I’m finishing up gifs of this D.P. scene and had to pause to write a thing about how crazy it makes me.
(S2E1) When Junho is promoted to team leader and assigned a new partner, we get this scene where he imagines he sees Hoyeol in the hallway, calling out to him as he leaves the office. HERE’S WHY THIS FUCKS ME UP:
• When Junho sees or imagines people who aren’t there, they are almost always manifestations of his guilt. People he felt he couldn’t save. Not so with Hoyeol—Hoyeol is like an emotional support manifestation. Junho is not having a good time back at the military base, and everyone he grew close to is gone. So did Junho dream up an imaginary-Hoyeol to cope with being alone? Or is Hoyeol already so wedged into his psyche that Junho can’t help imagining what he’d do or say, as he goes through the motions? Apparently at least one of these is a yes.
• Imaginary-Hoyeol (as real-Hoyeol does) calls Junho 아들/adeul, “son”—once to catch his attention and then again to say “My son has grown up so much.” Since Hoyeol wants to be 형/hyung to Junho, 아들/aduel is the other side of that, which the internet tells me is commonly used in the military like this. But since it literally means “son,” I can’t help thinking about the contrast between how Junho imagines Hoyeol would be proud of him and the way Junho’s actual father would likely never have expressed such a thing. butterfly meme Is this daddy issues?
• “You better not forget your hyung, okay? Got it?”* is how imaginary-Hoyeol ends the interaction. In reality, Hoyeol has been in the hospital for X months and hasn’t reached out to Junho once. Yet this is what Junho imagines him saying. Honestly, what the fuck?? It’s like Junho feels a responsibility towards Hoyeol too. WHICH HE DOES, like when he takes Hoyeol somewhere safe when he can’t cope with the Ruri situation, or when he gets between Hoyeol and the meow meow gang in the next episode.
One thing that really stands out about their relationship is how they are both fiercely protective of each other, so much so that they struggle to be honest with each other. We know Hoyeol couldn’t physically talk on the telephone, but might this also be part of the reason he never reached out? I don’t think he’s comfortable with Junho feeling responsible for him—because in Hoyeol’s eyes, it’s supposed to be the reverse.**
• This scene feels like Junho saying goodbye to his imaginary-Hoyeol. Thanks, I hate it!! Up to the point of getting a DP assignment and a new partner, Junho must have felt pretty aimless but with a new mission, he is locking in. If imagining Hoyeol has been his emotional support mechanism… he’s decided to put it aside? And then he does the “I’m so sad” shoulder sag about it when Hoyeol disappears?? C'MON MAN.
They are ridiculous.
*Compare “don’t forget me” to what Hoyeol actually says when they part ways, if you want to be sad (:
**Also note that upon learning Hoyeol can’t speak, Junho replies, almost with annoyance “You should still be in the hospital. What are you doing here?” Which Hoyeol anticipated he’d say—so Hoyeol guessed correctly Junho would be worried about him.
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