House and Wilson

Robert as Walter Abrahmson in An American Daughter

haha, I have this one that I didn't really like much, but since you asked uwu

I have many ideas I'd like to draw, hopefully when I have more time!✨ I love them my ancient boys😩💔

How to have children together without being able to have children together: Alexandros x Hephaistion edition.

“Alexander, says Arrian, "...wanted to become the uncle of Hephaestion's children...", and it is therefore even possible to imagine that the two hoped their respective descendants might one day be united, and that, in the end, the crowns of Macedonia and Persia might be worn by a descendant of them both.”

Arrian 7.4.29

This effin’ hurts and I never thought about it:

The Italian art historian Linda De Santis has also pointed out that, besides the Iliad, Alexander found a second ideal source of inspiration in Euripides' Alcestis. There, the widower Admetus finds himself in a state of grief similar to that of the Macedonian king, and Alexander's actions mirror and retrace those of the king of Pherae (the cutting of the horses' manes, the prohibition of musical performances, and other mourning rites). Alexander almost seems to be "pointing us toward the words that flowed from the pen of his favorite tragedian in order to speak to us, across the centuries, about the depth of the feelings he had for his departed friend. In a sense, he is asserting that his relationship with Hephaestion was just as close as that of Admetus and Alcestis."

Of course I love Hephaistion! I mean, I tried to have him deified. As the kids say, “That’s love, bitch.”

No second-hand historical account can begin to capture my feelings for Hephaistion, but here’s some information from the ancient sources, as I’m fond of providing citations for you all (you’re welcome):

“[Alexander] had loved Hephaestion most of the group of Friends who were thought to have been high in his affections, and after his death showed him superlative honour. In his lifetime, he had preferred him to all…” (Diodorus 17.114.1)

“Even in Alexander’s case, Hephaistion’s death had been no small calamity, and I believe he would rather have been the first to go than live to suffer that pain, like Achilles, who surely would rather have died before Patroklos than have lived to avenge his death.” (Arrian 7.17)

“Alexander’s grief at this loss knew no bounds. […] Upon a tomb and obsequies for his friend, and upon their embellishments, he purposed to spend ten thousand talents, and wished that the ingenuity and novelty of the construction should surpass the expense.” (Plutarch 72.3-5)

“About this time [Alexander] wrote a letter to Cleomenes, an official with a bad criminal record in Egypt. In so far as this letter showed [Alexander’s] love for Hephaistion, a love which persisted even beyond the grave, I can find no fault with it; but there were other things in it which, I think, were highly reprehensible. The letter contained instructions for the erection of a shrine in Hephaistion’s honour in the city of Alexandria, and another on the island of Pharos, where the lighthouse is, both to be of great size and built regardless of expense. Cleomenes was to see to it that the shrines were named after Hephaistion and that all mercantile contracts should bear his name. (Arrian 7.23)

Well it certainly has persisted beyond the grave! I’m hilarious, but I digress.

Hephaistion felt the same:

As a matter of fact, Hephaestion enjoyed so much power and freedom of speech based on this friendship that when Olympias was estranged from him because of jealousy and wrote sharp criticisms and threats against him in her letters, he felt strong enough to answer her reproachfully and ended his letter as follows: “Stop quarrelling with us and do not be angry or menacing. If you persist, we shall not be much disturbed. You know that Alexander means more to us than anything.” (Diodorus 17.114.3)

Though for some reason, I think your question refers not solely to my love for Hephaistion, but to whether we were “practicing our sarissa skills with each other at night,” if you know what I mean.

Let me rephrase your question for you:

“O Alexander the Greatest, Alexandros ho Aniketos, King of Kings, Lord of the Two Lands, Better King of Macedonia Than Your Dad, best historical figure and way more badass than that loser crybaby Caesar– joy to you! I know Hephaistion was a brilliant military leader, kicked ass with his command of the Companion Cavalry, and did a bang-up job of being your second-in-command. I’m a big fan of his work in India. Damn, what a man. During your life, you emphasized the similarities in your relationship to Achilles and Patroklos yourself, and I was wondering if your friendship included eros as well as philos. You of course don’t have to answer if that’s too personal, though, since I’d certainly hate people prying into my sex life! You’re the greatest!!! :) <3 <3 <3″

^As you can see, I don’t send myself fan mail since it would be … obvious.

So was Hephaistion “bridging my Indus,” so to speak? Well, you know, he literally bridged the Indus for me (Arrian 5.4), but anyway…

Spoiler alert: It’s not stated outright in the ancient sources. Curtius tiptoes around the issue, and he has an obvious boner for Hephaistion in his work, which amuses me. I mean, don’t we all?

If you’re desperately curious about if Hephaistion “sailed my fleet” or “fortified my city,” I’d advise you to read the ancient sources on my life and use your best judgement. I mean, would it be possible that I had a sexual relationship with a man who was the friend I loved above all others and was also documented as being exceptionally attractive? The man whose relationship to myself I directly compared to Achilles and Patroklos, who I attempted to have deified, and whose corpse I had to be dragged off of.

Take an educated guess.

“Therefore he received the envoys of the Sacae courteously and gave them Euxenippus to accompany them; he was still very young and a favourite of the king because of his youthful beauty, but although in handsome appearance he was equal to Hephaestion, he was not his match in a charm which was indeed not manly.” (Curtius Rufus, VII.ix.19) This is maybe a bit more than tiptoeing in my book lol.