*donut voice* like y'know, nyah

After the initial shock of "another time displacement event has happened" wore off, Grif and Simmons- that is, the older Grif and Simmons, were casually amused to see their younger selves.

It really wasn't the worst thing an antagonistic AI with god-like power could do. So they had to baby-sit the two insecure and repressed Grif and Simmons with their little rookie buzz-cuts for a while. Big deal. They had already sorted out a similar situation with Tiny-Sarge, plus the angsty-teen versions of Carolina and Wash. As far as the older men were concerned, this was fine.

The two younger men (who were definitely MEN, and NOT cute) did not agree. The last thing they had been doing was fighting on the floor of the barracks; Grif had somehow managed to roll out of his cot, slowly slide onto the floor without making any noise, continue rolling until he reached the cot next to him, and while still out cold, wormed his way up onto the mattress, forcing out the person who had currently been sleeping there. Simmons.

Simmons responded by yanking his blankets out from under the intruder, which made Grif roll out of the cot yet again, this time quickly, and hitting the floor with a thud. He woke up pissed, and an argument quickly followed.

All around them, the other rookie soldiers had groaned, and tried to block the bickering with their own pillows. It just never ended with those two. Every single person who had trained with them hoped and prayed that they would NOT get sent to the same assigned base as Grif or Simmons... ESPECIALLY not Grif and Simmons TOGETHER.

Simmons tried to tackle Grif, which was a mistake, because Grif wasn't exactly an experienced fighter, but he knew a thing or two about how "playground wrestling" (which was like cage fighting, but with less rules). Grif had Simmons trapped in a tight hold, squawking empty threats, and then...

They weren't in the barracks anymore.

They were in what seemed to be a livingroom. A large livingroom in a fairly nice apartment. They were also between the TV and a huge couch, full of many unfamiliar people... except for three. Three of these people were familiar; another Grif, another Simmons, and- Grif's little sister? Kaikaina?

The young Grif and Simmons panicked, but the strangers seemed to only be mildly irritated. A short dude with dark hair and glasses swore, said something like- "Not THIS again". A gruff old guy, with a buzz cut of his own, looked at them almost wistfully, like a dad at his kids' graduation or something. Kai burst out laughing, and Grif couldn't process his sister being TALLER than him.

Several agonizing minutes later, explanations and introductions were made. The sarcastic dude with the glasses- Church, he went with a few of the others to "fix the problem". After a discussion, the rest of this group agreed to go out, buy some extra changes of clothes and supplies for the time-travelers in case they remained for an extended stay, and Grif and Simmons would stay at the apartment. With Grif and Simmons.

It was WEIRD.

"Why do our faces look all... jacked-up?" the younger Grif asked.

"AND WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING EACH OTHER LIKE THAT!?" the younger Simmons nearly screeched, pointing at the sight.

The older Grif and Simmons were standing together, in the kitchen. This Simmons had both arms drapped over Grif's shoulders, linked by holding one of hi wrists. This Grif stood with one arm bent, the hand in the pocket of his jeans, the other wrapped around Simmons' back, that hand resting on the other man's hip. Their middles were pressed together. All cozy and... intimate.

Also, the older Grif clearly had sections of his body covered in skin that was a shade lighter than the rest of him. The older Simmons had... robot parts? Robot parts! In the same areas, around the eye, one side of his jaw, and the left arm.

"Well... long story short, I got hurt, needed extra skin and organs and blood, so he shared..." older Grif answered, grinning like this was FUNNY somehow.

"Then a BUNCH of other stuff happened, and now we're married," older Simmons added, seeing the horrified looks of disbelief on the younger faces. "Trust me, this is NOT the weirdest part of our lives!"

"There is no way in HELL-"

"NO, this IS hell, this has to be hell, you choked me to death in the barracks, and I died, and this is some kind of torture in the afterlife!"

The younger Grif and Simmons were not taking things well.

