TTC Isn't Easy

I have been trying to get pregnant for 5 years consistantly. Last summer the doctors broke the news that i do not ovulate on my own and would need treatment to do so. I have not done any treatments. My period is over 2 months late getting closer to 3 months. Ive been under alot of stress and have been having horrible stomach pains, vommitting and increased urination that keeps me up at night. No UTI, no kidney infection, nothing major going on this is all unexplained. My mother is currently forcing me to take a pregnancy test and im tired of my heart being broken.

Given my new medical status I am too scared to wait to have kids and I hope to be pregnant by the end of next summer

Even though it is 100% impossible because of my lack of sex, I wish the doctor's would come running in telling me that all my problems are because I'm pregnant.

I fear I will never feel a kick in my stomach I wonder if I would even survive child birth I question why I was made this way I hope to hear a child calling me mom I dream of having a family

I was right, even though my period was three days late I am not pregnant. My period has come full force pain,clots and all.

Period was due Monday, it is Wednesday and I haven't even shown spotting but I have no CF. Too scared of disappointment to take a test because my endometriosis always makes me late.

Another month and I don't even have to wait for my period to know it failed. Today is my testing day and again I am choosing to not be disappointed and wait to see that pink in my underwear appear.