It's the mash slinging, hash flinging.. Hash slinging slasher!!
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@hotpocket15
It's the mash slinging, hash flinging.. Hash slinging slasher!!

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Picky Eaters - WTF fun fact
Shit I'm still a picky eater, does that mean I'll get Alzheimer's or dementia when I'm older?
I work in a deli at a local grocery store. We had someone shit in an isle and spread it all over the shelves like an ape đˇ I'd bribe the store manager to watch the cctv footage if I could lol
OHHH NOOO
Omfg this gif makes this whole thing better
More life hacks ? http://1000lifehacks.com
Cant sleep? Just sniff on a rag of chloroform!

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Okay, so, this is kind of Petty, but I feel successful. I was working the drive-thru window, and I had a guy specifically order a small drink, which is about $1.80. Well, when he got up to the window, he saw the drink (after he had paid, of course) and said that he wanted a medium. Now, I had already had enough of stupid customers for the day, so I went ahead and got him a medium drink. Unbeknownst to the customer, we were in our happy hour, which meant that medium drinks were only a dollar. So, when I filled up his drink, I laughed to myself, because he had paid extra for a drink he could have gotten for a dollar. Is this petty? Yes. Did I really do all this over 80 cents? Yes. But you know what? It felt good to do this in my soul, and my coworker absolutely loved it.
I would have just given him a medium cup and poured what was in the small cup, that way he gets his medium CUP but he still only gets a small soda which is what he paid, but any pettiness is good
Okay. I donât remember the events leading up to this, but here we go. Thereâs this kid in my grade whoâsâŚnot even five feet and is pretty scrawny. He wore a Gucci belt for a while in Eighth grade (and our science teacher called him Gucci whenever he did). The belt really pulled his pants down more than held them up. But thatâs beside the point. He wasnât that bright, and I somehow managed to get seated next to him literally every time we had new seating arrangements. Now, Iâm sitting across from him in during this lab or whatever, and he was doing something dumb, like always. Iâm a good student and do my work before I end up screwing around, so Iâm frustrated with this kid already because Iâm trying to work. The classroom is fairly quiet, and I turn and look him dead in the eye. âThereâs a reason you cant spell stupid without u.â And he got visibly mad. And the he yells: âOh yeah? Well, thereâs an I in stupid too!â
I stared at him with my mouth open, and then we hear it. My science teacher is laughing so hard, and then she leaves the room. Iâve never been more proud of myself.
Call me at 6am over minor stuff? Enjoy the coffee drinking contest at midnight
So,
Iâm a pastor in a small town with a lot of farmers. In my church organization the pastor is there to preach, visit the sick, teach classes, and set long-term direction for the congregation. Iâm not in charge of the finances, cleaning crew, all sorts of other stuff. We have committees and volunteers who do a much better job than I can at all of that.
Due to this my work schedule is fairly flexible, but I frequently have meetings or classes that last until 9 or 10 oclock at night. I rarely come into the office before 10am. I stumble in, with a mug of coffee, and then drink coffee all day. Itâs even a friendly joke in the congregation, donât call Pastor before 10am, heâs not awake.
But this one gentleman, (Letâs call him Farmer Brown) on the board of properties, started calling me at 6:00am to check on things.
âPastor, did I wake you?â
âWell, yeah, Farmer Brown, you did. Whatâs up?â
âWell, Pastor, I think we need to talk aboutâŚ.â And then he brings up minor issues. The contract with where we get the oil for the lamps in the sanctuary. The timeline for fixing the water fountain in the hallway. The stains on the chairs that havenât come out yet. The powerwashing of the parking lot and repainting of the parking lines.
Iâve told him a few times that Iâm not up that early, and that, while important if he needs feedback, he has the authority to work on these items and simply report in to our monthly council meeting.
This has fallen on deaf ears.
So one night, around 11pm, I drove out to his house. Farmland. Itâs quiet. I knock on the door. And knock again. I hear movement inside, door cracks open, and itâs the wife.
âPastor?â
âHi, Mrs. Brown. Is Farmer Brown up?â
âNo, heâs gone to bed a few hours ago.â
âWould you mind getting him for me? Itâs really important.â
âOh? Oh! OK, Pastor. Hang on. Why donât you come into the den and you two can talk.â
âThank you so much. Oh, Mrs Brown? Would you mind putting on a pot of coffee? This may be a while.â
Her eyes widen, but she knows me, trusts and likes me, and if Iâm showing up saying its important, well, this is not time to mess around.
