This was never supposed to happen. 

When you started dating Dr. Michael Robinavitch—mostly for the money, but still—you were sure the eventual breakup would be clean and quick. 

Then Dr. Cassie Mckay came along. She swept through your romantic life like a tornado, disrupting everything that was working with you and Robby when she fingered you in the bathroom of a donor gala for the PTMC. While Robby was just outside. 

That night had changed a lot of things.

You started coming over to Cassie’s house whenever her ex-husband had Harrison. You came up with more excuses to bail on nights spent at Robby’s place. Robby started getting frustrated more often. Cassie got slowly more indulgent, inviting you over at any chance she got. On the rare occasion you’d come into the PTMC to give Robby something he left at home, you’d just end up making eyes at Cassie until you two got the chance to slip into a storage closet for a quickie.

Now everything is messy. Now the only chance of a clean breakup with Robby is by lying. Because there’s no way telling him: “Sorry, I'm sleeping with and kind of maybe in love with your coworker who I've been cheating on you with for a few months. We have to break up.” could possibly go well. 

You hadn’t thought that there could be a worse way, anyway. Not until today.

Everything started normal. This time, Robby was at work and Cassie, luckily, had the day off. Her car pulled up out of Robby’s place early.

“Hey.” Cassie says as you open the door for her. Her auburn hair is pulled back in a loose ponytail, messy bangs hanging in her face.

“Hi.” You reply, fingers hooking into her belt loop, pulling her into Robby’s place.

The second the door is shut, her lips are on yours. She’s got one hand snaking around your waist, the other pushing into your hair—no doubt tangling it. But neither of you really care about that now.

“I missed you.” Cassie manages to mumble against your lips as you two stumble into the kitchen counter. For a moment, the kiss turns messier as you two start laughing, trying to make it to the bedroom.

“Missed you too.”

The door clicks shut behind the two of you. Finally. And when she knows you’re alone? Cassie pulls away, a smile on her lips, her hand smoothing over your side.

“Get on the bed. On all fours.”

“Bossy today, huh?”

Cassie lets out a little laugh at your response, swatting your ass playfully.

“It’s been a long fucking week, okay?”

You’re there, on the bed, leaning on your elbows for support, trying to look between your knees to get a glance at Cassie. You can’t see much from the position, but you hear her belt unbuckle, her pants zipping down… then her fingers, tugging down your pants until they pool at your knees.

“Ready, baby?” She asks in a rough voice from behind you as she slowly drags your panties down your bare thighs.

You’re just about ready to ask what she means… before you feel the fat head of her strap on press against the entrance of your (already wet) pussy.

“Very ready, Cass.” You nod insistently, to which Cassie just grins, her hand sliding over the curve of your back.

The tip slides in first—just barely testing the stretch. You let out a little whimper nonetheless. Another laugh from behind you.

“Oh you’re sensitive, huh? Feelin’ needy?” Her voice is somehow exponentially rougher and lower as she watches your pussy slowly swallow her cock.

“Mh-mmhhm.” Is all you manage to get out because Cassie is slowly—SO slowly—pushing into you, hands on your hips to keep you from trying to get her to give you more. 

Cassie practically shoves in that last inch, until the tip of her strap kisses your cervix, leaving you full, walls fluttering around her length. When she hears your moan, Cassie squeezes your hip, a silent encouragement for how well you’re taking it. Then she starts moving. Not slowly, not gently. Her thrusts start rough and quick. She pulls out halfway and shoves right back in over and over again. Until you’re moaning a repeated “ah, ah, ah-“ and she’s letting out little grunts, tugging on your hips to get her cock in deeper each time.

“Fuck— takin’ it so well, baby. God, fuckin’ swallowing my cock, huh?” Her voice is breathy and ragged already. No matter the amount of confidence she can exude, there’s always that undertone of genuine awe, watching and listening to you fall apart for her. She takes your whine from her strap shoving against your cervix as a yes.

Cassie speeds up as soon as she feels you trying to push back onto her with every rough thrust. Her panting turns into small groans as the slap of skin on skin starts to fill the room. Her length stretches you out with every thrust, wetness nearly dripping down your inner thighs when she pulls almost fully out just to slam right back in. Her hand pushes gently into the small of your back, arching it perfectly for her while she fucks into you.

“Cass- Cassie m’gonna come-“ She hears your whimpers into the pillow that you’re drooling onto. Her thrusts get a little more sloppy—she can’t help it. Cassie’s in total awe, watching you take her like this.

“Good. Good girl.” Her hand on your hip squeezes and you can basically hear the smile in her voice, even though you can’t see her.

When one of Cassie’s messy, rough thrusts slams her cock all the way into your cunt, you’re done for. Your orgasm hits hard, pulling a loud moan from your lips, back arching, fingers curling into the sheets desperately. The sound you make is barely muffled by the pillow and Cassie couldn’t be happier. She slows her movements as your moans turn into softer whimpers and groans. As soon as she sees you slump against the pillow, she pulls out with a wet sound and a soft groan.

“Damn. I’m glad I came prepared.” Her fingers trail up your thigh, pushing through your folds and collecting your slick on them. She circles your clit just once—just to see you switch and whine—before pulling away, fingers sticky with your juices. “You really needed this.”

You laugh softly, slumping into the sheets and rolling over. The first thing you see is Cassie, still on her knees over you, licking her fingers clean. What a fucking sight. You smile and tug her down by the hem of her shirt to lay on top of you.

“Stop it. I at least need breakfast before round two.” You mumble as you kiss her. It’s just a brief pack on the lips, but it nearly makes Cassie melt against you, her arms looping around your waist.

“Yeah, yeah, okay. You want me to cook—“

“What the fuck?” That’s not Cassie’s soft, rough voice that you hear coming from the doorway of the bedroom. You shoot up from where you’re laying under Cassie.

“Robby?” Your eyes go wide with horror as you see him standing there, hands on the back of his neck (a stressed tic of his you’ve noticed before), eyes wide, scoffing.

“Holy fuckin’ shit.” Robby lets out a humorless laugh, his eyes finally landing on Cassie as she looks up, hair all messy and skin slick with sweat. And you’re laying there, trying to pull your pants back on. “McKay? You have got to be kidding me. Are you fucking my girlfriend?”

Cassie doesn’t answer for a long moment, just blinking, looking between you and him. She’s not a liar. Especially not when it comes to you. 

“Robby, I- you weren’t supposed to—“

“What, I wasn’t supposed to know? How long has this been going on?” Now he looks right at you. 

“…Since the gala.” You mumble, sitting up slowly. Cassie moves with you, smoothing a hand through her hair.

“Since the—holy shit.” His hands rub over his face. Yeah. This is definitely worse than a shitty break up excuse. “When I come back to my house because I forgot my fucking badge, I don’t want to see one of my residents fucking my girlfriend.”

You and Cassie look at each other nervously, Cassie rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly. And… yeah, okay, definitely not looking as guilty as she probably should.

