copacetic.

Yeah, especially me, right? Oh, I love LA! Time with family is nice. How’d your mum doing, babes?

You’re the coolest of them all, babes. She’s eh... she’s doing better. It makes her happy when I’m around, but when I’m around for too long she tells me I need to get out of the house. Confusing woman, she is.

Okay, but if you were in his position, would you really want to let us feel him?

I don’t see why not. 

I grew up in Belfast. You mate?

Mullingar. It’s always a great time to be back though, isn’t it? 

Just try and keep yourself occupied in the middle of nowhere. I’ll see you soon, I promise. I don’t know, it also has really pretty views and nice boys to look at.

Maybe I’ll throw myself overboard and grow some fins. Wouldn’t that be cool? Nice boys, whatever. You can look at nice boys anywhere. 

Coldplay? Really? I can see you fitting in. I think maybe the reason Chris Martin got the job is because of his age. That could be it, possibly.

I mean, considering him and the rest of his band mates have like, a seventeen year age gap between me and them, I can see where you’re coming from. It might’ve been a little weird for the rest of them to have a newborn as a lead singer. 

Yeah, I can’t wait to see it because I mean Melissa McCarthy. Though oh my god, I support that idea. Actually go put it out there as an idea, you have more fans then I do. 

Melissa McCarthy is a comedic genius. I fell in love with her after Bridesmaids. I’m on it! I’ll see what I can do. If they don’t start a petition or anything to get this going, we may have to have a chat with the big guys.  

You love it really, admit it. OF course, because you are the irish princess, be all green and sparkly. But you should come over 

I’m essentially a leprechaun, except without the red hair and all. I should, should I? 

Who better than the Irish native himself to get drunk off my ass with? I’m counting on you to show me a good time, Horan.

I’ll show anyone and everyone around. There’s quite a few pubs on my list that I’d love to hit, I’m just looking for people to go with me. 

Wow, we aren’t even married yet and you can read my mind? You amaze me every day. All of the tough things that most people don’t want to talk about, we’ll be able to discuss whenever it’s needed. Even late at night.

I was born with mind reading abilities, didn’t you know? Late at night? I don’t know about that... I need my full eight hours otherwise I’m a like a grumpy old man whenever I do wake up the next day. 

Of course Niall, anything for you. We have our whole lives ahead of us and we’re going to spend it so in love right? Well in the past I did yes. Now I just do more of the talking with my fans in meet and greets. They are a lovely bunch, let me tell you. I wouldn’t try and use up all the time, I’d have to be careful. Then I’ll have to show you all the good eats we have here.

Obviously. We’ll be that couple who walk down the block and everyone just screams, “goals” because we really are goals. We’ll become hit memes and everything. Ah yes, meet and greets are a fun time. I love all the weird poses they come up with for us, it’s always a fun time. So long as poutine is on that list of good eats, then I’m solid.