Pogo: This says your blood pressure is 420 over 69.
Klaus: nice.
Pogo: you’re going to die
Klaus: n i c e.

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@humanspiritboard
Pogo: This says your blood pressure is 420 over 69.
Klaus: nice.
Pogo: you’re going to die
Klaus: n i c e.

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Klaus: Mid life crisis? No, no. Mid DAY crisis. Happens every day.
Hazel: Number Four, I apologize for trying to kidnap you the last time I was here. That was wrong of me.
Klaus, shrugging: It happens.
Ben: I mean... does it, though?
Five: You do this, and you die a legend.
Klaus: Can I pee first?
Ghost: *appears*
Klaus: ahh stoOOOP I could’ve dropped my CROISSANT

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Why no one’s talking about the time when Cha-Cha and Hazel kidnapped Klaus and he repeatedly said “No one’s gonna look for me, you got the wrong guy, no one’s gonna realise that I’m gone, no one’s gonna care” and I just…
Diego: Why is Klaus on the floor crying?
Five: he’s drunk.
Diego: and?
Five: he saw a picture of Dave’s boyfriend.
Diego:
Diego: but he’s Dave’s boyfriend.
Five: *sighs*
Klaus: *doing a vape tornado thingy on the table*
Ben: *blows*
Klaus: *whispers* BEN!
You know, there’s been a lot of stuff I’ve been dealing with.
klaus, wearing a shirt from the women’s section: see? unisex
dave: maybe you need sex. i just had it last night
klaus: no, dave, u-n-i sex
dave: i wouldn’t say no to that

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To anyone who kins my family, The Hargreeves
I was close with my family... or atleast i tried to be (other than dad because fuck dad)
Luther... it was a rare occasion when we would be haveing a good time together but it happened. He was more focused on Dad and being all serious about missions. But overall you where and are still a decently good leader. You got this monkey man
Diego... wonderful nice person one of my favorite brothers along with Ben. We would often sneek to eatchothers rooms, stay up late, get drunk sometimes. Good brother still is.
Allison... you're gorgeous honey! We would bond over some music and beauty tips. I would be her test subject when she couldent use Vanya to try a new makeup thing. Keep being you girl! We can get Claire back she sounds nice ill make brownies ;)
Five... old boi keep being you. Brave of you to poof away back when you did and glad to see you're back. Im not as stupid as when you left and you know that good sir!
Ben... you are the reason im alive today impulse controle. You and Diego where close to me. You didnt mind listening to my mindless rants or if i got drunk or high on the streets you would attempt to keep me from not doing anything deadly stupid. I loveya for it man
Vanya.... sweetheart we should have started that band. You on violin me on gutair and vocals and Diego on drums or something! He was intrested in it too! You seemed to always have it rough. I tried to bethere whenever Allison couldn't. You needed someone to talk to, someone to applaud your mini shows and accisidents. You did amazing and you still do amazing.
Grace.... mother i love you i really do but Diego loves you more trust me! 10/10 cookies. Angel of a mother with Satan for a father. Thanks mom keep being you.
Pogo...you where fun... sometimes.... when not being all serious you did have intrest in what all of us did with our spare time and you did your best when something happend to get us though. And for that thanks.
Fuck dad i dont give a shit on that bastered end of story
here’s my take on: Ben Was the Third Wheel in Vietnam™
Cha Cha: why are you so kinky
Klaus: I’m traumatised
I did an art im really proud
Klaus [explaining a plan to his siblings]: I know this isn't going to end well, but the middle part is gonna be awesome.

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Another bad memoir featuring Sir RegGiE HarGreeVes hImsElF
Im sleeping
Covers are ripped off and im like " WTF" as he starts yelling at me abour how im sleeping in and " you are supposed to save the world Number Four!" And bs like like, dissapointment ,yada, yada yada, dont do shit right, yada yada yada... everyone left on a mission. I am freaking the fuck out, old reggie still yelling on his way to lock me up in the dark with the dead for hours again. I quickly see that Mom is with Vanya, they both look shook.....
I just want some sleep
Chocolate is my addiction hell yea boiz