“I think… I think I should go.” Cassie says as she starts to sit up fully in bed.

“I think you both should go.” Robby argues, very clearly glaring right at you. You bite your lip, then look back at Cassie. 

“Yeah. Right.” You follow Cassie, reaching out to hold onto her sleeve as she heads for the door. Robby grumbles something under his breath as he goes to grab his badge from the dresser.

“Holy shit.” Is the first thing Cassie says as she steps out of the door of Robby’s house. Both of you stand there for a long moment, you still holding onto her sleeve.

And then you laugh. You actually laugh. Cassie whips her head around to you. She was at least expecting a little upset at that. A messy breakup with your boyfriend of nearly a year? You’d think there’d at least be some waterworks.

“Are you laughing right now?” Cassie fully turns towards you, eyes wide. You start laughing harder, looking over at her with a barely guilty expression. 

“I’m sorry, I just— I mean, Jesus Christ. That couldn’t have gone any worse, right?” 

At that… Cassie lets out a little laugh too. You’re right. That could not have possibly gone any worse. It was so bad it’s actually, admittedly, a little funny.

“No. It couldn’t have.” Cassie shakes her head, grabbing your hand to lace your fingers together and pull you closer. “Robby’s gonna kill me tomorrow.”

You practically have to lean on her with how much you’re laughing. 

“Yeah, you’re dead.” You mutter between laughs. 

Cassie grins and tugs you closer. As soon as your laughter subsides, she leans in and kisses you. You finally relax against her, lips still turned up in a smile even after your laughter has died out.

“Well, I have until tomorrow before I die, so…. y’think we should head back to my place?” Cassie asks as she pulls back, already gently guiding you to her car.

You smile at her, following quickly as she tugs you along.

“we don’t have to do anything,” cassie breathed out in between kisses, and you pulled back for a moment to look at her. “we don’t, i promise.”

“i want to,” you pleaded. “please, cassie.”

cassie kissed you like she was starved, showing you had long she had been deprived of you, her tongue slipping into your mouth. she brushed off her button up top, leaving her exposed in her lace bra and jeans.

she hitched up the bottom half of your dress up to around your torso, keeping it there to have you exposed before her as she sneakily cupped your cunt, gently teasing it.

“fuck, you’re soaking,” she moaned, and you whined, mumbling an apology. “i love it, sweetheart. it’s okay, it’s all for me.”

"it'll always be for you," you whispered, nodding, and she gave your waist a chaste squeeze.

the risks and consequences played themselves in a sequence in the back of your head, but the pure pleasure and need for cassie kept you focused, kept you grinding on her lap.

"what do you need me to do, baby?" cassie asked, simply curious and worried about your own pleasure than her own, her voice almost edging with a plead. "i'll do anything you want, anything for my girl."

the kiss continued and went on, being sure your lipstick was faintly smeared around her own lips. you inched away only by a few, feeling her warm, panting breath hit against your face as you slightly pouted.

"do what you've been dreaming of," you stated, and there was a shift in cassie's eyes, the beautiful diamond blue of them shadowing into a deep marine blue. it should've scared you, made you want to crawl into your own skin, but instead, it drove you in more.

she was immediate to picking you up, having your legs wrap around her waist as your arms loosely hung around her neck.

the moment you got to her bedroom, she laid you down on her bed, kissing down from your exposed stomach, to your cunt, pressing gentle kisses onto it. you whimpered, pleading for more — for about anything — and she gave in, her mouth latching onto your sweet cunt, devouring you as her hands gripped at your hips, nails clawing into your skin.

you had never felt this ecstasy, this pure euphoric bliss that made your body feel as if it was on fire. you weren't denying how aubrey has made you feel good, but god, it was never like this.

aubrey was soft with you, like if you were easy to break; cassie wanted to break you, for her own satisfaction and to get an endless high out of you.

maybe you were deprived of sex and your libido had been decreased because you were about ready to cum all over cassie’s mouth, yet you decided to hold onto it a little longer.

“you’re doing s’fucking good, cassie,” you moaned, letting words and moans slip out in between each other as your hands found placement on her head, fingers curling into her dark hair.

she only hummed against your cunt, the vibrations rolling around it, and your back arched, eyes rolling back to the point that stars were sparkling in your vision.

she was eating you in pure desire and lust, not wasting a drop of your taste as her nails made an indent into your soft skin.

any ounce of guilt or shame you had felt, simply faded away in this moment; the way cassie physically yearned for you, even as her mouth was glued to your cunt and it seemingly was still not enough for her.

the heat in your abdomen only intensified, threatening to let go of itself entirely before you could even warn cassie.

“i need to— i need to cum, please,” you panted, and cassie hummed in response, giving your plush thighs a chaste squeeze as a signal that you could do so.

you began to ride your cunt against her mouth, practically forcing herself to stay latched to you as your body shivered and began to run out your climax, your back arching.

“fuck, cassie! cass, oh my god!” you cried, the orgasm deepening in your bones as tidal waves of pure bliss electrocuted you.

you hadn’t been pleased in what felt like a decade, and the older woman stayed in between your thighs as she gathered up every last drop and taste of you on her tongue.

she stayed down on you for about a few moments before leaning up, her mouth and chin glistening with your sweet juices.

her pupils were shot and dilated, like she just got a fresh taste of a new addiction. “are you okay, baby?” she breathlessly asked, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, and you nodded, humming.

she pulled herself forward to kiss you as she moaned against your mouth, and was grinding herself against your own crotch, earning a desperate whine out of you.

“not finished just yet, sweetheart,” she stated, kissing your forehead. “i’ll make sure this is all worth it, and i want to prove it to you.”

you wanted to ask what she meant, but the primal need for you was shining in her eyes, and you only nodded.

cassie momentarily got off of you, opening up the drawer to her nightstand as you tried to take a peek at what she was trying to grab, and she got up from off the bed, stripping off her clothes from her bottom half and her top.

you shyly looked away, deciding to sit up to take off your own dress and the second you got the slightest glimpse of a nude cassie, you saw a strap harness being tugged perfectly around her hips.

she turned back around to face you, and your eyes caught the sight of the thick silicone dick before looking back up at you.

“how do you want to do this, baby?” she wondered, squatting down to your level as you mindlessly stared at her, your brain shaking with numerous thoughts.

“i’ve— well, when i’ve had sex with aubrey,” you began, swallowing thickly. “i was never in control, and we never used a strap. i mean i’ve used a dildo before but—”

“but nothing like this?” cassie wondered, and you shook your head. “we don’t have to do this, honey.”

“i want it, i want you,” you rambled, pouting. “i was the one who did most of the giving, and it’s been so long.”

cassie gently grasped your jaw, softly sighing at the mere sight of you — glowing and delicate before her, begging to unravel and entirely claim you.

