sniffs you. licks you

alright I’ve got a One Free Kinkshame pass that expires this week so I’m gonna go ahead and use it in response to some fairly surreal undertale porn i just saw: who the FUCK is whippin their dripper to skeletons with butt plugs crammed into their tail bones. i mean i know this is The Internet and all but i am at a loss. they’re bones, my dudes. you wanna stick your dick in some bones? you gonna stick your dick in some gotdamn bones? bones can’t feel, pal buddy. I’m sorry. they Can’t. butt plugs don’t work on bones. thats like plugging your HDMI cable into your electric toothbrush. its feasible but nothing is gonna happen, i promise. all i can imagine is what that would sound like. you shove some vibrating bullshit up into some bones and its just gonna be CLAKCLAKCLAKCLAKCLAKCLAKCLAKCLAK. gonna sound like all your grandma’s hanging lawn ornaments in a hurricane. you wanna fuck your grandma’s lawn ornaments? you wanna shove a butt plug in your grandma’s butterfly windsock and play your fiddle to it you piece of shit? Unbelievable

Please respect my privacy

my deepest apologies

I forgive you

Anyway me when I suck that pharaoh good and hard through his scaramphigousus

Seeing my friend Face Fuck Frank today

“Put it all in his pussy” I love it. He just wadded it all up and shoved it right in there. Crammed it all in. That expression should be commonplace too.

oof! ouch! hang on there's something stuck in my shoe *I remove my shoe and turn it over and a small wooden structure tumbles out* well fuck. looks like someone built a little birdhouse in my sole

it's so cringe how every song on the radio by a woman is about how good she is at having sex. id make a song about being ass at sex. i twist the dick like a pretzel and bite it off that's what id sing