tbh idk anymore

@ilupjms

Saw this post about straight dudes feeling emasculated at the thought of taking their wife’s last name, and it gave me a sudden craving for fantasy media where some dude is called Leopold THE DESTROYER or some shit and there are all these rumors going around about how he got his moniker, all these made up stories about how he must have razed a village to the ground or slayed 12 dragons or some shit and it turns out he just took his wife’s last name.

take a fuckin sip, babes

Sure, cats falling off things is funny, but NOTHING is funnier than robots miscalculating the speed, force or angle needed to complete a mundane task. NOTHING.

this is the best thing I’ve ever heard

i’m sorry wHAT

This is like the time I found out that in Israel “Ma po ze, Chicago?” (What is this, CHICAGO?) is a saying for when people are acting unruly. 

in finland if something is far away or in an unknown place we can say that “se on huitsin nevadassa” (it’s in nevada) you can also politely tell that you’d wish someone to fuck off by wishing that they’d go to nevada

I am both amused and nodding my head at the accuracy.

i am here for this bird

If you think about it in the shower, you’re not over it

I’m apparently not over the burning of the library at Alexandria

Is anyone truly over it?

They shouldn’t be

reblog for noises

fuck yall and your bad boys. wheres my bad girls. wheres my secretive and mysterious love interest. wheres my outcast gf. wheres my cat rescuing, leather wearing, motorcycle riding wife???

Me: *is feeling bad* Also me: *can’t think of a way to make it funny* Brain: can’t talk about it then

i had a dream last night that mothman was getting sued by the state of west virginia for accidentally breaking light posts and he hired me as his lawyer and in court i was like “now my client is a giant moth so you cant blame him for loving lights” and halfway through my speech i turned to address mothman and saw he was bumping into the courtroom lights and they broke and caused a power outage

i was watching a moth fly around my room and decided to turn on my tv and the first thing that came on screen was a court room scene of a law and order episode and i got fucking whiplash 

What was that one glitter pallet???

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