“i’ll make you feel s’good, sweet girl,” she kissed your lips, smiling against them. “you deserve every inch of me and of pleasure.”

she let go of your face, guiding you to lay back down on the bed, and propped your head up with an extra pillow. her hands grasped onto the back of your knees, hoisting your legs up to dangle over her shoulders as you could feel the thick silicone being brushed up against your cunt.

“are you sure about this, baby?” cassie wondered, a hint of worry and desperation knotted into her tone. “i don’t want you to regret anything.”

“this is the only thing i’ve ever been sure about in my life,” you stated, eyes glued to hers and gave her a reassuring smile. “deprave me, ruin me — i’m yours.”

the moment cassie pushed her cock into your cunt, slowly and carefully, there was a shared moan as her eyes were heavily fixated on the sight of you swallowing her in.

“you’re fucking perfect,” she mumbled under her breath, towering over you before her eyes flickered back in yours, and she gently thrusted. “been dreaming about this for months, baby. you have no idea.”

“i want you to go faster, please,” you begged, eyebrows drawing together in visible need. “i need you to, i can’t wait.”

cassie honored your wishes, groaning to herself as she fastened her pace, her eyes momentarily looking at your cunt coating her cock. “this is all my girl needed, huh?” she breathily asked, her eyes shifting back into yours. “just needed to be fucked nice and good, jesus fuck— i need you to cum on my cock.”

“i will, promise!” you whined, cassie placing a kiss to your leg. “s’fucking good, i can feel you in me.”

“i know, sweetheart, i know. it’s just too good and too much for you, isn’t it?” cassie mockingly cooed, frowning. “but you won’t let me down, you never do.”

there was pure lust that circulated throughout the bedroom, the sound of skin collision bouncing off the walls, and you were you’d woken up her neighbors from how loud you were being.

her hands had grabbed at your waist, the plush of your skin seeping in between her fingers as she lifted you up from your bottom, roughly and mindlessly pounding into your cunt.

you could feel yourself being ripped open around her cock, letting her use and unravel you all before her, and you could see stars playing in your vision. you felt like her personal fuck doll from the way she had you dangling, your lower half continuing to be held up by her as she persisted on eagerly fucking you.

you could cry purely from how good it felt, and how you hadn’t been pleasured this well or perfectly in forever.

“i think ‘m gonna cum,” you mumbled, simply cock drunk and your eyes were droopy yet still remained looking into hers. “please let me cum, please.”

“how much do you need it?” cassie wondered, a grin playing on her lips. “tell me how much you need it, and maybe i will let you cum.”

“please, please,” you cried, the high hitting against your stomach, and pleading to be free. “will let you cum in me, anything you want.”

cassie dropped your legs to the bed, instead bringing your knees up to your chest and forced you to hold them there, groaning and panting while the sounds of your sopping cunt squelched and further coated her strap.

“cum for me, sweetheart, c’mon,” she said, the colliding of her skin against yours being rough enough to leave minor bruises later on. “i’ll cum in your sweet cunt.”

you hummed, your body complying immediately and your high ran up and out of you, squirming around which only led to cassie’s hands holding your body down into the mattress.

“such a good girl — fuck i’m cumming in you — you’re soaking my cock,” cassie groaned, a tremble in the bass of her voice, and you could see stars and the room spinning in your vision. “s’fucking perfect for me, oh my god.”

she thrusted out yours and hers shared climax as your brain clouded with haze and pure euphoria, a dumb smile playing on your face. you were sure you looked like a fucked out idiot, cassie’s eye shimmering with affection for you.

“oh, you’re my girl,” she mumbled as she kissed your neck and collarbones. “are you okay, did i hurt you?”

you shook your head, frowning. “i know you’d never hurt me.”

cassie grinned, trying to control her breathing and carefully let herself out of you before taking off the entire harness. “let’s get you cleaned up,” she said, and you groaned. “you don’t have to walk, i’ll carry you, baby.”

you only hummed, letting your body entirely relax as she easily picked you up and you rested your head on your chest, able to hear her rapid heartbeat.

cassie gently sat you down on top of the toilet cover, hurrying to run a bath for the two of you. you were in constant daze, soreness beginning to ache your lower half, and you hadn't entirely registered what had happened, what you had just signed up for.

you were waiting for pure nauseous and shame to hit you all at once, and you'd start crying. yet, the second cassie turned around and came back up to you, asking you again if you were okay and checking for any signs of hurt, all of that vanished.

she carried you and settled you down into the warm bathtub, herself kneeling at the side of the bath as she got a loofah wet and lathered with a sage-citrus body wash.

"you won't join me?" you frowned, bringing you knees up to your chest.

"don't worry about me, baby. let me keep taking care of you," she said, almost as if she begging to, as if this was her only pure purpose to exist. "i'm just scared i won't be able to do this again."

would there be an again? would this happen one more time, and then that's when the guilt would hit you suddenly?

"i'm a horrible person for this, aren't i?" you asked, the loofah being washed over your back first. "this surely violates some rules at work, too."

cassie chuckled. "you're not horrible. if anything, i am."

you shot her a saddened look, shaking your head. "you could never be horrible, cass," you mumbled, not realizing tears were welling up in your eyes. "you are the only good, beautiful thing in this world."

she only smiled small, continuing to bathe you in silence and closed your eyes as she did so, letting yourself enjoy this one moment of peace and care.

you didn't text or call cassie after that night, not for a few days. you switched your schedule, where you worked on different days then her — whether that was the day or night shift.

anything just to avoid her.

to see her was to remember how you cheated, how you let yourself be vulnerable in front of her, and let her unravel all parts of you that desired her.

in the process of it all, you didn't make conversations with santos — even when she had a punching joke to make — or whitaker, who kept giving you this look of regret.

"what's going on with you?" robby asked the second you walked into the emergency department, not awake enough to even deal with him. "you've been off your game."

"personal stuff," you muttered, walking to the lockers as he trailed behind. "seriously, i'm good."

"well, samira and langdon are out for the day so," he began, exhaling heavily. "i called in mckay to help you out in triage."

you immediately looked at him, knowing he could tell your heart sunk to your stomach. "why her? i can handle triage by myself."

"you can't," he shrugged. "is there something i should know?"

"no, dr. robby," you sighed, shoving your bag into your locker, and slamming it shut.

the second you stepped out of lockers, cassie saw you and dead stopped in her tracks. her under eyes looked darkened and almost swollen, like she had been crying and hadn't been sleeping.

"hurry up, please," is all you managed to saw, going to grab a tablet to start looking at patients. you could feel her eyes on you with each step you made, and could hear a heavy sigh exhale from her as you rummaged with mere regret.

“why are you ignoring me?” cassie asked, forcing the tablet out of your hand, and you looked at her. “i knew not to come by in case of aubrey but, you could learn to send me a message.”

“i’ve been busy,” you mumbled, shrugging. “i wasn’t ignoring you.”

