Full of Love and Rage and Caffeine

imagine you're Plato and you get resurrected and the first thing someone tells you is your name now means "not having sex" and you're like haha linguistic coincidences are wild and they're like no it's a direct reference to you as a person

it is of course easier to performatively ban children from social media than to do things like "actually challenge and regulate the abusive tactics tech companies use to extract people's data and money via social media" but if we did the second thing we wouldn't have any excuse to force people to use digital ID :(

Funny when someone introduces you to something, you get really into it, and then they lose all interest in it. Oh so you’re just going to abandon me at the party you invited me to. Dude you were my ride.

Alright gang pack it up a friend from high school just sent me a YouTube short with someone reading this post over Minecraft jumping because they recognized my name. We can move on now.

You should loudly boo every Democrat who attacks Trump’s deal with Iran for being too Iran-friendly. Any deal to end this war is a good deal. I do not care that we are returning the assets we stole from them. Cry about it. If you don’t want to make concessions to a country you consider an adversary, don’t start pointless wars with them and kill schools full of their children

due to popular demand you can now stream the Slur Song for free without Spotify, using my new streaming service slurify.co

Pretty amazing that the website dedicated entirely to streaming slurs is somehow more ethical than spotify

since there is such an "english speakers who don't even try to pronounce a foreign mame correctly" epidemic, native english speakers often try to overcorrect and end up thinking they have a moral imperative to pronounce every foreign name correctly at all times. so i'm gonna hold your hand and look into your eyss as i say this: you can't. you can't pronounce every sound in a language you don't speak. and that's fine. it happens to the rest of us too. we won't be mad so long as you try your best.

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

straight up 'unforchin it'. and by 'it', haha, well. let's justr say. my circumstants

ppl complain abt everyone being so boring/inauthentic/detached these days but the second u have interests they deem unusual theyll be like "waitttt thats giving neurodivergent..." like damn its so awesome that were pathologising giving a fuck about anything they dont sell at a tj maxx

You know that thing would eat you if you died, right? *pointing to the false image of you that others perceive*

Carla you need to find more lesbians somewhere what happened to my beautiful ottawa charge gayest team in the pwhl

one day marly is over and shane and ilya and him are playing like call of duty or some shit and marly is like “my mom would kick everyone’s ass at this game growing up and mami hated that we bonded over a killing game.” and ilya and shane stop and turn to marly at the same time who is just clicking away at buttons and shane is the first one to speak like “did you just say mom and mami?” and marly is like “yeah bro im adopted i got lesbian moms. mom is from boston, represent haha! and mami is from ecuador. roz never told you?” and ilya gives wide eyes and raised brows “marly you literally have never told me this.” and marly is like “oh my bad cap haha crazy.” and just goes back to playing the game

NEW YORK SIRENS YOU STILL HAVE NO GOALIES WHAT ARE YOU DOING

2 draft picks down and you still have no goalies signed.

3 draft picks down and you still have no goalies signed.

4 draft picks down and you still have no goalies signed.

They're planning to play empty net the whole season