Farmer Brown stumbles into the den, I pour a cup of coffee for him and take one for myself, and proceed to bring up in excruciating detail the incredibly important business I had to work with right now.
Item 1: The contract for the oil for the lamps. We looked at 3 suppliers, the price per unit with shipping, and then I even dove into the environmental impact of the three companies and pushed for the slightly more expensive oil that burned cleaner and whose manufacturer had a better safety record. I think that took him at least 2 cups of coffee.
Item 2: The water fountain. I discussed the rust on the supply line, the need to have this fixed in time for the Summer kids program, the need for our older members to get cool water before service. The replacement of the stool the kids use to reach it, and if it should be wooden or metal, the rubber grips to make it skid-proofâŚthis took only about ž of a cup.
Item 3: Powerwashing the lot. Electric or fueled washer? Gas or diesel? Hire it out or I can do it, but is it worth my time to do that in terms of what the church pays me? More environmental impact issues of the type of paint, type of washer, soap or detergent, moss growing in the north side of the garden and staining the walls, the need to redo the sprinkler system that someone broke 15 years ago and never repaired. I broke out the site map and began to plan out the new sprinkler system (I used to work for a landscaper, and redid plumbing in a few of my previous homes). Flow rates and water pressure and length of line, sprinkler heads and hard-plumbed or adjustable connectionsâŚ
The pot was gone by this point, Iâve casually brewed another, and we got half-way through that pot as well.
Now, a note about my coffee habits. I drink a lot of coffee. I roast my own beans, grind them and brew right before pouring. Iâm a coffee nerd that talks about the flavors in single-origin beans. I make strong coffee. I make coffee that after drinking it, my brother swore âhe could see soundsâ. Iâve used it for years as a supplement to my anti-depression medication. With my coffee, I can stay on a lower dose of pills and still function. I can drink a pot of my coffee then go straight to sleep.
I went through every item he ever brought up to me at 6am. I got most of a pot of coffee into him. Itâs typical farmer coffee which tends to be weaker. But it is still most of a pot. We hit the last item, I abruptly said, âThanks so much for your help on these very urgent matters!â , stacked my papers, and hit the door. Drove home, went to bed and slept like a dead man. I heard from Mrs. Brown later on that Farmer Brown didnât get a wink the rest of the night, and was dragging butt for two days until he could re-sync his sleep schedule.
Farmer Brown never called me before 10am again. And now the church jokes, âDonât call Pastor before 10am. If you do, heâll show up at your house at night and make you drink coffee for hours!â
Edit just to head this off: people do call at any time for emergencies. Thatâs never a problem. And if I know about it ahead of time, Iâve met with people far before 10am.
Edit part 2: I had someone message and ask why I just flat out asked him to stop calling me that early. Itâs basically a matter of perception. Think southern US and manners. If I did that directly, Iâm rude, and word gets around that I donât like people calling me, which means the next time someone is in trouble or hurting they hesitate to contact me and they hurt for no reason.
For further examples: I helped an elderly family member move into town. The house purchased had been vacant for several years. As we move in, fix plumbing, set up utilities, the lawn is neglected until we can buy a mower or find a lawn service.  The neighbor next door doesnât come over and say, âYou yard looks like crap!â  She says, âI have the most wonderful lawn guy, do you want his number?.â I tell her yes, but she never brings it over or tells me.  After  I cut down an oak tree branch and it is by and not on the property line between us, she comes by and says, âWill this be in the way? My lawn guy is coming this afternoon.â (Subtext: why havenât you done something about your lawn? Iâm taking care of mine!)
Same neighbor has several magnolia trees in her yard. One is sickly. I ask about it. âThat tree looks a little puny. Do you know whatâs wrong with it?â  I expect to hear about it being at the end of life cycle, or they over trimmed it, or some pest that lives in the area, or the result of a drought or flood or something like thatâŚmaybe the area of the lawn is too low and damp. Iâm generally curious as to why that tree is different.  She hears âYour tree is crap, why arenât you taking care of it?â and responds with âWell, the other trees look nice!â  Yes. Yes they do. Didnât ask about them. But youâre not allowed to bring things up directly.