“you forgot how to turn off your read receipts,” she bluntly stated, and you groaned under your breath. “did i do something wrong? do you regret what happened?”

the night came fluttering back to your mind, the memory making a warm feeling bloom in your chest, and you inhaled sharply. you remembered how dilated cassie’s eyes had been from just tasting you, and how she hungered for you, how even a drop from your sweet cunt was addicting enough.

you didn’t regret sleeping with her, you never could. you regret going behind aubrey’s back, and not understanding how it got to this point.

“chairs are filling up more, let’s go,” you said, gesturing to her to follow you to the waiting area. you could hear a exasperated sigh come from cassie as you were only a few feet in front of her, yet followed you anyways.

the first few hours of the shift went by slow, mostly working in triage with cassie the entire time until robby handed it over to victoria and samira to handle the second he overheard at you and her bumping heads with a patient in the room.

“finish your sets of patients from this morning separately,” robby demanded, clearly frustrated and overwhelmed. “the two of you usually work the best together, so please just get it fixed before i make you both a human resources problem.”

you nodded, and he sighed, walking away to go treat an incoming trauma. you were about to do the same until cassie’s hand grasped at your hand, dragging you into the break room.

anyone hardly ever came into it, given the fact that the emergency department was always chaotic, which made it entirely free.

“i can’t keep doing this with you,” cassie said, a tremble at the edge of her voice. “i don’t like getting angry or frustrated with you, it breaks my heart.”

you stood there, fidgeting with your badge and wanting to cry. you didn’t mean to get upset, but being in close proximity to her made you want to melt into a puddle, and forget all of your morals all over again.

“baby, you have to speak to me,” she stated, dropping your wrist and taking an inch closer to you. “whether that means you say you don’t want this or do want it — i just need something to work with.”

“i don’t know, cassie,” you shrugged. “aubrey was waiting up for me the morning i went back home, and it just made me realize i’m a bad person.”

“you’re not a bad person,” cassie assured, shaking her head. “i pursued you — not the other way around.”

“but i still gave into it because when it comes to you, i just,” you trailed off, lowering your head as tears crept to your eyes. “i just bare my whole soul to you, and you somehow find devotion in it.”

“i find devotion in all of you, sweetheart,” cassie said. “you’re worth it all, i promise that. but am i worth it to you?”

the question hung in the air because it was one that you had been conflicted with since the first day, since the time she carried you to her bed and made sure you were comfortable, since the first kiss and touch.

you had mulled over the question the first night you and her had sex, and you were straddled on her lap.

you could hear it in her voice, the plea to assure her that she was worth something to you as you were everything to her.

you could feel cassie’s eyes burning into you, her impatience wrapping up as you took your time to answer the simplest question that she had the answer to if anyone were to ask her the same.

“do you think i’m a horrible person?” she asked, in the same manner and tone as that night.

“you could never be horrible,” you softly told her, finally gathering courage to look at her. you wanted to continue on, say how she was the only good and beautiful thing in this world once more, but instead, you let your words linger around as you walked out of the break room, and back to your set of patients.

by the end of your shift, you stood outside of the hospital, waiting for your lyft driver to pick you up. the weather was beginning to get a bit colder, shivering in your jacket, and you heard footsteps padding behind you, stopping on a few centimeters away with your name being called.

"what are you doing out here?" cassie asked, and you refused to turn around, looking down at your phone. "where's your car?"

"getting fixed up," you responded, seeing how the driver was still about ten minutes away.

"what about aubrey?"

"her car is also in the shop," you said, shrugging to yourself. "it's fine, i can wait and it just needs another day or two."

"let me give you a ride," cassie offered, and that caused to turn around to look at her. "it's really late out here, and it's cold. we don't even need to speak."

you only stared at her, weighing your options and tried to find any reason not to get in her car.

"sweetheart, i know you're freezing and i know you don't want to be in some strangers car," she stated, and you hummed under your breath, before nodding and cancelling the trip. "i won't even speak, not a bit."

you didn't argue with her, only trailing right behind her as you both made your way to her car.

the walk was brief and followed with silence, and you swore your heartbeat picked up each second and step when you were getting closer to her car.

she unlocked the vehicle, both of you getting in at the same time. she started the car, eyeing you for a second to make sure you had your seatbelt on. you kept your eyes forward as she began to drive out of the hospital's parking lot, the music on the road playing at a low volume.

you fidgeted with your fingers, picking at your cuticles and felt like you had to hold your breath the entire time. this was the worse silence between you and cassie, and you know she could pick up on your nerves, how you were trembling due to every exhale you let go of.

you took a slight look at her hands, how they were harshly grasping at the steering wheel and there was a clear white in her knuckles.

thoughts flooded your brain, questions you wanted to ask her, anything to break this silence that she vowed to because you were not used to this — every car ride she had given you before, there was never a moment of quiet.

this was new. everything felt rushed and new to you, and it made you feel like you were on the brink of a panic attack.

"why are you okay with this?" you blurted out, you and cassie both taking a quick look at one another. "you know i'm cheating and... and i don't know if you are still seeing that guy."

"i'm not seeing him anymore. i called it quits when you left that morning," she answered, sighing heavily. "and i didn't really like him that much, he was boring."

"you didn't answer my other question."

"because there's something special about you, always has been," she said, shrugging. "and i don't know, maybe i have this idiotic hope you will choose me eventually."

you were too focused on how she was possessing you, that you hadn't considered all the ways you were ruining her — either in all the ways she wanted, or didn't know was even possible.

the way cassie made you feel — electric and alive — you had never felt an inch of when you met aubrey, when you had kissed her for the first time. you remember being told you will feel love and the wanting for someone so deep in your bones, it basically becomes your only way of living and breathing.

maybe it would have been better to had break up with aubrey the moment you had a faster heartbeat for cassie, and you didn't have to grapple and tackle with your guilt and multitude of questions that made your situation with cassie all more complex.

"cassie," you shuddered, not realizing how your nerves made you tremble. you looked at her, and she took a second to look back at you, your face and the way you nearly moaned her name make it enough to not ask anything else.

her hand started on your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze and sat there for a minute or two, but her fingers were close to your clothed cunt. you could tell she was taking a longer route to your apartment as she gave a tap to your thigh, a signal to spread your legs slightly wider and you happily obliged.

"you need to ask nicely, baby," cassie stated.

"please touch me, cass," you pleaded, frowning. "touch what you know is yours."

she only hummed, slipping her hands in under your leggings and panties, teasingly running her fingers in between your sopping folds. "my girl just needed me, isn't that right?" she asked, and you whimpered, rutting against her hand. "i'll stop if you're not patient."

"please, cassie."

"maybe i'll deny you like you've been denying me," cassie stated, grinning to herself before she curled two fingers into your cunt. “what a fucking desperate cunt; i wonder how you’d even survive without my touch for months.”

"cassie, just please," you continued to plead, tugging at her wrist. "i need you so much."

