Welcome To Insanity

There’s a thin line

Between feeling fine and living a lie

I take these pills they get me high

The day glides past, fast and black

I don’t recall a thing.

But when I don’t have my medicine,

Everything comes rushing in,

I’m overwhelmed. I’m drowning. I can’t breathe.

I think, my brain a messy train of thoughts

Colliding and crashing into each other with no recourse

Everything gets black and muddled and messy. And then I pop a little this, or snort a little that, and poof just like that, my sanity comes back.

Only it’s not even me, just a mask of what I long to be

Happy and free, not usually likely if you see me

It’s like those moments you swim just under the surface of the water

And find those moments suspended with no gravity to bring you down, water in your ears drown out the cries of others, eyes closed so you don’t see the fear staring you in the face, are the most peaceful. You feel so weightless and are convinced nothing could bring you back, or down, or anything. Almost as if you don’t exist

You take a deep breath as your lungs fill