Source: reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge
Tell me the doctor who saw me for an emergency room visit is âOut-of-Networkâ? Youâll get your money, eventually...
Posted this, and it seems like petty revenge to me.
I had to go to the ER a few years ago because I got something stuck in my eye. The pain was excruciating, and it was bad enough that the urgent care clinic said I really needed to go to the ER.
I go to the ER, get through triage and immediately see a doc who flushed, dyes, scopes, and eventually is able to get the burr out of my eye without blinding me. All good, I think, because the hospital is in network. Well, fine readers, it turns out that while a hospital may be in-network, you can be treated by a doctor, IN AN EMERGENCY, and get a bill for thousands of dollars because the doctor you saw, FOR AN EMERGENCY, was an independent contractor and therefore out of network.
I was FLOORED to get a $3100 bill for the care I received. Sure, I was happy that I wasnât blind, but $3100 seemed steep. I called, and sure enough, the facility fees were almost nothing thanks to the insurance discount, but no discount at all on the Doctor. I was very angry, because I really had no choice in who saw me. And if there had been no in-network doctor on duty, would I have had to wait?
So, I hatched a plan. They would not negotiate on price AT ALL. I thought this was ridiculous. I could have paid the bill, but I have principles, damnit! I told the billing folks that I couldnât afford the bill, and wanted a payment plan. Iâm not sure if there is a law requiring them to accept a payment plan, but they agreed and asked what I could afford. I told them $10/mo.
Here is the thing about medical bills. They canât charge you interest on them. They also cannot report you to collections if you are paying. Finally, it has zero impact on your credit score if you take a payment plan (unless it goes to collections).
So now, for a procedure I was billed $3100 for a little more than 2 years ago, Iâve paid $260 on. I have the $10/mo on auto-pay and Iâve basically forgotten about it.
Theyâll get their $3100âŚ. but itâll be over almost 24 more years. And they will spend almost $150 in postage, mailing me a bill every month that immediately goes into the shredder to be recycled.
Source: reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge
the art teacher at my school was so crazy that whenever you asked if you could have a pencil she would take your shoe and you would just see kids every once in a while walking around with one shoe on who forgot to give her pencil back
How the fuck do you forget to give your pencil back when you're missing a shoe?!

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wheel of fortune
puzzle: H E _ _ O
category: greeting
contestant: spins
wheel: $5000
contestant: L!
pat: no L
This is a horror novel
Heyyo
If anyone still plays Pokemon Go and wants to add me, I always have a few gifts on me!
:,) he loves it here so much
Lol I knew who this kid was as soon as I heard we were getting First Round pick!
The Gang returns this fallâŚmostly.
The Gang is coming back this fall, but not in its entirety. Kaitlin Olson said earlier this year that Glenn Howertonâs Dennis will return âfor some episodesâ after departing at the end of season 12, and FXXâs official season 13 announcement says that heâll âtake on the new role of father in North Dakotaâ when the irreverent comedy returns on on Wednesday, September 5.Â
..
 âEven without Dennis Reynolds, the Gang has its hands full as Charlie hopes to have a child with the Waitress, Mac sets out to understand his newfound sexuality, Dee takes feminism to new heights, and Frank goes to great lengths for the Gang to experience the greatest moment in Philadelphia sports history â an Eagles Super Bowl victory.â
a mood
James Comey, the guy Obama Hired? Makes sense..

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WHERES THE SQUASH?!
I had to go to a graduation party for a friend, and i was really not at all excited to go until i realized one of the little girls i babysit was going to be there. Iâm best buddies with this toddler so iâm pumped. 1) because i get to see her and 2) because now I have a reason not to socialize with everyone else.
But i was still kinda worried because, itâs a party and she might wanna go do other things.
The day of the party, i walk into a room full of humans i donât care for and then in the corner, thereâs this little munchkin. She lights up when she sees me, drops EVERYTHING, and is like âNANA!!!â (She calls me nana cuz itâs easy) and comes running. She runs straight into a hug and looks at me with the big eyes like âYOU!!!!â
and i was like âI know, Iâm here!â
and she said âYEAH!!!â
There were like 50+ people in this small house and i knew next to no one, so i just played with this little girl and ate snacks until it was acceptable for me to leave.