"you always need me, baby," she stated, slowly thrusting her fingers. "you'd just die without me, isn't that right?"

you hummed, nodding and stifled whines under your breath. your hand stayed on her wrist, trying to keep your legs apart and eyes fixated on your lap.

"you're fucking dripping," cassie cursed under her breath, knowing her own arousal was growing by the second as she paced her fingers, pumping in three fingers that slowly stretched you out.

your mind was everywhere and you were trying to focus — the music on the radio felt like a sign from god, cassie fucking you open with her fingers alone, and how your heartbeat was thumping against your chest.

your head lulled back, and warmth crept up into your abdomen, your legs pulling together in response to it.

"feel like 'm gonna cum," you whined, your grip around cassie's wrist slightly tightening. "i need to, please please."

"you think you deserve it, sweetheart?," cassie asked, pulling over to a random curbside that was private. "going to cum all over my fingers like a whore, hm?"

"mhm, i'm your whore, i promise i am," you babbled, not giving a second thought to what was eliciting from you, whines and moans sewn between everything you said. "i want to be your whore forever."

"you already are, sweet girl," she stated, so sure and promising of it as she took off her seatbelt and inched closer to you. "look at me — c’mon, you need to or i'll stop."

your eyes flickered open and stared directly into hers, your eyebrows furrowed together as you could feel your high about to entirely tip over.

"give me a kiss, sweetheart, come here," cassie said, bringing you in for a kiss and fastened her fingers once more before you felt as if you were going to burst, your climax being freed. you moaned into her mouth, your arms immediately wrapping around her neck to hold her closer to you while she helped you ride out your high.

she slowly broke apart the kiss, her hand coming out from under your pants and your eyes widened to how you perfectly coated her fingers. she hummed in amusement, looking at you.

"open," is all she quipped, and you obliged, her fingers sliding into your mouth as you gently sucked to clean them. "you're perfect, i can't get enough of you."

cassie's fingers came out of your mouth with a soft pop before grabbing a napkin and wiped them freshly clean. "now let's get you home to that sweet girlfriend of yours, yeah?" she said, almost as if she was taunting you, and giving you a harsh reminder of everything.

you gathered your breathing on the rest of the drive, you and cassie not talking any further, and your stomach turned into knots with every last turn she made heading towards your apartment.

this affair would suffocate you, but it utterly bloomed parts of you that went long suppressed — and you were terrified of what the end results would be to it all.

cassie parked and before you could even get out, she stopped you. she fumbled for something in the pocket of her coat, bringing out a key as she handed it to you.

"what's this?" you wondered, slowly accepting it.

"a spare," cassie responded, shrugging. "in case you ever change your mind."

you nodded and put the key in your purse, getting out of her car. you rushed to your apartment, still able to feel cassie's eyes locked onto you until you entirely disappeared out of her vision.

the second you got to your apartment, you hurriedly unlocked the front door and got inside. you found aubrey sitting at the kitchen island, eating a late dinner as she smiled at the sight of you.

"hey babe," she greeted, and you took off your shoes, dropping your purse on top of them. you noticed a fresh set of flowers on top of the island, which caught you off guard because she rarely bought you flowers unless you reminded her to. "those are for you. i just... i wanted us to talk."

"you did?" you asked, trying not to sound nervous and sat down across from her. a million thoughts came to your head, almost sure that she had found out about the affair and you were about ready to break into tears. "what's going on?"

"i know we've been going through a lot recently," she started, both of you sharing mutual eye contact. "and i haven't been the greatest, letting my insecurities get the best of me when it even came to cassie. i need to learn to trust you more."

you shook your head. "it's honestly okay, honey. don't even worry about it."

"it's not okay. i've shut you out and left you alone," she stated, and you inhaled sharply. "i want us to work, i do. i only see you in my future, and i want to be a better person for you. you make me want to be a better person."

you were about to bend over and throw up on the floor because you were a horrible person, and you went months having feelings for someone else — and here was aubrey, trying to amend things when you had cassie's fingers deep in you not even twenty minutes ago.

"you have supported my career, and i should be equally supporting you, being there for you," she pointed out as you realized she genuinely seemed guilty and upset, making your stomach turn in all weird ways. "i only want you and this — i know we can make it work."

"of course we can," you immediately agreed, nodding — yet, you were trying to convince yourself rather than her, but she didn't seem to notice.

"i'm so sorry i've neglected you. i love you so much," aubrey assured, frowning and came to your side to embrace you into a hug, which you easily reciprocated.

"i love you more. i... i want us to work out too," you said, looking at your purse that had a key to cassie's place. "i hope we can fix everything."

and fixing everything meant cutting off cassie, for good.

only a few hours later, you were staring at the ceiling and aubrey was asleep next to you. there was a heavy weight on your chest, and you needed to end things immediately before waiting until you could see cassie at work.

you gently shook aubrey, sitting up. "babe, they called me in," you whispered, and she groaned. "i guess ellis called out and they're overloaded right now."

"are you serious?" aubrey mumbled, stuffing her face into her pillow.

"it's only for a few hours, and maybe i can get another day off for it," you said, getting out of the bed and stripping off your pajamas. “i think they even called in victoria so i won’t be entirely alone.”

she hummed, nodding. “just come back home as soon as you can,” she muttered, and you changed into a hoodie and sweatpants. “are you okay taking a ride share this late?”

“yeah, i’ll call up the shop later to get the update about our cars,” you said, coming to her side of the bed to give her a kiss on top of her head. “see you later, babe.”

you put on your shoes that were by the front door, grabbing your purse, and rushed out of the apartment. you paid for a lyft the second you stepped outside into the cold pittsburgh weather, knowing the ride would be short due to cassie’s place not being so far.

the second you got into the car, you sat in your thoughts and mulling over how you were going to officially cut things off — you knew you had to do it gently and explain a reasoning, even willing to tell cassie you can try to work at a different hospital.

you didn’t realize the time to be a little after midnight, feeling bad that you’d wake up cassie this late but you need some weight off your mind, and to know this affair would be over.

she surely wouldn’t get mad at you for it, to end it and that you could both try to go back to normal lives that were happening before everything had started.

you were too far into your mind, you didn’t realize how fast time had past as the car came to the halt, and you were right outside cassie’s apartment building. you thanked the driver before getting out, and heading onwards to her apartment, almost hurrying as if it someone would catch you in a second.

you reached her front door, softly knocking on it loud enough to alert her, but not enough to disturb her neighbors.

few seconds had past by, leading you to reach for the spare key she had given you, and before you could put it to the door, it opened widely with a merely exhausted cassie.

“sweetheart? what’re you doing here?” she asked, yawning, and you saw how she was wearing a loose tank top and boxers for sleep. her eyes adjusted to how you were shaky and how you seemed easily shameful. “what’s wrong? come inside.”

you walked into her apartment, putting your purse near her coat rack as you awkwardly stood in her living room, watching how she kept her distance. she turned on the lamp to expose enough light for the two of you to see each other, her arms crossed over her chest.

