not on my watch.

Private, selective and exclusive portrayal of Chris Redfield from Capcom's RESIDENT EVIL. Canon + headcanon based. Low to Medium activity.

Written by Z (29 / f / CET).

affiliates: @sharpcdges @antiibow @ascendedpath

Prompts for Deep Conversations.

“Sheva…” Chris pinches the bridge of his nose. Despite the heavy exhale that leaves him, a hint of shakiness slips through it. The kind only someone familiar with him on an intimate level can notice. The kind someone like her wouldn’t miss.

The question is absurd. Ridiculous. He barely went on a couple dates with Dianne. Not to mention she’s the one who asked him out. And sure, they’ve known each other for years. Flirted in passing over a few months before anything happened. There’s no label on this thing yet. He didn’t even know if that third date was ever going to happen—and, well, now he’s sure it won’t.

Sheva wouldn’t be asking him this if she didn’t already know the answer. He knows because they’ve been here before. Worst part? He would still willingly fall for it every single time. Against his best judgement.

His hand falls to his side, and he meets her pleading gaze with feigned sharpness. “If I said yes,” he starts, a mere attempt to test the waters before diving in head first, “would that make a difference?” He could bet either way. He’s never entirely sure with her. When they’re off their game, it seems like even if the stars in the whole universe aligned, they still wouldn’t make it. But when they’re in sync … it’s them against the entire world.

Prompts for Deep Conversations.

He’s asked himself that question more than a few times over the course of his life. Everything is usually the first answer that comes to his mind, because when he looks at the big scheme of things, his failures far outweigh his successes. The mountain of lives lost is higher than that of lives saved. So many disasters he could have stopped if he had just been a little faster, a little stronger, a little … smarter.

But when it comes down to it, every choice Chris has ever made has been with the intent to protect the innocent, keep his loved ones safe, and right even a fraction of the wrong in this world. Claire’s no different. He knows it, even if she can’t see it right now. Matter of fact, he had similar conversations with many a fresh recruit, who joined the cause determined and hopeful, only to be shocked into despair by the gruesome reality. Things hardly turn out how one plans for them to. The real challenge is having to live with the choices you make, every day, and holding onto blind hope that it was the absolute best you could do at the time.

Chris’s eyes finally rise from his feet to Claire’s next to him, before settling on the cot where a passed out Natalia lies, plugged into how many tubes and devices. “Look, what matters is you went back and saved them. That wouldn’t have been possible if you hadn’t made it out of there alive. I think at the end of the day, that’s what really matters. And I think Barry knows that. So does Moira. I’m sure the kid’s grateful, too. She gets a chance to live like she was meant to: as a child.” He reaches over and places a hand on top of her head, giving her hair a gentle ruffle. “I wouldn’t have done anything different. Except maybe bring a few more grenade launchers.”