Lady FatCatMcCatterson

aftg but neil just straight up refuses to give andrew any power over him from the get-go. andrew's like it's gonna be fun breaking you and neil just ignores him. andrew breaks in to look through his things but neil just lies about it existing in the first place, feigning confusion so well that andrew is almost convinced his drugs made him hallucinate it. andrew tries to force him to go eden's and neil's just like no ❤️ and then simply does not go. andrew says he's gonna get neil kicked off the team and neil calls wymack on the spot and asks if andrew can get him off the team, then hangs up and is like wymack said u can't actually do that, better luck next time ❤️ andrew pulls a knife on him and neil just stabs himself bc it wouldn't be the first time after all, and everyone freaks out about it so andrew isn't allowed to pull knives on neil ever again, on the threat of wymack shredding his contract and kicking him off the team. andrew tells neil he hates him and neil is just like i don't care ❤️ andrew's just constantly trying to threaten this guy effectively and neil is like you're literally five feet tall and can't even hold knives right, what can u do to me? ❤️ andrew is trying so hard to beat neil at a game neil doesn't even know they're playing, and neil is nonchalantly winning every time anyway without realizing it. andrew is rock hard around neil 99% of the time throughout all of this. btw.

sometimes when im writing neil, i ask myself "am i going too far in how oblivious he is? wouldn't he have realized his own feelings yet at least, if no one else's?" and then i remember he went into the torture cult school he swore he'd never go to just in case it could spare andrew some pain and then did not regret it when it didn't work and also said verbatim that andrew is everything that matters and still had no clue he wanted to kiss him until andrew kissed him first

hey i know we don’t really talk about this or anything but it’s fine if you tell neil im gay and single. like if it comes up in conversation where hes wondering about my sexuality or relationship status its fine to tell him that i am gay and also single. and its even fine if you tell him that im gay and single when hes not asking about it its fine if you casually tell him that. you can tell him i like men and am currently not in a relationship. however you want to tell him is fine with me. really, it’s fine, renee, if you tell neil that im gay and single, i have no problem if you mention to neil that i am not only gay but i am also single. if he was wondering. or not wondering. or whatever. i don’t care. but if you wanted to tell him im gay and single it’s fine

Maybe Andrew hated Aaron loving Tilda because he saw himself in him (literally)

i love this. I'm obsessed with this. oh my god. oh my god you're a genius

oh my god I'm LIVING.

thinking about neil getting sick for the first time in years. thinking about neil having chronic phantom pains, the weight of a hot iron, the sting of a bullet, the suffocating press of water. thinking about neil’s body finally being allowed to feel and acknowledge and work through everything it’s been through. thinking about how this is only possible because neil is physically safe, emotionally regulated, healing. thinking about how he hates this period of his life, almost wishes he could go back to constantly expecting death, wishes he could go back to the pain not being his fault. wishes his brain would let him breathe. wishes he didn’t wake up some days unable to move, unable to practice, unable to run off his anxious energy. wishes he didn’t see andrew’s eyes soften as he realizes it’s going to be one of those days. one of those days where he has to watch neil struggle, unable to help him. neil feels terrible, feels horrible for rendering andrew helpless this way, again… im just thinking about the days when andrew holds neil close, listens to his tears, and can do nothing to stop the pain he’s feeling.

Neil Josten doing a hear me out cake and his first ‘hear me out’ is a pic of Andrew in his Exy gear, obvi- but from there it just turns into very laughably smaller and smaller pics of Andrew. A close-up of his freckled nose; the scuff on one of his boots; a pic of just his hand with a cig put very delicately between two fingers. Neil fills his portion of the cake w micro-shots of Andrew’s piercings, his wispy blond hair in the sun. And as cute as it is, the girls are just sitting beside him and staring at him because “Neil, you can’t just keep putting photos of Andrew.” Only for Neil to frown and stick his very last photo in: a snapshot of Andrew at the gym, lifting weights in a compression shirt and spandex and glaring at the camera as per usual. Allison drags her hand down her face; Dan sputters out a little laugh; Renee just smiles because well, if Neil was going to be crazy over someone, might as well be someone who is just as obsessed w him (Andrew won’t say it aloud. He’ll say it to Renee, though, so that counts for something)