Iβm very solitary, thatβs allβ¦ I canβt dismiss it. Inside, Iβm very much in communication with a lot of people and things who absolutely donβt know Iβm in communication with them.
Jean-Luc Godard

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@hreogameres
Iβm very solitary, thatβs allβ¦ I canβt dismiss it. Inside, Iβm very much in communication with a lot of people and things who absolutely donβt know Iβm in communication with them.
Jean-Luc Godard

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Andrei Dobrin photographed by Yu Yang at Paris Fashion Week Spring/Summer 2017
2026/7/21
Vichy b3 dark spot corrector started + pimple patch for extra cover from uv (spf 50+, wide rim hat)
1. Azeliac acid and vitamin C, niacinimide in morning
2. MT, ThFSa: retinol, niacinimide in evening
3. W, Su: glycolic acid toner in evening
2026/7/21
Vichy b3 dark spot corrector started + pimple patch for extra cover from uv (spf 50+, wide rim hat)
(Ignoring the absolute stupid crazy going on in my life rn)
going to see if this dark spot (hyperpigmentation) serum works if I use it consistently for the next 8 weeks, along with the usual spf and big hat.
The only surefire way is to have this one cluster of spots lasered off, and I might do it later this year (for my 50th birthday).
But I also don't want to go down that road of obsessing over every little spot and wrinkle, and fighting against aging as if it were the only thing in life.
ETA : I was going to add a picture to show what I'm targeting, but the spots were so negligible, I felt like I was making a dumb fuss over nothing.
So.
Still going ahead with the experiment. No pictures until after 8 weeks. But only bc I like before /after pics.

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a month of traumatized shit-cleaning and desperately trying to save the dog no one cared about, three months of trauma from ongoing emotional and verbal violence. then, the last two months going to pieces every day, in anger and hurt at being cast out and being blamed for what was done to me.
they issued an ultimatum to give up my life for their convenience: i said no. so, i lost my birth family.
I hope i'm close to the end of this miserable tunnel because I'm done.
it should take longer than six months to grieve. but I'm ready to move on.
woodstock image of the week
I can see why gardening is listed as a serious physical activity. I just spent an hour rearranging the patio mess after the painters(no digging or planting even, just moving pots and rehoming the snails and pill bugs), and I've sweat through my jeans.
Cut back on the dog walks for one day, but had impromptu yard work, and now down to 48.1. *sigh* so, it was just water after all. Experiment over. You really do have to gain like a body builder after all, with protein and heavy lifting or it won't stick.
48.5. It was just water weight, ugh. I think I have to join a gym again.

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Oh drat, 1kg was just water.
Life has been so full of real grief for a while (cancer, aging, death, estrangement, viciousness) that it feels silly popping in to record something so trivial this. But maybe it'll be a distraction. I could do with some boring observation.
So I finally hit 50kg after worrying for months that I couldn't gain weight (47kg and dipping worryingly under) because of stress, running around putting out fires, bad sleep, etc, I'm going to see if I can cut back on the recent calorie loading, and slowly go down to keep it around 48 instead.
I'm not 25 anymore. I don't really care if i'm 47kg or 50. But I am honestly curious to see if middle-age or menopause really counteracts calories in/ calories out.
BEETLEJUICE
1988, dir. Tim Burton
Youngsters, Finland (1985)

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Leo Vanderstichele / Photography by Allan Hamitouche
oh crap, the anxiety and stress is making me drop body weight again. I abhor the taste of protein shakes yuck. but I cannot get below 47kg before a 14 hour flight and subsequent stress filled week rescuing the 2nd dog (pt2).