“aubrey wants to fix things with me,” you started off, inhaling sharply. “i’m willing to do it, too. maybe things could change for the better.”

“so what you’re telling me is you want to end this?” cassie wondered, and you nodded. “i mean, is that really what you want?”

“she seemed sincere, cass. she even bought me flowers—”

“you told me she rarely buys you flowers unless you begged for it,” she cut you off, confused and slightly taken aback. “will you tell her about this?”

“are you insane? nobody can ever know,” you scoffed, shaking your head. “if aubrey knew, i’m sure she’d find a way to ruin my life.”

“i doubt that’d happen. besides, you can come right back to me,” cassie assured, and you rolled your eyes. “you know you’ll always come right back to me — you can’t help it.”

“this was meant to be casual, a one time thing,” you said, shrugging in thought. “it was never meant to happen again and again.”

“it’s an affair, sweetheart. it’ll never be casual,” she stated, slowly walking up closer to you. “if you really want this to be done, look me straight in the eye and mean it.”

“i do mean it.”

“no you don’t,” cassie denied, now only a few inches away from you. “you don’t even sound sure about it.”

she purposely came closer, her hand grasping onto your chin to force you to look at her before you dared to try to look in the other direction.

“i doubt she could even make you cum properly, sweetheart,” cassie said, and you could nearly smack yourself from how you felt the need to drop to your knees in front of her. “who else will take care of you? you think you’ll feel good with her?”

you tried to get your face out of her grip, but she wouldn’t budge a bit.

“tell me you don’t want me anymore. tell me you’ll be just fine without me,” she coaxed, bringing her hand down and let it rest on your waist, tucked under your sweater.

“cassie,” you exhaled, as if her name had been strangling inside of your throat and got caught. “i want to be good.”

“you are good,” she reassured, mocking a frown. “you’re such a good, sweet girl — an honest one, at that. so, i’ll ask you again—”

“i have to fix this with aubrey.”

cassie paused, slightly tilting her head in thought as she grinned. “you could’ve texted me all of this — you could’ve even waited until work — but you insisted on coming here instead because you need something.”

“that’s not true,” you protested.

“tell me you’re not wet right now,” she pried, her hand sneaking in lower and barely brushed over your covered cunt. “because i know you are, and i know you don’t want this over.”

you mentally cursed at yourself, not even wanting to push her away because you needed her. it made you nearly sick how easy you were for her, how she had this much control, and she probably knew that too.

"do you want me to stop?" cassie asked if she needed the final confirmation and assurance that you were endlessly hers, and she could do as pleased.

your body easily adjusted to her touch, to how close her face was to yours to the point you could smell fresh spearmint from her, and your lips were in dire need of hers against yours.

you were already too far into this situation with cassie, so why end it now? what's wrong with just one more night, one more moment of cassie fucking you?

"don't stop," you breathed, like your chest had been holding onto your words. "never stop, cassie."

there was a light that flickered behind her eyes as she desperately pulled you into a kiss, the crushing weight of both mouths pressing together surely able to create a bruise in a few hours.

she carefully led you both to her bedroom, one of her hands holding the back of your head to make sure it wouldn't bump into anything, only for her to throw your legs around her waist as her hands gripped to the back of your thighs to hold you up.

you moaned, her lips finding way to the cusp of your neck and a plethora of kisses and gentle bites were marked into it. she laid you down on her bed, not wasting a second of taking off each other's clothes.

you remained bare in her bed, her eyes fixated on how beautiful were, how she thought of all the ways she could break you again. she hovered over, kissing you once more and her hand cupped your cunt, a single finger teasing between your slick folds.

"hear that, baby? your cunt needs me," she muttered in between the kiss, and you nodded, whimpering. "say you're pathetic for me — say it."

"i'm pathetic for only you, cass," you elicited, so sharply clear with each syllable, almost a plea of desperation tied in your tone. "i'll always be pathetic for you."

"oh, i know, sweetheart," cassie smiled, almost pleased with how obedient you were. "get on your knees and maybe then i'll consider fucking you."

you nearly sprang off the bed, coming down to the carpet as you watched her put on her harness in a hasty manner. it only took her barely a minute, turning around while you looked up at her.

"you're a smart girl, you know what to do," she said, and you opened your mouth, her cock perfectly slipping into it. she grabbed the top of your head with both hands, controlling how you paced yourself yet you maintained sharp eye contact with her.

you were glad your gag reflex was minimal and made sure to breathe out of your nose as she didn't wait another minute to start fucking her cock down your throat, tears welling your eyes.

"maybe i should send aubrey a picture of you like this to her," cassie casually threatened, seemingly amused with herself. "let her know that her girlfriend will do anything for me to fuck her. you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

you gurgled a response, one that you knew she chose to ignore, and drool began to form around your mouth, slowly dripping down your chin down to your breasts.

your cheeks were beautifully hallowed in, and cassie could nearly cum from this sight of you — perfectly sucking her dick, letting her use you and get her all wet.

her strength on top of your head had toughened, forcing your head down deeper onto her cock, stiffled coughs eliciting from you, and she pulled back, letting you gather air.

"you think you had enough, honey?" she asked, and you inhaled sharply, your eyes red and glossy. "you gotta speak to me."

"not fucking done," you mumbled, and cassie got soaked, getting your mouth back around her dick, fucking your throat again.

you knew sucking her off got her off, how her face was flustered and her eyes fixated on how you took every inch of her like you were made for it.

cassie gave your head a final push, keeping her in your mouth for a few seconds, holding barely any room for you to properly breathe. your hands sat on her thighs, nails digging into her skin as she slipped her cock out of your mouth, and you coughed.

"you did such a good job, baby," cassie cooed, frowning and came down to your level, wiping your tears. "don't cry, it's okay. do you want to stop?"

you shook your head. "no, please."

"you squeeze my arm two times if you want to stop," she said, and you nodded while she gave your cheek a chaste kiss. she instantly grabbed the back of your neck, forcing you up with her, and put you on the bed, bending you over.

the bed's weight shifted as she knelt behind you, her hand placed on your back. you perfectly arched, your ass faced up and your face into the mattress, feeling the tip of her cock pressing against your swollen hole.

without any warning, cassie slowly pushed herself into your cunt, a stifled whimper eliciting from you, and a hungry groan coming out of her.

she grabbed both your hands, forcing them behind your back and used them as leverage to hold herself as she began to pound into you. the sound of skin colliding against one another prodded off the bedroom walls, your mixture of wanton noises being suppressed into the mattress while cassie's eyes stayed focused on her cock fucking into you.

"you know how fucking easy you are, baby?" cassie breathed, her nails digging into your skin. "coming over here just to get me to fuck you. i was right earlier — you would die without me."

"all for you, cassie," you muttered, your head floating with daze and euphoria, your eyes rolling back as she perfectly hit against your spot. "only you can make me feel this good."

