I can provide. It’s a big task and it may take some time, but I think that we can make it happen. It is me, after all.

Blaine is right, Cooper never really takes advice.  I was talked out of getting him an acting book for Christmas.  I probably would have been on the naughty list had I wrapped that up.  But, I think you can handle him.   If anything, you just have to make Cooper thing that your idea was his in the first place.  He’s so into himself that he won’t even think twice about it.

Kurt: Probably for winning, right?

Finn: Probably. Or playing dirty or something.

Kurt: Aren't there rules against that?

Kurt: How does one "play dirty" with baseball anyway?

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Well, when it you put it that way…you’ve caught my attention. Look, I’m not picky. Everybody knows somebody, so I’m just thankful for the exposure to the biz. I’m happy to help out any of your friends, as long as they put in a good word about me to any top talent that they know. 

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Maybe we can even get Cooper involved? I know he doesn’t take guidance very easily.  If anything he thinks he knows everything, but maybe you can talk to Blaine.  He’ll be here for Christmas.

Santana: Until I see you do something horribly, Blaine, I'm just going to assume you're good at everything you do.

Santana: So, Kurt, you're going to be the one that ends up falling down and entertaining us all, right?

Santana: It won't be me.

Santana: But if I do fall, no one say anything about it.

Finn: Blaine's probably gonna get out there and like, spin jump the crap out of all of us.

Finn: We're not gonna say anything if you fall, but we'll save the video for later.

Kurt: While I do sometimes tend to wind up on my ass, I'm actually a good ice skater, Santana.

I don't really have a go to drink, but the last time I was at a bar I ordered a Rim Job.

Get your minds out of the gutter.

I collect brooches. Every time I go to flea market or thrift store I like to either find a vintage brooch, or find something I can make into one.

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Do noses get lonely? They don’t have a buddy like everything else…

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I don’t think they have feelings or anything, Brittany.

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Of course I’m right, it’s me. I’m always right about these things. 

I’d be happy to give you some discount or extra perks. Only you and our friends, though. I won’t extend it to a bunch of random people.

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Oh of course not- and I’m sure Blaine and I could both find you some random people since we’re involved in West Side Story.  I know it’s not exactly movie stars, but maybe a few Broadway hopefuls could use a little guidance.

Kurt: I don't know. My dad used to say it all the time when he was watching baseball.

Finn: Well yeah. He was probably mad at 'em for something.

Santana: I actually can see you being good at that? It just seems like you would be a pro at ice skating. 'Cause you're pretty much good at everything it seems.

Santana: Okay, even I can say that /that/ is pretty damn impressive. I would have fallen immediately.

Santana: I'm always in for a good time with all of our friends. We can ice skate, gossip, enjoy freezing our asses off. What isn't there to love?

Blaine: I'm flattered, Santana, but I can assure you that there are many things I'm not good at.

Blaine: Aw, thanks. Not sure if it's something to be proud of, as it was /very/ dramatic, but still. I appreciate it.

Blaine: Exactly! That sounds like a perfect combination to me. And let's not forget the amount of people-watching we'll get to do.

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You should, you would be perfect at something like. Why wait? I say jump on an opportunity that like that now. Then if you go viral, people will already know who you are which just adds to your fame.

My services are always available to you should you want to use them.

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You know, you might be right.  I can always promote it if we give some sort of Interview for West Side Story...

Do I get a family and friends discount?