A comprehensive, chronological list of all the things this poor kid has been through.
Favorite Ice cream is discontinued, house attacked by a corrupted gem
Home attacked by gem robot
Building destroyed while he’s in it, almost drowns
Breakfast comes to life and attacks him/his family
Creepy costume comes to life and attacks him/his friends/family
Unable to stop his body from turning into cats, run through a car wash
Trapped in a small space with a stranger at the bottom of the ocean, attacked by corrupted gem
Gets sick and destroys the teacup ride, attacked by ancient gem tech
Family fights each other/disrepects his and amethyst’s hobby
Attacked by corrupted gem, unable to snap Garnet out of her trance
Goes through and existential crisis because of his abnormal aging, almost ages himself to death
Attacked by sentient plant life
Overwhelmed by replicated “guys”
Witnesses Pearl’s stabbing/death, is almost killed by holo-pearl himself
Attacked by training machine from rose’s armory
Attacked by a corrupted gem
Overwhelmed by rose’s room in the temple
Two members of his family (unintentionally) attack him/ other family members/friends
Witnesses a(n unintentional) rampage through the city, has to give the Heimlich)
Almost drowns, Kills multiple versions of himself
Fights corrupted gems, almost crushed by a falling rock
Watches amethyst almost die
Yelled at by his family/ family is attacked by Lapis
Attacked by lapis, almost drowns, his best friend almost drowns, dad breaks his leg, learns the truth about what corrupted gems are
Dad lies to him, unintentionally messes with his powers
Almost (unintentionally) killed by pearl
Attacked by gem fragments, attacked by garnet
Stranded for several days on an island, lied to by his good friend
Knocked out and tied up by Ronaldo
Witnesses watermelons attack his friends family, witnesses sentient plants die
Nearly suffocated by lion
Scared by a mysterious figure (peridot) in the warp, has concerns dismissed by the gems
Learns the gems don’t trust his abilities, don’t take him seriously
Sees several horrible futures
Sees amethyst attack pearl
Attacked by corrupted gem
Sees amethyst turn into rose quartz
Witnesses Pearl’s breakdown
Unintentionally causes people to make fun of his dad, is dismissed by buck
Learns homeward gems are coming to earth
Sees angry citizens after failing to fix the power
Sees garnet forcibly split, the gems poofed, and is knocked out and abducted
Survives a space ship crash, witnesses Lapis and jaspers toxic fusion
Believes he needs to end his friendship with connie
Almost killed (unintentionally) by garnet
Attacked by corrupted gem, witnesses amethyst’s unhealthy regens
Sees pearl teaching connie unhealthy ideals, attacked by holo pearls
Attacked by fusion experiments, witnesses garnet’s near-breakdown
Sees lapis/jasper/malachite in his dreams
Sees pearl lying to garnet about the communication hub/sardonyx
Forced to be the middle man for ruby and sapphire
Attacked by peridot, watches Pearl/Garnet almost crushed
Attacked by fusion experiments
Sees peridot and pearl fight
Almost killed by runaway drill
Stretches too far and reverts to a baby
Learns about the diamonds original plans for earth
Attacked by peridot, nearly killed by explosive
Killed as a watermelon sacrifice, watches malachite and alexandrite fight
Passes out in the drill, visions of the cluster
Stuck in the air because he can’t control his floaty powers
Caught in the middle between greg and pearl
Caught in feud between Kofi and Fryman
Overworked by kiki’s pizza dreams
Almost (unintentionally) hurt by semi-corrupted centipeetle/nephrite
Attacked by jasper, boat sinks
Attacked by corrupted gems and jasper
Attacked by corrupted gems and jasper
Attacked by jasper, sees jasper corrupted
Learns that his mom is an alleged war criminal
Stuck in space and almost killed by eyeball ruby
Attacked by corrupted gem
(Unintentionally) emotionally hurt by sardonyx
Emotions interfering with his fusion
Free falls through the sky after being accidentally dropped by lapis
Greg is abducted by Blue diamond
Gravity engine makes the gems disappear
Taken prisoner in the zoo
Almost caught by the diamonds
Confronts his fake mom in the temple
Amethyst abandons their mutual activity
Thinks he has a secret sister
Friends are abducted because of information he unwittingly gave homeworld
Attacked by aquamarine and topaz
He and lars are taken into space
Put on trial for his mother’s alleged crimes, sees the zircons poofed, dramatic escape with lars
Lars is killed in front of him
Realizes lion is resurrected
Has to abandon lars in space
Becomes socially isolated from connie
Watches Lapis abandon peridot, the earth and him
Attacked by the creatures of jungle moon
Learns the truth about his mom being pink diamond
Witnesses ruby and sapphire’s breakdown
Sees the gems poofed, imprisoned for fusing
Battered as a watermelon Steven
Attacked by white diamond, and the controlled gems, has his gem forcibly removed from his body
Attacked by Spinel, repeatedly, learns another horrible thing about his mom, witnesses the earth almost destroyed again.
Inadvertently causes panic and damage by interfering with homeschool gems jobs
Meeting other rose quartzes
Learns another horrible thing about his mom, attacked by gem tech at the pearl repair station
Attacked by bluebird, sees his dad attacked by bluebird
Hurt by all his friends leaving
Attacked by a sentient cactus
Connie rejecting his proposal
Being physically confronted by the manifestations of everything in this list
Realizing greg (well-intentioned or not) cheated him out of a somewhat normal upbringing
Shattering and resurrecting jasper
This poor boy really needs some therapy
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