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i want to be normal

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im just so tired

i need to sleep

i truly only feel at ease locking away all my individuality and molding myself into the friend people want me to be, but i can't be molded by these people. i know its unhealthy but i don't have a personality, i don't contribute anything as a friend. i can't do anything but follow orders bc i only feel happy when the other person is satisfied with how i act

i just wish i didn't exist

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i want to block everyone. i dont want close friends. i feel like everyone hates me. i can't handle friendships bc i know i'm unlovable and so fucking annoying. i hate myself and i think everyone hates me. maybe theyre all shit talking me. maybe they all think the worst of me. i don't trust anyone, i really don't. i don't know how to trust someone and i feel like i want to run away

i went from being super emotionally unstable to the point of immense imbalances of emotion for a single person at 14 to becoming so numb to the point of suicidal thoughts at 17. can i just be normal?

no i can't open up to people bc i can't trust anyone, no i don't know why i can't trust people i'm just super paranoid

wish i weren't so ugly and unlovable. i don't have a single good trait going for me

i rly hope i die soon. i want to die before i'm 20, i'm not sure if i even want to life past 18

maybe i'll try cutting again....i need my dad to not be home though.....

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5 seconds away from a complete mental breakdown i think

i wish i jumped off my balcony in freshman year of high school. i wish i ended my life before i turned so fucked up and useless

i think i hate how i'm living. i just hate it all. everything feels so meaningless and wasteful. i don't have any ambitions i don't have any reason to live, i can't find enjoyment in most things other than videos and reading and i just...nothing's making me happy. i hate myself, i hate my lifestyle, i hate college, i hate being involved with people. i just.....i'm just tired of this all

back here again bc im feeling suicidal

my brain keeps telling me to claw at my neck and rip out my hair lol let me sleep, and stop showing my bugs when i close my eyes i feel gross and i cant sleep because of it

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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i want to be used even if its by someone older than me i think. but thats just one intrusive thought from tonight.

todays just the day i'm suicidal and traumatized

i have so many things to say but at this point no words come out im just, im just so tired

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