"i know i can, you're fuckin' soaking my cock like a whore," she groaned, cursing something under her breath in the process. "maybe if your girlfriend came over, i could show her how good i make you feel and why she isn't enough."

somehow the idea of that turned you on further, and it was enough to make you reach the peak of an orgasm, the heat rising and spreading throughout your lower half.

"jesus fuck, you liked hearing that," she pointed out, and you mumbled in response, whines and whimpers knitted into your words. "you're about to cum all over me because i know you liked to be fucked; so filthy and perverted."

"i—i need to cum, need to s'much," you prattled, and cassie's hold on your arms got tighter, giving you to the permission to do so.

cassie had made you cum numerous times, being the only person to successfully to do so, but this time, everything rushed over you and entirely claimed you.

you felt a firestorm of lust raise on your skin and burn in the room, your orgasm electrifying your body as you collapsed down onto the bed, only allowing cassie to continue to thrust into you to help you ride out every moment of your high.

she didn't pull out of you, only letting go of your wrists and turning you over onto your back, staying inside of you with every movement. she didn't say anything else, only bringing your knees up to your chest and had you hold them close to you, kissing your forehead.

she worked with the same pace, gently rubbing your bud as it made your flinch from how sensitive you were, only earning an amused, breathy chuckle from her.

her bangs stuck to her forehead, her chain dangling over you with every thrust, and she continued to eye your body, taking in every inch and piece of you.

cassie wanted to bite your delicate skin, leave any mark she could so you could remember her for days. she slightly leaned over, grabbing you by your jaw, and only examined you -- you were free use only to her, willing to let her stretch out your cunt as you were overwhelmed with pleasure and satisfaction, it being visibly clear on your face.

her hand shifted from your face to your stomach, pressing down onto it and further drilled herself into you, becoming perfectly too much for you. you cried out her name in a plead of symphonies, your moans filling up her entire home, and her other hand continued to play with your cunt.

your body squirmed and trembled, ecstasy possessing you with each thrust cassie made, with each harder press she made on your stomach — it was like nothing you had experienced before, and something only she could do to you.

you were at her power, at her captivation, and nothing nor nobody could be good enough as her.

maybe it was cruel to think that way because of aubrey, but her desires came before yours — and cassie made sure yours were taken care of without ever considering herself.

"you gonna cum, baby?" she asked, and you hummed, mindlessly nodding. you were easily cock drunk, getting more wet at how you could feel how she filled you up and you wanted her to keep using you for the rest of the night. "tell me how much you love me, then."

you tried to keep your droopy eyes open, tilting your head in curiosity.

"only get to cum if you tell me you love me, sweet girl," she insisted, and you sat up on your elbows, letting your legs lazily drop. "you love me, don't you?"

you didn't know if you were truly desperate to come, but the words came out like word vomit as you clearly told her, "i love you s'much, cassie. you're the only one i love."

"i love you more, i love you so much, you'll never know," cassie confessed, and you whimpered, her hand coming up to the side of your face, cupping it. "i knew you were my girl since that first day."

"i love you, i love you," you jabbered, brows knitting together as you looked up at you, and your climax washed over you before you could warn her, a choked cry bouncing out from you. "i love you s'fucking much, cass."

cassie held herself up and over you, coming down to press a soft kiss to your lips and the side of your neck. she slowly gathered her breathing, trying to adjust it back into a normal pattern, and you carefully analyzed, making sure she was okay.

she slowly got herself out of you, taking off the harness, and reality rushed back to you, nearly knocking the wind out of you. you sat up, panic slowly starting to settle in, and you locked eyes with cassie.

"i did it again," you muttered, feeling like you were about to hyperventilate. "how long am i going to keep doing this?"

"i'm confused," cassie stood in front of you, hands on her hips. "i thought you wanted to do this."

"i did, i did! but i've said i love you to you!" you panicked, and cassie sat next to you, practically manhandling as she put you down on your lap, making you look at her. "and aubrey wanted to fix everything with me, and she felt bad—"

"baby, breathe," cassie said, softly shushing you. "i love you, and it's okay if you didn't mean it. but i do love you — it fucking aches my soul sometimes."

you swallowed thickly, collapsing against her body as she wrapped her arms around you, holding you. "i did mean it," you muttered, not sure if she heard you. "i'm terrible, i'm awful for cheating."

"you'll never be terrible," cassie said, kissing the side of your head. "i love you, and you're not terrible. i want to show and teach you that you're not."

"i have to go back soon," you said, looking at the small digital clock on her nightstand, reading 3:57AM on it. "i said i got called in."

"just stay with me for an hour," cassie told you, and you nodded, the two of you holding one another. you don't know how long you stayed like that with her, but you didn't mind nor care — she was there, and that's all that mattered.

it was nearly six in the morning when you opened your apartment door, slipping off your shoes and dropping your purse after you had shut it closed.

you needed to sleep entirely, maybe for a whole twelve hours and then maybe you would find all the correct words to tell aubrey that the relationship was at its end.

you dragged yourself over to the bedroom, yawning and your eyes were slowly closing, thinking about just sleeping on the couch since it was the closest.

you rubbed your eyes before you opened the bedroom door, just to find aubrey sleeping next to another figure that was in your spot. you were sure you were hallucinating from how exhausted you had become, and your brain was playing some joke on you so you rubbed your eyes again — but the same person remained next to aubrey.

and they were both nude.

"are you fucking kidding me!" you yelled, jolting them both awake and to sit up. you stood by the door frame, and you knew for a moment you were a bit hypocritical for getting angry — you did just come back from having another night of sex with your coworker. "who is that!"

the random girl looked at aubrey, at you, and then down at her lap while aubrey tried to find what to say to you, to make up any excuse or justification.

"don't bother to lie," you started, holding up a hand. "i just need to know when it started."

aubrey and her refused to answer, and you looked directly at the stranger. silence filled up the room, the outside traffic of pittsburgh being the only distant noise to come creeping in.

"what's your name?" you asked her, causing her to look at you. "first of all, i'm not mad at you."

"my name is lindsay," she answered, and you knew that name sounded familiar.

"is this the lindsay you mentioned when we first moved here, and you started your job?" you directly asked aubrey, and your partner slowly nodded. "so how long has this been going on for?"

"before you even started at the hospital," aubrey confessed, and you inhaled sharply. "lindsay comes when you work night and... and when i go out of town for work."

"so you've been doing her for what? like a year?" you asked, needing clarification and they both nodded. "this is insane. you're fucking insane."

aubrey hurriedly threw on a baggy shirt as she followed you out of the bedroom when you were going right back to putting on your shoes and grabbing your purse, profusely apologizing and asking for forgiveness.

all the guilt and regret you were feeling had gone out the window — you weren't exactly justifying your own doing, but it did seem like an eye for an eye situation.

and she was cheating on you before you had even met cassie.