"Calm down, don't get yourself all worked-up again!" the older Grif said to the younger Simmons. Somehow, his tone wasn't unkind. Younger Simmons didn't expect any version of Grif to sound like that. "You aren't dead, and this isn't hell. We can get into the philosophical implications about the afterlife later, if you chill out-"

"Oh man, they haven't even had that conversation yet!" the older Simmons chuckled.

"Ha, this is gonna be fun. But first thing's first..." Grif walked over to the fridge, and pulled out several containers. "I know myself, and back then, I was jonesing for pizza bad,"

"Dude, you have no idea..." the younger Grif forgot all about the issues he had with his future-self's taste in romantic partners, his taste in food was still acceptable.

"I absolutely have EVERY idea, I lived through your life up to this point. I remember that crappy military food, and the tiny portions. This pizza right here? Pepperoni, bacon, 2 kinds of mushrooms, 3 kinds of cheese, olives, and green bell peppers. I'm heating you up four slices, AND making chocolate milkshakes. Get ready to not feel like you're STARVING for the first time in months," the older Grif began preparing the food as his younger self followed behind, looking like he might start crying tears of joy.

"Maybe we DID die... except I went to heaven..." he mumbled quietly.

"Here, I know you'll like this..." the older Simmons opened another container, waving his younger self over. This Simmons was less food-motivated, and thus less trusting when offered a treat. Older Simmons was putting different portions of food onto a plate. "By the way- you aren't actually allergic to half the things you THINK you are,"

"I'm- I'm not?" younger Simmons cautiously asked.

"Nope. Mom and Dad just used to serve you under-cooked food because they followed all those stupid diet trends, and gave you food poisoning," older Simmons finished with the plate; it was Chinese food, chicken fried rice with various vegetables, pork chow mein, 2 potstickers, and spicy mandarin chicken. He put the plate in the microwave, heating it up for a couple of minutes.

The Grifs were off in happy-pizza-land, but the Simmons' weren't focused on the food. Younger Simmons noted the casual yet disdainful way the older Simmons spoke about their parents. It wasn't as if he didn't complain about them himself, he could get pretty loud and angry about his dad from time to time. It just... usually had more of a build-up. More of an emotional explosion. Which he always regretted later, and felt like he owed an apology to a man who hadn't even heard anything he said... this older Simmons was oddly more confident and open. Younger Simmons didn't even recognize that attitude in himself.

"So, you aren't allergic to everything. And those times you got sick, that wasn't your fault. You weren't the problem. Even the times you did get sick because of and actual food intolerance you have, that wasn't your fault either..." the plate was ready. Older Simmons handed it to younger Simmons with an encouraging smile, and motioned for him to go join the two Grifs at the kitchen table for milkshakes. Older Simmons got himself a plate of Chinese food as well, and sat down beside the older Grif. They had very little space between them. The younger Grif and Simmons were sitting at opposite ends of the table, trying very hard to NOT look at each other.

"You were serious before... you guys actually got married?" younger Simmons finally asked when he felt like his brain was working again. He could see both of the rings older Grif and Simmons wore. Wedding rings, on their ring fingers. Not only that, the rings matched; older Simmons had a dark red ring with a band of gold running through the center. Older Grif had a gold ring with a dark red band.

"Yep," older Grif said after a gulp of milkshake.

"WHY?" younger Grif had one eyebrow raised, utterly confused.

"I'm not sure. I think he tricked me," older Simmons deadpanned, but his poker-face broke almost immediately. The older Grif leaned against him, his head fitting into the crook of Simmons' neck, both men smiling in a satisfied way.

"No, really, why?" younger Simmons pressed the issue. "He's- he's the worst! He always makes a mess, he forgets to flush the toilet, he's lazy beyond all reason-"

"Oh yeah, and you're a dream!" the younger Grif finally looked at the Simmons he knew, and it was with a glare. "You are so up-tight, you've got the military rule book stuck up your ass side-ways, you're an annoying little shit-"