Nonsense

Why is it after so many years, I still feel the same. I can lie to myself and fall for someone new, but as soon as I see you, it’s like they never existed. I wonder when I’ll be able to move on.

I didn’t know what it was like to be alone until now. No one seems to care. No one seems to notice. There’s no one to blame but me... but god what would I give for someone to hold me and say that it’s going to okay because sometimes it doesn’t feel that way.

Everyday is getting a little better than the last but I still feel that empty part of me that you used to fill.

I haven’t been okay for a while and you don’t care.

I have dreams of you looking at me the way you look at her.

I spent all last spring thinking of you and I spent most of this summer thinking of you... but as fall starts to come closer and the distance between us grows, it's not as bad anymore. I don't wake wanting to see you or wonder what you're doing. It feels good, but sad at the same time. I don't want you out of my life despite us not being as close anymore. I hope fall treats you well and winter brings us back together.

I didn't lose you because I never had you. It's as simple and heartbreaking as that.