M. Johnson

hello everybody its me ivy ruth langley. i am really struggling to feed myself consistently right now and keep any money to pay my bills. my bank account and credit card have both been overdrafted in the past 2 days because im dumb. i might have a job lined up and i am trying to sell shirts and finish commissions ASAP but i have been so panicked about my bills and living situation and feeding myself that i can barely do anything but freak out. i have been in a cycle of feeling like i cant make art that is worth money because i have to make perfect items to justify asking for peoples money and then being so broke and freaked out i cant do anything i feel is good enough. i am trying desperately and genuinely to have a different set up right now and coordinating with as many people as i can that i know to get out of this position.

i hate having to ask for money from people but i genuinely do not have any other choices right now because i need money to pay rent and do various other things. i have mostly been sleeping on floors for the past 3 months so that i can be in portland where my print studio is but it is deeply uncomfortable and i cant draw unless i am where my desk and drawing stuff is, in seattle. i have been avoiding making a post like this with every fiber of my being for like 7 months. my rent is monstrously high and i havent been able to get off of my lease because i cant get any savings. i cant get money to take hrt or do anything but stay in my room all day and im like extremely miserable all the time. all i eat is rice and canned tuna unless people give me extra food. i am trying to live as small and unobtrusively as possible.

if you are able to send me money it would help me extremely right now even if it is a small amount of money. my life is confusing and bad because i am an embarrassing fool.

my venmo and my cashapp are both bloodsad. my paypal is [email protected]. i have literally nothing meaningful to offer in return ATM but being alive and my extreme gratitude. the only thing i want on earth is to not think about any of this and draw pictures all day.

Let Mary Leave Us (2024)

Florida vs. Iowa

Investigating the differences in handmade paper made from the bark of the paper mulberry tree, or "kozo" as it is more popularly known in Japanese papermaking. The first image is a sheet formed from fiber harvested from a residential neighborhood in Gainesville, Florida. The second image is a sheet formed from fiber grown in a garden at the University of Iowa's Oakdale campus in Coralville, Iowa. There is an observable difference in the color and texture of the fibers, with the wild-grown Florida fiber being thicker and woodier than the cultivated Iowa fiber.

Purple washi with fiber drawings

Pigmented Iowa kozo

Front and Back of abaca sheet with saw palmetto inclusions

Pulp paintings

Handmade abaca paper with saw palmetto inclusions

Something Like A Hide

Handmade paper made from woven cotten placemats from my maternal grandparents

Pulp paintings on handmade miscanthus paper

Sorry

Fiber drawings and paper surgery. Handmade paper made from woven cotton placemats inherited from my maternal grandparents.

It's Just A Story You Tell Yourself

Assorted fiber drawings. Handmade paper made from woven cotton placemats inherited from my maternal grandparents.

Fiber Drawing

Handmade paper made with cotton rags, underbeaten fiber strands

Everyone Said This One Looks Like Carpet Foam

Flocks

Nepalese-style sheet experiments. Iowa kozo fiber.

Have Mercy

Pulp paintings on Handmade miscanthus paper