House Of Oblivion ♐

why I have to love people just for life to show me how I'll never be enough for them

still alive still waiting for the moment that i’ll wake up feeling so so bad that i’ll finally convince me to kill myself

basically now my days consist in: go to college and while i wait for the train to come i’ll think that if i’m lucky enough today is the day that a fucking crazy person will come from nowhere and just push me on the train line.

just saw aftersun and...it’s like it gave me the answer I already knew I had that there’s really nothing I can do about it and I’m just watching people’s lives go on

still waking up every fuking single day

staying alive is so hard and it’s not even worth it

i can’t get used to being alone again and i’m afraid to feel this way to the end of my days

im hating weekends more and more and can’t wait for them to end and it’s monday again and I barely have time to go to the bathroom and I finally can replace depression with exhaustion

once again reading my old “depressive episodes” entries and getting to the conclusion that this will go on forever and the only way to be really at peace is dying