"get the fuck out of this apartment by tomorrow," you told her, pointing a finger in her face. "i pay majority of the rent, my name is on the lease — so get the fuck out of my place."

you rushed out of the apartment and you entirely blacked out, you honestly did, because you couldn't recall running down multiple blocks to cassie's apartment. you weren't even sure if you had looked both ways when crossing the streets or if you had accidentally bumped into people — all you knew is that you had to get to cassie's or you were going to faint.

you only knew you had been running when you almost ran into cassie's door before heavily knocking on it, and you were trying to catch your breath.

cassie opened it only a few seconds later, and her face softened into worry as you didn't also realize you were sobbing.

she pulled you right inside, slamming the door and brought you over to her couch, sitting you down. "baby, what's wrong?" she asked, squatting down in front of you and held your hands. "did you run all the way here?"

"i... i had to," you cried out, sniffling. "she cheated on me... she did it before i even worked at the pitt."

"wait, what?" cassie confusingly wondered, eyebrows furrowed together. "what do you mean she cheated?"

"i walked into the apartment and," you inhaled sharply, trying to find a way to catch your breath, "there was a girl there next to her. her name is lindsay, and aubrey admitted the affair between them started before i even met you."

"what the fuck," cassie muttered, and you sobbed more, bringing your head into your hands. "oh baby, i'm so, so sorry."

"i mean, i can't be mad," you cried, wiping your tears. "i cheated on her too so maybe i'm being stupid."

"sweetheart," cassie called, bringing your hands down to your lap and held them gently, kissing the back of them before lifting up your head so you could look at her. "she banned you from seeing me — she didn't even want you to babysit harrison. she was merely projecting before you even did anything. she's been in the wrong."

"i forgot she forbad me," you sniffled, chuckling. "can i stay here?"

"you don't ever need to ask," cassie reassured, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "how about you lay down for a bit, okay? i know you've barely slept."

"will you stay with me?" you asked, and she nodded, sitting down on the couch before you could lay down. you put your head down on her lap as she brought a blanket over your body, soothingly rubbing your back with one hand, the other giving your head gentle strokes.

you passed out due to exhaustion and for a moment, you could easily breathe.

you woke up to some arguing, some bickering between two distinct voices as your eyes slowly fluttered open and there was a minor headache pounding at your skull.

you yawned before sitting up, finding a way to adjust to the sunset that cracked through cassie’s living room windows.

you read the clock that was on her wall, realizing you had been asleep for about nearly twelve hours.

“i see her right there!” a voice called, and your head instantly turned around to it, noticing aubrey.

aubrey was at cassie’s door, and cassie was arguing with her to leave and get out while you felt your two worlds clashing together.

you stood up from the couch, remaining near it and not wanting aubrey to come inside at all. “what are you doing here?” you asked, crossing your arms over your chest.

“if cassie would let me in, i want to explain,” she stated, and cassie’s glared at her, having her arm up against the doorframe to make a barricade. “i was going to tell you, i swear i was.”

you scoffed, rolling your eyes.

“you need to get out of here,” cassie said, and aubrey looked annoyed, only angering both parties. “you’re on private property, and i can tell the police you’re threatening us.”

you hastily walked over to them before they could both throw a spew of threats and fighting at one another, swearing you would need a cigarette after everything was over with.

“if i let you come in,” you started, and cassie’s head snapped in your direction, seemingly confused, “you will only be telling me the whole truth.”

“i swear, only the truth,” aubrey promised, and you hummed, nodding for her to follow you. cassie stayed close behind, almost ready to pounce behind aubrey and get into altercation — but she did consider how she wouldn’t get an ankle monitor this time, she’d get jail time instead.

you sat down on the couch, bringing the blanket over your lap and cassie sat on the arm of it, her eyes following aubrey’s every move.

“why did you come here out of all places?” aubrey wondered, and you didn’t respond, only giving a flicker look to cassie.

“how did you know i’d even be here?” you asked, fidgeting with the blanket.

“i went to santos’ apartment and whitaker said you’d be here,” aubrey answered, and you sighed. “are you always here?”

“aren’t you here to explain to me why you’ve been cheating since the day we moved here?” you questioned, and she immediately nodded, just standing awkwardly a few feet away from you.

“i got lonely. you had also been so busy during college, and we grew easily distant,” she began, and cassie scoffed, detecting nonsense. “can she not be here for this?”

“you’re in my fucking house. you can keep talking or get out,” cassie insisted, and aubrey looked agitated, almost as if she wanted to fight her too.

“and every time i wanted to have sex, you were too busy studying or doing labs,” she said, and the headache intensified itself as you wanted to nearly burst into laughter.

what a load of bullshit.

“when we moved here and i got the job, lindsay was the first person to welcome me and,” she trailed off, and you wondered if she thought you were actually buying into what was she saying. “and it just started from there.”

“did you cheat on me during our time in college? when i did school at hopkins?” you asked, and aubrey not answering you — not even with a nod — gave you all the final answers. “i can’t fucking believe you.”

“it just happened,” aubrey said. “but it’s not like you haven’t been cheating either.”

“what?” you and cassie both said in a unison.

“why else would cassie be picking you up or drop you? babysit for her kid?” aubrey questioned, looking at you and cassie back and forth.

“because i’m her friend who likes to help her out,” you told her, which wasn’t a complete lie — aubrey had hers even before you even met cassie or moved to pittsburgh. “don’t try to turn this against me. you started cheating when we barely started dating.”

“i still want to fix this,” aubrey said, and you looked her dead in the eye, wondering if she was being serious. “we can fix this together.”

“get the fuck out,” cassie got up from the couch, prepared to physically escort her out. “you cheated, you lied — you never deserved her.”

“and you do?” aubrey wondered, and you stood up from the couch, having to separate them again.

“you know i do, she does too,” cassie stated, and aubrey shoved her, not aggressively but enough to make her stumble a few steps back.

“okay, you’re both pissing me off,” you said, and sat back down. “aubrey, i expect you out of the apartment by tomorrow.”

“baby, come on,” aubrey pleaded, and you nearly broke into tears all over again. you had spent so much of your time feeling guilty, pushing cassie away and rejecting her because you were filled with this shame that you nearly succumbed.

you were about to leave her behind for good, and try to mend things. maybe it was a twisted sign and luck that you found out, that you stumbled upon aubrey when you did.

“i never want to see you again, i never want to hear from you,” you said, voice cracking, and cassie knelt in front of you, holding your hands.

aubrey looked in awe, her stomach sinking to her stomach. cassie was incredibly gentle with you, speaking to you as if you were the purest thing in the room, and she knew from that alone, she’d never compare and that some of her own intuition had been right.

aubrey had grow envious, how you visibly bared your vulnerability to cassie, and cassie welcomed it, taking it into all her consideration. she hated her — she wished you had loved her in the ways you did for cassie.

“i won’t contact you again,” aubrey began, “but i also knew i wasn’t wrong.”